regress

today was a no good, lousy, ugly, shitty day.

i was totally wrong yesterday. completely, totally, utterly wrong about making progress with mr smear, because today he continued on with the awful behavior and properly alienated a bunch (if not most) of the kids in his class. his "nemesis"? the kid he's been bullying non-stop for months? i had to have a chat with one of his dads this evening. that was not a comfortable conversation.

...

today began with a fight over the toilet at around 5am (okay, it was more complicated than that), and i started my day with a headache and a neck-ache and a lot of shitty feelings.

i had a long day working from home, which wasn't fun but was at least somewhat successful, and then we went together to pick up mr smear.

i'm trying to be cool and follow the therapist's instructions, but it's fucking hard. i don't know if she understands what's actually going on, and we're going to have a talk in the morning. this evening was a right mess.

in addition to all that, my mother just got called out to sort out a generator in the middle of a winter's night and i just feel like that's a strong indicator of something being very wrong in this world.

i spent most of today just wanting it to end, and it kept getting progressively worse. i'm superstitiously nervous about typing anything about my hopes for tonight / tomorrow morning.