hopefully tomorrow will be better

it's exhausting trying to teach someone how not to self-sabotage while they're busy self-sabotaging.

saturday:

a long walk with an apparent misunderstanding of what the word "port" meant. some of it was pleasant.

yesterday:

gd and i went to the clinic and the hospital and sorted a bunch of things out. some of it needs to be redone because i have a form to fill in and no idea who's supposed to fill it in nor what precisely it's for.

it was a long day working from home. it ended with me pushing and praying.

mr smear surprised us by asking to go to his classmate's after school. we were a little weirded out by this because he's been complaining about this kid for a while. when we went to pick him up in the evening we found him very busy making sure they wouldn't like him.

we tried talking to him last night about it. he didn't want to listen.

today:

we tried talking to him this morning about it. he didn't want to listen. the walk to school was mostly him being angry with me, and then eventually him bursting into tears and apologizing. it was heartbreaking.

i spent the next two hours putting together fixes for the stuff yesterday's prayers hadn't sufficed for,   then struggling with administrative stuff.

it was a dust-stormy day, and gd and i were both concerned about mr smear and feeling shitty about what he was going through. it was a relief to hear from her in the afternoon that she'd picked him up from school and that things had been mostly okay.

i managed to get a lot of stuff done today. it was a pretty good work day. i came home early to take mr smear out for an ice-cream, gd joined and co-opted and we ended up having laffot for dinner. (i'm exercising portion control after two days feeling very uncomfortable in my body, so two laffot and one pita). we bumped into an old friend from the rollerblading group who's become a vegan activist working with a farm sanctuary, so that was cool.

we had a minor incident on the way home (mr smear accidentally kicked the back of gd's ankle and then got upset when i explained why it was his fault and not hers), but got over it. then we convinced him to shower immediately and quickly so that we could play a game of goodcritters. it started off alright, but then he blatantly cheated and that made it shitty.

hopefully next time will be better.

bedtime itself was mostly good. aside from a quick update with my mom, the evening has been spent playing rayman (we're soooooo close to the final level of awesomeness!) and watching firefly. and battling an extremely patient mosquito.

it wasn't all bad today, but hopefully tomorrow will be better.