hip flexor nightmares

this morning i woke up around 4am from a dream in which i was trying to solve an unsolvable problem, and although i recognized it as unsolvable upon (half) waking i simply couldn't get my brain to let it go. coupled with the fact that i was half-asleep and my hip flexors were in agony, and none of the usual routines made an iota of a difference, i was just miserable for however long it took to get back to bed (probably an hour).

i guess it didn't help that i had only gone to bed around 2am in the first place, having dragged my afternoon's "i'll just clean up some of my projects" into "let me just make a start on a python cdk guide" into "i realize my mobile app backend needs some refactoring if i want to be able to charge customers separately"...

wednesday:

i headed over to my mom's so that i could be focused for my company workshop ("hackathon"), and in retrospect i think that made it harder to concentrate as a) my phone didn't stop ringing and gd wasn't around to help me out and b) i was distracted by a letter from nedbank informing me of a new policy that i never authorized (i'm not a client) followed by an email from my new bank informing me that there's some sort of debit order registered for them as well. WTF.

the start of the workshop was kinda slow and boring, but its value became apparent later on. i was really pleased that my boss joined our team so that he could witness my performance (i feel like i've been a black box since we went 100% remote, we don't sync very often and it's almost never on details. i like that he trusts me, but i would like my wins to be more visible). by the end of the day i felt stretched thin, but i'd managed to condense the problems raised into a long-term solution as well as a strategy for the next day's prototype that everyone agreed on.

i had a (small) drink with my mom as we discussed our emigration strategy, and then came home for dinner, showertime and an early bedtime. i was exhausted.

thursday:

after wednesday's debacle i let gd talk me into working from home. the morning was high pressure as we worked towards the demo, and the great news was that we pulled off a functional tool that general management quite liked. the sad news was that i ate leftovers that didn't agree with me, and spent the afternoon purging my lunch and feeling awful. second time in two weeks.

i felt a bit better by dinner time. eating a few bites was a mistake, and the rest of the evening / most of the night was horrible.

friday: 

friday morning was a visit to the doctor and a full checkup, she's a bit pushy on the meds but i do understand where she's coming from so i'm willing to give it a go (she's more worried about my anxiety levels than anything else).

friday afternoon was a long, long series of repetitive test steps with slow but steady progress until it was suddenly 6.15 and way past time to walk away.

friday night was great until bedtime, massive drama over watching tv that left everyone unhappy.

...

aside from my cdk projects, i spent a good chunk of yesterday doing not much. i read the first volume of frank miller's sin city (which i'm almost certain i must have read before, but can't remember and it's so good i'm sure that i would have), got on the exercise bike, watched titan a.e. with the family and starship troopers after mr smear went to bed (sadly, gd's really not a fan).

this morning's been pretty good. a little productive, a little gaming, and we're getting ready to go out for a walk now.