poor taste

problems with working from home during lockdown #5734983: i was in a meeting this morning, my boss is working on a python project and gd overheard me say something to him that included "if you're fiddling with your package...". i realized as soon as the words were out of my mouth that that was NOT the appropriate phrase, but i managed to shake it off and move on, and my boss and coworker on the call didn't seem to notice so i chalked that up to their being german - i mean that in the sense that the phrase probably doesn't translate.

but gd heard. and gd began giggling uncontrollably and loudly, and i - in the middle of a very serious discussion - had to move my meeting to a different room with my boss and coworker laughing at me cry-laughing hysterically until i could get a hold of myself.

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i came up with an original joke today:

A man dies, but has no recollection of his last moments. Death greets him with a television screen and a box of tissues and says "I want you to come to your own conclusions".

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unexpected banking experiences:

1. on my way to the bank to close my account, it suddenly occurred to me that i might have more money that i hadn't transferred, and i did. so i transferred the paltry sum, then purchased R900's worth of solidarity fund vouchers with my non-transferable ebucks. having emptied my account, i was then informed that i couldn't close it without paying the (unlisted) outstanding account fee. it was R30. i NEVER have cash on me, but in a flash of desperate inspiration i checked my wallet and found R40.

2. i never thought i'd enter a bank wearing a mask and feel like i was being robbed.

3. i walked out of the bank and attracted the attention of a man lurking between shops.

"hey, big man, you look pissed"

"yeah, i've just been robbed by the bank"

"robbed by who?!"

"the bank. they rob everybody."

he tried to sell me ecstasy and marijuana. we're still in level 4 lockdown until next week, but i'll be damned if that's not "essential services" in these trying times...