horrible week over

this is really hard, even though some of it's quite rewarding. i've just read this excellent article and it rings very, painfully true.

this work week did not feel good, i think mr devops has lost patience with me and i've been miserably trying to piece things together from what he's told me but have just been overwhelmed - hopefully i can make a rescue next week. i even took yesterday and today off, partially for passover but partially just to give myself room to breathe. i wrote python scripts while doing chores and managing mr smear. it's been... fun. okay, some of it really has been fun, but i've been completely drained.

the good news is that i've now written scripts to upload my lost blog posts to blogger! there's a limit, though, which i hope is daily so i can continue upload over the course of the next few days. it was mainly to manage my ocd anxiety, the niggling irritation every time i see those posts in my backups and think about how many years they've been there waiting to go back online. it's a silly, probably meaningless thing but it's making me feel a bit better.

pesach has been remarkably successful. our first night seder on zoom worked pretty well, my only regret was that everyone disappeared for the second half and mr smear was already over the evening and in bed. but he did enjoy it and participate! for the second night there was a kid's seder and he got into that too, so i feel like he's prepped for next year. he loves matzah. he really, really couldn't handle the chrain (horseradish). poor kid looked like his face would implode.

today's big wins were toy story 3 (and hopefully fixing the remote), a long time spent kicking a ball around the garden, carcassonne, two hours pitching some business ideas to my cousin, kiddush with my mom, watching sing as a special treat and then negotiating the resulting "i don't wanna go to bed!" to "i want a story! a movie is NOT a story!" to reciting a poem to him that calmed him down enough to say goodnight and let me and gd watch a couple of episodes of con man.

now i've practiced some leyning and i'm pretty sure i should have called it a night about an hour ago. the last few days i've been waking up almost as tired as when i go to bed.