big day: ups and downs

i began the registration process for the next academic year - i've paid my fees, and all i have to do now is mail the application. it took a lot of effort, but everything's clear now ^_^ i got the bookings sorted out for my travels at the end of the year - it took a lot of ear-warming, but my cousin and i eventually managed to find a solution that was cheaper and fit all the requirements ^_^ i got some fairly complex work done in spite of being broken. i went to meet the cute bartender from the weekend, who wasn't working. we had a drink, chatted in a staggered fashion, and i was surprised when i left to receive very positive signals. is being cool enough? the guy i was supposed to meet with rocked up around five minutes before i needed to go, but he had some pretty good ideas. he walked back most of the way with me, and i got him chewing over my criticism of israeli punctuality without having to chew him out :) the route was brilliant tonight. 30km and filled with chatter and good burning periods :) i have just seen pictures of myself with a beard. i'm blown away by how different i look! and i don't get why girls seem to dig it.

i got into trouble for telling my chatroulette story to someone who was supposed to be working - our SC got over the shock (nystire was canning himself from the expression on his face, and i didn't want to ruin the effect by turning around to look) by instructing me not to talk to him during work hours. no k's choice for me: the tickets are all sold out :( i took the key to the dorms and slept for an hour, waking up feeling absolutely horrible. in my excitement, i posted a positive status message on facebook only to have some idiot with a crappy sense of humour take the piss out of my enthusiasm. that really upset me, and i'm contemplating de-friending him in spite of his good intentions. words have power, and i don't like it when people say stupid, nasty things just for the sake of being heard. the guy i'd arranged to meet with called me a few minutes before the designated time to inform me that he was going to be about an hour late. i was planning on going without him, and it afforded me the opportunity i needed to switch out my wheels (discovering that i need new bearings. dammit.), but it still wasn't nice.

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my response to a long message from a friend of aeroplane's, who appears to be rather troubled:

lol - you remind me of myself ten years ago, when i finally realized what it was i wanted to do with my life.

every day you wake up, you choose again. you CHOOSE to ask yourself those questions and do nothing about the answers, because you choose the familiar path and you choose the disappointment and you choose the view that there's nothing you can do.

the truth is, you can choose something else. and that something else doesn't mean throwing away what you have, what you've been, rather turning it all in a new direction. find something that matters to you and do it, or find the person you want to be and be it, and in a way that makes you happy.

just like magnum, it's all about priorities. and sacrifices. and ice-cream. chocolate ice-cream, because that's always going to be the best there is. because chocolate is underrated. chocolate is equivalent to small quantities of love.

sometimes you have to ask yourself *WHY* some of your dreams have been fed to you and others are you vomiting them back (white picket fence vs polygamy) - you sound like a really smart person and that's the source of all your troubles. either dumb yourself down, or do something with what you have!

but don't blame the stars. yours are wonderful :)

there's no need to go back to the village, what we need is to get to the next stage safely. and realize that there is more love in each and every one of us than is needed to make the world, and our future absolutely perfect. a brotherhood of man is possible only if we each learn to love and trust without fear of being hurt.

innocence is sacrosanct.

...

and now that i've been altogether too serious for one night (i hope this has been received in good spirits), i'm going to bed. i leave you with two reading suggestions - james hillman's re-visioning psychology and peter berger and anton zijderveld's in praise of doubt, and a wish for you to wake up with eyes open to the fact that you get to choose what tomorrow brings.

sweet dreams!

[btw - i can't see your profile, only mine ;)]

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the watermelon i just took a chunk from is delicious. the latest episode of how i met your mother is great. i have to get up soon, so i'm calling it a night.