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Friday, April 03, 2009

blame it on the pretzel

we passed inspection yesterday with flying colours - not too surprising considering that we spent 3 days preparing for it...

i got to do something useful before going home, but i've been despondent and suffering a severe sense of hopelessness and pointlessness every time i sit in front of my computer so it doesn't count for too much.

apropos the altercation, it wasn't unpleasant but it wasn't good either. it was only late last night and after much irritation that i finally decided to just take whatever comes of the paint / tile / panel story and deal with anything i don't like later.

and i did *so* want things to be right first shot.

i went to lake's last night for coffee, and woke up there this morning. she really upset me and pushed a whole bunch of buttons, and i'm beginning to realize just how bad i've become at letting myself enjoy life. i know i overthink and care too much about all the wrong things, that i can't focus on anything unless i'm wallowing and that even when i can remove the mask i don't because i'm afraid that i'll forget to put it back on.

i have got to start repeating the bill hicks mantra: it's just a ride. just because i'm sacrificing doesn't mean i have to suppress *everything*.

so there's this pretzel shop on dizengof, and i couldn't deny the awesome attractive power of the caramel and almond.
oh, and i bought myself a copy of the alice's adventures in wonderland pop-up :)

and spoke to a man about future space prospects.

instead of typing this on my computer i've been standing a block away waiting for the hardware store to open, but i just remembered that in all the excitement of being hooked up to the net i forgot to brush my teeth.

*enters the elevator*

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