squeezing not helping

fortunately, somebody called me at 7.30am and woke me up, otherwise i would've been more than just an hour late. the headache was a bit harsh, but other than that i was relatively alright.

a few more problems occurred today, so not much progress made. i had a fight with someone over responsibility, which we managed to resolve eventually - but it wasn't pretty.

i was in a hurry and agitated in the evening, and my TL pointed out that i was being needlessly and unhelpfully stressed. i've been running this through my head for the last few hours, and ignoring the fact that it's the second time he's caught me out in two days, i think i need to refocus my general aggravation levels.

after pondering for a bit, i had a vision of myself sitting cross-legged and bound in chains to my past, pulling myself to the right with my work and to the left with my self-expression, trying to grip my long-term goals with my teeth but unable to release or be released by the other things to give me the flexibility to stretch...

i need to calm down, i need to let the things i cannot change be. and i need to figure out how to do this without ceasing to care, because the two concepts are pretty much polar opposites to me.

the lunar eclipse is beginning in another seven hours, so i think i'm gonna get some sleep and hopefully i'll wake up in time to catch some of it. i don't even know if i can see it from my neighbourhood.