fallen demons

i laugh at myself regularly because i get completely swept away by music and lyrics that i only vaguely understand... bitter laughter, because i've been perusing tool and a perfect circle lyrics for the past couple of hours and discovered how much i've missed.

maynard james keenan has been my favourite poet since i first paid attention to ænima, and a lot of the stuff has gone straight over my head.

the interview (oct 2001) was refreshing to read, the songs about his mother [judith, wings for marie and 10,000 days (wings part 2)] are far more powerful in context.

in response, i just had a page flow concerning my late* father's mortality, which i'm going to try to disguise / dress up a little before posting.

of course, the backwards bit from intension is genius.

and i've just ordered three of the music video dvds (parabola, schism and vicarious) from amazon... i had to.

i've finally sketched out what i described a few days ago, but i'm having an issue with symbolism. i don't want to (and can't) include anything that forms an example, but i need to describe a direction with my left hand that strays from any discernible destination. it's something that reflects me, and i have trouble drawing myself as i desire myself to be.

i have too many books i need to read (a few of which i've already begun), too many ideas that i want to ingratiate with canvas, too many movies to watch, too many useful and fun applications to code - too many distractions from the important task of meditating on my anima.

i have a feeling i'm going to continue to ignore myself, for a while at any rate.

*erm... as opposed to my other one?