more on girls and revenge

forgot to mention in the last post - s-cadet's response: "old enough to pee, old enough for me."
i've never heard that before, and after leaving a country where infant-rape is heard of, that's not funny.

i arrived SUPER late yesterday morning. specifically because i got on a bus at the train station that took twenty minutes to follow an odd route and arrive back at the same station. WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THAT ONE UP?! AND WHY ARE THE SIGNS SO UNCLEAR?!

i walked in to discover that nemesis had removed all my keys AGAIN. this time leaving the question "who am i?" in the middle. i switched it around to "as5hole" and replaced his keyboard, nearly busting his motherboard in the process and having to perform an emergency reset >D (oops. really.)

i spent some time emailing, then we went for lunch. on the way out from the mess hall i saw a cute girl who'd given me a light before, and i asked her for a smoke.
"how did you know that i smoke?!"
i just smiled, winked and walked ;)

we had a huge farewell ceremony that brought back a long-lost sensation of what it's like to serve in the military... it's odd that when you're in the middle of it all it's easy to forget where you are.

nystire helped me run some rushed errands, and we barely made it back for a second ceremony. i wasn't rude to the rabbi this time - he seems like a nice guy. later on in the day i received a phone call that went as follows:

"listen, you had permission to use NIS 270. here i see you did that twice, which make 540. you didn't have authorization for that amount."
"did you notice that both the copies you have are identical?"
"yes. i don't think you understand, you can't go over the amount you were allotted!"

i kept repeating myself until i couldn't control the laughter anymore, and advised him to show his commander before contacting me again. i was extremely explicit in my instructions, and repeated them a few times until i was pretty sure that he got the picture.

i don't think he's cut out for logistics.

i caught the dead-sexy girl from the office next door on her way out, and coerced her into assisting me with my revenge efforts :)

i sat with my nemesis and his replacement for a long, amusing cup of coffee, and then took the shuttle home with a teammate. the cute captain from upstairs was with us, and it was a good opportunity to talk.

i got off the shuttle, and while waiting for the light to change some guy walked up wearing the t-shirt we all got from our rollerblading group many years ago. we started talking, and suddenly he asked me what i was planning on doing tonight.
"why?"
"there's a huge meeting in the park." he further explained that it was for some pyramid scheme, and that he'd really like me to go. i made it perfectly clear, in the most offensive way i could (and i'm pretty good), that in no way, shape or form was i going to get suckered in to wasting my time on such idle crap.
that was the end of that conversation.

i spent a short while prepping with nystire for the revenge effort, catching up on net-stuff (like chatting a lot and reading arbitrary news), and then crashed for an hour.

it was HARD to wake up. i walked in a daze to the coffee shop, got a super-strong to go, and began the long walk to florentin.
nystire called me up to explain that his laptop, his extremely powerful laptop which happily runs vista, cannot handle communicating with our phones. mad phone calling and harrassing, in both directions (i couldn't do much more), when it suddenly struck me that spot has an available laptop.

cool, solution found, i made my way to the bar. awesome bar, great style, and as i walked in they put on a portishead album and let it play. i was early, so i got myself a drink and sat and chilled until lipgirl rocked up.

with a bunch of friends whom i shared no connection with whatsoever. so i sat with them, pretty much silent and just enjoying the funky music in spite of being generally uncomfortable with these strangers. at some point i realized that i recognized one of the girls - i'd met her and lipgirl together, and i amazed myself when i discovered that i remembered her name and what she did during her army service from talking to her so many years ago!
and i generally suck with that sort of thing. now if only i could get it right with the hot girls.

anyway, lipgirl was looking good, but i had to disappear before turning into a pumpkin so i got a very warm hug goodbye and walked off to find a taxi.

i met up with spot and his blonde long-time girl at the zinc, 'cause some things are more important than sleep :P
the waitress was fine, and i somehow ended up having a Deep And MeaNingful conversation with her. i didn't get her number, because quite frankly by the time we were all ready to go i was seriously feeling the alcohol (i'd had more to drink at the previous bar, and a guinness and shooter on top of that broke my limit) and didn't trust myself to keep my cool :P

it was a fun outing though, it was refreshing chatting with spot's girl again. good going, spot :)



spot really pissed me off - after all the drama, he then came to tell me that his laptop is toast and completely unusable. that SUCKED.

so i got in the shower, wasted, to discover that the soap had disappeared. then i began to recall spot saying something about moving the soap, and it all clicked into place. yes, he'd warned me, yes, he'd told me to get more, yes, and i may or may not have responded.
bottom line, i made him get out of bed with his woman to get me soap, which as pissed off as that made him (with his girl giggling hysterically in disbelief in the background), i find rather amusing in retrospect.

i woke up after 7am, wondering my alarms hadn't gone off. or if i'd turned them off and gone back to sleep. either way, i was going to be late, and it was a mad dash to get to base. my tardiness was noticed again, and only understood around lunchtime when my alarm went off while we were eating.
i must've been pretty fucked up.

i got stuff done this morning in spite of spending time not sorting out the revenge. until someone finally remembered that if we simply switched sim-cards, the themes would swap! how stupid are we?! (we were trying to upload directly with a cable. pffff.)

so nystire and i tested the theory, it worked beautifully. after lunch, before the big meeting, my nemesis arrived. we switched out the phone right under his nose. i was putting it back while distracting him with complete bullshit, and that was a serious rush :P

all was going well until we were two minutes outside of the meeting. for some reason he checked his phone - even though it was supposed to be off - and was shocked with this background.

i couldn't take any chances, so i called him immediately (the ringer was set to EXTREME LOUDNESS), and everybody heard his phone blasting aqua - barbie girl. it wasn't quite what i'd intended (i planned on doing it during the meeting itself), but the effect was good enough. he began freaking out, convinced that i'd downloaded everything onto his phone and that it'd cost him money, and then he freaked out even more when he thought that i'd deleted all the media that he had downloaded and paid for...

i mentioned to nystire that he hadn't noticed yet that we'd swapped the phones, and he overheard and demanded his back. then we messed with him a bit more and by the time we walked into the meeting he was left holding his sim card and with no clue where the phones had all gone ^_^

our commander asked us each to write something anonymously and pass it over. when he read out the first one, i asked the guys what it meant. when they explained it to me, i responded solemnly: "oh. i guess i didn't write that one, then." - i'm still giggling thinking about it.

the meeting was long (two hours) and i was on the verge of drooling by the end of it. i also needed to pee desperately, but i'm fairly sure you didn't need to know that. [actually, there's a reason for me mentioning that but this is good enough for a personal reminder, i don't want to go into detail]

just before leaving, i got and grasped another opportunity; after all that had transpired i'd reset my phone's settings and switched his out again. this time i put a cute, pink kitty sticker on it, and fixed the settings so that even if he changes them, the next time his phone is turned on they'll reset back to barbie girl and that wallpaper. he does have a range of wallpapers to choose from >D

i bailed immediately - now's he gone for the week of guard-duty with the wrong phone that will shame him in front of the real soldiers. when he gets back, his desk is going to be bright pink and i will have embarrassing posters of him posted all around.

spot and i went out for a smoke after i got home, and ran into our new neighbour. she is cute, very sexy and amusing as hell. and quite touchy-feely, which doesn't bother me in the slightest.

now to shower and chill before meeting with the kid at cafeneto, before going to bed for the last weeknight before an AWESOME weekend ^_^

an AWESOME weekend beginning tomorrow evening with a date with ink's incredibly cute co-worker :D

quote for the day:
dishonourable discharge: claiming the fetus you're responsible for isn't yours