that TEARS it!

i had a sucky day. i think. the important bits, at any rate.

started off getting up early, and getting to the orthopaedist. who screamed at me for about fifteen minutes for not getting treatment. he also mentioned that once i've gotten an EMG - if what the other doctors have said is correct - then my medical profile will drop, and i'll be exempt from service.

i really don't know how i feel about that.

i visited her on her base, and we chatted for quite a while. it was nice.

i got back to the base, to discover that the dog had been playing gta2 instead of working. it could be that it's the jealousy that bothers me, it could also be that if he doesn't finish his job we're all going down for it.

we went out for a good lunch, then returned to a day of random bits of work and lots of quiet time. so i played gta2. because i enjoy it, dammit! it's totally forbidden to run external programs on the army network, and if anyone from the information security team catches you, there's hell to pay.

and they have all sorts of ingenius tools built specifically to ensure that if such a breach occurs, they'll know immediately.

suddenly, the door BURSTS open, and a group of girls strut in with self-importance written all over them, and i panic. my monitor's barely visible from the door, but they're walking around so i turn off the monitor.

thank you gta. i'd been standing near a payphone, and my pc speaker was chiming out the "ring ring", "ring ring" over and over.

oh god.

so i press the keys to close the game.

"ring ring"
"ring ring"

FUCK.

the girls are looking at me, so i make a dismissive gesture and keep my eyes on theirs, with the ringing in the background. they're suspicious.

something else grabs their attention, and i take the opportunity to press the keys again. they don't work. i start pressing all sorts of keys, and suddenly one of them whips around and stares at me. i stop, repeat the dismissive gesture (and realize how absurd that gesture seems). she looks at me quizzically.

"ring ring"
"ring ring"

she looks to her group for support, and i start slamming random keys. the sound stops, i have no idea what i've just done to my pc.

she gives me another strange look, and then: "we need to do an inventory of your room. mind if we look around?"

DAMN. DAMN. all that, for nothing? the guys had noticed, and burst out laughing, and i was white as a sheet and pouring with sweat. i didn't stop shaking for about fifteen minutes afterwards.

then came the shittiest part of the day. our team leader has been really pissy lately, and really petty. i guess it's from the disengagement, and the wanker has personal issues anyway. but now he's just being a right prick. i'm fairly certain it's a case of "jealousy makes you nasty" (he knows our section commander was more satisfied with my leadership), because DAMN he's nasty.

in the afternoon we had a problem that NOT ONE OF US is capable of dealing with. and he gave me shit about it (although i'd been pulling at straws and consulting all the "experts", who were also clueless), and told me to fix it IMMEDIATELY. which is tantamount to "don't leave till it's done"... i actually had to get help from other people, including our section commander, to get him to back off and let me go home.

once the day was over, i played some gta2 in peace and quiet. i've never completed the first level, and still haven't. but i thoroughly enjoy just playing it.

the dog was on alert, so i went and told him the stories. i then bussed through to my boss's place, and read a lot of stone of tears on the way. phenomenal book. i slept a bit too, which i really needed.

i picked up my salary, and had a long talk with him. then i headed home. i was going to work some, but i just can't. i really can't. i feel totally demotivated.