*blank stare*

saturday:

approximately 00.30, ru55 picked me up with a friend of his from germany, and we drove about 3 hours to get to our destination.

which really was in the middle of the desert. it was absolutely mind-blowing to get out the car, and hear absolutely NOTHING. no ambient sound, whatsoever. and it was so incredibly beautiful.

when we arrived at the party itself, there were about 20 people, and the music was thumping. the dj began playing tunes with a rolling beat, which is nice and driving, but after one or two tunes with that beat it really becomes boring.

apparently the dj didn't have any other beats in his collection.

about 5am i lay down, and woke up suddenly at 6.30. with about 2/300 people around, and a packed dancefloor. even though it was still the same beat.

i milled around a bit, ran into ru55, and we went to the car to pick up some gear we'd forgotten. we got back at 7.30 - and they'd changed the dj. and the music - was - to DIE for. powerful, driving, and totally hypnotic. honestly some of the best trance i've ever heard.

the music continued like this until we left, which was around 11. i couldn't leave the dance-floor... as tired as i was, my body just refused to give up and i went HARD. and had a huge grin on my face the entire time.

hell, there were even pretty girls there, which generally doesn't happen. and all this digging was taking place in the middle of a -real- desert, and it's been two years since i've experienced anything like it. i haven't had that much fun in longer than i can remember, i really let go and got my mind cleared.

and my body a little sunburned... but who's counting?

ru55 got us to the closest petrol station, which was about 20km away, and i drove the rest of the way back. i enjoyed that.

i dropped myself off close to SB's, and walked to her place. it was REALLY nice seeing her again. i had a quick, and much needed shower (i was filthy), and we sat down to talk.

and talk we did. including a few VERY uncomfortable silences, and we were both awkward. eventually i got it together to ask the question that was spinning around and around in my mind: "what about us?"
and although it was anticipated, i still didn't like hearing the answer, and it hurt me a lot more than i expected. whatever the reason(s), we're not happening. we discussed some other things, and she then invited me to join her at some event she was on her way to - which i declined. not only is my heart still bleeding (more sadness that this story has ended like this, for both of us, than anything else), but i was totally broken from partying on top of general exhaustion.

i went for a walk through tel aviv. i found a games arcade, and for a short while distracted myself with machine guns. now there's an arcade machine that i need to OWN.

i got to the lincoln on my way home, and played an hour of pool. i was so down, that i couldn't even look in the eyes of the two cute girls at the next table who were hitting on me (at one point, one scaled my just-lit cigarette, the other then came over, all smiles, to apologize on her behalf. my responses were kind of lacking in humour).

i left the lincoln, and as i was walking out the mongoose called me to say he would be arriving at my place within ten minutes - when it takes me twenty to walk. so i walked until i could catch a taxi - which happened to be VERY close to home. and it cost me as much to get home as it normally does to get from my place to the lincoln, all the way.

that sucked. but the mongoose had been waiting already.

we spent a while talking, and listening to good music. he told me he'd kick my ass in tekken, so i beat him with EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. and badly, too. he got upset, so i let him play counterstrike - which he's REALLY good at. i was very surprised - i'd been worried he'd give my nick a bad name... terrible pun that.

we then took a cab to the lizard. now, i had reached the verge of total meltdown, but a very good female friend (tiny, dead sexy, and seriously lacking in self-confidence) of his had been treated horrifically by some bastard the night before, and he was supposed to be going there again. my job was to beat the shit out of him.

i was horribly dejected, and hadn't eaten anything since the night before. and i did have a half-litre of beer at the lincoln. easy now, this story's not gonna be THAT exciting. i forced myself to eat what would have been a very tasty sandwich, while staring dejectedly into space. actually, the staring into space pretty much defines my evening.

sunday:

the guy never rocked up, so about 00.30 the girl gave me a ride home. i sat down in the car and feinted. suddenly i was home, and i had to take the stairs up to my apartment very, very carefully. i flopped into bed and slept until...

my alarm went off at 6.30. i have no clue how i got up. got to the base almost on time, and the first thing that happened was i got jipped by the coffee machine, which gave me smelly, foul-tasting water. i got seriously weird looks when i tossed it into a potplant.

i had breakfast with the mongoose. caffeine is the only reason i'm still breathing. i then went to have a chat with my section commander. we shouted at each other for a while. he described a possible project we'll be getting that would be AMAZING, if not for the fact that none of the projects he's promised us have ever come close to fruition. i went to the mongoose's section leader, had a talk with her about possibly moving to their section, and the results were most positive.

and then i spoke to my team leader. i told him everything that had transpired, and he's told me to get cracking on a prototype for the system the section commander described. and that's my job right now.

THAT - is the SHIT. i'm actually excited about doing it. i don't know how things will pan out, but at least for the moment i'll be okay. i'm not in the slightest bit under the illusion that everything's now peachy-creamy, but it does give me hope. if it all goes sour, which is a definite possibility, then i'm going to go crazy and do something irrational.

how's THAT for foresight?

i resumed work on my Really Sweet Java App, and then ran off halfway through a function change to a meeting with the guys from herzeliya pituach, about the SCM system. the meeting was an absolute pleasure, and the work is definitely interesting, but not too complicated. it's a serious system, and these people are talking serious money.

they want the system yesterday, so i've got to begin the basic design right away, so i can estimate time. once we've agreed on design, we'll talk money for real.

it was really nice to meet and have a serious discussion with real businessmen, who know what the hell they're doing. and can see past my uniform. it's always nice to be treated like a professional, and they were most impressed by the things i pulled out of my business science hat as well as my technical expertise. i know i sound like i'm blowing my own horn, but that's only because i am.

i spent the rest of the afternoon working on my Really Sweet Java App (completely forgetting about that function change, and getting bitten in the ass badly), and it's complete. and it turned out even sweeter than anticipated. not only does the damn thing work, and work NICELY, it looks pretty stylish too. i finally gave up on being clever with the other awt layouts, and stuck with the GridBagLayout. not too simple to "get", but easy enough to use. once i realized it works exactly the same as html tables, of course.

i came straight home... dozing off and waking up in a cold sweat every now and again, and have spent an hour working on a problem that's developed on the new hospital server.

after much pain and deliberation, i decided to test the same stuff on mine, and came up with an interesting result: the woman i work with ran exactly the same test on my machine, and NEVER CHECKED THE GODDAMN RESULTS. i have exactly the same problems from here. and we were going through all the code to see what was different between our machines.

FOOLISH HUMAN.

so i'm going to get back to that, and the design for the new system (med supplies). and then i'm going to keel over and die.

i haven't spoken to SB today, and i want to, but i have nothing to say. that kills me.

[added later] aaaaand i discovered that the mistake lies with me. there was something different in the database, and it wasn't all her fault. whoops. at least that's dealt with.