the first shift ended at 9pm, but the mongoose crashed his car so the plans got all screwed up. ended up sitting and chatting with the guys, then watching igby goes down. great film.
the second shift saw me at the first phone, and i was inconvenienced by a number of calls. it was a weird group, too. unfortunately, the last call i took was an abusive caller, who caught me totally off-guard and unprepared. i didn't have enough information at my disposal, and we're not allowed to be anything less than polite. and he was *just* not aggressive enough, in my opinion, to warrant disconnecting the call.
he seriously aggravated me, first by telling me i should maybe look for another job, then by constantly making cracks about me being a siberian. i hate stupid people. i hate stupid people even more when they're arrogant and offensive.
got some time to calm down, and played heli-attack 3 on miniclip. a change of style, and far improved.
i had to walk home, and so had plenty of time to contemplate. my attention has been riveted by the incident yesterday when being released. in fact, the girl in question showed me her arm today, and the marks are not only there, they've turned blue.
i am RAGING that that motherfucker, and people like him, exist. i keep wishing, as i'd hoped at the time, that he would have gotten up to fight. i've been playing the scene over and over in my head, and i'm frustrated at the loss of satisfaction i would have gotten from breaking him. in a way it IS selfish of me, but i don't care. he managed to trigger of surge of pure hatred, a total desire to see him learn a lesson in the most crushing way possible.
the situation has drawn up a montage of images in my head, of all the similar situations i experienced, all the suffering i've watched at the hands of these creepy fuckers, throughout my childhood, adolescence, and relatively short adult life - each image reinforcing and fueling my anger.
yeah, i'm a dweller. but next time i know to be more provocative. i'll come up with something better.
i'm going to shower and go to bed now; i gotta be up "early" (around noon) to go shopping. and run laundry. those two things are seriously high up on my priorities list for the weekend. and cleaning my apartment. i only noticed at midnight last night that the mongoose got sesame seeds EVERYWHERE, and i can almost feel the cockroaches on their way over.
Dude, take control of that anger. Violence and abuse gets to me too, in a BIG way, especially when it is directed at women. You beating the mofo up is not going to solve the problem.
ReplyDeleteSurely there are more subtle, but equally damaging ways to deal with this guy?
Get more than just even...
yeah - but i like to think of my anger as something that needs to be hardened and honed into a solid weapon. also, this guy comes from an area where might is right, and that's all these bastards understand...
ReplyDeleteas for being subtle, in this country that kind of thing is frowned upon as a weakness - and the whole point of me beating him was to demonstrate that someone who's not weak will stand against him if he behaves the way he did.
not that i don't get your point - and not that you're wrong with your intention, but it's impractical in THIS society, which happens to be a particularly macho one.
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