the headache

it's now beyond an allergy to my uniform - being on base makes me ill. it is incredible how unhappy i've become. i suddenly realized that currently the biggest demotivator is not being allowed to fix a problem that's interfering with a high-priority instruction because that instruction takes precedence. that's the kind of mentality that in my fantasy world is punishable by gratuitous violence and eternal torment.

today was mother's day - i admit i was having such a bad morning that it completely slipped my mind, and i'm really grateful that nystire happened to mention it while i was busy writing my mommy an sms. I LOVE MY MOMMY!

the responses to my video have been highly amusing, and as soon as i can cease worrying about concealing my identity (should be soon!) i'll post a link. kino sucks, by the way. i eventually used avidemux (which caused me problems last month) and it worked fine and doesn't require a degree to use.

it's possible that strong coffee followed by two bags of milk chocolate and a packet of mike and ike's was a little excessive. at least today was a cleaning day, so we finished it off with a four-player speed-super munchkin game.

i went straight to the hardware store after work, and i've now got to mix up some goo to fill the holes in the shower-tiles and clear a drain blockage. wonderful. at least i get my deposit from the previous apartment back tonight.

i cannot believe that i just invited 450 people to my apartment for a house-warming - i just couldn't be bothered to spend hours deliberating over who to invite and worrying about who's going to be offended that i forgot them... i hope only friends arrive.

*ahem* i hope friends arrive :P

the 60's has arrived already! SWEET!!!

too late! sleep!

my retarded ex-flatmate threw out a primary component of the vacuum cleaner, so there we were in the middle of a saturday afternoon rummaging through the garbage (most of it wet, sticky and rancid) to find it. i'm very, very glad that i caught that in time.

after making a couple of missions, i went to the beach for drinks with karnaf - after a rather ugly, dusty day the sunset was absolutely phenomenal! and of course, my camera's in the shop with the rest of my phone.

after a quick stop by one of ze germans to pick up my hat, i came back home so that my platoon leader from last year's jolly jaunt in the desert could bring me a small but usefully official piece of paper. then it was time to do the laundry, so i stopped by coffeeholic for a wonderful breakfast (the chef's special) on the way.

the public laundromats are difficult to use because they require a specific and rare combination of coins that the surrounding kiosks are loathe to part with. after being chucked out of the first one i managed to argue my way to the right change with the next, which kind of felt like being in the middle of a bad adventure game ploy.

i thought i'd use the laundry time productively, but instead i napped for most of it. after hanging it up, i spent a lot of time learning about uploading videos to youtube - for instance, it must be rotated before upload (unlike facebook)... so 32 megabytes later and i'm now reprocessing and re-uploading :(

shifted day

i think i may have had too much to drink last night.

at least i've done a number of things on the list, not least of which was completing the final construction (set of drawers). i called up her grandmother to wish her a happy birthday (funny, i had a strange dream about her just prior to waking up, most unusual), and i'm now off to carry the last of my things from the old flat.

oh, and the video seems to be appreciated ^_^

the afghan whigs have good music, but i'm not thrilled about the singing.

i suddenly remembered the name of the record store i used to frequent (and subsequently learned how to dj from): sphere records. apparently rob-b is still active - i wonder what happened to lee?

a fiery spiritual experience
gender roles: apparently from the 70's but that seems a little out there
duke nukem forever is dead: linked from xkcd, this page is full of interesting information and comparisons
xkcd: for firefly fans - gotta read all 5 of them, i had a really good laugh

aa@home

damn - is it past 4.30am already? gco and his girlfriend arrived about five hours ago with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of coke, i brought out the rum and we've been talking crap the entire night.

it was very nice, but there were some topics that got disquietingly serious. i'm now exhausted. and maybe a little drunk.

i decided (while under the influence) to put my video online without editing. i don't know what the potential fallout is, but i have faith that enough people will find it amusing :)

orange: it really needs mentioning

there's nothing like freshly squeezed, especially when it's at the end of a day filled with mini-accomplishments and the oranges are absolutely perfect for being raped by the fruit-fucker juiced.

turned back

i smashed all my teeth
'cause my foot wouldn't fit
then i laid down my wreath
my own coffin i lit

only i eulogize
in the strongest of terms
to escape all the lies
and then turn to the worms

i appear at a gate
that has long been abandoned
i have made a mistake
the lord was forced to rescind

i look far beyond
but there's no frolicking
there's also no torture
nor reason to sing

spider in my room

rarely seen
sudden scuttling in the corners
busied with scarcity
rarely felt
soft touch brushing my skin
a kiss to remember

going on an adventure
in her big, wide world
interminably seeking a sacred space
to haunt for all eternity

rarely seen, rarely felt
sudden scuttling in the corners
soft touch brushing my skin
busied with scarcity, a kiss to remember

(barefoot inside)

i'm almost done cleaning, it's been a bit of a mission but my apartment is looking really good! i'll put together the last set of drawers tomorrow, and then i'll be able to put away the odd bits :)

ben harper's music has lots of ups and downs for me. i put the album the will to live on and thought that it was a bit, well, lacking - but then as soon as my randomized playlist hit homeless child i started vibing with it... and then thought "meh" when i got to the title song.

doing my killing before breakfast

i had to give my phone up until monday - that sucks, no camera and i didn't write down my appointments :/

i woke up this morning and immediately gathered up all my old clothes and shoes and took them to the donation point, with a great big grin for the beautiful morning ^_^

i handed over my phone to orange - didn't take long at all - and then headed back home to put up my posters and mirror... and it wasn't difficult and didn't take very long! i'm very happy with the results :)

after a quick stop at the post office, i went past the hardware store to return the drill and help the dude test his key-cutter, then took my laundry to the old apartment but the washing machine was in use. since then i've heard that the machine broke down in the middle of the wash, so maybe that's not a bad thing.

i had breakfast at coffeeholic, a really good breakfast (as usual) spent scribbling and reading. i'm bothered a little by james hillman referring to an "LSD-high", because i don't think it's the kind of effect one can safely describe as enjoyable... but the following resonated strongly as it struck a deep nerve:

if the formation itself is off course, then the man who is really 'on course' must leave the formation
- ronald laing

pj harvey is the bomb.

nap time!

a german,

a dutchman and a south african walk into a bar... not the best of bars, but we had a pleasant evening and i'm now definitely ready (coerced by some rather expensive whiskey - must start drinking at home) for bed.

a smile for the weekend

it's a form of ecstasy, the weekend euphoria is upon me! i must admit, my jaunt through the streets wearing nothing but a towel and a shower-cap, carrying a squeaky duck, underwear and a back-scrubber might have had some effect... i'm annoyed about the editing software crashing on me, that's going to make it take a while before i can remove all the super-dumb things i said...
...i was nervous, alright?

as i turned off the camera, i heard a siren coming up the street and ducked into the building. i don't know if it was for me.

---
today was difficult, although it did have some scattered amusement. my TL seems to have an idea where my bad news is going (and i didn't actually have to say anything), and he seems resigned to whatever my future will bring. i like that, although i could be wrong.

lunch did bad things to my belly.

amongst the faffing i did actually make a little headway into my work, and i left on a relatively good note. i went straight to the bank, sorted out the first half of a standing order that i should've done weeks ago, and stopped at the hardware store for some shopping, a chat and to borrow the dude's drill. after a bit of work, i have managed to drill two neat and well-placed holes in my shower tiles and the shower-head is now above waist-height!

sweet! now to go out for a drink.

mad dead chicken skills

it's late, and it's been a long day - but after being re-reminded this morning that late nights and weekday alcohol is good for me i'm not overly concerned. nystire told me that it's because i'm south african.

jump-link to voodoo programming, which i'm apparently gifted with. i found an unbelievably incoherent solution to someone else's coding problem this morning without having a clue what was being performed :P

culture: explaining baboons and baboon behaviour to israelis, hearing my TL discussing mother's milk being sent overseas... colour me concerned O_o

i got a follow-up phone call this afternoon, and i think the person i'm communicating with "gets" what kind of person i am. i don't know how much that's going to help, but i don't feel like i'm being cast to the dogs without mercy. i think i deserve a little, i've done myself more damage than anyone else is capable of in this matter.

after a long chat with my mum and then a quick one with SxS, i got back to smiling - how is it that i can never keep the useful concepts in my head when i'm under pressure?
1) totalwaste functions better with alcohol and sleep deprivation
2) as bill hicks said: "it's just a ride"

after spending a few minutes with the hardware store dude, i hopped on a bus to meet up with some friends at the artbeat exhibition / opening performances. the photography is sterling, the performances were absolutely incredible! i was already a fan of einav jackson cohen, i'm now a big fan of tamar eisenman (intense!), i think onili's music is really fun stuff and i didn't remember just how amazing panic ensemble is - absolutely mind-blowing, inspired and thrilling!

pity my back's giving me trouble :(

big deal for the day: curtains vs. blinds. my mum and i agreed that because at some stage i'm going to rent my place out i should get curtains, but - dammit! - the blinds come in colours that just do it for me, bright greens and oranges that i think would be perfect!

k-twang was kind enough to send me a link to something i'd wear, which as i told him is kind of creepy considering the idea i had this morning. i'd share it with the rest of the world if i didn't think there was lots of money to be made with it ;)

hmm... i got rather a lot of prose out today. i might share it.

a note on dani gilboa

the man can play, the show was great! i would have enjoyed it more if i hadn't had so much trouble keeping my eyes open, i was bombed before it began and post-beer and rum & coke i was even worse... plus the music was quite hypnotic.

favourite? his own music rocks, but his hebrew cover of jimi hendrix - hey joe (hey yossi) was inspired!

i walked home, half because i didn't think anybody else would be leaving within the hour and half because i needed the fresh air, and i just got out the shower and am about to hit the sack.

post-meeting in particular, but for the last couple of weeks in general i've been thinking a lot about the last few years and how they've affected me.
i've been driven up the wall, and i need to reset.
i'm annoyed with this morning's conversation because i missed the opportunity (like most people, i always think better after it's no longer relevant) to respond to the question: "why on earth would you do that?!" with "because if you don't take risks, you may as well be dead".

a pity.

it's like i wasn't there

nope, still really, really tired. at least i've had blood samples taken so i'll know in a bit if i've really stressed myself out this much.

i called tech-support this morning for the router (pronounced ROOTer, for all of my americanized readers) and was informed that i'm the only person who's complained that their hours make it necessary to take a day off if there's a problem.

the Big Dreaded Meeting was... unfortunate. for the moment i can only say that i've well and truly screwed myself, and that i'm going to pay for my stupidity. i just don't know yet how much. i've begun preparing for the worst, which is sadly highly probable.

i got to base, talked to my mum, had lunch and went back to work. aside from being tired and unfocused the last couple of weeks, my current project sucks and i've become apathetic. i guess i'm just stressed and unhappy in general.

james hillman's re-visioning psychology is terrific, i just wish my latest downturn wasn't preventing me from getting into it properly.

i picked up my monitor on the way home - how did i manage without an lcd at home until now?!

i visited the hardware store, the guy there's helping out both me and his neighbour who sells curtains and blinds by being our go-between - he's a swell dude :)

i went to the old apartment a couple of times to run laundry and transfer, spent too much time with the router and was then honoured with a visit by sammy - it was really good to see him again and it was, of course, nice to be able to show off the pad ^_^

sammy was good enough to drop me off at the "picture theatre", where my neighbours going to be performing in a minute or two... i'm very impressed that i made it :)

another interminable nap

i didn't go out drinking last night, i woke up at 10pm and decided that it would be a really bad idea to leave the apartment in that state :/

so i watched an episode of battlestar galactica instead, started an ubuntu upgrade (done), and went back to sleep.

i'm actually surprised to find myself as nervous as i am. i've already screwed everything up, but even damage mitigation is stressful. is today the first day of the rest of my life?

i have frank zappa talking in the background - kinda makes me feel like i'm watching those rejected bitter films randoms. maybe i should listen.

indie on the move is a great concept!

come on in! the water's fine!

towel-rail: solid (and just the right length!)
water-pressure: great
shower-head: in need of an upgrade, but usable
leaks: none
drainage: not great, might be blocked

not only did i have a pleasantly hot shower now, even after shaving this morning and the geyser is only set for fifteen minutes (the minimum amount) per day (pre-shave), but the installation of the towel rail took all of two minutes. very cool 8).

i received no instructions with the blood tests, so i'm going out drinking tonight in preparation for tomorrow's Big Grill: i'm answering that call.---
it bothers me that tech-support for my router is sunday - thursday, 9am - 5pm. let's assume that the usual issues with a router - like, say, your net connection going down at 2am - are not comfortably dealt with by this company. suck.

this is the puzzle from this morning

still exhausted

i'm going tomorrow for blood tests, i'm afraid of the possibility that being this tired constantly is physical illness and not simply spiritual fatigue.

i just put down the deposit for my first lcd monitor (of my very own), and am about to call tech support to see if they can sort out my router - i figured it's a good idea to post before that happens :P

negotiations over - the 60's is on its way to me ^_^

a couple of us played super-munchkin over lunch today, which is a start. the other fun bit of the day was the riddle, not too complicated but very frustrating nonetheless (i didn't understand the rules at first, and came up with very funny solutions).

the sandstorm* today was insane. going outside was masochistic, and i made the mission to the hairdresser only to discover that his foot's hurt so he couldn't work today...
today was mostly pointless work-wise, or at least not very fruitful, and i think the highlight was being called by the student authority (4.5 years later) for a telephonic interview to see how my absorption's going.
i'll only find out tomorrow, but i decided to be positive nonetheless ;)

i just let a spider into my apartment through the only possible entrance / exit - and it promptly disappeared. bugger.

* i was reminded of an 80's movie with travellers being eaten by some weird creature that lived in the sandstorm. anyone know what i'm remembering?

the mall is my church

we have a stairwell cow: i stepped out of the pad, skirted around the sofa that's been blocking the entrance to my digs for days, and some woman from upstairs climbed into me about how terrible it is and how i need to move it out.

i explained that i was trying to, and that i was, in fact, on my way to see someone about it - this was true, i was off to get my newly-ex'ed flatmate to help me carry it over there. she proceeded to stress that it's unacceptable, and that it needs to be moved out within the week.

i didn't like her tone, and i like her even less.

hauling the couch was serious exercise, but it's done and that's one less headache - assuming, of course, that my neck wasn't harmed in the process :P

after a long chat with my mum, i hit the shower for hopefully the last time and then came back home to get stuck into internet consumerism.
as i said earlier, i bought the wonder years box set. i then discovered that there's no such thing, and i managed to get a refund. i'd rather have had the box set. as a replacement, i went hunting for the 60's, which is no longer being produced and is therefore quite expensive. i found a set on ebay for a [relatively] decent price, but now we're in staggered negotiations over shipping. so i bought forrest gump to satisfy my need for immediate gratification.

and now for bed.

false-hope joanna

dammit! a girl named joanna was going to buy the sofa, and i forgot to call her until i got home... too late, she'd found something cheaper. crud.

the rest of the afternoon didn't improve, and when shuttle-time came around we all scrambled. once i got home it was straight out the door again to do some shopping.

it's dusty, icky and i have bugs plastered all over me and up my nose.

i've just been on a mission to produce transparent pvc stickers for my entrance mirror, spare dvd covers (boy, did i drive them crazy) and on the way picked up a couple of stylish magnets (i won't put any old trash on my fridge!) and sorted out the towel rail. now i just have to install that so i can clean myself up.
i also looked at lcd monitors, i think i'm going to need to upgrade soon.

ugh... i've been bitten all over :S

so i *just* bought the box set of the wonder years (i've had joe cocker's voice in my head now for almost an hour), and i almost bought a monitor online but then thought better of it. i prefer to deal with my neighbourhood store.

yay! a number of people have successfully downloaded mighty mouse - the great space chase! and of course i'm still the only seeder. wonderful :/

for all the fans: an interesting susan boyle perspective

eyelid strain

i'm once again forced to consume extreme quantities of caffeine in order to function - am i still sick? or just sick of this place? or was lunch really as bad as it tasted?

as it was, i arrived late this morning (my ride had an eventful morning) and that afforded me the opportunity to have a relaxed breakfast... but not a relaxed day :(

i've spent a lot of the afternoon on hold or receiving crappy service (actually, "bitter" may be the more appropriate word) and that's turned today into another "i'm not overly-fond of israelis" day.