a little more blood

something reminded me that i really want to see monotonix perform.

i watched another two episodes of being human, and did some shopping in between so i could eat before passing out. i was so tired that i didn't have the energy to wait at the meat counter :P

this sniper prank just goes way beyond any practical joke boundaries. poor bastard.

i have to wait another five days to see yael deckelbaum again - it's been too long :)

350!

only more like a marathon :)

instead of doing 35 symbolic kilometres, we took a wrong turn and pushed it to 43. the funny bit was that i struggled so much for the first 30km, and the last bit saw me getting my wind back and thinking i could do it again!

waking up at stupid o'clock on a non-work morning was a bit difficult, i just couldn't get it together and i was one of the last to arrive at the cinemateque :/
the ride there was fantastic, though - the streets were clear and the morning beautiful, with a wonderful breeze. the bus ride didn't give me much opportunity to nap, though, as we were all being very school-tour-ish.

i had a good laugh when i woke up the guy behind me as we arrived in beit shemesh. he asked me who i was, and i told him - i wasn't as surprised as he was because i'd already overheard that we share the same name, and he thought i was having him on :P

getting prepped for the actual run was strange - everything through a haze of sleepiness and the incredulous state of "am i really about to do this? i trained hard yesterday and the day before" :S

the uphills were killer, the downhills great, the group was a lot of fun, there was a point to it all... the sense of achievement was palpable. i really didn't feel bad that i missed helping the neighbour because i had to eat and shower - i had cereal for breakfast, a pastry when we began and an energy bar about halfway, and i needed just a *little* bit more than that... [yeah, i did have coffee and an energy drink, too]

amusing incident: on the coolest downhill, a policewoman took an interest in us and demanded that we remove our rollerblades and walk until the highway.
yeah, right.
when she eventually realized that that wasn't going to happen, she took to screaming at us to stay on the shoulder of the road - was she that bored?! i think i heard her telling someone to keep his balance, i'm not sure if that meant she was developing a sense of humour or not.

realization dawned on me: the last few weeks i've been suffering from a stuffed nose and a weird chemical smell, and that smell bothered me while on the road. it's the first time i've been able to pinpoint it as being a sensory problem and not something external - i'm fairly certain the el-cheapo [i didn't realize it wasn't my brand until it was home and opened] toilet paper that i bought and use as tissue is the source.

the orange juice at the end was the best i've ever tasted :)
i did sleep on the bus back - unfortunately i awoke with stiff legs and a hurting neck. there were plans for a bunch of us to mission to the port for lunch and a beer, but then people started disappearing and i did that at my place, alone, instead. while watching the rest of final fantasy: advent children (incredible! but last night i passed out in the middle), and i've just watched the pilot and episode one of being human, which is absolutely exquisite - although i have to admit, i prefer both the ghost and laura from the pilot.

a day of ugliness

i didn't sleep particularly well, and i had trouble with the shiatsu pillow - it requires another person to assist with placement :/

after double-checking the flyer design and taking care of a little finishing, i stopped in at the art centre next door (a very interesting exhibit, i'm glad i carried on past the stuff at the entrance that really didn't speak to me) and went for my usual morning book 'n breakfast relaxation.

---
right - the day was defined by an extremely distasteful incident that was violent and completely unnecessary. the brass monkey irritant was at coffeeholic this morning, and although i do my friday breakfast there to prepare for training i don't actually want to spend it discussing, well, training.

unfortunately, this idiot was in the zone - he badgered me the entire time with all sorts of "do you know"s and tried repeatedly to get me to let him demonstrate cool tricks to disable an opponent. when i ignored him to dig into my food, he just kept on going. because i know he's around sometimes and i don't actually want to make things awkward at my watering hole, i just let him keep going and tried to focus on enjoying the chef's beef parisian.

just after i finished, he began demonstrating a stance - the chef walked up, and with a smile on his face limbered up and got into a similar stance. playfight? alright. no problems there.

a couple of blocks later, and our hero (the idiot, in case my sarcasm misses its mark) performed a fairly standard block / attack, smacking the chef hard and squarely on the noggin. it may have been open handed, but what i haven't mentioned is that captain retard is a friggin' tank, he's massive (not fat, he's a builder by trade) and he's spent most of his life doing various martial arts (hence the enthusiasm).

the two of them carried on, and it was unclear at that point how serious they were. when he got the chef in a hold the chef pushed him back a few metres, and suddenly our "gentle" giant picked him up and slammed him on the ground, trapping his head under his knee.

regardless of whether these big boys were playing or not, i started shouting at the gorilla to stop: he'd already proved whatever it is he had to prove and the fight was over. i thought he'd listened, because after a second he took his leg up...

the chef made to get back up, and this complete bastard viciously punched him right back down. it happened so fast that all of us were left staring slack-jawed, he swaggered back up to me and immediately began trying to make light of what had happened, making out that he was justified because the chef had attacked him.

the chef was in a bad way - i just discovered now that magen david adom (the israeli equivalent of the red cross) sent him to the hospital in an ambulance... after he reassured me that he was handling (as best as can be expected) and i saw that the other staff were taking care of him, i angrily tried to explain to señor psychopath that he'd done something wrong. i realized i was wasting my time, he'd already convinced himself of an alternate reality wherein he was the wronged party.

i'll be glad to bear witness for the chef, i'm really upset by the whole story because he had no way of knowing what he was up against and he really didn't deserve what happened. i actually feel partially responsible, for not getting the asshole off my back before :(
i mean, i made it clear afterwards that i don't want anything to do with him, but it's definitely too little, too late.

---
i came back home, got ready for training and was caught by a neighbour in need of assistance with moving tomorrow. of course, tomorrow i won't be around (350) for most of the day and the evening is too late for her, but i told her i'll try to help if i can. i got a knowing look when a really pretty neighbour walked in and i greeted her - i need to hang around outside more often :P

after a social queueing experience for the atm, i got a quote for the flyers (decent prices, and for once i used the right size and quality for what i need) and had an interesting jawbone planning session with a much sweeter girl than the last time.

another social queueing - i offended someone while trying to be helpful, but the others around us helped me settle things down - for a bottle of coke (i really needed it, the morning's event stressed me out physically as well as emotionally), then i went downstairs for a training session that actually saw me getting hurt: i just couldn't keep my mind in the right place during the fighting.

it's weird leaving friday training when it's already dark. i'm going to shower, have dinner, watch a movie and then get ready for tomorrow's blading. and i'm going to try to deal with what happened today. i'm sure the chef is going to be watching the replay for a while - that's way worse than any physical damage. i still get upset when i think of the last time i took a beating.

they made me cry

i have *just* finished the taekwondo flyer design, and i'm rather proud of it :)

topic of the day:
in the last five years at least, the only times i've cried have been in really sad movies. for all the rest, i've wanted to, but couldn't. today i cried for myself, for my frustration and my anguish and my sense of hopelessness.

today, i failed again. and again, while telling the truth. the difference is that this time it started off great - i cruised through the first round of questioning and didn't skip a beat. after that, i don't know what happened.

the guy who tested me actually impressed me - primarily because he listened and could be brought to understand (a little) how important phrasing is with me. i have to admit, after the test i was really impatient with him - after a couple of times that i cut him short he really let me have it, and that was about when the little-boy-who-needs-his-blankie inside of me cut loose.

i thought i'd need a drink after that, but a good coffeeholic lunch and coffee (shouldn't have, i couldn't sleep afterwards and i needed the siesta) over re-visioning psychology (i've gotten through a lot today, it seems to be a good day for sinking in^ʢ and i've enjoyed it), and an episode of the big bang theory plus a pseudo-nap had me ready for taekwondo.

training was great - my body seems to be getting used to the stress of stretching and i pushed it pretty far. i think i got a little taller, this evening :P
afterwards, the organizer of last wednesday's game (scrapper) invited me for dinner (he was giving me a ride towards tel aviv anyway), and we had a very interesting talk. or set of talks, we kept switching topic. i caught a bus home (walking off it completely caught up in tool - 10,000 days), and after showering got straight to work. in silence. i'm in a weird mood.

also, i've eaten a lot of cookies tonight.

^ʢ note to self:
i woke up this morning
held in jung's strong arms
with a worn-out hamilton
contorted in mine

after a night with hillman
who forced himself on me
it's a socially painful awakening
after so long, so fraudulently isolated
in a room full of distorted mirrors
and cheap tricks to keep me lost

i can only blame myself
for entering the labyrinth
my cocksure curiosity
and relentless self-goading

but i am glad to have gleaned the insight:
to always turn right

---
i did say i'd fill in yesterday's blanks:

* door smack reminder
on tuesday, i was leaving the base bus, the left door was jammed and some idiot was blocking the right one. in order to get out of the right side, i had to skirt around him... and as i did so the left door violently unjammed, hitting me really hard in the arm. i carried on walking, registering the contact with surprise after a few steps.

* temporary fix, glued fingers, too late for the weather
i put my glasses together again, and amusingly enough the weather had improved to the point where i didn't need them. i only discovered when i got to base that i had dried glue on my hands - luckily nothing else :P

* missing buses
if i hadn't spent more than thirty seconds looking up a letter in my japanese dictionary (and no, not for anything reasonable), i wouldn't have missed both - and the only - buses that i needed. that sucked.

* gift appreciation
kc's mother called to thank me for the shiatsu pillow - i'm well pleased that she's happy with it ^_^

* the ambulance issue(s)
a couple of months ago i had an upsetting issue with medical fees - the army refused to pay them and i received threats that i'd be sued. i unhappily forked over the cash, and that was that. a few days ago i received another warning, for the same amount, for the same event. or so i thought. it turned out, after much unhappy telephony and extremely unhelpful people, that the fees i paid two months ago were for last year's ambulance - during the entire debacle, nobody had corrected me when i talked about this year's emergency ward visit.

unbelievable. the funny thing is, last year i was in a course, and i was told by the army medical that they would pay the fees automatically, and that i didn't have to worry about anything. they didn't file the report, and now i have to claim back the payment and pass it on to the army.

i really shouldn't have to be making all this effort. and i shouldn't have to be stressing about being sued, either.

* japanese pseudo-buddy
the girl in my section who i have trouble communicating with? she knows a fair amount of japanese - i didn't realize she'd actually taken a course. i think i've managed to get her to enunciate a bit, so hopefully that'll help me improve mine :)

* on health and climate
i find it incredible - i find it incredible every time - that my health is largely affected by the current weather. i felt absolutely dreadful during the heatwave / dust-storm, and the second it cleared up i felt fine again!

* gentle rinse
one of the girls in our unit was promoted, and although we don't usually celebrate girls' ranks like we do the guys (tying them up and drenching them with buckets of water / rotten food / old milk), for this one we made an exception. a few of us, with no prior communication, had appeared in her office conspicuously wielding a bottle of water to congratulate her. she was getting freaked out, and everyone interested spontaneously gathered in the hallway outside...
one of the guys convinced her that it was in her own interests to risk leaving the safety of her sanctum, and we managed to trap her and drench her without any physical contact.

she was a bit upset with me... the water i threw on her was very, very cold }:)

* paper waste
apparently, i've managed to remove myself from a bunch of mailing lists that bring each permanent forcer a monthly pile of waste paper. i've already been asked to pass the details along - perhaps we can make a difference ^_^

* guest flyer-ing
one of the girls from our unit (the one who appears to have a crush on me) came over to my place because we were both going to visit my ex-team-mate and we wanted to buy a house-warming gift together. i had to work on the flyer design, and she proved very helpful. it's always good to have a fresh pair of eyes :)

* fondue shopping
the shopping was fun - not fun was controlling myself and *not* buying for my pad. we found an excellent fondue set, and i had a good laugh at the girl who "helped" us. she was not only clueless, but treated the other customers with awkward disdain.

---
i'm definitely training again later, tomorrow's the 350 (for me, joining a mass blade through the desert), and tomorrow night's gaming night (two confirmed, we'll see what *really* happens), so i should probably be in bed.

from the guardian - a quick and correct take on the goldstone report

surface d&d - very cute

boat behind is a very sweet video :)

i'm back to watching the big bang theory, and just discovered that we both wear fruit fucker shirts ^_^

the path sounds very good - i didn't read it all because it seems a bit spoiler-ish, but the concept is brilliant. and educational.

it's *NOT* my birthday!

the most important item first: the hebrew production of a midsummer night's dream was mind-blowing: beautiful, inspired, and seriously convincing! the acting and choreography were magnificent, and the production was seriously slick. it was also superbly situated. i didn't even know the tmuna theatre sported a real one, hidden in the back and boasting a really authentic atmosphere ^_^

it was a bit rough following the hebrew - the translation wasn't direct and i was quite impressed by the liberties that were taken and how they maintained the playwright's style . the interesting thing was hitting a shakespeare play that i'm not at all familiar with in a high level of a language that i'm not totally fluent in and still thoroughly enjoying it and getting everything. damn. yeah!

a pity that we finished off in a restaurant whose style i don't like (i compared it out loud to another one that i didn't fancy, and the waitress crept over to chirp that it has the same owners). the guys enjoyed my cringing at the loudness and clapping so much that they convinced our waitress that it was my birthday... bastards!

i'll transfer the rest of my day to a new post, right now i have to focus on sleeping enough before another Big Day. i hope i can chill this time.

* door smack reminder
* temporary fix, glued fingers, too late for the weather
* missing buses
* gift appreciation
* the ambulance issue(s)
* japanese pseudo-buddy
* on health and climate
* gentle rinse
* paper waste
* guest flyer-ing
* fondue shopping

the chop

i got to base around lunchtime, and the day had developed into the height of its dustiness, sliminess and unbearable brightness (dammit, i need sunglasses!). i force-fed myself, while staring into nothingness and contemplating the earlier irritations, then slowly made my way to my office.

i got my hair cut today. at least i can count the maximum number of army cuts i have left.

i didn't have any coffee this afternoon, but i made up for the lack of external energy with sugar.

i spoke to my mum, and then wr came over for a visit, for a couple of very enjoyable hours. i haven't seen him in a while, and it's been too long since i've spoken to someone on such a similar level :)

i had barely enough time to stuff a sandwich down my throat and get my blades on, but i made it before the group left tonight. it was a good group, and a brilliant route!

two issues:
1. my blades have been hurting me the last couple of weeks, and i don't know what i'm doing differently.
2. there's a stunning russian girl who's usually very distant (or with what appears to be a giant boyfriend), and she sat down next to me this evening... in silence. in retrospect, i should've said something, but i thought about it too long and i just got awkward. dammit.

we went through a religious town, and there were lots of police giving us shit most of the way. those of us at the front missed a bit of action, apparently :P

thoughts for the day:
1. our instructor loved the flyers, now i have to finish them so they can roll out
2. on the other side of the same coin, i've decided to see what i can do about reducing snail-mail spam. i need to get in touch with a member of parliament, apparently.

what else could possibly...? shit.

it all began alright, the meeting was fairly smooth and i managed to get into civvies, take passport photos and find the embassy in reasonable time.

i thought renewing would be a simple process, and i was wrong. i need to provide a bunch of details i don't have, and be fingerprinted to apply for an id document i don't need (no computers here, so everything's from scratch).

frustrated, i went back home to change, grabbed the mail and hopped on the bus.

i'm absolutely mortified - the hospital is unaware that i've paid the fees (to the claims company, for may). now i have to prove that i got the receipt - why does everything in this country have to be an ordeal??

i couldn't get hold of the oakley importer, so i called the directory enquiry service assuming that i had the wrong number. they couldn't get me the right one, but were nice enough to put me through to someone who'd never heard of oakleys before.

"who are you?"
"a potential customer"
"what do you want?"
"oakleys"
"oh-clees?"

these are not the droids i was looking for.

prioritizing

good heavens! it's quite late! i can't believe i've been up working on taekwondo flyers.

i've now caught up with the series, and it's better than the last season. it's a giant pity that i didn't spent any time on the game :/

at least i can wake up late, today's a quick meeting with the man in the suit and then a hop to renew my passport :)

like tank girl

another day without water. cute dust-storm, wonderful furnace-like heat and fantastic breathability. and of course, work was fun. [well, to be fair, the work itself was interesting, just the conditions sucked]

all i needed was another of my ride's bright comments - this morning he annoyed me by arguing over bus lines that he's unfamiliar with, and trying so hard to make fun of me that he (hello, cognitive dissonance) just couldn't get what i was trying to explain. i'd give up, but i don't have what it takes.

a similar occurrence with the idiot girl that's been on my case - she brought a new kid to our lunch table and tried to show him what an idiot i am for dreaming. fortunately, the others at the table provided a counter and allowed me to defend my ideas critically; while not everyone agrees with it being the right way, nobody thinks it's entirely foolish.

that reminds me: ion drive in the news :)

i think my physiotherapist asked me to arrive earlier just so she could see me in uniform :P
whatever it is she did, things are still hurting but definitely feeling looser. she gave me another couple of exercises, and told me i should come back on wednesday.

ignoring the fact that i enjoy the sessions, they also provide me with a human hour of getting shit done. today's was spent getting the cash to renew my passport tomorrow, trading in universal soldier: the return and the tank girl vhs for the thirteenth floor, purchasing a shiatsu-pillow, art-supply shopping (mostly for the game), discovering that i can trade in my laundered ipod for a 25% discount on a new one*, finding the local distributor for oakley's*... i mean, wow. i can't usually do any of that.

* neither of which can be bought from their online stores. which sucks, because oakley's allow awesome customization and i could've etched the ipod...

i just got back from regular shopping, and have decided not to go rollerblading tonight. i'm going to watch how i met your mother (because i've been told that i have to) and prepare for the game.

i think i like carusella

here's our SC

a trivial pursuit

wow - i can't believe i just watched what amounted to the most insane waste of time: happiness. it's like the result of what would happen if you gave one uninspired, sexually frustrated director a big budget and a time limit.

"one of the 25 most dangerous movies of all time"??? you mean, people have been bored to death?! i vote it "one giant suck".

searing, aggravating

the heat wave continued, getting worse. today had the feel of radiated caprica, and someone damaged the water mains so we were dry until the last hour.

my ride let me know that we've been miscommunicating for the last few months - our "agreed", "regular" time has been upgraded to 15 minutes later, explaining why i'm always rushing to be early :/
to make things more interesting, we had another fight about fun things being allocated specific ages. his take: nobody older than 12 should be watching zombie movies. i can't take it!!

i had a huge lunch. considering the fact that i was exhausted, had just consumed shit coffee and had just suffered half an hour walking through the sludgy, superheated air, eating a lot wasn't a good idea. i just felt worse and worse until we eventually (after a shopping round) got back to the office, where i passed out for not nearly long enough :(

the question of the day: "is a golden handshake like a golden shower"? that brought to mind two men, instead of spitting on their hands to seal a deal, pissing on them. eww.

the conversation with nystire took a decidedly interesting turn on the way back - i wait with baited breath for my release to see how much we really have in common.

i began putting stickers in japanese around my desk, and it feels like it's working :)

i managed to do something productive before leaving, and got a ride to tel aviv at the last minute (as in, i stepped off the shuttle). the foolish girl who keeps fighting with me was in the car, our time together was precious as always :S

the walk to the gym and back was draining, and the red bull wore off halfway (turning me decidedly sour), but i have my dobok (uniform) back. i've just showered, and am going to relax with a movie... i don't know if i'll have enough energy to see my ex-neighbour perform tonight.

a hearty celebration

it wasn't much of a traditional coffeeholic experience. a few of the regulars were there, but they were enthusiastically involved in a private gathering, i couldn't focus on what i was doing [trying to plan monday night's game], and when the chef arrived he informed me that he'd forgotten my discs again.

i could deal with that, but i suddenly got really, really tired. i came home to crash for half an hour, then got up and dressed and made my way to my her mother's 50th. i got there early, as usual :P

the music was fantastic the whole night, the food was great. i managed to consume a bit too much alcohol, with depressive effect :/ [and i learned that rum and bitter lemon isn't a good combination, the rum's taste just disappears]

i got a ride early, which was still late by my standards. i hate having to wake up pre-sunrise :(
we had a really passionate debate in the car on the way home, concerning the general populace's lack of interest discovering music. as i've said before, i just want people to know they have a choice.

standard saturday

i've just cleaned my apartment [totalwaste:1, button-spider look-alike 0], sorted out papers, and rotated my wheels. i even played a couple of rounds of tekken, and found the case for my ipod - i'm making a little coffin for it.

what i didn't do was work on the list for my insurance. and i'm not going to today, i'm just not in the mood.

instead, i've just watched the first episode of full metal alchemist over beer and marmite, and now i'm off for the coffeeholic saturday experience .

mike's dm'ing is inspiring, but i don't have the talent, the time or the resources. i do, however, have an idea for using bits of felt and prestik :P

drakan

i'm feeling a bit giddy - mostly motion sickness. the game works, but my machine isn't a very strong performer so it gets a tad choppy. regardless, i forgot how awesome a game drakan is!

slightly off the mark

lol@self, i can't believe i woke up for a party that took place a week ago. that'll teach me to double-check the dates :$
at least i won't be suffering from a bangover when i wake up...

instead i watched zombieland on zenstar's recommendation: AWESOME! best zombie movie, hands-down ^_^

since i had a cup of coffee and a beer during the movie, i haven't gone to sleep yet... i've spent almost two hours online, and i'm considering trying to get drakan up and running. i'm a masochist, apparently :P

from nystire: the office and the outlook it presents. very interesting, and i'm not dissatisfied with where i fit in.

grootbek has finally linked to something decent: the knux are pretty damn funky. one of ze germans linked through to gossip-heavy cross, which is one of the most styling videos i've seen in a while, and then he made my evening with a super-cool snow video trailer.

i think we can learn a different lesson from this noah coincidence (from the word "coincide", not intended to indicate inherent luck by any means. of course), and that is that we need to build an ark and load it for ejection into space ASAP.

isn't it amazing that making the mundane fun can be useful?

over-exercised, but eventually fed

i was up until about 3am scribbling about the open source project - i was so tired the words were pouring out like set jelly :P

i woke up with a sore, gunked up throat and my phone ringing - my cousin from the kibbutz got back to me after i called her yesterday. i'd meant to get up anyway, but my capacity for chat was suffering a slow start-up... i started the day by producing a potential flyer for our taekwondo group, then broke for coffeeholic for breakfast.

the breakfast was great, i enjoyed getting back into hillman, and karnaf joined me after a while and we sat and chatted until i had to get ready for training. i wasn't really feeling up for training, but what the heck :P

training itself was hardcore - a more extreme version of last night's, and last night caused me to bite back tears. there was a point today at which i managed to move back into sitting position from a stretch, and actually struggled to regain control over my contorted facial muscles. this all happened *after* i managed to put my neck out completely... again... it's been a gods-darn month already!

moment: our instructor has a thing about throwing her camera at people. usually as a surprise. i made a save today that not only shocked me, but got everyone else applauding and cheering as well - a bit later, i had to make a simpler one, which didn't go so well (she'd left the lens out, and i caught it at an angle... at least it works again).

i broke at 4.45pm, leaving in time (i thought i was in time) for the rollerblading group (and in my hurry leaving behind my uniform and shirt. i hope they don't get moldy before i rescue them). when i was informed that it was leaving in twenty-three minutes, i had to *run* home in order to have a hope. when i arrived, i discovered that my informant had written negative twenty-three. i figured it was possible for him to be mistaken (he wasn't), so i put on my blades (still breathing heavily and sweating profusely from the run) and scrambled to the park.

i asked a random bystander (a mom whose kid was blading) if she'd seen the group, and she nodded to the parking lot... i could barely make out a set of wheels in the dark. i ran up to discover a couple of people i'm familiar with, but not the sunset group i was looking for. they were "drafting", essentially slipstreaming for long-distance rollerbladers. this was better than nothing, i figured, so i joined them. that turned out to be a really good idea: we worked hard, but my job was to stare at the really cute girl's ass (the one who read us poetry a few weeks ago) for an hour in order to sync with her.

can't complain.

we got back to the park just before the sunset group, and we hung around for about a quarter-hour chatting and hearing horror stories (and seeing horror videos, one of the guys videotaped his prince-albert being inserted. i couldn't watch more than a few seconds, staring at his penis wondering when the action would begin just didn't rank high on my list of things to do). the group began to dissemble, and i rolled back home at high speed. it took me a while to cool down enough to take a shower, and i've just come back from having a mean sandwich at cafeneto while reading wired. this month's issue has some very interesting points to make, specifically concerning risk, prisons, autism and bureaucracy management.

now i need to sleep before tonight's crazy 17-year alternative line party.

NOOOOOOOOOO!! not my ipod!!!

*cries*

i just opened up my washing machine to find my poor ipod inside :'(

this doesn't give me enough faith

sore leg, other sore leg...

i got to wake up a little later than usual this morning (a little after 6am), but the extra sleep didn't help me and i had to drag myself out of bed. i celebrated last night's mythbustingly good news by having a snickers for breakfast.

the morning began with a Very Important Meeting: we were all called in to watch a video about factory bottlenecks. i commented afterwards that when our bottlenecks exist in a virtual space, being instructed to sit around watching movies about stuff that most of us know already (and is mostly irrelevant for us anyway) points a giant finger at our section's tiniest bottleneck: our SC.
interestingly, nobody stood up for him, and my TL is usually the big defender.

today's primary workload (my secondary project) was challenging, frustrating and satisfying.
re-designing stuff that i didn't think through, and trying to incorporate it into the current codebase incrementally is no a simple task. realizing just how inefficient and inelegant my quick-fix tacked-on procedural mess became is shameful. seeing my new designs fitting in smoothly and correctly is extremely pleasing.

the rest of the day was dedicated to qa - fortunately, predominantly my own and with a little prompting and tweaking from my TL my testing documents have become good enough to turn a mountainous task into a breeze :)

i got a ride to the entrance to petach tikva, falling asleep on the way and waking up totally out of it. it took me a while to find the station, but the bus arrived with a minute of my getting there so that was fine. a short walk from the bus took me to training...

training was rough. today was a stretching day, and i haven't experienced one of those in a very, very long time. my body went into panic fairly quickly, and i would've told myself to "man up" if i hadn't been feeling particularly unmanly (possibly due to being so tired). i did the forms in slow-motion.

i watched another episode of battlestar galactica on the bus back, showered, tried to figure out a way to the party, failed, and went to ze sushi for dinner instead. the meal was excellent as usual, the chef and i talked so much that i didn't get to open my book (i'm attempting hillman again), and i've just arrived back to see if i can get anything productive done or get some rest instead.

i just pulled the terranoise album out of my mailbox ^_^

intrigue!

i have a lot to learn.
i came up with a good plan, and we've begun a pirate adventure :)

nice kids, i can see there'll be a lot of munchkinning, but i'm more interested in familiarizing myself with the role of on-the-fly storyteller and keeper of the plot device. also, i don't think there's a better way to get a grip on the damn rules :P

apparently i remind one of the guys of gerard butler.

two girls in two strolls

waking up this morning wasn't too rough, although sleeping on the shuttle didn't do my neck any good.

i walked in to discover that my TL has changed his surname. i have trouble reading certain names, and the others found my getting the pronunciation wrong absolutely hysterical...

i was supposed to go to the range today, but i wasn't prepared so they let me off the hook. for the moment. the man in the suit called me, too, and next week will hopefully be decisive. i think i've wished for that before :/

i spent a lot of the day worrying about diabetes... i'm going to make an appointment to see the doctor and get tested. i wanted to ask at the clinic if i could get tested without an appointment (a yes/no answer), and the ars who'd arrived before me got upset that i'd pushed in the line when he was busy being dealt with.
he's right. i should've at least asked. i'm getting too used to this sort of behaviour :(
[maybe i shouldn't be so concerned?]

i spent today struggling with my demons - demon entangled procedural code. once i got the design sorted out, things started going smoothly, and i finished off the day having finished one of the more important classes cleanly.

i didn't know that c# doesn't do typedefs. it's irritating writing out templates of templates and forgetting which ones means what. typedefs are important.

i passed out for a short while in the afternoon, and came to just in time for birthday cake. some of the guys were bored, and began pushing me over whether it's really "orientated" or if "oriented" is the right word. they "proved" it by bringing two thick books with the incorrect spelling. i could deal with the silliness, but one idiot (the guy from yesterday with the inability to whisper) decided to have a go at me, and he claimed that he's a native english speaker. he's as native in english as i am in dutch. about five minutes of excessively pointless argument later, and i walked out of there to hear from someone else that he's a generally annoying person who nobody should argue with :P

the village idiot and i sent out a really amusing email this afternoon - my unit spam's quality is improving :P

...

something's going well - i picked up my picture, which came out really nicely this time, and went past coffeeholic to say hi to the guy i went to the party with. a cute american-israeli girl was there, and we got to talking... she said she'd call me as i rushed off to get ready for tonight's gaming.

on the way back from emergency supply shopping, i walked past a really pretty girl struggling with a sixpack of water... of course i offered her a hand (on condition she was going my way :P), and the walk was very pleasant :)

i've just tidied everything up, and now i'm waiting for the party to arrive.

where's the kitty?

i forget all the important stuff :$

yesterday, as i was getting off the bus, one of the passengers near the door turned to face me - a girl wearing cat make-up. we looked at each other, and she started making faces at me, so of course i made a face or two back.

the problem is that i'm not supposed to do stuff like that in uniform, and once i got off the bus i started wondering if maybe she was just a figment of my imagination.

i had been listening to one of frozen ghost's more insane tracks at the time; the experience put me in a very strange headspace :p

feels like i'm falling

i suddenly remembered the falling nightmare - i'm not terrified, just a little irritated.

the first fall was caused on the last leg home, some idiot in front of me turned around and stopped, while there was traffic on my left and i was going way too fast to stop. i came out of it alright, but annoyed. at least he apologized.

the second fall occurred because i switched to the north side of the road to get away from uneven and bothersome paving, and couldn't see that the shopkeepers had not only covered the pavement in suds, but managed to fill half the road as well. i really fell on my ass, and while i'm lucky to have missed a roasty it was a bit of a shock.

the group was really interesting today: we had a photo shoot for some international billboards (apparently we're gonna be on broadway - anyone who notices the guy in the orange... that's me), and i met some rather interesting people.

the irony about the two falls tonight is that they're not related to the fact that i began playing again for the first time in over a decade - coasting in the splits, weaving and jumping and hitting silly speeds for urban limitations ;)

night terror

nothing like waking up in the middle of the night, choking on what appeared to be the effect of reactivated cilia (my nose was blocked when i went to bed, so i used a spray) and wondering if i was going to make it. i've just flicked through a copy of a pop-up book of nightmares at the mall, and my post-dream reality was worse than the traditional ones :/

that was the last late wake-up for the week, and that makes me kinda sad.

...

after an awkward discussion this morning, i'm left wondering what kinds of things israelis get incarcerated for. the prevailing attitude where i was is that incarceration in this country is generally hypothetical, and that doesn't sit with me as i know someone (not a friend, though) who did quite a bit of time...

nystire called me back, we seem to understand each other concerning his sister, and with regards the rest of the week he left me with instructions that were surprisingly simple to carry out :)

the lecturer arrived really late this morning, which meant lots of minesweeper and solitaire after catching up on news and comics :P
when he did start the day, he may as well have been talking to the wall. he just rambled on and on, and i don't think i would have noticed when he eventually tackled the point. apparently i got everything, though - i ended up helping the others when it was time to sit on the exercises :P

the two guys behind me were incapable of whispering. incapable of understanding the concept of whispering. "lowering your voice" is not the same, because the bass carries and that's more annoying than just talking normally :S

i was forced into a strong cup of coffee - my system was crashing and i had no choice. it took another two cups to get me through the afternoon, and i think that may be a part of the reason i'm exhausted now. and we seriously over-ate at lunchtime.

on the way back from lunch, i ran into someone i worked and studied with many years ago, whose .net project i had to rescue in 2005. we had a nice chat, and i consider it more networking: he's doing something that might help me in the hopefully-near future :)

the final exercise was provided in two flavours - c and c++. because the results had to be the same, those of us who chose c had to implement object-orientated code manually, which i have to admit to having enjoyed :$

...

the guy i agreed to meet got the buses confused, so i had a few minutes to kill chatting with the hardware dude. i had to leave in mid-sentence, and i'd been having trouble expressing myself so tomorrow i'm going to have to catch him and restart the thought :S
i hate my lack of verbal communication skills.

i passed along my p5 glove so it can be experimented on - i'm ashamed that i haven't played with it after buying it more than two years ago - and then rushed off to dizengof center to pick up my picture. it hadn't been printed yet, so i had to kill some time. i found a relatively cheap massage pillow (great for shoulders!), which i bought and wrapped as a gift for her mom's birthday present. if my mother tells me it's a good idea, i'll buy another one for myself :)

the picture came out beautifully - except for a tiny scrape in the middle that must have been a result of an air-bubble in the glue. i cannot express my disappointment... the guy was cool about it, though, and they'll re-print it tomorrow. he looks to be into the trance scene, and he seemed to like the story behind it :)

i walked into "the black hole" on my way home, and bought two enya discs, the celts and the memory of trees. i then stopped by coffeeholic for a sandwich, but the chef was in an odd mood and the talkative one did a good job of putting me into one too.

i called up her grandmother, after hearing this afternoon that she underwent an operation this week that was a lot more serious than she'd anticipated. at least it went smoothly, and she's feeling a bit better. nothing worse than medical surprises.

...

w00t! my ktorrent started working! now i can happily continue seeding the great space chase :)
and my copy of the magic pudding has arrived, as well! ^_^

i'm a bit tired, actually. but i must blade.

juice - dress - child

today i learned how to write "pirate monkey" in hiragana (kaizoku no saru).
so "go roo!" said in hebrew means "monkey" in japanese :P
transration of the day: "in climax, your friends can touch your privates" (in c, friend classes have access to private members)

today can be broken down into three major pieces:

oil of nystire

i walked into the classroom this morning, to find nystire half-asleep and looking his usual chirpy morning self. it was only after he'd already gotten out a sarcastic response that he turned his head slightly, and i could see the scrapes and remains of blood on the side of it... he'd had a nasty morning, and fainted while throwing up.

i suggested he see a doctor, but in addition to being a trained medic he's also one of the most obscurely obstinate people i've ever come across. he was going to see the doctor, but only around lunchtime.

just after the lecture began, he swung his seat and his shirt that was draped over it rubbed against me. "odd," i thought, "it's cold. it feels kind of wet."

he'd had to wash vomit out of it. i'm a bit fussy about hygiene, so that was kind of uncomfortable for me... anyway, the morning was mostly uneventful, with him rushing off a couple of times but claiming to be more or less alright.

...

his crazy sister called me up during lunch, after he'd been driven to the city officer. when i called her back, i learned that he'd been admitted to hospital. i was then accused of either causing his fall, or not being a good enough friend to help him up. she put down the phone without giving me a chance to explain that i hadn't been there, but she'd instantly put my back up and i hadn't really felt like i needed to be defending myself anyway.

a quick flurry of sms'es later, and she sent me a message threatening me if i didn't stay away from her or her family. this is a girl who's been harrassing me for ages, and last week couldn't understand why i didn't want her sleeping over.

in my anger i sent nystire a message saying that if he didn't intervene we could all be ending up in court over restraining orders and defamation claims (she's too stupid to understand 90% of what i say, and she took to making unpleasant and untrue claims about what kind of person i am). in my anger, i accidentally sent her a copy too - and then realized that i didn't really care.

i've been angry and agitated and brooding since. i can't believe my fantastic mood lasted all of two days. the mood was set by being surrounded by happy, accepting people who were just being people, and ruined by someone who's stupid, bored and looking for a fight.

the costume dept.

i spent a large part of the morning contemplating potential costumes for thurday's party and halloween. i came up with too many options and not enough methods to implement them:
ninja, pirate, clown, cowboy, fairy, surgeon, farmer, unicorn, elf / santa claus... these are all fantastic options to go over my ski mask and overalls.

coming up with a halloween costume is more complicated - it has to be inhuman, or ghoulish. the awesome girl working the alternate freak shop (there are two of them?! i walked out of the first one with body-paint, at least) had me wearing the firestarter-wig and a tiger mask, which looked awesome but somehow didn't gel for spirits. i might still go for the tiger mask, but i did walk out with the wig because it matches the rest of the ski-mask outfit. i'm thinking about dressing my orange man as either a clown or a pirate. heck, while i was there i even bought smiley-face party hats and a blowout so big i can catch things with it.

and the idea of a chef with a cleaver popped into my head, too :)
i'm thinking of taking a cheap costume, like a cape and the recorder, and trying to convince someone at random to take over for a while and then pass it on in the same manner. i wonder if that could work?

kiddie meals

i had lunch with the kid, and we both ate too much. i'll be going back there tomorrow, although he'll have begun journeying back to the university. he's gotten me really interested in working with his company, and has promised to arrange me an interview the second i get out of uniform :)

---
i realized this morning that i'd left a bag at the hardware store last night. that made me feel a bit silly.

i ran into a cute girl from last year's course on the bus this morning, and was pleasantly surprised when she bounced over to kiss me on the cheek. any signs of affection are problematic in uniform, so i must assume that my blissful post-party aura is fairly powerful ;)

sunglasses: i searched through the oakley website today, and found a pair i like. *really* like. at the mall this evening, i found a store where it was explained to me that for only 150% of the site price (after her special, just-for-me reduction) i would be covered by a two-year warranty.
and i understood from her that replacing the broken arm of my current ones would cost me about 70% of that price, so i may as well go new.

i don't know so much. it's time to research some more.

on my way home, i passed a synagogue desperate for me to help out with a minyan (ten males who've passed their rite-of-passage). i was actually quite happy to. i've actually contemplated going there once or twice, and now that i've been they seem like a nice enough bunch. it was kind of weird praying and keeping my idea of god in mind.

strangers - i sent the photo of myself and that girl from saturday to my printer, then made the rounds of all the photo shops on the way to compare prices. i get the best, apparently. and they let me sit on one of their machines to photoshop a border and title onto it :)

i walked into a very, very cool store (that i keep forgetting exists!), and discovered books there that almost made me drool. it's like a hidey-hole for witches and wizards, filled with wonders and charms and pop-ups dictionaries of evil and warlock's handbooks, all cradled in the loving branches of a completely unnatural [hah, i could even get away with "supernatural" and it'd be technically correct] fey-forest :D

---
i'm starting to chill out a bit, and the dark psy-trance is helping. it would've been easier if i'd played frisbee and had a beer, but karnaf's not up to it tonight and nystire's crazy sister will probably be at the only bar i feel like going to. i need to find a local.

speaking of music, i bought a terranoise cd this morning because i was blown away by terranoise - strange blue crystal :)

the two-second logo

i can't believe i'm up so late again... this time, because i was writing the draft concept for the project.

i quite like the logo i've made, even though i could definitely have invested more time and effort... maybe later :P

vitamin deficiency

and by vitamin, i mean that i'd barely consumed food between friday and today's lunch, and we're including about thirteen hours of working out that needed to be made up for. last night i figured it was just a hangover (i *had* consumed a lot of alcohol), and this morning just regular tiredness and dehydration. nystire reminded me that i have a problem with low blood pressure (which is always the last thing to come to mind), and it took a lot of water and two really strong cups of coffee to get me through (barely functional) until the afternoon.

but i don't care - yesterday's stomping made it all worth it ^_^

speaking of which, i can't get the crazy girl out of my head - slutty pumpkin?

it's funny, but i've been more active in the last two or three months than i have in the last five years - i'm quite proud with myself for finally getting back to having some fun :)

some extra sleep would've been good this morning - we began a three day course in herzeliya, and we all arrived more than an hour earlier than we needed to :(
to make that worse, i had a spinach pastry for breakfast and it was horrible. it did put me in a position to run into the kid on his way to work, though - i visited his office afterwards for a quick chat, and the thought occurred to me that maybe it's a good place to interview at when i'm done.

my ex-team-mate called me up this morning - i have a ticket to a hebrew production of a midsummer night's dream in ten days ^_^

lunch: you shouldn't use a square bowl for soup.

nystire and i opened the visualization project we've been talking about, using google's code. i've begun drafting the outline for the planning - quite exciting. i'm really going to enjoy collaborating with him - it may be frustrating, but there's nothing better for a project than to be picked apart until every issue has been argued over and resolved.

i couldn't go to training, i didn't have the strength for it. after the day's course exercises were done (i think they were a bit too straightforward and simple), i went to the kid's office and then caught the bus back to tel aviv. i stopped off at the hardware dude for a visit, and passed through the toy store looking for inspiration. i bought a recorder (green, plastic and pied-pipery), and ten little toy-gun flashlights :)
i also got a cool green light for the entrance, and replacement water filters - i've been using the same one since april :$

i ran into icg on the way home, we started and finished an extremely short and amiable chat, and i've been eating and 'netting while the laundry's been going. karnaf called, i think i may have disappointed him by telling him how good the party was... he was in two minds on friday about joining :/

i've installed ktorrent, after nystire fixed the port problem i was experiencing:
UPNP - Universal Plug and Pray - Allows random devices on the network to ask the router to open ports in the firewall and forward the port to them. Useful when used together with BitTorrent programs...
so the port's finally open. unfortunately, neither transmission nor ktorrent are actually moving any data. bummer :(

i just discovered a massive bruise, and i haven't a clue when it's from. i hope it's nothing serious, meaning i hope it's just a bruise :P
almost on topic - i have learned that in israel, waxed dental floss is always too thick to fit between teeth. that's just stupid.

i may not have torrents, but enichkin - the light of reason just came on the radio so i guess that's compensation for the meanwhile ;)

swordschool found something weird: this man

munchkin hangover

i managed to pull myself out of bed, go shopping, and almost be a decent host while i was in an extremely vulnerable state. we had a good intro game of munchkin, which i won by managing to keep control of the plot device, and i've just finished tidying up and doing the dishes.

it has definitely been a full day. i keep staring at the photo of myself and the other crazy - i'm pining :P

almost forgot! random thoughts from people our age, although a lot of them hold true for all generations :)

reparations

the fresh festival was absolutely insane!!!

getting there was complicated... it involved spilled beer, a harrowing ordeal with a bunch of asshole cops (hanging around bad signage for a no entry, and while we were there another five cars were stopped too), and nearly getting lost.

we set up the tent - a really, really dodgy tent - and went to see what was happening. i didn't get more than a few steps in before the music caught me up, and i was a goner for the next hour or two, just going nuts on the dancefloor.

i was quite surprised by the crowd - the place was packed, thousands of people, loads of gorgeous, crazy girls, and everyone was having a good time... that never happens in israel!

i crashed for an hour or two pre-dawn, waking up freezing but with my neck feeling a little better. i fixed that almost immediately, by bouncing back in and grabbing myself a cup of coffee. aside from a break to swim, and an hour's nap around lunchtime because my legs were giving out, i spent the day (until they closed up at 2pm) digging away, going completely nuts and having a wonderful time ^_^

after the swim, and meeting our neighbours, i went back in wearing the overalls closed, the ski mask and my hat. the outfit went down incredibly well, so much so that a beautiful girl dressed up in a different-type-of-crazy outfit came over and we danced at each other for a while... and i got invited to a private party, on condition that i dress the same :P

i crossed a line - there was a girl i simply couldn't take my eyes off (pretty face, fantastic body, amazing pixie outfit and stunningly artful and tasteful tattoos), and i tried to speak to her on the dancefloor. that was really stupid of me :/

it was a bit silly of them not to publish or announce the line-up, nobody has a clue who played or when. to be fair, though: during the twelve hours or so that i was on the dancefloor, the music was mind-blowingly brilliant and driving.

my new party pants proved their cheapness - i'm rather glad i was wearing them over my swimming trunks, because otherwise i might have had cause for embarrassment.

i'm a little sad that my sunglasses have seen their last.

i can barely hear, my neck's screwed, i'm astounded and impressed that my legs are holding up, and i'm definitely getting into bed. even if it's only for a little while :P

that was hands-down the best party i've seen in this country in many years, and i'm exceedingly glad that i made it :D

israeli consideration

it's a time problem that most israelis suffer from: they can't tell it. at 6pm the guy said 8.30, which is definitely too little sleep to wake up from. it's now 10pm, and i've just been told 11. if i'd have gone to sleep at 6 - and i was most certainly tired enough - that would've been five - six hours post-training.

i needed that.

instead, i've been keeping myself awake watching house. and even half an hour now will keep me down :S

in the middle of a 39-hour stretch

i must have done something right - waking up at 9am wasn't easy this morning ^_^

i began with the post-office, picking up my delivery of "life prep 101" (the fitzgerald translations of the iliad and the odyssey, edith hamilton - mythology and aristotle - poetics), then bought nice wedding present letter paper, and continued on to breakfast at coffeeholic.

it was a bit awkward explaining to the guy who let me down last week that i wasn't going to take a chance with him again... he did give me a fair explanation of the events that transpired, though. on my way back home to get ready to travel up north for the weekend, i called my cousin from the kibbutz to make sure we were still on - and lo, we weren't. too many people decided to visit them this week, leaving me with nowhere to sleep.

"interesting," i thought, "what if?"
so i went back to coffeeholic to double-check that tonight is definite, then called up the guy for the tickets: he was on his way to return the unsold pre-sales to the organizer. i managed to catch him in time to get hold of one ^_^

i visited the hardware dude, surprised to find a sweet girl from our rollerblading group hanging about - i didn't know she's from our neighbourhood, and knowing her scored me security watch over her kid while she shopped :P

i bought wood glue - i'll try to fix books with it some other day - and then returned home to prep for taekwondo. i arrived in time to have a chat with our instructor, who was glad that i finally made it clear to her why i haven't been able to match the kids for punctuality and remembering korean.

training was great, although i returned into my discomfort zone towards the end; a pity, because my back was doing alright this morning. i was disappointed to meet the really cute girl's husband on the way out. other than that, it was the second time i trained with a groin protector, and i managed fine right until the last half hour. two and a half hours doing alright with it, including the warm-up, gives me confidence. i think it's a good idea.

i got a sandwich on the way, had a shower when i got back, and have now caught up online and packed for the party [and rescued a pick from my guitar's innards, that was quite embarrassing]. we're supposed to be off in an hour or so :D
[shite - i need to do some shopping too]

xkcd puts is succinctly: the freakiness of our age

i think i'm going to do skijar again this year.

swedish saving grace

låt den rätte komma in is beautiful, romantic, different - and most of all, human. i thoroughly enjoyed it, even though the beginning was a little too slow and quiet for my state (i was tired and after a beer, and had to keep forcing myself awake until things started pulling together).

there were a couple of points where a lot of us laughed - almost inappropriately, the director has an excellent sense of irony :)

aggravated damage

it's becoming a thing: i fell asleep before turning off the air-conditioner. i woke up freezing at 5.25, which didn't leave me enough time to warm up before having to jump out of bed and get going. at least i had wired accompaniment, and i managed to kip a little on the buses.

most of the workday was agonizing, it's the first time i've used a piece of software and it has a really non-intuitive interface; it took hours to realize that it was working fine and that the problem lay with me :/

on the way to lunch, we heard a terrible story - the zoo in gaza didn't have a zebra, so they painted donkeys instead. this is as sad as it is amusing... the experts who called in to the radio were explaining that the donkey is actually a really intelligent animal, and that's the reason it's so stubborn. weird, huh?

i discovered this afternoon that i haven't even touched the surface of the things i need to familiarize myself with in order to dm. dammit.

on the plus side, i finished something important in my side-project, and have already begun tidying and rewriting. i'm actually having fun doing it, too. it always feels better when it's planned :)

towards the end, something was buzzing around me but i wasn't going to allow myself the distraction. it turned out to be an asian tiger mosquito, and it got me good - particularly on the face. when i got to the bus stop, there were swarms of them. that's a sight to make one lose faith in our species' superiority...

i walked out of my apartment without enough free hands, so i had the apple held in my teeth. just then, two good-looking neighbours walked i... hilarity ensued :P

i must own a tengu. i understand that that's a big name.

the bus ride was irritating - packed as usual, but with a couple of idiot kids being really loud and quite disgusting. i think i'm feeling my age.

...

i walked in an hour late, which is the usual, and our instructor gave me shit about it. there was no better way for her to put me in a kak mood, frustrated and angry, but i was glad for the excuse to give more than i had.
unfortunately, one of the kids wasn't in fight mode, and it looks like i hurt him :(
i couldn't figure out if it was his pride or something physical.

training with groin protection is uncomfortable as hell.

i got a ride back to tel aviv - unfortunately, the driver is not only young and apparently untested, he's also really aggressive and drives wildly - an accident looking to happen :@

...

showered, eaten, and on my way to låt den rätte komma in. two vampire movies in two days, and i've just discovered someone from training who's into the masquerade ^_^

vampiric

the movie was great! i really enjoyed it ^_^
i find that watching any vampire movie imbues me with a sensation of dark grace. i like it.

i discovered an interesting feature of the n95 - if someone's calling me, i can send an automatic message saying i'll get back to them and the missed call is still displayed. that's very useful.

turned out to be the chef, and it turned out to have to do with his danish friend - apparently there's dating potential. we shall see.

nystire's crazy sister called me up, looking for a place to stay the night. considering the fact that after the longest time that i've been saying "no" she still hasn't gotten the message, i figured that that would end badly. so i let it end badly before she came to the city. if got a very eloquent "**** you" as thanks for my troubles.

edith hamilton - mythology is wonderful, and i'm still in the middle of the foreward :)

i haven't a clue what made me think of bravestar this morning :P

no voltage

i *never* know how i do it; i arrived on time this morning. i even managed a disgusting army breakfast before getting to the office and having to wait about an hour for someone to open the damn door :P

oh, well - milton and a few extra winks went down alright. the first couple of hours were lost bringing the systems to a useable state - it started fine, then the electricity went. we thought that they'd cut the power to the wrong building, but it turned out to be a ups failure :S

i made minimal progress before lunch, but did brush up a bit on d&d; lunch was alright, and was completed with about an hour of instructing my TL and a system engineer on the need to find a balance between the american way of suing everyone and the israeli way of giving up immediately.

after a long and educational (for the others) chat about south africa, we got back to work.
work: sitting around chatting (TL sanctioned) and napping.
the coffee break post-chat was mandatory, the coffee itself was great. then my ex-team-mate sat with me on my side-project to teach me a few nuances in c# and convinced me that a redesign is in order.

...

uh, oh.

...

we got a ride back to tel aviv, which was spent convincing the driver to try larping. i would join in the demo games here, but my hebrew's definitely not good enough to enjoy it fully.

but i do have a ticket to rosencrantz and guildenstern are undead, so i'm going back to icon in a bit anyway :)

pretty numbers

synesthesia, a phenomenon i've experienced temporarily, talked about a lot, and can comfortably connect to my rambling theorizing. an interesting video. that one woman definitely needs to get her teeth sorted out.

i did some shopping and eating after posting (the fridge is full for the first time in a week or so), then bladed off. again with the compliments in the street coming from men only - why can't the women take the same strides? the last couple of months of exercise appear to be improving my aesthetic quality :P

i met up with the mongoose, and we had a good chat even if it only lasted a couple of minutes. one of my co-workers rocked up, and we set out with the group.

the group was great, i've begun to get to know a fair amount of the people in it, and the route was comfortable. i did babysit quite a bit - it was his first time and he wasn't too sure of himself. it's hard work for a beginner :)

i just got back, and as usual am cooling down before showering. ice-cream helps. i hate bananas that are perfect but with sticky skin.

renewed, somewhat

i approximated this morning that i have waited in the hot sun for my ride for more than two entire days as accrued over a period of half a year. that's a lot of discomfort.

aside from back distraction - this morning saw me no better than usual - and finally finishing sophocles i, i began my attempts to learn hiragana and fought over the usefulness of a shared outlook folder.

gremlins wreaked havoc on my workday - the strangest thing has been happening lately. usually, it's personal, but lately every time something goes wrong it turns out to be going wrong for everyone else as well. that makes it difficult to take personally.

binary numbers are annoying me. i'm dealing with negative fraction conversions in both directions, and i haven't wasted brain-space on this in years.

i got back home early, took issue with the rum (i think i'm developing a problem, and i don't think the rum is helping), reached the understanding that the next trance party i go to will most likely be in south africa, and got marilyn manson - coma white stuck in my head for the walk to watch the gamers: dorkness rising.

that's the first time i've laughed out loud in a theatre in a very, very long time, and what made it even better was the raucous laughter from all around me. they really made a great film ^_^

on my way out i bought two tickets for låt den rätte komma in - that's thursday night's, and i'm contemplating going to see rosencrantz and guildenstern are undead. i just watched a bit of the trailer... and advise against watching it and instead seeing the movie :)

i bought a cheap copy of edith hamilton - mythology and the book of frank herbert (about ten short stories). then i walked home, and i now have an hour to go before i return to the cinemateque on wheels.

four-legged yapping

district 9 was fantastic.

i passed out while reading with the air-conditioner on, and was woken repeatedly by phone-calls that i was less than capable of answering. eventually, around midnight, i managed to drag myself off the couch to shower and brush my teeth, and have just woken up... sore as usual, exhausted, and bothered by whatever intangible has been getting to me over the last week or so.

whatever it is definitely includes the fact that the water pressure in my shower has dropped in the last couple of days, that my party planning has been going awry and that i haven't a clue how to manage the rest of the week. things just aren't gelling.

strange sensitivities

it's either alcoholism or an up-and-coming identity crisis. it's the sort of inexplicable aggravation that requires any form of meditation.

this suit session is over, probably to be continued next week. i feel like a complete jerk for having told my commander - so tomorrow's a workday, instead of a free holiday :P

i decided to go back and buy the battlestar galactica box set before entering two lectures, and was so disappointed to discover that somebody else had gotten there first that i just came straight back.

grumpy, edgy, and in the middle of district 9. at least i'm going to get through the rest of it, it's even more excellent than i expected.

mission not-bloody-likely

watashi wa ugokimasen - nebusoku desu
i feel horrible, and even more so for having kipped for an hour. the bus after the one i missed was jam-packed this morning, so i couldn't rest my eyes (and i was being talked at by someone i once studied with), and the man in the suit made me wait.

*has strange thoughts concerning television's role in shared meditation*

*contemplates the potential for documentary activism*

the meeting wasn't very long, and i was sent home for a break. watching some of district 9 didn't help me fall asleep, and once i did begin passing out my world began spinning... but i don't have a temperature, so i must be fine. right?

now i'm unprepared for the rest of the day.

did i say sod it?!

eyeborgs: freakin' AWESOME! gritty, amusingly cast, and downright mean - this is my favourite sci-fi of the year. and to think i almost stayed at home :)

i have only one snide comment, which is caused by the writers' lack of foresight to have the script read over by any 14 year-old with internet access. it's hardly noticeable, and most certainly doesn't damage such a great movie, but the instant i heard it it set my teeth on edge.

must - see!

humourous addition:
one of the icon projectionists jumped over to sit next to me; i think he was disappointed when i didn't flirt back :P

grossly unfortunate

it was the realization that i was missing out on an excellent deal that got me to launch myself out of my apartment and power-walk back to icon in the [vain] hope that the disc stall would still be operating.

no dice.

running on autopilot - i was already here - i purchased a ticket and went in search of frozen yoghurt to fill the half-hour gap.

twisted luck

and neighbourly. explanation to follow.

the day started rough, i slept horribly and there's nothing like an aching neck and exhaustion to get one going. in a daze i shaved, breakfasted, brushed teeth, put on my uniform... i shouldn't have gone in uniform... and took the bus.

as i got there my mum called, and our chat put me in a good mood. i grabbed a cup of coffee, and bumped into the man in the suit. we went to sit in a coffee shop - which meant i had to toss the coffee... anyway, the day went from there to becoming dreary and argumentative. i don't think we understand each other, but i'm trying and he seems to be so there's not much more to be done there.

i was completely wiped out and sore by the time i was released, and then had to suffer the stupid bus arrangement (the area i was in sucks). eventually i landed a useful bus, and started passing out inelegantly. i started coming around in time to get out at my stop, made my way home, and lay down on the couch to rest and watch house.

an earpiece of my sunglasses had broken (nine years of abuse, it kind of figures), so i went past the hardware store for some cyanoacrylate. from there i went to the cinemateque:

icon!!

the first thing on the list was extreme disappointment - the tickets to the screening of district 9 were all sold out :(
when two friends arrived, they gleefully expressed their excitement that they'd bought in advance... i still don't know why they didn't think to call and say "hey - want one too?"...

i almost bought a second-hand battlestar galactica - season four (plus razor), but compared the price on ebay and figured it was completely disproportionate. now that i've done some more research, i think it was a good deal and i hope it's still there when i go back now to watch eyeborgs. [at least, i *think* i'm going back, i'm starting to feel broken.]

after a break for sushi, nystire and i made it back in time for a round of browsing, and i bought sláine - the king; lots of cash, but i was unable to resist. there's so much incredible stuff there!

ooh! i have a ticket to a screening of the gamers: dorkness rising on tuesday! ^_^

with lots of excitement we all gathered for the opening ceremony, which was great (the camerie orchestra played the indiana jones theme and the imperial march, and a parliament member was booed off stage after harping about the bright side of city planning :P

i rushed back home, remembering that my old neighbour had told me he had a copy of district 9 for me... and found his wife and a bunch of others from the building sitting around outside. i had a cup of coffee with them, took the disc home, returned for hot chocolate and an amusing meeting with the hardware dude... our neighbourhood rocks.
i even had a sweet run-in with a cute girl in my building :)

[naaah, sod eyeborgs - i haven't left myself enough time to get there comfortably]

one in three lights

watching the prisoner and house didn't do anything for my restlessness, so i left for a walk. i eventually ended up in a really nice little park, feeding the mosquitoes and laughing at myself, at my hopelessness concerning the next three days i'll be spending with the man in the suit.

my mother mentioned c c cummings, and i've decided i really like him.

aging
i close my fist
and feel a surge
i open my hand again
first feeling,
then seeing
a shimmering
a tingling
an aura of power
which will fade as i grow older

the danish will conquer all

on the way to the beach, i ran into my old neighbour - so i sat down at cafe arlozorov to debate and argue with the group over a guinness. from there i headed to the hilton beach, to sit over a couple of beers with karnaf and repeat my findings (he's doing his master's in philosophy, so it was actually called for this time), and we proceeded with an awesome frisbee session in fantastically clear water.

i was going to sit down at coffeeholic and continue to read sophocles i, but i ran into one of the regulars on the way and he decided to join me. if i was a brass monkey my ears would have fallen off already. the saving grace for the evening was the chef being paid a visit by a beautiful danish girl, who was a lot of fun to talk to. i don't know if they're together - but i hope not. i sent him a message that i hope conveys that without causing offence :P

the bad astronomer and i appear to agree - i just posted a link to my take in his comments, i hope phil reads it :)

while on bad astronomy links - this one on clairvoyance is highly amusing

a beautiful yet slightly choppy look at black holes

disappointment at the nowhere

i didn't sleep very comfortably... it's 11am, and i still haven't been called. i guess that means that i can give up on the plans to bounce to shift today.

i checked my mail today - my credit card's been cancelled! and it only took half a year and resorting to barbarism! and i received a receipt for a donation i made to the university... a small amount, and it's kind of embarrassing that they made a bit of a fuss about it. i did the math on wednesday evening, and i gave about a quarter of the average donation :$

maybe i should take a book to the beach.

tacked on:
something yesterday reminded me of an incident that occurred when i was very young, an incident that had a profound effect on my behaviour.
i was sitting in front of the computer, when i heard glass breaking downstairs. i decided that whatever had happened - not my problem. i carried on doing whatever i was doing. a short while later my mother, freaked out, caught me up and chewed me out: someone had thrown a brick through our kitchen window.
the thought that someone could have been hurt hadn't even occurred to me, and i was deeply ashamed. since then, i cannot bring myself to say "someone else's problem", the second that i've noticed something's gone awry i either have to deal with it, or feel terrible about having to let it go.

miscalculated hours

i made it to the last night of techno on the roof - and i made it at the right time, when there were people digging and good tunes. it was really hot, and the stairs were a bit of a bitch, but it was a good way to throw an hour. probably shouldn't have had the second drink, though :P

i managed to catch a shuttle home, and went to bed having set both alarms to wake me up before 1am. i don't know how i managed to get up, as i was completely bombed - and waited for the call.

an hour later, and i sent a message inquiring as to our status - a short while after that the guy called me: the plan was to go in the morning. dammit. now i've been online for ages, having discovered lots of stuff in a dream-state, so i'm going to post linkage and get back to full dream-mode.

on data and us: this is really pretty

from tycho:
gyromancer: should i be concerned that i've only ever played the initial trial of bejeweled? this game looks pretty cool.
freaky avalanche video: damn.

what are the chances that i'd glance at the news for the first time in ages, to find that it's time for the ignobel prizes?!

an indie series on comic weenies? cute.

going to bed now. i hope i didn't annoy the dude, i really wanna go hear shift :/

the little homo

i was in a fantastic mood after getting the last post out - i still don't know if that was a smart move or a stupid one. i'm terrified that someone would try to steal it (on the assumption that anyone out there appreciates it, of course), but at the same time i'm really proud of where i've come to and i'd be glad if it were disseminated.

i went out for my usual friday's "breakfast against the clock", had the beef parisian and starting flipping through an introduction to poetry that someone (i suspect the lecturer) donated to coffeeholic's bookshelf. i didn't have much time before training, so i skipped off to steimatzky to see what they'd saved for me.

robert sabuda has published peter pan, and it is unbelievable!! i really like the girl there, she's so glad to find good homes for the truly wonderful ^_^

while i was there, i invested in a couple of dictionaries: french and japanese. i wonder if i'll manage to learn katakana and hiragana soon... i also bought the addictionary, because it looks like fun and the army was paying for the whole thing ;)

i grinned all the way back to coffeeholic - running into egg (no more than a wave hello) - to show off the pop-up. everyone was amazed and awed, and the lecturer cracked me up: "oh! i'd forgotten the little homo!". for a second i couldn't figure out if she was referring to me, to her son, to robert sabuda... then it suddenly hit me that she was commenting on peter pan. the importance of context and expectations :)

on the way to training i called up my guy for tickets to tonight's festival (protoculture and rinkadink) - only to discover that it's been moved to next weekend! how screwed up is that? i moved all my plans around it :S
i stopped by coffeeholic again, secured transport to both the festival and another party tonight that i hadn't heard of (shift's playing! ^_^), and then rushed off to the center.

the training today was hard. as in, i had to lie down with my feet up towards the end of the warm-up because my body just couldn't take it any more. we proceeded with insane work on the focus pads (i'm amazed i can still walk, actually) and then finished off with forms. i had an opportunity to take one of the yellow belts aside and teach him about strike completion, and was amazed to discover that the really cute girl who's training with us is the little one's mommy...

i'm about to eat something, then head off for drinks and trance on the roof. i won't be there too long, though - i have to be ready to head out at 1am ^_^

brownies - am i real is deeply playing in the background :)

on realities; the base of the omnipotent

what is truth to a creature that derives meaning where none exists?

i begin my argument facing a terminological quandary: the definition of reality.
i choose to talk separately of a "universal reality" and a "personal reality", although for most people these concepts are inseparable and inviolate. universal reality consists of facts, whereas personal reality consists of interpretations.

to illustrate the difference, let us take the example of the word "painting".
as a physical artifact, the word describes a material with colour on it. in a world of facts, we cannot distinguish forms and colours, nor the intent with which those colours were placed. colour itself is the interpretation of a returned wavelength, rendering the visual quality of any item imaginary. what we are left with in universal reality is an item that humans may or may not look at.

to clarify: the object "painting" has no meaning in the absence of a personal interpretation with which to derive it.

i feel i must specify here that nowhere in this text will i imbue the word "meaning" with "higher purpose". this is not a discussion of spirituality.

we are objects, flesh and bone, and interact with other objects.
in universal reality, these interactions occur without narrative. two humans making noises at each other does not indicate communication - we can see this in the case of two humans speaking different languages. a human who gets on a bus is not necessarily going anywhere - from the perspective of universal reality there can be no concept of past or future, only a continuous stream of physical states.

universal reality is not something humans beings can be comfortable conceptualizing, so we're going to move our focus onto magic and miracles instead.

the human brain performs two very important functions that form the basis of personal reality. the brain filters the infinite barrage of noise that we are constantly bombarded with to produce pictures, sounds and sensations, and does this through learned interpretation of key signals and symbols that exist in both the universal and personal realities.

once the input has been reduced to manageable parts through the filtering process, the brain compiles the data and interprets a picture of the universe. it is this interpretation that develops a subjective entity ("self" - i ignore memory here, and refer to an instantaneous "self". think amnesia.) and a complete universe to go with it.

the interpretive and filtering functions are "history": learned patterns that provide the ability to understand the present.

let us redefine a Very Big Word without actually changing its meaning: the complex mechanism that each of us possesses to construct our personal realities is god. god created your universe, without god there is no meaning. without your personal reality as an overlay to the universal reality, there can be no meaning to your existence nor any experience of it.

this is not to say that one's personal reality isn't "true": quite the opposite, one's personal reality is completely real and always true and accurate, regardless of its intersection with the universal reality, and with no obligation to intersect in any way with the personal realities of others.

the wonder of god is that the entire process is completely transparent, authentic and believable. the only "truth" that can be argued over justifiably must be fact based - in other words, must demonstrate a complete disregard for meaning. conversely: any meaning, by sheer virtue of its nature, must be true.

for convenience's sake, i have used the word god - but any concept of godhead fits the bill.
what is important to note is that once a human being has a sense of self, he cannot honestly consider himself an atheist. the statement "there is no god" is derived from the confusion between the universal and the personal.
god exists, god exists only in the personal, god is the personal.
one's personal reality is one's entirety, essentially inseparable from one's world-view. one's reality is real, and god is involved every step of the way.

in order to successfully communicate there must be - if not real, then at least perceived - overlap between personal realities. not having overlap makes for a frustrating and futile experience; to create overlap requires cognitive contamination.

this poses both a problem and its solution. when we doubt something, we automatically seek confirmation from external sources. any external source with regards meaning is inherently subjective, and so we either prove or disprove higher-order concepts based on levels of cognitive contamination and majority rule.

it is impossible to force change in another's personal reality via communication, and so we resort to communication on the level of universal reality, which almost invariably manifests as violence.

on the other hand, we are blessed with an imaginary utopia in which we can communicate perfectly, and debate and negotiate all our conflicts away.

to take a step back, however, would allow us to realize that neither of these scenarios is necessary. the realization that one's personal reality is accurate and fully real while simultaneously acceptably at odds with universal reality would afford one the understanding required to be truly tolerant of any lack of overlap between personal realities.

of course, if one of two people does not share this understanding, then we can anticipate both cognitive dissonance and a readiness to enforce his personal reality via any means necessary. in this case, tolerance from the one who does understand becomes counter-productive and contest becomes mandatory.

a world in which all humans have very similar personal realities would be utopian, boring and extremely dangerous. we all seek constant confirmation of the accuracy of our perception, and would be forced to either control others' perception (in spite of theirs being entirely valid) or hide our own (again, in spite of ours validity).

this is the outcome of confusion between the two realities, this is the underlying cause of all damage done by both religious and anti-religious institutions.

humans beings will create their own realities, choose their own perceptions of godhead, and this is a miracle and a gift to be celebrated. free will may be debatable, but freedom of choice in perception must be protected at all costs (ideally, provided it harms the least number of other humans).
it is impossible to define sanity or insanity, truth or lies, right or wrong in a universal reality, and understanding that from within our own personal realities might help make the world a better place. or it might not, i most certainly am not in a place to tell the future according to my personal universe.

i can only say for sure that my world is a better place for grasping this, because i've finally found god. and i will fight to my very last to defend my right to choose what i believe.

pop-up peter

something awesome slipped my mind - at the wedding, my phone rang: the girl from the bookstore kept my number and called to inform me that she's keeping a copy of the newly-arrived peter pan pop-up aside for me ^_^

lucky break-away

no shuttle this morning, so i had to bus... usually i'd complain about how much it sucked, but i used the opportunity to begin jotting down the Deep Thoughts that have had me distracted lately.

most of the workday was wasted bureaucratically, some wasted trying to convince our SC not to make an enormously unprofessional mistake, some on the thought of a ferret wearing a gimp mask and a strap-on, a tiny bit on unresponsive equipment, and little bits here and there on work.

two of us broke off early for the train - the guys who promised me i could ride with them didn't come through for me (including my TL) - and we even had a couple of minutes to chat before going our separate ways.

i continued the Big Scribble on the train, finishing just minutes before we arrived. in be'er sheva i had enough time to get to the bus. the driver agreed to let me know when we got to my destination, and i began to fade as soon as i sat down.
i was fortunate to discover that we'd passed my stop as we were pulling out, and the next one turned out to be better for me
:)

after a bit of confusion, i set out in my shiny dress uniform on a mission through a patch of desert, arriving slightly dustier about 20 minutes later, *just* in time for the beginning of the ceremony - an hour before the time on the invite: i'd forgotten i'd been told 5 and not 6... so i made it :)

the ceremony was really pretty, private and in an amazing setting. from there we all moved to the bedouin tent nearby, for an evening of serious drinking, more serious eating, good conversation (and not a little awkwardness), a little dancing (didn't dig the dj)...

i managed to find a ride to be'er sheva at the very last minute, and on our way there was informed that my street happened to be on their route home - SCORE!

i'm definitely crashing hard when i get there.