cotton-wool brain

 i don't know how long i've been awake for already, it's probably fair to say that i've been uncomfortably restless since around 1.30-2am. i just decided to get up, haunted by the video my family sent me in the early evening of the rube goldberg machine they made for mr smear's homework. it's a legitimately hilarious video, but also horrifying as the end result was firing a wasabi pea into mr smear's mouth - it hurt him, but fortunately didn't injure him or cause him to choke to death.

imagine having a video of your child's dumb way to die 😭

...

i worked a lot today, and for the most part it felt like a productive day. gd and i did a grocery shopping around noon, and unlike last month it looks like we've pretty much maxed out my monthly food allowance already.

during the day, gd and i began preparing the shower for a silicon treatment, which will hopefully be more solid than whatever the handyman tried to do. i'm grateful that we have two showers in the apartment, otherwise not having access to this one could have been unpleasant :P

as an external developer, my client still hasn't figured out how to give me access to deploy to production even though the devops team has acknowledged that i should have it. their temporary solution was to whitelist my user and have me flag my deployments for "emergency override", the theory being that their on-call will immediately see that i should be approved. in practice, though, that only works if their notifications system isn't broken :/

i was finally able to deploy all my changes just in time to run tests before my end-of-the-week 1-on-1 with my team lead, so i was able to open our meeting with the disappointing news that the customer had, once again, provided us with bad data. once we finished dealing with that, we talked about how i feel, and i have him all the positives and one massive concern - the lack of communication from the team that's supposed to be helping his - and what i've proposed to my sub-team to try and make the best of the situation 🤷‍♂️

the class this evening included a lot of information that i'm struggling to fully understand. by the time we got to the final lab exercise, someone else asked the question i didn't want to ask, but did want to know the answer to: what's the purpose of a code lab when all we're doing is copy/pasting an elaborate prompt to an agent and having it do the work for us?

what a time to be alive.

after the class - during which my stomach started doing a thing, i was feeling bloated and uncomfortable - i walked to the game developer "drink up" through crowds of kids dressed to the hilt for a night out on the town. i arrived to find loads of people sitting around and talking, but alone, not recognizing anyone, not knowing how to even present myself as a wannabe game developer - and not feeling particularly good - i wussed out and walked off to catch a bus home instead. i had dinner, said good night to mr smear, showered and got ready for bed.

i'm surprised i fell asleep as easily as i did, but here i am, proving to myself that maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. either way, though, both earlier and now, i really, really don't feel capable of using my brain properly. this week really took it out of me.

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friday the 13th, huh? i can't think of much that's scarier than the american midterm election results before the iranian war is over, or how the red/green alliance has infiltrated israeli politics. gods help us all.