a dramatic start to the weekend

i've got two days to process everything that happened today (also, this last week, and possibly month or two) before starting to deal with a bunch of things that make me nervous.

...

this morning started off alright. mr smear went to school, i did the dishes and took gd's wrong-sized shoes to the post office for return. then i caught the bus to work, and immediately got caught in a web of onboarding stuff. otherwise i worked straight until lunchtime.

the good news is, i got my primary job done. and, while i was out talking with my mom on the way to and from getting lunch*, bigtalk stopped in at the office to say hi and report that he's got a new job in the building, which is a relief (i really hope his new job is actually good for his career, and not just another employer blowing smoke up his bum).

* omfg. my niece is three months' pregnant and hadn't told my sister, and when confronted she said "she didn't think she'd be interested". my sister and her son have been living with her and doing all the heavy lifting in the parenting of her kid as it is, whose father (the ex-husband) is a known paedo. the boyfriend is sweet, but useless. all the fucking drama.

the bad news is that just before going to get lunch, the new captain shared his "roadmap" with the team and my british coworker responded (in our team chat) that it looked like it was ai-generated and that it was "mental" to devise an 18 month roadmap for a devops team**.

** it's pretty crazy in general, ignoring the fact that we're a new startup and the captain doesn't understand how anything works yet.

after lunch, i took him aside to explain to him that whether he's right or not (he's totally right) it doesn't help him or anyone to be so tactless.

immediately afterwards, we returned to our desks, at which point the new captain - in front of everyone, because it's an open-plan office - climbed into him, resulting in him telling him "i'm in charge, i tell you what to do, and you do it. if you don't like it, go speak to the boss".

i just kept my eyes fixed on my monitor while this took place. the feeling of the two of them hating each other was palpable.

half an hour later, i had a meeting with the boss. he asked how i'm doing, to which i responded that he'd need to start as he was the one who'd called the meeting. he informed me a) that i was off the devops team and b) that he wanted me back "home" and programming, but that "neither of the r&d dev captains were particularly excited about me joining their teams".

now, i don't know if he was reporting accurately, or if he was being polite and saying that they'd refused to take me, but either way i'm very unhappy about the fact that two people i've been working with for eight months don't want to work with me. even if i do have some idea of why not (each of them for different reasons, but mostly in approach). so a huge part of my processing anxiety right now is trying to figure out how to approach them on sunday and try to find a way to achieve some kind of feelings reset.

so i've officially - with immediate effect - been moved to the system team. this is a fine outcome in my book, at least, but knowing it's my boss's third choice does leave me with a bit of an aftertaste.

of course, that happened right before we all walked out to a special happy hour. which i spent most of talking to the guy i used to serve with. although it was an interesting conversation, i kept seeing my boss and the new captain and a bunch of others out of the corner of my eye and i had a strong feeling that i should have been there instead...

...

gd was supposed to finally be getting her tooth sorted out this evening, and i was expecting her to be done by the time i left the not-so-happy hour. she didn't answer her phone, so i called mr smear and learned that the dentist had been forty minutes late, and that gd had been on the chair for twenty minutes already, and he was sitting in the waiting room bored out of his skull.

so i talked to him until i caught a bus to join them, unlocked a couple of games on his phone for him, and then sat quietly stewing all the way there.

i met up with the two of them just after gd had finally finished, with the unfortunate result that the new tooth didn't fit properly, so she's now got to wait another two weeks. we headed to our usual post-dentist hummusia, had an enjoyable dinner (the food, not the feelings surrounding our respective days), and then caught a bus home.

...

while we ate, i asked mr smear if he'd apologized properly to the girl from yesterday. he informed us - and we double- and triple-checked - that she'd merely giggled as a response, and that aside from that they hadn't had any interactions.

hmmm.

...

mr smear went to bed relatively smoothly, and now i've posted this perhaps i'll have energy to shadowrun a little. last night i clicked through a whole lot of dialog, but by the time i was ready for a mission i was done.