the weeds

 today kinda sucked. i slept a bit better last night, but not great, gd seemed to be getting better and mr smear had a more positive morning.

gd and i had a good parental guidance session with the therapist. this has bcome foreshadowing, it feels like whenever we discuss his (and our) progress we have a major issue on the way...

but i had a really hard time getting into work, i was very sensitive to the cold today and i'm now pretty confident i'm starting to come down with what gd has.

i'm also having trouble with the pokemon app. it's really good at doing what it's trying to, and that's suck all of my attention.

in the afternoon i took mr smear to his jiujitsu class, on the way explaining again why it's important that he goes and he seemed to be understanding and accepting. right until we arrived, at which point he refused to cooperate.

on top of that, he was also pretty rude to me, and that's a thing that's been building up the past little while. i intimidated / scared the shit out of him and we came home is mostly silence. when we arrived, we sat down for a "family meeting" but i was pretty furious and just unloaded. i sent him to his room and gd and i spoke for a bit, which calmed me down a little, then i called him back and we had a proper talk.

on the one hand, it went better than we could have expected. on the other, he's done with mma and we have nothing to replace it with. i've no idea where we go from here and i'm deeply disappointed, not just about the mma, but about his behavior surrounding it.

fuck.

and that's on top of a shitty work day in which i barely got anything done, and the shitty feeling of having blown three workday hours on a failed mma class and three months of mma fees for barely any classes. on the way to school mr smear had expressed interest in playing the drums, and that's about the price of a low-end electronic drum kit :/