some peace?

 i mean, i'm feeling thoroughly cooked but i have another meeting with gco and sailor at 9pm.

today began alright, until just before leaving to take mr smear to school when i got into a ridiculous and very intense argument with gco. that set the tone and drained my energy for the day before it had even begun, even if we did resolve it (apparently) amicably.

[my thumbnail's got split skin that's bleeding and hurting and driving me crazy. i suspect it's from it being dry skin season]

i had another first encounter with a different company this morning, and it went *much* better than yesterday's.

gd and i were all good this morning, although she's still suffering intensely. i had to leave work at noon to pick mr smear up from school because she couldn't handle it. not only did that work out because i remembered that he had geometry (actual geometry :P) homework, and i also got to see today's artwork which was very cool (especially his stick figure renditions of one piece characters).

the work day went well, overall, and i managed to leave with a surprisingly strong sense of satisfaction.

now for dinner and a meeting :P

further down

 well, dinner was pretty cool - we finished watching wall-e for the umpteenth time, and enjoyed the pizza - but after mr smear went to bed gd had a coughing fit that led to a long and unpleasant fight. which was eventually resolved, but not without both of us exhausted and feeling burned out.

godsforbid we should have some peace.

maybe tomorrow will be better. 

i might be coming down with something

i don't feel sick, i feel wired, but i feel like i might be in a holding pattern with a bug or virus waiting to land. then again, it might just be general fatigue, physical and/or mental. it certainly doesn't help that i've been having trouble sleeping the past few nights, nor that there've been a lot of incidents of emotional stress, both ups and downs.

...

getting mr smear to school this morning was good, but then i got a message from his teacher that he wasn't cooperating in geometry. and he wasn't: he was insisting that drawing pixel art of a circle was geometry.

jesus, fuck 🤦

hopefully that was the only incident. while gd was at the doctor getting prescribed more antibiotics and meds because she's got a full-blown lung infection in addition to what looks like a virus, i was at home doing online chores (like reapplying for her cannabis license), juggling a bunch of recruiters, and trying to get something productive done.

it almost feels like the most productive thing i got done today was snacking a lot :P

i picked mr smear up from school, brought him home to switch bags, then took him to his therapy session. i headed to the cinemateque for a coffee and to work, the barista was curious about my tattoos and i ended up on a tear about the injustice of how shakespeare's sonnets are taught when her initial complaint was that she hates the sonnet form. i hurriedly scribbed sonnetcomix.com on a piece of paper, grabbed my coffee and hid behind my laptop :P

i picked mr smear up and we took the light rail home, where i got some work done but i also crashed and burned in a chat with a recruiter about expectations (which i'm still feeling a bit gross about). then gd needed help with the washing machine, and got angry with me because she thought i'd broken it while i was trying to help, and that made a pretty gross feeling too :/

anyway, my son's sitting across from me and playing beautiful melodies on the keyboard, and i've managed to complete a piece of work that wasn't trivial at all, and gd's making pizza for dinner, and i think i'm done trying to be an adult for the rest of the day.

replay

 it's been a long day, i'm exhausted but also a bit wired.

getting mr smear to school went smoothly, but then gd and i had a fight about her being triggered by something and we both handled it badly. we eventually sorted ourselves out, but not without setting a shit tone for the morning.

on the way to the office i stopped by the pain clinic, and was fortunate to find gd's doctor in his office. he sorted us out with the updated documents pretty quickly, so tomorrow morning i'll restart the application.

i'm glad i got my work done today, because it was in spite of the fact that i had to pick mr smear up from school because gd wasn't feeling up for it, then bussed to shuk hacarmel to meet me team there for my own birthday lunch and enjoy an amazing frena, then took a slow walk to get an artisanal coffee (picking up a really expensive but really good mango-granadilla-pomegranate fruit shake along the way), then returned to the office just in time for a birthday "happy hour" (the vegan crepes weren't great, but it was a nice sentiment).

i spoke to a couple of my coworkers today about the pivot situation, including my manager. on the one hand, i'm going to explore my options and see what's going on, but on the other, i'm not unhappy where i am and there's a chance we'll figure ourselves out and do something interesting. so no (immediate) stress.

i left the office around 6pm, and arrived home with barely enough time to settle before a 7pm meeting with a man who i'm describing as "an ice-cold caraffe of lemonade in the middle of the desert". the rest of the evening's been mostly about following up on that meeting and it's both exciting and tiring.

...

i wrote an article over a month ago on medium that's really got traction over the past few days, it's quite an experience!

...

i think i might be too tired to play shadowrun returns, which is a bit disappointing. i'm really enjoying it, and it's amazing to me that while everything feels familiar, i barely remember any details!