crash and burn and crash again

 i'm feeling pretty cooked. the meeting last night went on a lot longer than planned, some of which was good, but most of which was me completely and utterly failing to communicate the idea to the point where sailor - who's supposed to be on our side of the table - was thoroughly convinced that it's a bad idea.

i cannot begin to describe how disappointed and frustrated i am about that.

for the rest of the night, when i wasn't sleeping, i was feeling shit about it. all throughout today, the group and i have been having arguments about the meeting on whatsapp, which has been very draining.

...

this morning started off alright, gd was feeling a bit better. i was supposed to have another interview but they canceled at the last minute, and i was supposed to have a scheduled demo but they canceled too. so it was a pretty easy morning, really, and the work day started off pretty smoothly*.

* for me, at least. my boss spilled coffee all over my manager's fancy keyboard and killed it.

halfway through the morning i received a phone call asking if we could bring mr smear in to the dentist this afternoon. gd picked him up from school - that was when her coughing fits began again - and i took him to the dental clinic. i was grateful when i left the office that my manager seemed happy with the fact that i'd done pretty much everything i had to do for the day.

the dentist was really uncool with me, but she was great with him, so i sucked it up and let her do her thing. he seems to be okay.

we walked all the way home, by which time we found gd really struggling. as soon as we got all the groceries unpacked we hopped in a taxi and went to the bikur-rofeh, and mr smear spent most of our visit drawing. the visit started off well, but when the arab pulmonary specialist pronounced something that gd disagreed with (that she's been having asthma attacks) and she exploded in a fit of rage and i had to physically restrain her to prevent her from storming out while i tried to smooth things over with the keenly offended doctor.

jesus fucking christ.

we were there for a while, and i managed to convince gd to apologize, and he calmed down and returned to being professional, and gd received treatment and he was really cool with us. i don't know for sure if he's right, but we've got a plan that makes sense and if it doesn't work out we'll have useful data.

afterwards, we walked around looking for somewhere to eat but couldn't find anything. we continued on to azrieli and ate vegan shwarma at the food court, which mr smear and i really enjoyed, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that i stuffed myself and then stuffed myself some more.

we came home, got mr smear showered and toothbrushed and into bed, and i'm now finishing my second cup of tea and am planning on following suit.

what an exhausting week (so far). the more it goes on the more i wonder if i'm not actually sick.