adulting

last night was... stressful. i played some of a particularly difficult mission in shadowrun: hong kong, and i honestly can't tell if my nerves were all from the game or not, but i was buzzing with anxious energy. then gd exploded out of the bedroom on the verge of a panic attack, desperately angry because she can't wait another month and a half for her dental treatment when she can't eat properly (her dentist warned her about bread, FFS) and her mouthguard has become a catch-22 (it doesn't fit properly with her temporary crown, but if she doesn't wear it there's a good chance the tooth will fracture).

...

gd and i dropped mr smear off at school today - in spite of his now-regular protests - and continued on the dental clinic. it was a pleasant enough walk.

we didn't achieve a lot at the clinic, but the receptionist tried to help and gd was much more satisfied with the outcome.

we sat and enjoyed a slow coffee at lebowski, then walked back home, stopping on the way to pick up her new shoes from the post office (which she seems to be very happy with) and do a quick grocery run (the carrefour staff creeped me out today).

by the time we returned home i was pretty hungry, and i was stuck between instructions from my boss and a sync with my teammates, so i had a decent breakfast. after the sync i had a much better idea of what i needed to be doing, but the next hour or two i was generally quite distracted.

i picked mr smear up from school and took him across the road to his tutor - we sat together in the sun for ten minutes, it was nice once he stopped trying to get me to "compromise" on spending time together vs him playing games on his phone.

the coffee shop i wanted to sit in has rearranged their counter away, so i was forced to sit outside in the glaring sun at a table surrounded by flies :/

at least i managed to make a little progress on the work, although i was distracted by helping an old friend request donations for his unit and a man standing right behind me selling books to whoever would give him the time of day.

after picking up mr smear and returning home - witnessing some interesting construction work and having an awkward conversation with a stranger who recognized my saffer accent and had stories to tell of his time living in cape town - the afternoon went by quickly in a rapid-fire series of distractions with little pockets of work in between.

during the hour leading up to my phone interview, i tried to rest and prepare myself, but i realized that i'm not just burned out, but also bummed out (read: depressed), and i really can't afford to project that during my interviews.

at 6pm i got on the call, which ended briefly after we discovered that we don't just work in the same building, but that we're on the same floor, and we've agreed to meet in person instead.

i rushed off to dizengoff to pick up mr smear's new prescription glasses, and on the way back home received authorization from my boss to take three days off next week. i made a conscious effort to not look at my phone for most of the bus rides there and back.

the evening was pleasant, i ate too much, and around mr smear's bedtime i dived in to my work and achieved a flow state for the first time the entire day, and actually managed to finish off (the work day) around an hour ago with a satisfying commit.

at that point i closed my laptop and took my kindle to the couch, reading mona lisa overdrive until i passed out for a bit, then getting up with a sore back and deciding to write this all down before i head to bed.

...

shit, i was supposed to call my mother after saying good night to mr smear, we're trying to figure out the best way to manage crypto transfers and debt repayments.