pivot

 fuuuuuuuuck. in addition to everything else that's been going on, our bosses announced this morning that we're beginning an "exploration" before pivoting. or possibly being absorbed by a different company. i spent half the day trying to come up with viable things for us to do, the other half despondent because i'm not interested in the direction we're headed, and i'm not keen on job hunting, and i'm surprisingly emotional not about the great work we've done that's going in the bin - that's part of the risk of working in a startup - but about four weeks of horrible work in particular that i've been detesting that's going in the bin.

what a shit-show.

i started contacting recruiters this evening.

at least mr smear had an "okay" day today. gd and i were both feeling a lot of feels this morning (on top of her being sick), and because i didn't have energy to argue with her i encouraged her to send her concerns to the therapist directly instead.

i had a long chat with dod before i started work, and he's still unemployed and really struggling. i feel bad because i want to get something off the ground anyway and he could really help me, but with everything else going on i've had zero bandwidth for anything.

i'm really tired. do i ever mention being tired?