turnaround

 the day started off wildly shit. i mishandled an issue with mr smear on the way to school and it escalated to the point where i had to bring him back home; every step of the way felt awful. and then apologize, after understanding that what i *should* have done from the very beginning was just let the shit go.

the rest of the day was pretty good, but that shit feeling of i'm-fucking-this-up stayed for a long time.

we all went to the hospital to make an appointment for gd, and failed to do that because there's no reception on sundays.

i helped mr smear with his homework this evening, and it went really well. like, for-reals math homework explaining division problems to him and getting him on track to solve them himself!

oh, look! it's raining. fortunately, i managed to finish painting around the windows this afternoon, so hopefully that's going to help with the mold problem we keep having... but i'm not holding my breath.

work was alright, i guess.

i can't believe i only have three days left. and tonight is my last on-call.

i had a chat with a coworker who's also finishing up on wednesday. turns out he's been in touch with a bunch of others who left, and we're all leaving for pretty much the same reasons...

i think it's bedtime. i'm feeling dysfunctional and i've been watching random shit on youtube for the past couple of hours. i must admit, i'm feeling quite relieved by this analysis from the tom nash report. i'm feeling a lot more at ease than i have since the ceasefire was announced. on the other hand, i'm both very grateful for each hostage returned, and heartbroken anew for each one, for different reasons. the story of avigail idan is so utterly ghoulish i just can't deal with it.