so tired

 i've been up for more than an hour but i still feel like i'm in that soft, in-between state where i was lying comfortably for the first time all night but neither asleep nor awake. now i'm sitting here sipping coffee after helping mr smear out with little big planet 3, which i took a risk on last night and was pleasantly surprised to find that it works decently on the ps4.

thursday: i arrived at work, got over the next hurdle. it took a while to be confident that i'd resolved the main issue, but subsequently got hit by another one. that took all of my energy for the rest of the day, and when the third surprise landed i remembered that i'm not on-call and giggled uncontrollably while handing over the task to the poor guy who is.

i honestly hope he's had a quiet weekend.

i was *very* glad to reach the end of the day and say "fuck this, i'm out".

...

thursday evening was a mess. my mess, and i'm still feeling horrible about it. i tried to have a conversation with gd about a potential ski trip next year, and only after doing some damage did i realize that my internal concept of a ski trip - a solid week of nothing but snowboarding - is no longer appropriate as i'm now married with a child.

having painfully uncovered the root of the problem, our plans are now as follows: we try to get to montreal this winter if we can afford it, any part of winter there's snow but preferably around christmas time. although i had initially fantasized about going snowboarding there, it just doesn't seem feasible... and if by some miracle we can afford it, we try to go on a ski trip as a family.

maybe i'll even suck it up and take my family to the hermon. maybe. the idea of hitting the slopes alongside israelis who don't realize that using other people to stop isn't cool is not especially appealing to me.

...

yesterday morning was "me time", but i didn't really know what to do with it. i made a little progress on one of my personal projects, i played some of batman: arkham knight (definitely not for kids), read random things but couldn't keep focused.

we experienced a weird moment when a wolt delivery arrived on our doorstep with a thank you package from our now ex-neighbours that was decidedly not vegan (we kept the challah, put the rest of the lovely baked goods on a bench).

then we picked up mr smear, who'd had his second good school day in a row, picked up some stationery, bought sushi prep stuff and then spent the afternoon chilling. mr smear helped gd make sushi, we all stuffed ourselves.

i, as usual, put myself to sleep early reading the magic pudding to mr smear - i love that he's old enough to enjoy it! - and then woke up restless and with a stiff knee in the middle of the night. i joined gd who was just completing a binge-watch of kevin hart's true story, and when she went to bed i watched a couple of episodes of rick and morty (i'm quite behind) before turning in again.

...

i'm still re-reading neuromancer. i'm perpetually fascinated that all i remembered from my first read was an opening scene moment completely irrelevant to the story, and a massive spoiler that i still haven't encountered yet, but pretty much nothing about the plot or the myriad brilliant moments and ideas along the way. it may be outdated in many respects, but it's still a phenomenal piece of work and highly entertaining.