too-long weekend

 working backwards:

 i don't know if i'm cut out to be a software developer for the rest of my life. sometimes i feel like the thing that really separates us from the rest of humanity - the thing that makes us worth the money we're paid - is the willingness to persevere through a never-ending world of broken tooling to get to the point where we can actually do what we *think* it is that we do, which is write code.

 i've now spent most of my weekend - and a large part of that is time i'd set aside to do some actual work - trying to get my new computer configured so that i can repurpose the other machines and get on with my life. the new computer is fantastic. the new internet connect is fantastic. trying to get software building on virtual machines using shared folders is torture.

 birthday stuff: mr smear's birthday was great, but he's been so damned difficult since turning five, so defiant and seemingly incapable of listening to the most basic instructions...  the worst was yesterday, when we went to protoplasm's to pick up his new, very expensive big-boy bicycle. he seemed excited, then got scared, then decided he simply didn't want it. the cowardice and lack of gratitude were deeply disappointing, i may understand intellectually that he's only five but emotional i'm still quite bitter. then this morning we had a zoom birthday party for him and a few friends, it was freaking weird (obviously nobody else got to eat the cake).

friday was utterly unproductive, i was supposed to be making up for it this afternoon but it's now 2.30pm and i'm still trying to get my computer set up. i need a break.