monday's gonna monday

difficulty getting mr smear out of bed, an intense discussion about parenting (and foster-parenting) with my mother along the way, dropping mr smear off at school, and then beginning the workday with a conversation about coffee addiction that led to me stopping again (after a guilty first cup).

first meeting of the day: toxicity from toxic crusader in a situation where i'd have been the asshole if i'd stood up for myself, leading me to want to curse in quebecoise and decide that i'd rather be somewhere else. kinda. i'm less conflicted now about leaving, and after some back and forth with the guy i met with on thursday i'm waiting to hear if they can afford me.

so i stewed a bit over lunch, then walked in to the second meeting unprepared to spend the entirety of it being grilled about the work i've been doing over the past couple of weeks. i thought it went really badly, but my manager was full of praise once it was over and now i'm having flashbacks from an article i recently read about my employer and wondering how i ended up in such an unenjoyable space.

i spent the remainder of the afternoon housecleaning, left early with the intention of going to the gym and then realized that between a sore shoulder and a desire to record my podcast episode that probably wasn't a good idea. instead, i spent a mostly relaxed evening with my family, crushed my four year old's rebellion* and then, after saying goodnight, finally sat down to record. which is when my nose and throat suddenly closed up. i don't know what that's all about.

* i keep telling him not to play with the toilet paper when he's on the toilet, and tonight he became defiant and yelled "don't tell me what to do!". so i told him that it's *my* toilet paper because i paid for it, and when he argued with me i told him that in that case, he's going to have to work to earn the toilet paper and going to work means no school, friends or toys. boy, did that go down well. our shower immediate afterwards was fine, though, and when i was drying him i tried to have a discussion about what had transpired... but when i started with "i love you" he cut me off before the "but" with "i love you too, daddy" and at that point the conversation was over.

so i finally got my (slightly nasal) podcast episode recording, i'm most of the way through the editing already but it's almost midnight so i'm calling it a night and going to bed.

i hope tomorrow's not another monday.