1.20am finally testing a working solution after days of hunting, then entering a rabbit hole of encryption details to ensure that it's safe as well
1.50am finally being able to go to bed after struggling to back up my code and update SxS
a diaper change while half asleep and then handing mr smear over to gd to stay in bed almost until 8
great project success (exciting!), leaving late for kirstenbosch and mr smear falling asleep in the car so enjoying lunch at cavendish instead
the long drive home, trying to lie down and being jump-started by an out of control diaper change shower, coffee and work before taking mr smear for a stroll
old schoolmates and their kids, generally pleasant and i hope i didn't come across too strong when discussing food choices
the rush to feed mr smear before heading to the spur without gd to meet cousins i haven't seen in years, my mom giving me some time to eat and converse but mr smear becoming more wound up as it crept further past his bedtime
home, quickly putting him to bed then diving into recruiter responses then documentation
friday 6th:
eventually turning in around 1am
up early and resting on the couch desperate for actual sleep and not managing; getting gd to the chiropractor, picking up my now seriously cool shirts* and sending mr smear off with his nanny before catching up with a glorious couple of hours dreaming insanely weird and wonderful dreams (why was the business owner's mother getting off the gynaecologist's table in the promotional video? what was the point of the dancer in the elephant costume?)
* which after a couple of wears have proven to be shitty quality prints after all. ****er.
a little work while determining whether mr smear would nap of not, then joining a group of parents at the grifizzi brothers animal-free circus for a really fun afternoon; not all the kids enjoyed it, but our whole family most certainly did (i'm a bit of a fan, now)
mr smear passing out on the way home, us deciding on an easy night with game of thrones, work and command & conquer (got to the point i got stuck when i played it in my teens)
saturday 7th:
mr smear singing in his sleep
and then it was 2am...
and then it was 6am... struggling, early emergency shopping downer, arriving at the temple for the last five minutes of the service, super awkward with an old high school substitute teacher, an inappropriate reaction concerning my father and an unnecessarily harsh response to the offer of cheesecake
a brilliant call to try the museum and enjoying the company gardens with an israeli family and the squirrels and doves
nap time (thanks, sneaker pimps), a new frankenstein series and lunch, no idea what happened between then and mr smear waking up, a very interesting chat with sailor and his enthusiasm for my nursery rhyme project, mr i-don't-wanna-go-outside-i'm-drawing, a freak gust of wind at the park but mr smear sliding alone, jungle-gyming like a pro, inspiring a new rhyme reboot (helicopter blades), then peaceably coming home when i realized his favourite part of the jungle gym was covered in ice cream
the jerk parked on the pedestrian crossing and me responsibly walking away from a fight i really wanted (physically, not verbally)
mr smear's dinner and bedtime prep, then trying and failing to watch spiderman: homecoming, eventually giving up and resuming guardians of the galaxy 2
sunday 8th:
up early, howl's moving castle and watching mr smear happily drawing
a big and uncomfortable discussion about what to do if cape town runs out of water
taking mr smear to kirstenbosch, being extra careful about the sun and using plenty of sunscreen but still getting burned, ending a long walk by grabbing another kid's balloon, driving home yawning while mr smear slept soundly, enjoying his nap, a lazy-ish afternoon, my mom coming over for bedtime, spiderman: homecoming (definitely my favourite spiderman) and working well
monday 9th:
until 1am, waking up 6 as if i'd unslept to "butterfly!" whines and cries, a couple of hours on the couch before i was able to function, dropping off mr smear, really struggling to be productive and eventually napping (a lot longer than planned because the first attempt failed), getting a little work done then dropping gd off at the chiropractor and hanging around the school with mr smear until she was done
two or three hours until mr smear finally went down (to a lullaby of his choosing: b. i. n. g. o.), but managing a few important phone calls and getting some work done anyway
my sister's birthday: her daughter's gift to her was announcing that i'm going to be a great uncle soon! and my sister's going to be a biker granny!
a telephone interview beginning with me stopping the call to extract apple skin from mr smear's teeth (YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!), but very interesting nonetheless, mr smear helping me shop and ending the day realizing that if it wasn't for school he'd have been in front of the telly all day - although in our defense he spent a fair amount of time leveling up his drawing skills and we're very proud that he started (by himself!) trying to colour in inside the lines and was largely successful ^_^
game of thrones s7e6 was exquisitely painful
completing a milestone and crashing before midnight
tuesday 10th:
6.30am slightly-better-than-zombie-state, crazy baby rhymes and the demented soccer ball people, postponing my laser hair removal until march due to excessive sun exposure, noticing that my greying beard is looking more and more like muttonchops, a busy and productive morning, picking mr smear up and teaching his teacher a bit about nutrition, his traumatic best friend goodbyes
work and paint tool struggles (gimp plugins are hard work), test driving the car and deciding to go with it (!)
taking mr smear to the park in the blazing sun to play with his friend from earlier, feeling like i was saying too much to his mother, awkwardly avoiding a milk product that she was sure would be fine (people just don't understand how pervasive dairy is, it's in EVERYTHING), coming home and getting things - including work- done, gd really struggling with her neck, CRA fail
game of thrones still surprised me with the things that i thought had been spoiled before
finally getting my paint tools sorted out and learning about bleed
wednesday 11th:
calling it a day at 1am, two hours after i knew i needed to go to bed
up repeatedly for a long four hours (lots of interrupted interesting dreams), 6am wake up breaking me but gd managing to give me an hour or so of unbroken rest
the relief that gd's fingerprints were received and accepted, another excited recruiter contact, a misty morning used to deliver printworthy documents
picking up mr smear and gd (acupuncturist) together, dr horrible following us from the car to the living room, mr smear eating gd's chickpea and spinach curry, lego grip slip jeopardizing nap time, a short but helpful nap, then an afternoon navigating bureaucracy (south african for our nanny - "just go to our website", canadian for our taxes "email within the next couple of years")
groceries (wedding ring included, i caught it in time to hand it back)
gd in trouble, surviving the evening
thursday 12th:
gd still in trouble
better sleep, visiting glendale (highly emotional moment and some really awkward ones), everything conspiring to wake mr smear from his nap when we got home, my first print trial in production, mr smear loving his first slide but too nervous for the second, rushing home to let sailor in and then dragging him out again to bootlegger (an interesting and productive meeting and mr smear enjoying himself immensely), mom paying for our car (!), dropping gd off at home and taking mr smear for a run through the waterfront before returning home to eat, shower and manage mr smear's last breastfeeding
friday 13th:
sleeping well in short blocks trying to get up to work, succeeding at 4am and working hard, continuing even after mr smear woke up and joined me
gd going to the doctor, the nanny taking mr smear out just as she returned and after he made me so angry it took all i had to a) not give him a beating* and b) calm down after he got the message that i was really mad
* the final straw was him throwing his toothbrush into a bin filled with toilet trash
a disheartening chat with my accountant, a quick review of options with my mom, lots of work and mistaken commit fixing and my mom signing for the car and finally returning the rental in friday afternoon traffic, picking up the new car so tired i was hallucinating (thank the dealership for the water and coffee)
a comfortable drive home, shopping, family kiddush and the first bedtime without breastfeeding since he was born (a little sadness but no drama)
a very short nap until rls (or sciatica, or whatever the hell is wrong with my legs), then being responsible until midnight (okay, a little c&c too - finally completing the first commando mission!)
saturday 14th:
sleeping badly and pinching a nerve in my neck, spending the rest of the night trying to sort it out and waking up with painful lower back too
a day of lost patience and perspective, the rabbi's son's barmitzvah, afternoon nap
liquorice paternity test passed
meeting cousins at my mom's and mr smear eating all my sorbet, mistakenly hosting another cousin instead of visiting her, dinner difficulties but an easy bedtime with an unintentionally long dr seuss book
finally seeing ant man, which was surprisingly entertaining, then settling in to learn about hashicorp's vault before crashing
sunday 15th:
waking up to a snappy morning and feeling like crap, a very unpleasant way to take mr smear to the aquarium, a long but overall good time there, him eating half a falafel laffa and passing out on the way home; the new car's dimensions are taking some getting used to and i was sure i bumped the back leaving
kind of napping (restless), followed by an explosion that had been building for a while, taking a walk, talking through it and grabbing a cup of coffee at my mom's on my way home
meeting protoplasm and his partner for drinks at quay four, mr smear possibly causing a waitress to drop full glasses, but definitely breaking mine directly with his toy car
mr smear interfering with my rice and vegan korma dinner, which was only mildly annoying until he poured a cup of juice into it; i was so tired and weary and it really made me want to cry
a pleasant shower and bedtime, the rest of the thor sequel (try saying that ten times fast), passing out early
monday 16th:
waking up around 1am and spending a couple of hours investigating hashicorp's consul, a couple of hours sleeping, another early morning and mr smear snotty so no school
working at bootlegger waiting for gd, shopping, home, shopping again, then driving to the printer to pick up my book sample - really not bad, but not amazing either
picking up garlic bread that i wouldn't eat (does it have to be made with real butter?), buying plasticware and dropping everything off before heading to my mom's to work
making good progress but having to rush home in cold, wet and windy weather without a warm layer, then taking mr smear to a friend's to play; the older child pushing mr smear roughly, but otherwise just an hour or two of playing and talking before rushing home in time to catch my mom teaching gd about eggplants
showering in a bucket, mr smear's "police car" issue interfering with bedtime, a loooong good night, work demo, dc's legends of tomorrow and crashing
tuesday 17th:
up at five to hunt down a phantom hammer, a horrific dream in which mr smear drowned followed by another sneaking around a container ship with steve-o and peter dinklage diving in water tanks and gaming the security guards
a swollen and painful wrist (the return of the repetitive stress injury exacerbated by lifting a squirmy mr smear and heavy buckets of water)
it would be nice if being a man had protected me from being sexually harassed or assaulted. the fact that "i can take care of myself" didn't make the experiences any less unpleasant and violating, and i believe that for women it's so much worse.posting that on tuesday brought up a couple of incidents, one in particular of me being surprised and overpowered by a very large man and barely being able to break away mumbling some meaningless excuse; yesterday i learned that a guy i used to hang out with a lot went from run-of-the-mill "asshole" to sexual predator and life destroyer.
it's so prevalent, but we don't really see or feel it without this kind of concerted effort.
it was my own experiences in my late teens that made me acutely aware of how my own behaviour, which i'd innocently believed was cute and harmless, was not. if you see something, stand up against it. if you hear about something, support the victim by listening, not by justifying. be prepared to lose teeth for this, our children are next.
work
intense jackhammer work beginning as i put mr smear down for his nap, fortunately it was only about 75-80 decibels
our c# expert trying soften the blows while explaining my mistakes to me, infuriating git issues and a busy, bored and restless child
dropping gd off at the temple, the oven taking so long to heat up that i could only feed mr smear at around 8pm; shower, bedtime story, and then saying good night as the hammering started
shouting at the assholes continuing to hammer at 9pm, one of them daring to tell me "we're not idiots" and getting an earful in return, including me yelling at him to go tell his mother what he's doing to other people because i'm sure she'd be proud
gd coming home and us learning that videotron never closed our account when we left canada and expects us to pay for their mistake (we confirmed that we had closed the account before we left and returned their equipment)
a long meeting, enjoying antonio banderas in security, then investigating azure solutions
wednesday 18th:
until 1.30am
the usual, dropping mr smear off and chatting with a friend about child psychology, picking up gd and heading to the waterfront for gift books (who titles a book "turtles all the way down" without referencing the discworld?!), a passable vegan muffin (and a free smoothie voucher), leaving in good time and being stuck behind a few idiots all the way to the chiropractor; taped wrist, pinched back, a recommendation to swim.
the rental tribunal's bad timing, picking up mr smear and heading home. waking up from a nap needing it more desperately than before, eventually going to my mother's to work for an hour or so, coming home in a rush and gd deciding not to take the now-napping mr smear to the triple birthday party
a very interesting interview over coffee at the waterfront, getting through the evening with my mom bringing sorbet, reading mr smear to sleep, dc's legends of tomorrow and chocolate and liquorice
the police authorizing 11.30 hammering
azure investigations
thursday 19th:
until 1am
a chilled morning, getting mr smear to school late, picking up an emergency allergex bottle and taking it to his teacher before returning home; i have no idea how i got into or out of the parking without hitting the cars in front or behind me
briefly home then taking gd to the chiropractor, where he stuck a couple of needles in my arm while treating her, then back home to receive a document from the car dealer before returning to the school to pick up mr smear
a badly failed attempt to instigate a nap, a long afternoon, taking mr smear to buy diapers, ride on the blue train and some little girl's bike, get him ready to hand over to my mother and then head to the temple with gd for her class
an amusing hebrew class and a fascinating bible class, coming home to the remains of dinner and a fight triggered by not debating an article by a black cop deconstructing black lives matter
friday 20th:
passing out at 12.30 from exhaustion
really struggling with my wrist, waking up early and sleeping on the couch until the nanny arrived, showering mr smear before class with much tears
working at my mom's, picking up mr smear and returning a for sudden, painful migraine and difficulty with cookies and CORS - i originally wrote migraine, meaning "painful headache", but it turned into a very serious one that left me utterly debilitated; i barely managed the walk home, threw up a lot and couldn't help gd with mr smear in the slightest. the nausea and dizziness subsided in the evening, the pain would only start relaxing in the morning
saturday 21st:
getting out of bed around midnight, tired but restless, for an episode of big mouth, toast and patton oswalt: annihilation which is an absolute must-see
a morning on the couch, dropping gd at the temple and taking myself and mr smear to the doctor who checked me out and gave me advice for managing migraines, fifteen minutes paying for the parking guard to learn how to charge me with snapscan, then fifteen minutes of buying bananas with a baby and locked up express queues, then finally! getting to the temple to pick up gd and go to the blue train
not going to the blue train because of a cold wind, but picking up bread and smoothies and coming home to nap with jackhammers at our windows
patton oswalt again and more big mouth, mr smear getting up *as* i lay down, lunch (starting with begged-for sorbet with a portion that ended in tears), gd and mr smear going on the blue train before i dropped her back home (still too cold) and took him to the aquarium for a good experience that would have been so much better if it hadn't been for the coin-op distraction
a little walk around to smoke other people's cigarettes, then back home stopping only briefly for an emergency extraction of dried mango from the bag and getting stuck chasing after mr smear on the parking lot rooftop for a while
late dinner and mom's visit, shower and bedtime and mr smear not impressed by my not finishing the whole book but eventually falling asleep anyway
the end of a stephen king movie, big mouth excellence and a bit of marc maron: too real
going to bed around 11pm with concern for an episode on the other side
sunday 22nd:
up early with a very bored, curious and naughty boy, mr smear sneaking onto the balcony and causing a panic fight, flower for the ps3, strawberry farm anxiety, clothing breakdown
a stupidly hot day
keeping mr smear awake until we got to my mom's shop, learning that tool manufacturers are tools, and whoever made pozidriv so similar to phillips is a piece of crap. why don't we learn this stuff in school?
vida's new "falafels" taste like it's made by someone who's heard of falafel and knows it's made of chickpeas but has neither seen or tasted it
a visit to my aunt's, mr smear thoroughly loving the swimming pool (i hope their water's coming straight off the mountain)
home to nap and work, then grocery shopping (checkers was out of a bunch of things, a manager made gd take some violife), watching asterix in britain, shower (inverting the bucket system made it easier and distracted mr smear) and dinner and bedtime
half an hour of "why didn't you finish dr seuss?" from my son (it's a bloody long book, that's why), big mouth (still phenomenal) and watermelon, then work
monday 23rd:
and then some posting. now a few more minutes of marc maron and bed.
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