aspixiation

i suddenly realized (or remembered?) that being diagnosed with stress in the sixth grade makes perfect sense for a kid perpetually adjusting for undiagnosed asperger's. and that constant, inexplicable outsider status and victimization during childhood isn't such a mystery any more. last night i finally understood what gd has been referring to as my "insistence", and that it's the reason my coworkers never understand that my talking about something does not mean that i expect it to be handled right now.

i cannot *get* how i'm supposed to soften the edges of my speech when i can only interpret that as "don't talk about things that bother or excite you, especially if they're important to you".

it sounds to me like i have a tone that i produce when i feel that i need to be heard and it makes people not want to listen. and that i repeat myself when i don't feel like what i'm saying is appreciated.