broken valentine

as i mentioned last night, i ran into pulse on the bus to godmother's, and she was polite. polite. that's not at all what i was expecting. i didn't know what to make of it, but this morning she sent me a message so i figured things might be fine... but then she ignored my response (which included a question). later i wrestled with an email letting her know how i feel (i put way too much effort into it not coming across too heavy), and since then i haven't heard a word from her. i feel like i deserved something back, at least. even something negative. i don't know what i did or didn't do, but this is obviously not working. which makes me sad, because aside from whatever the hell's going on (or not?) she's awesome. but not so awesome that i'm okay with being ignored. nobody's that awesome.

---the hours flew by pretty quickly today, i spent most of them on french and some on random shit. including reporting a phishing attempt to bell that's apparently been driving them crazy: an sms with a link to a legitimate bell.ca url that's been hacked to steal account data.

i spoke to somebody today who seemed positive about employing me... that felt good.

i went to the french conversation meetup, and was far more confident! i also learned some helpful things. and that i have lots more to learn and practice.

i took my frustrations with pulse into boxing class with me, which i knew wasn't cool, but managed to offload them quickly enough. or put them aside, at least. i worked with army brat, and we did impact at the end of the class. she seemed to be hitting me pretty hard, and expressed shock at how much tougher i am, but i didn't really feel much even when she hit my soft spots (solar plexus and liver) and i can't help but question if it's me who's tougher or her who's weaker. and then i felt super embarrassed when i hit her so hard that she apparently peed a little.

*sigh*

i chatted with her and the girl i gave the chocolate to on friday after class, mostly in french. i suspect that the girl who got the chocolate might actually have taken it as a serious romantic gesture. that would be awkward!

i've been working on memorizing the first two poems that i posted last week, and i'm quite pleased that they're already feeling ready to be shared on stage ^_^

i chugged a protein shake and went to vfmp's to watch another episode of house of cards. vfmp, his boyfriend and his brother are all 100% vegans, and it was most validating to hear them enthusiastically agreeing with me in response to their reading my vegans unite! post. it seems we are united!

episode seven of house of cards is a clear improvement and i feel like the season is almost back on track.

---scrapper has introduced me to the idea of chess boxing. certainly not for me, but interesting nonetheless. hmm. perhaps if tekken replaced chess...

this video gives a little perspective on the bds movement.