evaluation

lying in bed this morning, i found myself morbid and miserable. i think it's the first time i've really had an opportunity to think about pg's leaving without distraction, and for some time all rationalization went out the window and i just felt really awful about it.

i'm still not feeling great physically - i'm pretty sure that i'm not entirely healthy but i'm not sure that i'm actually sick as such. my head's definitely not in the right place, i've been feeling stupid and demotivated for a while, and i think i do need to just wallow a little. am i repeating myself? i don't care.

so... i have a list of things i really need and want to do, and zero inclination to do any of it. this is a problem. i eventually pulled myself out of bed, read a long and painful article about gilad shalit, read a very good response to holocaust denial, figured out what's missing from my 2010 travel posts, practiced a bit of french...

---what an absolutely stunning revelation! i'm filled with hope, wonder, and general awe. allan savory's ted talk is a must-see, he explains a breakthrough discovery about climate change that's counter-intuitive and inspiring.

i'm rethinking my veganism / supplementarianism since last night: it's such a mission in these parts. it might be healthier, but it makes life complicated. and, well, if what this world needs is more cattle and sheep...