to blog, or not to blog

my blogging is not as much about sharing as it is about hoarding precious moments of the past. sometimes i find myself digging through old posts for a reference, and am delighted or horrified at the weird little nothings i noted and promptly forgot. but there's a dark side to my habit, and that's that it's become ingrained that everything that prompts an emotional response gets written down and must be compiled later. it's totally ocd. i thought that twitter would bear some of the load, but when twitter stopped playing well with blogger (and everyone else) that option went out the window.

i have too much stuff to do and plenty of time to do it, if i focus on those tasks instead of trying to juggle all the elements of the big picture simultaneously. on the one hand, blogging helps me by letting me put everything down. on the other, does it really help me? i mean, here i am, on pseudo-holiday, contemplating whether or not my journal is of any practical value to me any more.

---thursday:

thursday began slowly: you know that feeling when it's cold outside and warm under the covers, and your body's in a perfectly comfortable position and the last thing you want to do is move?

the news of the day: hearing that the big guys all think i'm the bee's knees and will have my back if the work permit application starts dragging too much. that feels good.

after much struggling, it was exciting getting a linux box up and running on my laptop. vmware versus virtualbox? suck it, virtualbox. vmware totally kicks ass.

also, i wrote a perl script to transcribe svn logs into a database, and i was pleased when it worked first time as intended and didn't take very long.

i went to my aunt's for a great dinner; yin had just returned from bc and everyone was in high spirits. her friend brought dessert, decadently delicious chocolate balls. i was the only one who wasn't ashamed to have more than one, and so scored the leftovers when i left :)

zenstar invited me to try out rad soldiers: in the past four days i've become enthralled. it looks good, it plays well, the challenges are fun and the soundtrack gets stuck in your head and makes you want to play some more.

---friday:

how do normal people pick up dry cleaning between 9-6? i had to choose between getting it on the way to the office or not going snowboarding on the weekend. so if i'd been able to see the future i wouldn't have ventured out in the slush (and then rain) to pick up my trousers.

---i tried and failed to imagine what doing work that entails digging through slush to enter a manhole must feel like. i briefly watched, and felt humbled.

---the metro was overheated, and there was a man nonchalantly clipping his nails on the train.

friday was a day of speeches, wishes and alcohol in the office. it was a little disorientating (the latter in particular), but very pleasant. i was invited to interview a potential new employee; he got my thumbs up, and i'm impressed that my inebriation didn't make things awkward :P

we had a christmas lunch at the indian restaurant, and the spicy eggplant was so delicious that i couldn't stop eating. that held me up until i got home, when i pigged out on junk food and watched one piece and passed out.

i slept too long, waking up around midnight to make dinner and go back to bed.

---saturday:

i woke up early enough to hit the slopes, but was so exhausted that i chose to get back into bed. making such a choice between fresh powder and sleep is pathetic, and i'd pay for it thrice. once, in the actual price which doubles if you're not on the first bus, twice because all modes of transportation were packed. long queues and uncomfortable rides. thrice because, well, fresh powder. there was still a lot of snow when i arrived, but a lot of ice was exposed too :(

and all of that for what? i wasn't feeling good, no matter how incredibly beautiful the day was, and i have to admit that the disadvantages of being alone outweighed the advantages. to make matters worse, my boots didn't sit right and that made everything a lot harder. to make things even worse, when i sat down for a cup of hot chocolate there was a fire drill and we all had to go outside.

my last two or three runs were better (i'd figured out that i needed to redraw my laces each time) and were fun, and i fortunately saw a clock an hour before the bus was to arrive and so i knew to scramble. i had just enough time for the last run, a sandwich, and the walk to saint sauveur's village. i gotta tell you, that village is surreally charming with its quiet, snow-covered streets and cheery christmas jazz music gently playing through synchronized speakers. i didn't want to wait outside (-13 at night, with wind) so i entered the macdonald's and ordered their crap coffee (the good machine was being cleaned), and took it outside to wait with me for the bus.

the relief of getting on the bus home was intense. if you miss the 9.30 bus, there's no fallback, and getting stuck out there would totally suck.

---sunday:

i got home at midnight, watched one piece and showered and passed out, exhausted. i was too tired to hit the slopes, and more importantly, i wasn't feeling it. i could say the same about today. i feel kinda guilty, but if i'm not in an agreeable mood then screw it.

i stayed in bed late, played rad soldiers and read the new lookouts comic, fell asleep listening to a french lesson podcast, and then eventually got out of bed to talk to pg for a bit.

i left the apartment to take my boots back. the guys at poubelle du ski are heroes! we eventually found boots that fit, or seem to fit, perfectly, and although they're an upgrade the salesman gave me the slip with a wink and told me that if anyone asks i returned the same model ^_^
they're ridiculously purple, but i think i can live with that.

the weather was cold, but beautiful, and i didn't mind discovering that i'd walked in the wrong direction (boy, was i not concentrating) and i eventualy made my way back. i stopped at subway for a sandwich - it wasn't good at all - then dropped off my boots at home, had a long chat with sorter, and went shopping.

the chat with sorter was a bit dark; -someone sent a mail during the week and it basically said that he was investing time in making the code, and the coding process, more complicated than it needed to be and that everything he's done until now is fine as a proof-of-concept but needs to be redone if we want an actual product. sorter was upset with me because my response was less than enthusiastic. i'm deeply disappointed and i hope we can salvage something.

copywriter called me up on skype and i made and ate dinner while we chatted. i'd finally watched the first part of the century of the self which he'd suggested a while ago. i can't recall watching something so distressing and so riveting at the same time. depressingly enlightening. it certainly puts things in perspective, and it's only the first part :(

---today:

i went to bed early hoping i'd be good for the mountains today, but i woke up feeling uninspired. now that i'm up, and i've talked to my mum (who's also on holiday), and posted this, i'm ready to pay my cousins a visit and do the same stupid christmas eve shopping as everyone else: i have only one gift i'm giving, and i didn't think to buy a card :S