return to the dark

i've been exhausted all evening, if not most of the day. i spent most of the day trying to figure out and fill out forms - i didn't get far at all :(

in the evening we went out to the beach with pg's parents and brother; it's the first time this summer that the two of us have been in the water. the water was warm - bath warm - but the experience was immensely pleasurable. after the sun went down we had dinner on the beach, which would have been delightful had i thought to bring a change of shorts: my boardies didn't dry well and itched me demented.

we walked home slowly, showered, and i decided that i needed to get to bed early, but upon putting my kindle down i began to stress. stress, like back when i left the army and my life was in complete shambles.

i think i know what this is about. i think it's about having a plate so full that my appetite's been scared away. i have things that *have* to be sorted out, like taxes and insurance and work, and things that I *want* to sort out, like my comic script and my thesis proposal, and things i *need* to sort out like sorter's project and... and two enormous life changes, one of which requires tedious hard work and a level of bureaucratic proficiency that i'm not certain i'm really capable of.

of course, when faced with really difficult tasks what one most desires is to do anything else. human psychology is fantastic. i hope i don't develop an ulcer.