needing hugs

monday:

two good classes, one on the grass
sonnet scanning
the formal "good job" speeches:
realization dawns

the new office: too much QA. hours and hours just to find the simple bug :(

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from an argument that took place after i commented on a new awareness campaign addressing aggressive driving habits:

it intrigues me that you guys are so defensive about something that we all acknowledge is a serious problem in this country, and with a lot of israelis that go abroad - it may not be an israeli-only problem, this macho-aggressive פרייר-paranoia shit [the fear of being a sucker], but it is an israeli problem that our people take all over the world with them.

and we, of all the people in the middle east, should be above that kind of thing.

don't generalize! that's so racist! but the truth is, generalizations are the way that the human mind functions. and [an american friend] just happens to be on our side - do you think that people who aren't jewish and haven't lived here are as fair-minded as you'd like them to be?

this country is a cultural absurdity and it's destroying itself from the inside. whether the fighting is on the road or in the marketplace, it's israelis doing it and israelis who are suffering it, and you don't have to be a racist or an elitist or arrogant to figure that out. you can call [an american friend] anything you want, he lives in a place where, currently, people treat each other with a lot more respect. it doesn't matter whether it's fake or not.

and we're talking about LA. that's kind of a harsh indictment. maybe not every israeli behaves that badly, but more than enough do that it makes the rest of our lives unpleasant and uncomfortable.

criticism is fine - god knows i do it all the time, but labeling people as aggressive assholes just because of their place of birth is bigoted and arrogant.

no, we're labelling people as aggressive assholes because that's what they are. you've obviously missed the point of what i was trying to say in [an american friend]'s defense - [an american friend] generalizing is not the problem. there are two real problems:

1. EVERYONE generalizes, and most people see us the way [an american friend] described even if it's not true 100% of the time

2. we have a problem here. a real problem with aggressive behaviour. and i, for one, am not just criticizing but doing my best to get as far away from here because i don't want my kids to grow up in such a hateful environment.

no, not everyone sucks. but enough do to make it unpleasant. there are wonderful people here. and that is irrelevant.

...
from a later discussion with the same person:
i think the biggest issue here is a crisis of democracy - democracy in its current form essentially means that whoever has the most progeny dictates the order of the country. the second we treat the vote as something to be earned through active participation for the good of the nation - military / national service, community service, taxes etc. and stop rewarding outmoded and dangerous behaviour (hello, overpopulated world with limited resources) we'll be able to consider things like letting non-jews become legitimate members of our society.

on the other note, a fundamental element of judaism is criticism and analytical thinking; not to mention hillel's take on loving one's brothers - senseless hatred, in my opinion, is the primary mode of the ultra-orthodox: i'd rather be a good jew by being a good person than by being identified with a bunch of hate-mongering primitives. i can only justify that last sentence by the fact that my irreligious behaviour disqualifies me from my nation in the eyes of those i'm complaining about.

i'm not entirely shocked by the utter absurdity of the law in the case of illegal immigrants - who can now be imprisoned without trial for up to three years - because we know which side of the table called for it. it bothers me that if such a call had been made by the other side, it would have been for the loss of a jewish state. it's a lose-lose system.

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beers with ze germans to say farewell to the british one had many pleasant moments, but was rife with politics and a mutual sense of dissatisfaction.

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tuesday:

our stupid french teacher surprised us by informing us that our friday morning make-up sessions would include a test :(

after class i went home with pg, picked up my rollerblades and went back to the store for a long string of disappointing news. nope, no solutions available. they were nice about it, at least. i tried on a bunch of inners and each one had its advantages and disadvantages.

i bussed straight to work for a bug hunt and what i felt was a disappointment to the boss. swak feeling. i returned home for a great dinner, wrapped up my ankles and wore two layers of thick socks, and braved the cold for what turned into a great skate! aside from ankle hair removal when i removed the bandages, the ride was mostly comfortable as long as i held my foot correctly. so not ideal, but doable. perhaps, i pray, a sign that i won't need to invest in another pair.

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wednesday:

i worked another 3.30am special, then spent 3.5 hours fighting unconsciously over blankets, woke up tipping over a full cup of water and used the wrong towels to dry it up - happy wednesday! that was followed by long, cold-faced bussing and walking, and i only discovered once i arrived on campus that i'd made the right choice of bus lines.

we had a great class! i made a joke about "sigma freud" and was shocked to discover that our professor had made the same joke a few years back and had been slammed for it :P
also, for the first time, she covered the board with signs and symbols and i actually found it readable. i must have been hallucinating :P

to work - more of a cold face and wishing i'd remembered the scarf that pg made for me.

i left work early with a good feeling (but no brolly for the rain), finally having gotten things functional. i'd left an hour earlier than i'd had to (i'd confused the hour), so i met with pg for a decent lunch, a miserable cup of coffee and then a few minutes on the comfiest chairs on campus - it was raining outside, we were warm, and i sunk in for a deep sleep that i was most forlorne to be dragged out of. but the class i got up for was fantastic, and i've come to the conclusion that china mieville - iron council is awesome, and i will buy it at some stage. (or steal it, if i can't buy it).

my hair was super greasy - was it baking soda and lemon juice time? one more day.

i couldn't rest, so we went shopping; arrival back home had me upset. no hot water and having to go down to turn on the generator in the rain (like in jurassic park) + the motorcycle nuisance making that difficult + getting my ski-jacket zipper properly stuck + failure to open dinner's zip-loc bag = aggravation.

at least work was fun, i got to do some real problem solving again ^_^

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thursday:

two great classes, and a super-strange moment when co-conspirator took offense to our lecturer's sense of humour and refused to speak to him (???). the orientation class was fun and interesting, and was followed by screenings of samurai jack, hellsing and afro samurai. all brilliant!

the experience was marred by my lunch - i won't be buying a sandwich from the webb cafeteria again. a glove on her left hand, and while i was making up my mind she scratched her hair with her right. i figured that as long as she didn't use that one it wouldn't be a problem, but then she did. ugh. and i was too embarrassed to point it out. while my mind was reeling, she then reached her hand into her shirt for another scratch. compounded embarrassment, and i resolved to think india and hope not to get sick. lice sandwich? *knocks wood* i think it was okay. it was delicious :P

note-to-self: i don't get to complain about a lack of weekends because my thursdays are so much fun :D

the paid-for lecture in the evening was painful to watch. i was unimpressed by the lack of sophistication of the subject matter and its presentation. thought highlights:
connor mead in ghosts of girlfriends past is a wona-miser. the movie, much like dickens' a christmas carol, is very spectre-torial.
aside from captain obvious' conclusions that the movie is similar in a number of respects to the dickens novel, i was offended by the director / script writers' insinuations that not appreciating the institution of marriage equates to excessive materialism. being a misogynist is a sad / bad thing, but hollywood values aren't any better.

i did not study hard for the french test. but i did use baking soda and vinegar on my scalp. i think the baking soda was a pointless exercise, but the vinegar? that shit works fast! and well! and i blabbed about it.

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friday:

horrid, early, rainy morning
forgetting the basics on the test
a shitty lesson, a cool cat sitting on class laps
a decent breakfast
some rest
dinner, drinks - and a lost voice over politics

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samsung makes future: the smart window.
jeet kei leung: it takes him quite a while to get interesting (and i don't like his style in general), but when he gets to the point he makes it really well! global culture through festivals

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will humans become extinct?
depends on your definition of "human", and how lucky we are. the odds of us becoming extinct soon (on earth) are fairly good, considering our dwindling resources, overpopulation, warmongering and weapons of mass destruction, not to mention the ease with which some new type of disease could spread through our global village.

if we evolve, either genetically, technologically, or both, we may well see ourselves escaping an unfortunate destruction and heading out to populate space. if that happens, we will have an opportunity to evolve far beyond our present concepts of humanity, and in that sense we not only might become extinct, but probably should.

having said that, what separates us from other beasts is our language and our ability to produce social narrative. as this feature might well survive whatever other transformations we may experience as a species, by this definition of humanity it is anyone's guess if it will survive as part of our descendants' genetic / social make-up or if some inherent communication / thought improvement will crop up