a short breath

i woke up this morning embarrassed and sad and angry and worried, with different angles of the up-and-coming conversation with the man in the suit flogging my neurons. and i think it's time i let him know what i think: if the security of my country is in your hands, we're all in deep shit.

i cleaned my apartment this morning, musing on how much easier it is than cleaning my head. while cleaning, i listened to the filthy muthas 2009 mix and the beeping of my cpu warning while the conversion worked hard to fail.

i suddenly realized that it was high time for pre-training food consumption, so i took my book of milton for a beef parisian and some sunshine. today's weather wasn't too bad, it's the first time in weeks that i left my windows open instead of using the air-conditioner :)

training: i went looking for a fight, and i found one. i began with some work on the heavy punching bags (the MMA guys were a little bewildered, i really did go nuts), and thus wore myself out before the warm-up. aside from a few seconds of weakness and feeling like i was going to throw up, the rest of the training was fine.

especially the fighting.
i don't remember ever managing to pull it together like i did today, i scared the bejeezus out of the lower ranks and scored appreciation from the black belts. no less important, i satisfied myself.

we also had a rather important debate about standards today, which most of us agreed upon. we're training with our instructor because they're high, she really doesn't need to treat us like anyone else would.

i came home, showered, inserted chords where i felt they were needed, and went shopping. once i got back home i sat catching up online and eating my sandwich (followed by a not-yet ripened mango, not great), then fought and won with the video conversation.

the painting above was something that just kinda came out... i think it's time i learned to layer things. i'm disappointed not only in my lack of technique, but also in its simplicity.

i'm shocked that it's this late already! and i thought i'd get some work done on the c++ project. i mean, i thought about it a little, sure...