the easter bunny

good friday:

i did nothing but lie on the couch reading and sleeping. that would have summed up the day if sweetiepie hadn't gotten in touch. going out for drinks with her would only have been more pleasureable if we hadn't picked a gay bar where the waiter felt obliged to put his hand on me every time he stopped at our table.

on saturday morning i paid my sister and her boyfriend a visit, had a cup of coffee with them and picked up the sleeping bag. soon after returning home protoplasm arrived, and we were off.

in short, with quite a lot of effort put into maintaining some form of chronological order:

• we arrived with the wind picking up, and i'm still surprised that our campsite didn't fold even at its peak. when the wind died down the sun's effect was made apparent for about half a day, and when we awoke on the last morning it was to break camp in the rain.
  
  the dancefloor began as lush green grass, but by yesterday morning was trampled and muddy. fortunately, the amount of rain was exactly right for stomping, and the temperature on the dancefloor was just north of cool and there's nothing better than dancing in the rain!


• during the course of the festival there were only two frightened children who i couldn't placate by waving and bobbing my head like it was on a spring. in addition to those two, there was one little girl whose father noticed that she was staring wide-eyed at me, and he lifted her up onto his knee and explained in a completely rational voice that this was what happened to children who don't listen to their daddies.


• a lot of people took photos of me or tried to follow me with video cameras, but some people were polite enough to ask me to pose for them. for every pose i stuck my bum at the camera - relatively few people had noticed the highly amusing tail that i'd affixed to my belt.
  some of those that did notice thought that grabbing it would be a good idea - i'm actually impressed that nobody managed to rip it off!


• we were discussing the hunt for tent-poles on the dancefloor, and THE vortex decorator (the decorations were incredible this year, as usual) not only pointed us towards bits that they'd discarded, but even offered to avail us of his chainsaw.
  awesome.


• wearing gumboots at night was an absolutely superb idea. i still managed to obtain a couple of nasty splinters when barefoot during the day, but milling around at night without worry was great.


• i thought i saw tgtbt walking towards the dancefloor, but it was dark so i wasn't quite certain. i followed her, and when i got close enough to be sure i greeted her and began chatting... only to be asked twenty seconds later to identify myself. her brother had simply forgotten to inform her of my get-up, so as soon as that was out the way we could actually chat for a bit before finding said brother on the dancefloor.
  
  i didn't see her again the entire time, which was a bit odd.


• the first morning's coffee mission involved hunting change, which basically meant waking up before drinking it :S


• while handing out marshmallows (i brought 50, and that definitely wasn't enough), i gave one to a tiny girl who got all excited... until she took a bite. apparently strawberry marshmallow isn't her thing, because she force-fed me the remainder. i suspect that that was to verify that it wasn't poison.


• i had an argument with someone who was trying to give me an easter egg, when i was standing there with one in each hand trying to give to others...


• one of the guys camping with us wasn't sober when he began chatting with a friend of his on the dancefloor, also not quite sober. i only saw the results of their conversation from a distance, however, and didn't have a clue that the initiation was such a frightening experience for our camping buddy until he came out of hiding quite a while later.
  
  in mid-sentence, his friend removed his shirt, and once he'd removed his underwear he asked our buddy why the hell he was still wearing clothes. from my vantage point, i just saw everyone take about twenty steps back, leaving this poor dude standing there naked, leaning on a stick, amusing the ladies with his lack of interest and smiling a smile that really is difficult to describe.
  
  he was removed from the dancefloor, only to re-appear about twenty minutes later. the security boys tried talking to him, but lost patience eventually and shoved him away.
  
  the debate that took place afterwards focused on the whether or not it's okay to get naked at a trance festival. i was accused of being just as bad with my freaky outfit, but most of us agreed that although my costume bothered a few people, it wasn't on the same level of offensive as nudity as far as most people are concerned.
  
  it's a society thing, killer bunnies are simply more acceptable.


• i was drinking a hunter's with a straw thoughtfully inserted through my mask by protoplasm's sister. some girl accosted me on the dancefloor, ripped the straw out of my mouth and demanded to know why i was wearing such a scary mask. she was aggressive enough that the guys behind me went on alert, and i just looked at her and stupidly threw away the opportunity to steal the perfect line from donnie darko: "why are you wearing such a scary mask?"


• i find it interesting that people that i'd danced with and chatted to while dressed up as the easter bunny had absolutely no clue that it was me, even when i (disguised as myself) continued conversations or displayed my tattoo.
  apparently a face mask really is all it takes!


• i was waiting for someone (see next item) by the chillout tent, and i found it really strange and disquieting that everyone in there was sitting and watching television. who goes to a festival to watch the telly?


• a girl who i last saw in 1997 (we'd spent about half a year in israel in '96 together) arrived in the morning, and i know she'd paid attention to my messages because she didn't scream when the easter bunny immediately picked her up in a bear hug and jumped around with her for a bit.
  
  we met up on sunday night to sit and catch up, which was quite enjoyable. we began at the place where the first morning's coffee mission began, and the woman working there was dealing with us without looking up. when she eventually turned our way she just froze, then giggled, looked away and continued to look away (giggling) because she couldn't deal with the bunny suit.
  
  i learned something extremely valuable that night: not all canned meat is okay. i tried to eat canned meatballs and couldn't manage more than half a serving.


• i watched a number of people unsuccessfully trying to communicate with a great big dog on the dancefloor, and when i saw someone get a response i was surprised to notice (in spite of the music) that the commands were being given in hebrew. we started talking, and although we're both convinced that we've met before neither of us has a clue where. weird.


• sunday was HOT, so in the afternoon i had a freezing cold shower that was absolutely brilliant. i was considering taking a dip in the small brook, until i went to stand next to it and saw that it wasn't quite as... hygienic as i would have liked.


• speaking of ablutions, the toilets were relatively well taken care of. as usual, i'm impressed with myself for not actually needing to sit down the entire weekend. i suspect it has to do with the amount of energy i expend bouncing up and down.


• in the hot sun on sunday afternoon we sat relaxing at our campsite. one of the girls looked at me and loudly informed me that i require a neck-wax.
  "thanks," i replied, "at least everyone else has the good grace not to talk about it."


• in the evening i went to the car to retrieve my sketchbook, and met some interesting neighbours. one of them was kindly examining my scribblings and comparing them to those of her nine year-old son's... i'm obviously not in the big leagues yet :P


• the second night was absolutely infuriating. not only was the music inappropriate - it was extremely good house, but trance parties are for [*gasp*] trance - but our neighbours on two sides spent the night talking crap at high volume and "accidentally" blowing the horn repeatedly for about half an hour.


• after breaking camp, i realized that i'd forgotten about the chocolate chip cookies and we made a mission to the dancefloor with the biscuit tin. we bought coffee in returnable tin cups and sat at the back with the crazy folk. it was really hot and i immediately removed my poncho and shirt and began dancing around, putting my tin cup on the ground next to the biscuit tin because i didn't fancy losing the coffee.
  
  some roasted individual staggered over to beg a cookie, and although i was only too happy for him to take one i was concerned for my coffee's well-being when he began stumbling towards me to thank me (i recognized the look), and i frantically waved at him to stop - to no avail. not only did he only just barely miss the tin cup, but he closed in on me, put a hand on my shoulder and sprayed crumbs all over me as he hastened (in his way) to explain that he wasn't going to take any more.
  
  would that he had not felt the urge to share so much of his gains, i would happily have donated further.


• the girl dancing next to me with a giant smiley-faced helium balloon had the most gorgeous, heartwarming smile. that's something i treasure at these sorts of parties - they contain genuine smiles that you simply won't find anywhere else.
  
  i know that (especially yesterday morning when the music picked up) that i had a few moments of pure, beat-induced bliss, but i couldn't show it with the mask on... there were plenty of requests and demands throughout the weekend for me to unmask myself, but on the one occassion that i did i disappointed a couple of people so much that i couldn't bring myself to take that chance again.
  
  it's like magicians explaining their tricks - you just can't do that.


• i'm very glad that i didn't take muscle-relaxants on the last day. my back was a bit sore, but i could feel the difference in the amount of energy i had for digging and jumping.


• a good-looking woman stalked up to me, looked me in the eye and told me that i had bad dental hygiene - i pointed at my badge ("FALCONBERG DENTAL INSTITUTE") and waited for her to register the connection. she jumped a little, and i gave my best impression of a beast having triumphed in battle... i was forced to defend myself when she recovered enough to strike out at me :)


• a cute, small girl launched herself at me with what i suspected was an attempt to remove my mask, but she could just as easily have been trying to either gouge out my eyes or kiss me (although that wouldn't have been a bad thing, i wasn't ready to risk my vision). i ducked, dived, ran and hid behind some other people, but she ran after me - after a couple of circles i sprinted off through the stomping grounds, through which she didn't manage to follow.
  
  now i wonder if that was a good idea or not :S


• when there wasn't anyone to help push a straw through my mask, i simply put it through where my nose was meant to be and kept my head down, providing the illusion that i was snorting my drinks. this proved far easier to manage and produced way more laughter than the other way.


• the guys i arrived with left early, but i scored a ride from a couple at our campsite and not only was their company on the drive home great, they decided to stay later. that meant that we were around for the best music played the entire weekend, and quite frankly pushed all the issues (like the night before) to insignificant and made my weekend.

after arriving at home, losing a five-litre bottle of water, having a shower and shaving the beard*, cuz's buddies picked me up and we went over to celebrate his brother k-twang's [i had to] birthday. aside from a most enjoyable evening and too much food (for me, at least), we got to hear chris cornell and muse playing the coke-fest [that's a worthwhile link]

after discovering just how uneducated i am (i was unfamiliar with dr zoidberg's apology dance) k-twang gave me the box set, and i've subsequently gone through more than half of it. pity it was such a beautiful day :P

i had a horrid haircut experience today, and i think i managed to piss off sweetiepie.

* it was feeling... odd. i'm fairly certain that that sensation was primarily caused by the dude spraying chocolate-chip cookie all over me.