how i can save my own life

not that my life needs that much saving... but i certainly know what i need in order to improve it. i need to get my attitude back in order, i've been letting my body get the better of me for too long. this sleep disorder thing is too much, i woke up again at 6.30 this morning, even though i was so tired that after breakfast i passed out for another few hours.
i don't want to return to substance-abuse, but if drinking coffee is what it's going to take to stay awake at night then i will do so with gusto.

the other item on the agenda is to reduce eye-strain. i have simply got to start resting my eyes more. i'm beginning to worry about vision-impairment (22 years in front of a monitor can do more than just give me a slipped disc, i'm sure), and i'm contemplating reinvestigating the idea of buying an HMD.

thursday:

it took about four hours of investigative efforts to determine that one of the items on my to-do list has already been done by someone else. immediately afterwards, the sun shining down on a lovely day, i asked the guys to wait for me for lunch while i went into a meeting with our big boss.

during the meeting i received a lecture that left me quite chastened. once past that and a more friendly conversation, i was asked a question that involved incorrect usage of the word "bottleneck". having taken offence, i responded in a manner that somehow gave him the impression that i didn't have any work to do - not at all the case, and he called up my direct commander and organized me another lecture, this one on the topic of keeping my mouth shut.

by that stage i was ready for lunch, everyone else was unhappy with me for making them wait so long, and rain that hadn't been on the menu was pelting down.

post eating, i was completely wiped out and incapable of having my neurons fire in any meaningful fashion. i think it might be related to my recent inability to breath normally, although i'm not certain if it's a function of allergies or simply my body being weird. maybe it's an age thing.

eventually i got my head back together, not hindered by my having finally opened a window (it was a bit stuffy, too), and i tied up a task that's been tugging on my belt for a while now. a lot of it was wasting time using microsoft paint, the new plan is to try and get hold of a copy of the gimp at work.

i was going to be on the kibbutz this weekend, but it suddenly became rather inconvenient. my cousin proposed that i come over just for thursday night, an idea that worked out fairly well. the only problem was the horrendously uncomfortable bus ride to afula, and the squished bus from there to the kibbutz.

although i did stand next to a guy with a pet ferret, they're friggin' awesome!

thoughtless design really upsets me.
i'm most upset by the fact that when the bus driver turned off the main lights, the standby ones were bright blue, and made it impossible to see the stop button. at what i assumed was the last second i requested that the girl sitting in front of me (i was standing by the door trying to protect my face from the next guy's elbow) press the button, and she also struggled to find it.

and then when i stepped out i discovered that i'd gotten out a stop early :(

i began chilling out as soon as i got out of uniform. my cousin gave me a fuzzy platypus [above] that she bought for me in oz... she was a bit embarrassed about giving me something so childish, and i assured her that it was a perfectly suitable gift for me ;)

i thought my cousins were exaggerating, but breakfast this morning really was the best i've had in israel. it was the kibbutz's birthday, and they celebrate in style.

i spent a whole lot of time today sitting outside on the grass, not focusing on anything specific and just letting my mind and camera meander... which is just what the doctor ordered. i was a bit spaced out on the way back to tel aviv, but was too relaxed to care.

it's the first time i've shaved with foam in ages, and i kinda used too much, with amusing results.

wow - i had no idea that the intro song to human traffic is a remix of jimi hendrix - fire. i be gettin' edumacated!

when i got home i spent a few minutes with gimp playing around with my painting idea. i've succeeded in deciding what i'm going to try to do with acrylic...


i went out on my blades for a bit of a mission, and came across a new chinese-goods shop. after they gave up harassing me they let me shop, and i discovered that they're bringing in cans of coconut milk! with pulp! i didn't know that coconuts had pulp! but it was very tasty!

now if only they could acquire white rabbit sweets... they said they'd try.


i was going to make myself some insta-soup, but this is how the powder crumbles. or doesn't.

i think i've overdone my computer usage for the day.