quiet, peaceful weekend

after a really relaxed, pleasant weekend spent reading, watching the telly^*, and sleeping, singer and i came past my place, picked up the kid, and the three of us went to see the jews (hayehudim) in concert. our previous TL and a friend joined us, and it was a solid performance.

about halfway through (it was a three-hour performance), singer complained of her back hurting (it's been giving her trouble the last week), so i gave her a massage. i don't know if i pressed something i shouldn't have (she told me later that just at that moment her back actually felt good), but she turned around to me and muttered "i don't feel so good" - before fainting clean away.

when she came around i moved her to the back of the venue, then to the women's bathroom, then outside, then next to the ambulance. the paramedics advised against taking her to the hospital, but i've never seen anyone take so long to recover from fainting. then again, i'm more-or-less used to fainting (postural low blood-pressure), so it only takes me a minute or so to get myself together.

eventually, when the concert was over, we took a taxi about 200m (NIS 15, the bastard) to a place where our previous TL could pick us up, and she only really began feeling better just as we arrived at her place.

after walking her to the clinic, i've come home to shower and brush my teeth, pick up my gear and go back to resume the holiday.

^* a bunch of the wonder years episodes, star wars ii - attack of the clones, and young guns (all in reverse order). the fifth star wars wasn't as bad as i'd expected, but i find it sad that since the seventies so much mythology has been built up by fans around the first three movies and lucasfilms went ahead with a load of crap without consulting the community.

just because it's not a traditional resource for film-making doesn't mean it can't be done.

silver penis

a solid gold idea for a porno series, based on an amusing israeli show called "money cab".

missing

it was all good until we'd crossed the bridge into herzeliya pituach. then i discovered that i'd dropped my wallet in the shuttle.

those bastard shuttle operators refused to ask on the radio, refused to check when the drivers arrived, and this morning it's all gone. three forms of id, my visa and a large wad of cash. oh, and proof of residence in tel aviv, but that's a minor one.

so i cancelled the visa (i'll hopefully regain financial independence before next weekend), ordered my driver's license, and now have to organize myself a court-martial in order to get a new soldier's id. that last one's a bit icky.

it did put a damper on everything, though. and i was tired to begin with. the evening would've been better without spot and his girlfriend, but otherwise was fine. we had a transport issue when it was time to get home, and singer and i took a walk to wait hopefully for a shuttle home. one came *just* in time to save us from taking a regular taxi.

this morning's wake-up was better, and i came home and sat with the kid and our friend on his project. it's done, and my plan for the tic tac toe AI worked beautifully ^_^ (coding after a beer on an empty stomache made it take a little longer than it should have, however)

i've been online for a while, i've rescued our neighbour from a broken tap, and it's time for a shave, a shower, a quick pack, dishes, and then i'm off to singer's again.

the clash

singer and i both slept badly... both of us have messed up necks and we've both spent the day suffering them :S

we woke up after a few hours sleep, and went off to a friend of hers' place for a barbeque that was highly entertaining. setting the chair on fire, for example, and watching videos of her and her friends at age 15, discovering that the song that's been stuck in my head for a few days now is the clash - rock the casbah (amusingly crap song), and lots of good food for some more. [i probably shouldn't write such long sentences]

we came back with intention to nap for an hour, but singer had other plans. included in those was getting in touch with a japanese friend of hers, she can practise teaching japanese on us ;)

now we're waiting for the kid to arrive, then we're off to our (!) previous TL's birthday party.

much improved

the rest of the afternoon was spent learning pthreads, and through the learning process i inadvertently finished that stage of the project :) [it was really nice to see it all working]

when i realized how late it was, i walked to singer's. her brother arrived a little earlier than expected, so i unhappily tossed half a cup of coffee. shameful waste, that.

it was a splendid evening, really nice with good food and i quite like her family. and in explaining tic tac toe to singer i figured out the exact rules for the game AI ^_^

when we got back we decided to nap for a while, and didn't wake up on time... i was startled awake at 1.15am and rushed to dress. spot was almost at the meimad when i called him, he hadn't thought to get in touch, and he'd let the kid go to bed (after we've been talking about this party for the last week).

i'm really disappointed with spot. as a friend. he's incapable of thinking about anybody but himself, and as such has just removed himself from the pool of people that i consider friends. i can't stand people like that. i can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that about him.

fuck him.

singer and i took a taxi to the club, and it was a great party. we walked back here (her place) with wr, which was great fun. we're both a bit sore, though - i'm just waiting for the shower to become available and then it's sack-hitting time.

songs that stood out for me tonight (that i managed to find, at least):
enter shikari - sorry you're not a winner
lamb of god - red neck
audioslave - show me how to live

i prefer mickey d's

i HATE macdonald's, but it's certainly a far sight better than the excuse for a hamburger that rocked up on my plate last night at shdera.

the place is exceptionally noisy, and reinforces, repeatedly, the knowledge that there is NEVER an excuse to clap your hands unless you're showing appreciation for a performance.
and we weren't given the choice of not being treated, for lengthy periods of time, to a great view of some major male plumber's butt.

quite frankly, it was horrible.

i passed out immediately when we got to singer's, and this morning's wake-up involved le gufre waffles and a stop by the post-office to pick up a box of *ahem* shabby *ahem* treats from the zionist federation. it's sweet, but nothing is going to wash out the taste in my mouth that's left over from last year. ever.

now i've done some shopping, and we've switched to (should've done this ages ago) personal possession. no more shared shopping. my note for the fridge:

BON APPETIT!

• IF YOU DIDN'T BUY IT, YOU DON'T CONSUME IT. NO CHECKING, TESTING, OPENING, SMELLING, TASTING OR SWALLOWING
• "I'LL REPLACE IT LATER" DOES NOT WORK. IF IT'S NOT YOURS, THEN FOR YOU IT DOESN'T EXIST. TAKING ANYWAY IS THEFT^*

- FOR FRIENDS OF FLATMATES: IF YOU ARE TOTALLY HIGH AND HAVE CRAZY MUNCHIES, CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU'VE JUST WON AN ADVENTURE TO THE LOCAL KIOSK. LUCKILY FOR YOU, THIS IS TEL AVIV SO THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING OPEN.

• HAVE A GREAT FUCKING DAY

^* NO, I DON'T WANT TO GET A FOOD PARCEL IN TWO WEEKS' TIME. I BOUGHT THE FOOD SO I COULD HAVE IT NOW.

P.S. FOOD BOUGHT TOGETHER IS EXEMPT FROM THESE RULES.

amazing how spot gave me a whole bullshit story about why he couldn't go shopping, but the second he couldn't have my food he went out to the supermarket. asshole.

toast rescue

school's out for... winter?

wow - i just had a cold shower because there wasn't enough sunlight to heat the water today.

my last day went fairly smoothly, dotted a lot of i's and crossed a lot of t's. even missing the shuttle and taking the train this morning was alright.

now that i've tossed the uniform for a couple of weeks, i'm going out for supper.

pre-fallout

quick post, i've definitely run into overtime...

singer and i went out for coffee last night, and i stayed at her place to be closer to the bus station. i managed to miss the damn shuttle anyway, but fortunately one of the guys from my section was coming past and he picked me up.

i was still locked out of my system for a while when i got into work, and when i finally got back in i discovered that i had five minutes to get to the doctor... i got there in time, had an easy chat with the guy, and walked out with the hospital referral i needed.

[there's a story about teabags that i feel needs telling.]

after extended mail checking we went for lunch, and i got back and found some actual work to do.

we cleaned our section, with a 90-week brainfuck that i feel needs explaining.

i took the ramat gan shuttle again, ran into a couple of guys from my old base, and then walked through azrieli looking for inspiration for the kid's farewell gift.

i just got back from singer's place, completely wasted, after an exhausting evening watching the wonder years. and then passing out to a perfect circle.

last morning before the vacation! and the kid has done his last day in the army. i'm gosh-darn proud of him for having gotten it behind him the right way.

frustration - over.

i got a long way through the fifth harry potter book, but there's plenty left for next time. it sucked having to leave the kibbutz... i was just getting comfortable. i want to go back again soon.

i met a sweet girl from uruguay while waiting for the bus, and the rides through to tel aviv weren't too much of a problem. i dropped off my bag at singer's, went home to pick up my charger, had a fight with the kid about laundry, and in a bad temper returned to singer's.

we watched the fifth element, and i slept over. this morning i made the shuttle easily, but the day did not go well.

i have sod-all to do. i'm actually going to have to come up with something to make tomorrow productive. after going through everything i could, and then sitting in an entertaining design meeting, i got locked out of my system and could no longer even pretend to work, so i spent the rest of the day working on a tic-tac-toe algorithm that's a reasonable emulation of a human being.

nystire and i caught a ride to petach tikve, from there we split up and i bussed to singer's, where i had just enough time for a cup of coffee before rushing home to meet up with a friend to work on his project. we had an amusing run-in with spot on the way, and ended up shopping, but after we'd eaten we sat down and cleared everything up in no time. we comfortably have until thursday to finish typing it all (and i have to learn how threading works in linux c, never done that before. i was convinced it was all simple forking.), so we're all good :)

now that i feel like i've accomplished something today, i'm going to try and have some fun, too.

time to think

i finally cleared some cobwebs out of my head...

emotion is my drug

i'm just another addict

i need to inhale its soft, fresh incense
caressing gentle rays of light
shining from my heart
god's electric touch crackling
i share a great, beautiful,
universal truth
my grin-stretched face
infectious joy, laughter
from birdsong to sunset

i'm just another addict

i need to swallow it
bitter, dry, hard
too large for my throat
its muddy, slow sadness
sliding and spreading mercilessly beneath my chest
tiny fingers gripping my heart
as i stare into the darkness
alone and forsaken and frightened and ashamed
the salt of my tears cleansing
the crush of the world bearing down with its
forlorn lullaby

i'm just another addict

i need to spike it, stab it into my veins
wiggle the needle feeling fire and icy rage
searing into my heart
twisting and screaming violence, lashing out
tearing, biting, clawing
growling thunder
blood pulsing after blood
spears of anger from my eyes pierce the sky

but then it's all quiet
i just can't care
stone worrier

buckets

switched to photobucket as an experiment. here's hoping that i have less issues with them - the bandwidth limit on 1asphost is just too much.

i've resumed reading the fifth harry potter book, and now that i've seen the movie and he's arrived at hogwart's the feeling that i had from the first four has been returned.

so i read myself to sleep, woke up late and went with my cousins for a walk, and have since been chilling. watched an extremely interesting bbc presentation on monkeys - it really is fascinating that there are idiots who can't understand how we're descended from them.

i'm aching to hear a marilyn manson cover of white wedding. come to think of it, he could probably do a pretty good version of alannah myles - black velvet, too.

oh, right: we had potjie-kos for lunch. apparently it's becoming quite trendy around these parts - although engraved on the pot is POYTJE.

back to the chilling.

ah cod breed

ah, the treasure of sinusitis. it's all blocked or drippy, or both, and the 1.5 hour bus ride was hell. the stuffed head makes it tough to concentrate.

singer arrived a lot closer to midnight than i'd expected, by which time i'd fallen fast asleep and rescued her from the lonesome hallway in a fuzzy dreamscape where all the walls lay at just the wrong angles.

we left the apartment at what's becoming my usual time, so again i took the train, although this morning i got off at the right stop and managed to get the bus.

today was horrible as far as work was concerned. hell, i passed out for an hour and a half because you can't do a lot if you can't get enough oxygen to your brain.

like now. now sucks. now time for bed.

i had billy idol - white wedding running through my head the entire day, but i didn't go to an ex-soldier of mine's wedding, not only wouldn't i have been able to make it in time but i'm not feeling so hot. singer arrived to borrow movies, and saw me off to the station.

now to go make elephant noises, shower a shower of kings, and pass out. even if it is only to wake up feeling like i've inhaled the pillow - i do so want to wake up late tomorrow.

nu-tooth

i'm exhausted and crashing, singer's on her way for a sleepover.

i think the general office weirdness is due to the holidays.

i missed my train stop this morning, that was a horrible feeling.

i spent a significant part of the morning with the dentist. she replaced a filling, then ground down my completion so it's shiny and white before cleaning the rest. unfortunately i didn't cope too well with the anaesthetic.

we almost had our electricity cut off today, the payment didn't go through and their warning didn't arrive. nice.

after a meeting with nystire and our SC, and a bit of running around, i joined a group of about 15 to eat at soho. let's see: TOO MUCH FOOD. lucky for me the anaesthetic wore off about five minutes before the food arrived.

i remembered that it's international talk-like-a-pirate day, but i'm too tired to translate...

post-food exhaustion was dangerous, and i was barely functioning when i went in for a meeting with the unit commander. i was kind of disappointed that he didn't have anything to say.

i did have some fun (like, yeah, work fun) before going home. nystire and i stop-started waiting for transport, and i arrived home around 6.30pm to unload laundry with spot before leaving for dizengoff centre. i traded the a perfect circle disc singer gave me for muse (origin of symmetry and absolution), then took a slow meander home.

i've been online for too long, i should've been in bed an hour ago.

anti-pizza

i will not attempt to take the train to work any more. once i arrived at the lod station, i had to wait over 45 minutes for a bus to arrive. not worth it.

i saw a doctor today who gave me a referral and recommendation for the surgery i've been needing since halfway through my mandatory service. in short, he doesn't believe in stitches and wants me to go through the healing process washing a skinned section of my body with soap and water. that sounds delightful.

on the way back to base, i received a call from a girl who's been harrassing me about a full medical examination that i'm supposed to do, but nobody else in my section has heard of.
"it's mandatory!"
"for everyone?"
"yes, for everyone!"
"even the guys who haven't done it?"
"of course!"
"well, then it's obviously not mandatory. i'm not doing it."
"what? but you have to!"
"so what'll happen if i don't?"
"we'll complain to your secretariat."
"who obviously doesn't care. i'm not coming."
"but... but..."
"okay, okay. i'm just pulling your leg. i'll be there. bye."

there was a unit lunch in honour of a bunch of people entering the permanent force, but they ordered pizza. so i had to go out to eat, which sucked.

a bunch of us had to go to my original primary base for a meeting. i kept falling asleep, and i have no idea what was discussed. what i do know is that if you want to keep my attention when speaking in hebrew, don't speak in a monotone and do get to the damn point.

i skipped to my old base to observe the culmination of the project i started before i left. it was a marvellously entertaining evening, i improved my juggling skills and we left the base around midnight having achieved a sense of accomplishment. how long the system will hold remains to be seen, but it does look promising.

the kid and i sat over salad and coffee at cafeneto, and i'm going to bed soon.

i spoke to singer earlier, but it was noisy, so she called again to tell me that she found it weird to talk to me like that. having already said everything in spite of the difficulty, i had absolutely nothing to say, which made that second call ūber-weird.

i have a shadow

  ^{fish eater}

today we learned an old lesson in a new form. the old lesson "always check that the computer's plugged in first" simply wasn't flexible enough. first check that the damned thing exists.

the day began with a short mission in tel aviv, delayed slightly by nystire's train - allegedly the train driver stopped for a cup of coffee.

it was a quiet, slow day and we left the base around 6.30pm. i did a quick shopping on the way home, just handled a shitload of laundry, and am now planning a) to go to bed or b) to go to the cocktail room.

and i'm sad and angry that the geezer snuffed it.

there is no beginning

the wheel of time turns... or does it? our prayers have gone unanswered, the series is incomplete.

jelly-brain jelly-legs

i fell asleep watching the tail end of oh brother, where art thou, and woke up groggy to get ready and head to herzeliya with singer. we arrived way early, so we sat over coffee and talked - primarily about inner peace.

the event was nicely done - they really put a lot of effort into surprising her father for his birthday. it was super-awkward introducing singer to them, and remember: it's only as awkward as YOU make it. so it was all my fault.

true exhaustion was beginning to set in before the main presentation, and i don't know what was going through my head when i ordered the second gin and tonic. when the dancing began i was beginning to lose it, so we said goodbye and walked (well, in my case i kinda just dragged my feet) to catch a bus home. we got off a stop too late, which didn't help my mental state any. we took another bus to my place so i could pick up my uniform, then a taxi to singer's (that earned me an extra half-hour's sleep). by the time we got there i was barely functioning, and my body was aching and unresponsive.

i managed to shave, though. and i'm counting myself extremely fortunate that the switch-over to daylight savings time scored me another hour's sleep.

the day rolled through with assistance from my goa collection. and lots of caffeine. a week ago i did something relatively quick-and-dirty, which i paid for today in full, and i spent the rest of it closing a bunch of open issues. and fighting with word, whose interface is an abomination that has been brutalized and tortured by our support crew.

our shuttle home left early / didn't arrive again today, so i went through ramat gan. i got a bit adventurous, and found a much more useful bus stop, and i didn't have to wait too long before i caught one to singer's place. i was fed and entertained, and after a really good evening i got all my gear (including from the weekend) and missioned home.

the kid's being released soon, i've been asked to help with his release gift. the other old team news is that i sent a mail that contained a compliment to my previous TL, and it backfired and has caused him a bit of a problem - his gift to us last year wasn't repeated this year, and i kinda made everyone aware of it :$

listen to hallucinogen live: CHECK.

i really do feel like i've just accomplished one of those life ambitions people make lists about. hallucinogen was a big part of my introduction to trance, and i used to play twisted almost every night while i slept.

not only was hearing simon posford's tracks from the man himself fulfilling, but it was also the first proper goa trance set i've heard since my first trance party in 1999, and it came across beautifully. the night's music sucked horribly, and he just picked us all up and left us wanting more (which we got!).

and it just sounds so much better, so much fuller on an outdoor system.

- day to day -

i walked singer to the corner, then phoned her mom (very last minute) to ask for a ride... i was picked up from azrieli around 7.30pm, and we went off to an enormous dinner that was extremely demanding on the digestive system. i just wanted one kebab, one piece of steak, and every time there was more ready another couple of pieces found their way onto my plate.

a really amusing one-and-a-half year old kid provided fantastic entertainment, from doing the dancing baby to a cellphone to learning crowd control.

i was dropped off by singer's apartment, and once she was ready we walked to my place. it took me about ten minutes to get all my gear together, and we were picked up by ru55, with only one return to pick up the beach umbrella.

we only got lost twice on the way to the party, and due to a lucky round of not finding a parking where everyone else was parking we discovered that there was actual, legal, protected parking far nearer the entrance.

as i said, the night party was aweful. the music was nothing short of horrible, noisy and either dischordant or simply boring, not a single decent beat and no potential for salvation. we met up with a friend of mine from south africa, and spent the hours until dawn chilling with him and his friends.

until around 9am the music was still atrocious, but at the switch we felt a real beat come in and singer joined me on the dancefloor. hours of madness and elation ensued.

ru55 took the everything-until-9am-was-horrible pretty hard, and didn't want to stay in spite of the music turning to gold. i couldn't even convince him to just enjoy the good day at the beach, and we left way earlier than i'd have liked. i drove the second leg back here (singer's), and now it's time for breakfast before resting before taking her to the family "do" this evening.

slow flow

singer and i had a good meal at movie-ing last night, then rented spirited away and willow and returned to her place.

her dvd's broken.

so we watched old school instead - amazing cast! i don't generally like this sort of movie, but it was absolutely hilarious and very well done. i then watched an episode of how i met your mom, re-realizing why i shouldn't have access to cable.

we had a slooooow wake-up this morning, and just got back to my place to watch the movies. i haven't yet heard from my cousins, so as of now i don't actually have any way to get to dinner tonight :S

legless, sleepy, post pancakes and coffee

i went out with spot's SO to hunt for a gift for the family, and it took us all the way to dizengoff to find what we were looking for. we bussed back and i showered and went to sleep, but my phone was going off every few minutes with another new year sms.

around 5.30pm i woke up, got dressed and made my way to singer's, and from there went to wait by azrieli for my cousins to pick me up.

pretty sunset.

dinner was nice, really sweet, and her father appreciated the tickets ^_^

i was dropped off at singer's, and we went through to the zamir. great party, lots of fun, -- INTERESTING EVENT --, i had my socks rocked and ended up the only person not in favour of walking home... by the time we got back we were all complaining of sore legs, and i'm still feeling out of it.

waking up late for a solid pancake breakfast was good, but i think i'm going back to sleep now.

-- ATTENTION --

today is my second mommy's 80th birthday! i just sent her a mail beginning with "now that you've reached the halfway mark...", she's absolutely amazing and i'm really sorry that i couldn't be with her to celebrate :'(

what i did this morning

the broom has yet to be manifested, i'm about to do a bit of it, but it's not so simple doing the floors by one's self. i'm pissed at spot because apparently his definition of compromise is me accepting his bullshit and getting screwed over.

and he's developed grootbek's technique of lying argumentatively.

i slept amazingly last night, the more pillows the merrier: i stuffed them all into the corner and spread myself over the bed, and throughout the night i just had to vaguely wave an arm or shrug my shoulders to turn an awkward position to supremely comfortable. it's not a very sociable way to sleep, but seeing as nobody was sharing the bed with me at the time i guess it's alright :P

when i got up this morning i was still shaking from the caffeine overdose yesterday.

i had breakfast with singer, and we began with an argument: she brought me a gift for the new year. but, like, a serious gift. that's not cool, as much as the gift is greatly appreciated (the new nine inch nails album and serious chocolate. my retort was covering her ticket for the party on the weekend. that seems to be the right thing to have done as now she feels that it's not fair.

now to unhappily leave the apartment to find chocolate or something to take with to dinner tonight :S

solid coffee

an insane caffeine-high caused by a cup consumed about four hours ago is still going strong. i *always* ask for a cup that'll make my head explode, and this is the first time i've had my request granted. the man who dosed me is a king.

i needed that coffee after a long day of new year's activities, project closures (all good) and generally saying goodbye until sunday ^_^

last night i met up with singer at zinc, for what's become my usual sea-food risotto. i was quite agitated, and we had a really drawn out argument concerning exercise. on the way back, things were very touchy-feely and that kinda made me uncomfortable. i mean, i like this girl but i'm not ready to enter boyfriend phase.

i slept beautifully last night.

i actually took the train to base this morning, and aside from a small screw-up have discovered that it's way more pleasant than using the shuttle. but i sent through a formal complaint about the shuttle anyway.

post-caffeine: i walked to dizengoff center to draw cash, then found the hangout of the crusties selling tickets. i was told to go and sit by the bar, but wasn't informed that the guy sitting there was doing the selling - i felt pretty silly after discovering that i'd been sitting next to him and waiting for over ten minutes...

and then the other guy came in, and it turned out that i was supposed to wait. much amusement ensued. decent guys, by my reckoning, but dropping NIS 570 in one go was quite painful. and i haven't yet shelled out for the theatre tickets for her father, so tomorrow's going to hurt as well.

i did buy a towel on the way back. my copy of slaine: the horned god hasn't been organized yet :(

they've ruined fallout boy's only good song
an amusing link

just another day in the office

not a bad one, either. i mean, i got a bit of work done, lots of emailing and organizing, and apparently my screw-up of not having registered the day off i took in may is fixable. i also bought a large, pink pillow, the carrying around of which proved most amusing, and i think i got around the eye-strain thing (assuming that i'm correct in my assumption).

we were joined for lunch by the daughter of one of the civilians in my previous unit, who'd been abandoned by her section for the day (we think it's a sick form of initiation). i laughed to myself when her mother told me she was pretty (whose mother doesn't think they're good-looking? if it's yours i don't wanna know), and the guys were giving me a hard time on the way ("if she's not hot she's not eating with us").

amusingly enough, she's quite the fox :P

the kid sent me a book on quitting smoking the easy way, and i flipped through it. yes, yes - he's right about pretty much everything. but there's an aweful truth that's only touched upon.

just because we know it's marketing crap, doesn't mean that the image promised doesn't influence us. my smoking is partially a really dumb mechanism of letting others know that i'm a non-conformist, and through my own eyes i see myself differently, darker, because i suck fanatically on chemicals that are killing me.

no, there's no great logic, no sense of accomplishment, no relief... in fact, there's not a damn thing that's positive about smoking. except that smokers have assigned a meaning to the act of consuming carcinogens and almost justifiably fear the removal of the stigma.

how can i be fucked up if i don't smoke?

what i've just said is a combination of non-realities that make everything said in the book ring out even truer, unfortunately i still can't bring myself to let go. so i'll just have to deal with being smelly and offensive, and short of breath.

spaceport
heli history
NOSO

autumn begins

the shuttle driver gave me grief this morning about having to wait for me, as if we never have to wait for anyone else. this whole shuttle business is really aggravating.

that aggravation melted away when i stepped out of the shuttle, though - and straight into a light, cool drizzle that marks the official end of summer. soon after, i discovered that led zeppelin iv has stairway to heaven on it, the one song that got scratched out of my collection! score!

today was completely routine. including being completely unable to function after lunch... i've decided that it's caused by eye-strain, because that's the only variable that hasn't changed and the effects are always a similar headache and complete mental exhaustion.

i shouldn't have worn my new "i wanna fuck -princess peach- like an animal" shirt to base. there are too many idiots lacking a sense of humour.

work-wise the day was successful, and i arrived home to learn about organizing theatre tickets, watch rednex and rediscover evolution of dance.

spot and i went out for coffee, and now i've showered, caught up online and am going to bed early.

lots of big pillows required

i've decided that i want to start falling asleep in luxury. why not?

i spent the rest of the afternoon reading, then went with the kid and our neighbour for ice-cream.

our neighbour was complaining about "slow-motion", and i ignored that until i realized that we hadn't moved at all up the line... the girl serving really was moving that slowly. everyone impolitely began suggesting an increase in frame rate, but she was more concerned in getting everything *just* right.

once we got back the kid and i finished up the basic mechanisms for the project we've been doing, and it's now back to the routine for a couple of days...

weekend slowdown

the kid convinced me to join him and our neighbour - their second time watching alpha dog. i'd never seen it, and i was right: what a pathetic movie.

i left them to it to go out with singer. we had coffee (and i a panini), then meandered to the ilke bar for a fun couple of drinks. we were both a bit tipsy when we left, and we came back here to shower and flop into bed.

we woke up late, sat outside for a bit and then watched most of high fidelity. she had to leave just before the end - bummer.

i don't know what i'm doing or what i want to do... it's one of those days.

makes for odd reading

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dreaming of NIN

i woke up after having just the right amount of sleep to hallucinate (eyes wide open) trent reznor standing in the shadows of my window screaming. it was going to be a fun morning.

although, that reminds me: i forgot to mention a couple of things about the concert:
1) MGR! thank the gods i thought to wear my goggles, because whenever the stage lights hit us i just flipped them down and carried on, while those around me were groaning instead of losing their heads.
2) my legs. they bloody well hurt after that much jumping and stomping.
3) the front-line security boys handing out cups of water throughout the concert was ingenius! i don't know if that's normal, i've never made it to the front before.

when i arrived at base - having had my previous request for a holiday denied - i passed out for about an hour and a half. didn't do much for my neck, and the only response i had when woken for coffee was groaning.

and lurching. i could handle lurching.

by the time the big meeting began, i was caffeinated to the gills (SO glad i thought to bring red-bull). it was an interesting meeting, interesting being where we're told that we haven't met the deadlines by a long-shot and that we have a crazy run ahead of us, and our unit commander spent a lot of time shouting at our SC.

the kinder pissed me right off at lunchtime, i was too tired to be patient or ignore him.

i re-did what i began a couple of days ago, catnapped, and spent the rest of the afternoon totalled. i was stupid not to leave early.



i just can't get over the concert.

i did a minimum (more than i was really capable of) effort share of the cleaning in the afternoon, then went to wait for the shuttle. again it didn't arrive, so i took the shuttle to ramat gan instead. i got off a little early, but enjoyed the brain-dead meander down the road (that i'd lived in until we found this apartment), then hopped on a bus that brought me right home.

-- misbehaving moment that most of us saw coming --

i had a quick shower, put on normal clothes, and took a bus to singer's.



we had another long chat, and i'm very comfortable continuing to see her if it stays at this level. i don't remember feeling this un-pressured about dating. and the difference lies in me.

the above scribble came out of the discussion we had, and i said i'd make a t-shirt of it. we had a very chilled evening, really nice, and the morning came in with a proper tel-aviv air to it and a good coffee start.

i got home, woke up the kid, and we went on a mission. we began with sandwiches on the corner, then walked up dizengoff to pongo! to make the shirt - came out beautifully. we went to the mall, and got sucked into disc-centre.

that's a lie. i knew that was going to be a part of the mission. i got three nine inch nails albums: the downward spiral, further down the spiral and broken. i was contemplating buying fixed, but replaced it with led zeppelin IV, and now i know that the song that drove me nuts coming back into jerusalem was when the levee breaks :)

i, along with a couple of the workers there, upset the kid and the rest of the workers when we began enthusiastically discussing the concert - not the intention, but it's not going to stop anytime soon.

i wanted to buy a tool shirt, was shown an a perfect circle shirt, got confused and left empty-handed. i want a tool shirt with the album-art from 10,000 days, but with one picture in particular.
now, i could make it myself, but there's something decidedly not right with that.

i bought some art supplies, we browsed and were shocked by the prices of digital drums, and walked back home. oh, there's a place on the way that sells dr. pepper. i like.

we did some shopping, and since i've been back i've done nothing but sit online. it's now about time to break out the biltong my mother brought me and get some real-life reading going.

post NIN

THAT was a performance. that was simply mind-boggling, totally awe-inspiring. aside from the bass guitar giving out a couple of times, the run was flawless... the place was *packed* with fans (i was right at the front, but a lot more people showed than any of us expected), beautiful and sexy girls all around, crazed enthusiasm, and the show was really well put-together.

the electronic screen was just magical, their use of it superb and inspired. there were several parts of the show that it seemed like we were watching a brilliantly directed music video.

i originally clawed my way to the front in order to throw the shirt onto the stage, but at some point a couple of bastards blocked me completely and i almost gave up. after a few minutes i tapped a random guy on the shoulder, and shouted a brief explanation while handing it to him.
a couple of tense minutes passed and i wondered if he was going to steal it for himself, but then suddenly his arm whipped out and the shirt landed about 3 feet from the man himself.

i was congratulating him when he turned around to smile at his success, and he suddenly got this odd look on his face: "totalwaste? is that you?"

that was goddamn creepy. turns out he was the guy here playing poker who i argued about over tool, and we've spoken a number of times since - but not in person - and i didn't recognize him... what are the chances?!

so i finally had a buddy to scream with - spot arrived at the concert around 9.30pm and we only saw each other after the stage emptied.

unkle opened for nine inch nails with a completely different kind of power - but powerful it was and the performance was *highly* enjoyable! i was only familiar with their ambient work, their hard 'n funky metal style took me pleasantly by surprise, which is why i was literally warmed up by the time NIN came on.

now for the day:

i missed the shuttle this morning, but remembered to score myself breakfast on the way in to the office.

my workday was as follows:
work
arrangements
שכברב פילים (shkavrav pilim or "elephant orgy")
chocolate-eating
rank donation
lunch in the officer's mess
rank initiation
the train station

שכברב פילים (shkavrav pilim or "elephant orgy")
that's what's been drawn on my whiteboard by a number of people, repeatedly, for a couple of days now. it's beginning to get worrying. i've caught the kinder twice and i know there's another person outside of our department involved.

rank donation
our SC asked me to donate my spare ranks "to a worthy cause". ten minutes later i ran into nystire, now bravely sporting them having stepped into my world of "most bizarre rank / status combination the army has to offer"

lunch in the officer's mess
now that nystire's an officer, he could eat with us in the officer's mess. we were initially planning his "initiation" for when he stepped in, but we weren't organized enough and had been threatened already by my TL not to.

rank initiation
observation by my TL made it less brutal than it should have been, but as it is we wrestled nystire to the ground (the bastard bites, my hand and side still hurt), tied him up and carried him outside, where we used no less than 6 buckets of water (okay, with a small quantity of soap) to completely and utterly drench him. we have some great photos.

he did manage to make a few of us sweat like crazy - he's a dirty fighter.

the train station
nystire needed to get to our old base, so i took off the hours i made up yesterday and went with him. on the ride to the station we picked up a fellow traveller from our base (a major), and i shocked him with my hamster id. apropos my hamster id, it's totally invalid for use with the trains - of course i checked.

i have an odd way of remembering things. the word for scaffolding in hebrew is פיגומים (pigumim), and i explained that i just think of construction site scaffolding made of rubber piggies - rubber in hebrew is גומי (gumi) - after laughing at the suggestion nystire actually remembered the word.

a sarcastic "why don't you just stop in the middle of the road?" when i stopped in the middle of a clear walkway with at least 2 metres to get by really had me concerned.

i got home, showered, dressed and rushed off to the concert, arriving there half an hour after they opened the gates (6pm), and i think unkle went on around 7.30pm.

i have to be up for a big morning meeting in 3 hours. this is gonna hurt.

calzone

the kid called, and i joined him and a friend of his for beef and onion calzone at what turned out to be a really good place right next door.

after a long political debate, we moved for ice-cream, and now i'm home and going to sleep.

i didn't have the heart to tell all to singer when i called her just now, i really would rather have said it face-to-face. i don't mean that i'd rather say it face-to-face, i'm just as awkward about these things as anyone (maybe more so), just that after it's done i'll be happier with myself.

i think i'm making progress - i don't have that feeling that i'm going to be beating myself up afterwards.

the NIN concert's tomorrow!!

kamatz katan

it began as a pleasant autumn (!) morning, with a lesson on hebrew vowels as i walked in and a slow progression towards the tasks of the day: none.

that's not entirely fair, because i had plenty to do and no way of doing it, so i spent most of the day trying to make myself useful to others and studying things that will hopefully come in handy.

i did (mostly) finish the report i was writing, and passed it on to my team-mate. after he edited it i had a look, and when we were satisfied - i swear this was completely automatic, unconscious, programmed behaviour - i saved and closed the window.

he'd opened it straight from his inbox, and didn't have access to his temporary files, so we'll have to repeat the update again. that was embarrassing.

sparkles "indulgent" line, my mother brought me a few packs when she came here, are terrifyingly addictive. the traditional sparkles are too sweet, these things are *just* right. i feel bad about having consumed so many in the past two days.

i saw the doctor today, and then the dentist. that got the violation needs sorted out. i couldn't cope with the hebrew in either event. medical terms are beyond me.

THE ADMISSION OF THE DAY

it struck me on my way home that maybe i'm not looking for love. i've sabotaged every opportunity i've had in recent years. we all think we need it, but quite frankly i've raised so many issues in my head that it's more trouble than it's worth.

and besides, it's supposed to happen by itself. i'm not looking for a relationship, i'm not looking for one-night stands, so i guess i'm out of the running and should be parking off on a bench somewhere.

now to clear the whitney houston lyrics from my head with a fresh dose of marilyn manson.



i was pissed off with nystire today, because he's still ten-year-old sulky. that sort of thing is not only completely inappropriate and anti-social (this is our work-environment, others are disappointed too), but it really put me off-track when he demonstrated a lack of trust over a teaspoon.
i left the schoolyard many years ago, and i somehow expect people older than me to have left theirs too.

it was with this in mind that the thought for the day arrived:
the only way to stop being miserable and persecuted is to stop being miserable and persecuted

although he did post me this link: google earth flight simulator - looks fun

impulsive compressive

our neighbour's explanation of OC.

i slept much better last night, but the throat infection's still with me. i guess the fact that i haven't eased up on the smoking hasn't helped.

i got into the office, did some work, then went off to the hairdresser. they managed to fit me in half an hour after my scheduled time - i do wish they'd make it clear that they don't actually open until the first half-hour's passed.

i spent the day working on the report for the beach day, writing a long letter kindly requesting my long-overdue promotion, building towers out of plastic cups and eventually being able to do about an hour's worth of actual work.

and again, our shuttle didn't rock up. i had a chat with the guy responsible from our side, and listened to him talking to the shuttle company with a speakerphone. those bastards not only lied repeatedly, but were downright rude. i asked the guy if their contract allows for that sort of thing...

i stopped in at cafeneto for a salad and coffee, and got into reading dork whore. by the time i got home it was pretty late, and since then (around 7.45pm) i've been frustratedly playing with linux semaphores. thank the gods! it's all starting to make sense!
WHY DIDN'T I FIND THIS BEFORE?!

and now that i've wasted so much time focusing on all the wrong things, i'm rewriting the damn code from scratch so that it'll be appropriate.

segfaulting through the morning

wow - it's late. i've only just gotten in from watching the new harry potter with yogi: good movie, but the promo's for bridge to terabithia and stardust look really good.

buggrit, i still have to shower.

i slept badly last night - horrid neck aches the whole day... and my throat's all scratchy too :(
we all spent the morning dealing with a really silly matrix problem, with hilarious results. especially when apparently working code segfaulted and we were informed that 4 does not equal 4. there was a suitable explanation, but we got a good laugh until it was discovered.

we were teasing nystire on the way to lunch, and he took it really childishly and refused to come eat with us. i'm still annoyed at the "dish it out but can't take it" attitude, because i remember a fair number of times when he did worse to me. i guess some of us just learn to deal with these things.

the afternoon saw a whole bunch of grud-work come my way, and in the midst of it was a long sms-chat with vision about breaking her out of basics for the NIN concert :P [not gonna happen - what would we do with her weapon?]

our shuttle left early, without most of us today. that's not on. an hour later we found this out, and i just managed to dive into a bus to get home at a relatively reasonable hour. i tried to work some more, but i couldn't find an example of semaphore usage that matched what i want :S

deserved hangover

i chilled yesterday afternoon, reading and napping, and spent a little time online reading webcomics. i'm still weeks behind on news, but i haven't had the energy in ages to catch up.

the world can just pass me the fuck by.

spot and i arrived early at the lizard, both wearing our extremely amusing shirts, and chilled a bit before the masses hit. and my word, the place was PACKED and the music was AWESOME, quite frankly it's been months since i was last at a party that fun.

an interesting metaphorical conversation with the mongoose about the iphone vs. my crap ancient nokia produced the following line:
"you enjoy your beautiful, luscious $100 hooker who provides access to any orifice... i'll stick with fucking my $3 granny in the traditional manner and keep my eyes closed."

singer arrived too, and was surprised to discover that she actually enjoyed the scene immensely! it was slightly weird when vision rocked up, because we danced together for a bit and things got incredibly awkward for all three of us... can't say as i've ever been in that position before.

and vision's looking good, all tanned from basic training :P

around 3.30am, having barely drunk anything, i sat down next to spot. he began shouting at me for not touching so much as a beer, and we immediately set about downing four whiskey shooters each. i followed that with a beer, and that's when things got a bit woozy.

in fact, after developing that oddity of speaking - very - slowly - and - carefully so as not to slur, i almost passed out on the couch. the only thing keeping me in the world of the living was an insane string of my favourite songs, and as soon as i was capable singer and i took a cab (the first two weren't "going in our direction", which was a new one) to our respective homes.

i'm most impressed with myself for having dealt with the taxi, the walk home, brushing the teeth and other ablutions, and putting myself to bed before giving up, getting up and throwing up. i've only once before been that drunk, and that's what got me to give up drinking for three years...

the hangover when i was woken up at 2pm was unbearable, and i'm still suffering traces. good thing i went straight to work with the kid doing a friend's c homework - i had to teach him about shared memory and semaphores, and for the rest just lay down and threw out handy comments and answered the occasional question. we're pretty much finished, too :)

spot's sister came over and reminded us about tekken, we had supper, and i've just discovered that the t-shirts wash brilliantly - now i'm going to finish messing about and put myself back to sleep.