looking at me

as i'm laid down in my tiny cot
with blue aeroplane mobile and pink butterflies
my head cushioned
by soft, downy dreams
i lie staring through pristine white bars

i lie staring at older me
with my reckless self love
of daring escapades and idle sweetness
flippantly, i grab a bite
off the table, passing sneering snark remark to older me

as younger me strolls out the door
i sigh
remembering resignedly
renewing my focus on my pleasure
of morning brew and last night's news
reading carelessly about older me's pension woes
as i prepare to chase my doom another day

i wait quietly for younger me to call
to ask after me
to bring me news
i wait for a glint in eyes that might see more than mine
to remind me of passions forgotten

i smell that talcum smell
i close my eyes
i rest my head
on those soft, downy dreams
just a little longer