Monday, October 31, 2005

chained up on my walk to freedom

chatting with my mom did make me feel better. the zoning out was alright. at least when i went to bed i was able to see straight (and fat lot of good that did me too, when my eyes were closing) :/

i got up this morning at 5.30..., hopped to it and made my long, droopy way to the medical base. i didn't have to wait too long. as usual, i got an orthopaedist i've never seen before.

this one said the same thing the others said, that the other guys are all morons, i didn't need to do any of the previous tests. now i've been sent off to a new one - they're going to inject me with radioactive sludge and take photos. may cause impotence.

i can't bring myself to laugh at the new twist. it's just not funny. i was told that all they needed was the emg (aka shock therapy), and they'd decide on my boolean status as a soldier. what absolutely does my head in, is that this new test has been advised by a doctor who, in his words, sees no connection between my having a slipped disc in the base of my neck, and the pain i'm experiencing in my neck and upper back.

give THIS man a medal, moonflake. he's not interesting enough to make your mid-week madness, but can he get - you know - a little medal? i think about *puts thumb and forefinger close together* yay much c4 will do nicely.

then back to the base, sneaking off on the way to pay the bills. i went to visit j-girl on the way to my office, but she was fast asleep, and i didn't want to wake her. i dropped off something at the clinic, then went past j-girl's office again - and she'd already left. swak.

forced down a pitiful excuse for lunch, and got some of my welfare stuff sorted out. our welfare officer offered to help me find an apartment, but i'm not sure how serious she is.

i then went off to my dental appointment. it took a while to determine that i'd simply gotten the date wrong, and it's tomorrow. and this is after our section commander made a point of making me explain what i was going for - and i couldn't remember the word for filling. and i had to go and inform him that i'd returned...

so the trip to the city officer wasted an hour. i got back to find the mongoose looking for a replacement for a guard shift, so i went to his team-mates and asked them to help out. they assured me that one of them would do it, so i left it and went back to work.

the mongoose called me up at the point he was supposed to be replaced, and then told me that his team-mates had said they couldn't find the sod, and so couldn't help. funny, two minutes after that i had two phone numbers, one of them private. funny things just *happen* when you try.

unfortunately, even though i was prepared to guard for him (it was only an hour, anyway), he'd already given up on what he was supposed to do. which kind of annoys me.

he did say something that piqued my interest: he tells me that the way i walk says "don't mind my business. pray i don't mind yours."
i can dig it ^_^

i went back to work - we spent a good half an hour (we found a whiteboard!) arguing over design, and after the dog did something neat he left me with the scout working on our own bits and bobs. after discovering a couple of new problems, the scout convinced me (and it was so difficult :P) to assist him with a weird error. lots of messing, and me learning some interesting java things, and i found the cause. a rather amusing one - trying to pass values to an uninitialized array. so he's new at this ;)

we left at 7.25, as i'd forgotten that my bus only arrives at 7.50. on the plus side i had time to chat with a rather attractive girl on her way in to a night-shift. the sign over the bus shelter says: "if he makes eye contact with you on the street, he makes eye contact with other girls too."

no umbrellas at the pharmacy. the girl at the counter told me i don't need one, because it isn't raining right now.

anyway, i got work to do. whether or not i'll do it is debatable; i think i'll begin by getting into bed.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

blood, tears, and insanity all around

i don't know where to start. but i do know that i wish today hadn't happened. although some things were good in a twisted context. some of it's a bit mixed up in my head, so the order of the incidents is not necessarily correct.

i got to bed around 4 / 4.30, and spent 6.30 till 7 trying to get up. i missed the first bus by inches (okay, i'm exaggerating - i did see it go by though), and the second bus was so packed that we physically couldn't get on. by the time the third bus got to the base, i was half an hour late, and we already had worrying problems to deal with.

when i say "we", i mean "i", as the scout was on alert and the dog... well, you'll see.

so i kind of deal with the problems, then go for breakfast. i witness the guy responsible for guard shifts (sod) screaming at the other south african, and i was agitated to learn afterwards that they were being shouted at for not cleaning the barracks - when that's the job of the "janitor" soldiers.

i had a tuna salad for breakfast. this is only important because while stirring it up, the lid popped open, and i got it all over myself and the scout. that sucked. fortunately the fishy smell didn't last the whole day.

the other south african and i exchanged amusing sa stories, and then i returned to my office.

i passed through the prefab next to ours to say hi. i was greeted with the horror of j-girl (the really sexy one), then her team-mates, then another bunch of girls, all in tears. crying too hard to tell me what happened. something inside me died when i saw that. one of the girls asked me to come back later, so i returned to my office, fighting back my own tears from seeing the devastated looks on their faces.

i did some work. i made an appointment for the orthopaedist - tomorrow morning 8.15am. i'm really, really nervous about it. i really want to be released.

then i went somewhere else, i think. the dog called me around 10am, to tell me he was just leaving his kibbutz in the north. that upset me no end. that's not only the nth time he's late, but i was supposed to sort out a bunch of things (mostly bills), and due to his
i couldn't leave the base.

then i returned and ran into one of j-girls team-mates.

she told me the following: she's having money troubles, so she applied for a work permit. the head of their branch called her in, and told her that something didn't feel right about her application - they don't know what. instead of inquiring, they denied the permission, and are punishing her by stripping her of her office (she's a welfare officer). not only is she passionate about her job, but that also means a decrease in her salary. her commanders don't care, and the guy who informed her of all this said and did spiteful things on top of the punishment when she tried to defend herself.

i gave her some advice about dealing with all this, but the reality is is that nothing will really help. in theory there are mechanisms in place to protect soldiers from this kind of thing, but in reality we really are at their mercy.

i went with her to her office, and sat with her and j-girl while they explained what had the whole group crying. i can't even begin to describe the events - the incident(s) (they're all related) are in and of themselves rediculous and complicated - but i sat there gobsmacked. i thought i had unpleasant army stories. and i've heard enough horrifying stories from all my friends who've completed their service that i didn't think anything could phase me. these girls' commanders have been unbelievably sadistic - i'd venture so far (and as a jew, this is really something) to call them nazis. the kind that performed medical and social "experiments".

i've had the earlier scene of devastation playing through my head the entire day. clearly. i saw a group of girls this morning break.

j-girl and i went for a walk. she had to speak to the sod, and we had to wait for him to arrive. which resulted in us having a really intense conversation - one of those life, the universe and everything ones. i'm trying to convince her to leave her boyfriend - she got back together with him after he cheated on her, and now he's messing around again... that conversation progressed to some very heavy stuff. it was quite intimate, and i told her when we parted that i'll be waiting when she finally gets shot of her need for him.

i hope i can keep that promise - also meaning i hope she loses him soon - i am completely taken with her. i joined the mongoose, firefighter and freshmeat for lunch, but i couldn't eat anything. fortunately the conversation took my mind off most things (aside from j-girl), and we had a mostly good laugh.

my mood returned the second we left the table. i returned to my office, or our welfare officers, or the other way around. i eventually ended up in the office, either way, working.

at some point our secretary, a *bit* of an idiot, came by to say she was on her way to a week of guard duty. sucks for her, but hey. then she drops a bomb on me - she's going off guard with an uzi - she's never learned how to use one. never been to the firing range with one. and now she's off to a place where if there's a problem, she's not even strong enough to use the gun itself. and i promise, without being taught, i had no clue - it's ass backwards from the m16.

she informs me that OUR sod (as opposed to the other one, who's responsible for the entire base) signed her out knowing her situation. so, of course, as any RATIONAL person (i'm not sure if i qualify today), i saw a problem with this.

at 1.45, the dog burst in. after screwing me over on an already bad day, he had the audacity to waltz in and say "don't ask. don't say anything." this took me dangerously close to the edge. just then the scout called to say he was being screwed over in his guard duty. good timing - i stalked out and to the "war room". nobody to be found. i hung around and stewed, talking to the other south african (he was also guarding), and discussing my situation. including, not least of things, the way my section commander has been behaving. half an hour later someone arrived to clear the guards to change.

fucking wankers.

so i waited and continued talking until the scout showed up, by which stage i was simmering. we sat down and talked for a bit, and then i returned to my office, not looking forward to dealing with the dog. just walking into the room took me onto the edge itself. i was feeling murderous. the dog opened his mouth, i warned him, and slowly and carefully sat down.

he didn't get the hint.
i don't even remember what he said.

all i know is that the entire day flashed before my eyes, and i slowly walked over to our metal door, opened it until the wall, and checked that there wasn't anything behind it, and with spots dancing in front of my eyes began punching it.

i must admit, that in retrospect the speed and force with which i hit that door frightens me. four times, in quick succession, each time just as hard - and the only reason i stopped was because i somehow realized that i was bleeding. that feeling in my head has been hard to shake since. and my hand is black and blue, where it's not still dribbling blood (only a few hours later). thank god i had wet wipes on hand.

i'm VERY glad that i didn't hit a person with those. the dog got the message.

our section commander rocked up, and i caught up with him and dressed him down with a list of complaints. i'm surprised at how lucid i was.

firstly i spoke about our secretary. he gave me an insight into the workings of his mind that made me struggle to keep my fists out of his face. the man is completely incompetent, and he makes no bones about it. he said to me, straight out and to the point, that's he's not commander material, and that he doesn't want to get involved.

oh - my - god. and the man bears the rank of major. i don't want to know how he passed the psych profile for the officer's course, because all it tells me is that the profiles are more flawed than we suspected. and implies several things about my team-leader, who failed said profile...

he explained to me how it's possible that our sod did something illegal, but he doesn't want to call attention to it because if the guy gets kicked out of his position, we may get someone even worse.

he explained to me that the chances of her actually needing to use her weapon are small.

he explained to me that the process of filing a formal complaint, and seeing it through, and painful and time-consuming, and may cause his credibility harm.

and he explained to me that he doesn't want to get involved. because it's not his thing.

i finally managed to get him to call our sod, who told him that he has no idea what he's talking about. he then called our secretary, who also said she didn't know what he was talking about.

now, ladies and gentleman of the jury, you tell me what happened. or didn't happen. if both of them lied to him, he's happy. if our secretary lied to me, i'm happy. but if so, then i'm fucking angry that she put *MY* credibility on the line for nothing. either way she lied, either way that's the last time i put up with her stupidity.

our commander's reaction to the "news" aggravated me. i won't go into detail, but he tried to make me feel like an idiot, and i'm not taking that from someone like him.

i then told him, without too much detail (not only complicated, but none of his business), what i saw this morning. he told me that girls are crybabies, and that i shouldn't take any notice. and that if what i heard is correct, then that's the way it is and that there's nothing anyone can do about it.

i told him how frustrated i've become with my personal situation, specifically regarding the unfair treatment i've received from my team-leader - and specifically the lack of assistance from HIS commander. he repeated again how being a commander is not his "thing", but that he'll be "nice", and temporarily give me permission to fill my hours when i like until my team leader gets back. that's a start, but i'm not exactly falling all over myself to thank him for making such an exceptionally difficult decision.

and i told him about the dog being late. and that his treatment of the dog's tardiness (yeah, i wanted to use those parentheses again) wasn't helping the dog learn the basic skills that the rest of us somehow managed to grasp. he agreed to have him court-martialled, but whether he'll actually go through with it or not remains a mystery.

and i have to say it - it KILLED me to rat on the dog like that. it really did. it made me so angry with the dog for putting me in that position in the first place. and the only reason i'm doing it is because i honestly feel that unless somebody does something drastic, he's not going to learn. and i promised his mother that i'd deal with these "problems" of his.

the dog and i went through to our welfare officer, who gasped when she saw the state of my hand. the last time i saw her i had blood pouring out of my lip, so she's seeing a pattern... i was in a hurry to get to the clinic for a referral for tomorrow, so we decided to postpone our meeting until tomorrow sometime. the dog stayed behind, i made my way to the clinic.

fortunately there was a long queue, so i had time to jump back to my office to get the papers i'd forgotten. i waited a long time, and i was going crazy with all the shit that's been floating around my head. a few minutes before i got to see the doctor, j-girl walked in. part of the story that she was crying about this morning is that she was sent off to that week of guarding, and she was really sick. she managed to get off on temporary medical, which she had to renew today. it didn't get renewed, so they kept her on base to guard tonight. and she's still suffering. we talked for a bit, then i saw the doctor - the minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly (i had a meeting to get to after the army), but i walked out with the referral and time to spare.

then she went in. i decided to wait for her, and had more time to mull. and laugh sardonically at the world in general (as seen from a soldier's point of view), and growl. and send my mother an sms, in which i said, for the first time in my life (seriously, i mean): "i need my mommy". i really just need to talk in her direction. it's amazing what the army can do to a person.

she said she'll call me later. i can deal with that.

so j-girl eventually came out, with a hospital referral. but no medical exemption. and she has to arrange an appintment in the morning, which could take two weeks or so to get to. filthy, is the only word that comes to mind. goddamn FILTHY. and she went to see the "nice" doctor.

after saying goodbye, i walked off with her tears stinging my cheek. that's not the first time today that i had a girl's tears on my cheek, but it was the most painful. but we both needed the hug.

i got my stuff, for tomorrow as well, and took the bus home. my med-supply contact was waiting for me, and we went upstairs and i showed him what i've done so far. he's happy with it - i've now got to send him the screenshots and begin the coding. there are plenty of changes to be made, but he's happy that i got the right idea.
drawing on my applied project experience, i've told him to take my screenshots and scribble and chop and change it until it's comfortable for them, and also to send me the physical forms that the workers there use.
i should have thought of that before.
we'll meet in a couple of weeks to produce the test data.

i was walking up the stairs after saying goodbye, when it suddenly hit me that i never thought to give j-girl my number in case she needs anything during the night. i could kick myself. i actually feel like an idiot. she doesn't have any painkillers or anything, and i would honestly be happy to blade them through to her. i suck with my thoughtlessness sometimes.

my boss called, he wants to dog to do a php project for him. considering that he still hasn't finished the work for the mongoose, i was loathe to pass on his number. still angry with him, i called him up and told him that up until now, only his responsibility, and not his trustworthiness, has been questionable. i was actually particularly unkind in how i said that to him. i made him promise me that if he accepts this job, that it will be done properly and on time - and i told him that if not, i will never again trust him, nevermind do him any favours. he had BETTER not fuck this up, because as painful as today was for me, he's still a good friend and i don't want to lose that.

today i draw the line.

during the weekend i completely forgot to do something for the hospital project, so i'm about to get to that (i had to write this all down first, and that took two hours), and then i'm just going to zone out until my mother calls.

and tomorrow i have to be early for the orthopaedist.

well, that went smoothly

i spent the morning working, redesigned the project and it's far less complicated. not as smooth interface-wise, but really not bad either.

early afternoon i rollerbladed to the base - it only took twenty minutes or so, but i'm totally unfit and it almost killed me. just rolling was difficult.

spent the afternoon watching carlito's way - i'd forgotten what a brilliant film it was, and playing tekken 5. yep, i've played it. a lot. and i can honestly say that it's even worse than 4, or tag for that matter. the gameplay itself is AWEFUL. i'm glad i have 3. that's all that matters.

the mongoose picked me up from there, we came to my place and he showed me the work the lizard needed done on their website. there wasn't enough time to actually do anything, though.

oh, yeah. and when i got home... i discovered that i'd left the laundry in the washing machine. for HOURS.

when we got to the lizard the owner provided a laptop and i sat down in their office to work on it. and we all know how much i love laptops.

it took me about 30 minutes to understand what the moron who built the system had done, and about 5 after that to not only fix the problem, but make some general improvements in the file i was editing. it's now practically instantaneous, the 5-second wait died.
i killed it.

so i earned my free entrance and drinks ;)

the party was great - the place was FILLED with good-looking girls and the music was nice. i stayed until about 2am, and have gotten back to discover that 22gb of my hard drive is lost to emule. so i need to learn which files i can safely delete, before showering and crashing.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

jes' drivin'

i had a shower, and got into bed. i'd had my eyes closed about two minutes when the mongoose called me to tell me i had ten minutes to be ready, his girlfriend was coming to pick me up, and then we'd go pick up the british girl.

due to bad directions, and much assumption, it took us about two hours to get the girl (and her friend) and get to the lizard. the girls got sick of the lizard extremely fast, and we were off to search for a good party.

two hours later we arrived back at the lizard, to pick up the mongoose and to drop me off back home. two hours... i got out the car twice in that period, and for the rest we were driving.

stop one: to get out and wash my hands. his girlfriend's sister had left a sweetie-pie equivalent on the back seat, and i didn't pay attention and sat on it.

stop two: to buy chocolate.

the british girl is a british *girl* - 18, lacking worldliness... but i'd definitely sleep with her. and fight with her all the time about everything. and probably enjoy it, too. but i don't think she digs me, so whatever.

and that summarizes my night out. kinda sucked, really.

Friday, October 28, 2005

*used* to be??!!

alright. so i made a boo-boo. it'll teach me to pay attention. i saw universal soldier, i didn't notice the return. that was a bit silly.

the original movie was the shit.

in the sequel: the plot leaves much to be desired. the characters have a depth that can be measured in nanometres. some of the fight scenes are entertaining. the soundtrack is great! on the whole, i think it would probably have been better had i taken a nap instead, with the words somehow turned off. most of my dreams are more enlightening anyway.

so now i own a dud. and to think i could've bought who framed roger rabbit?... i suck sometimes.

my heart's been stolen

i hate everyone who so much as suggested that sin city isn't one of the most beautiful movies ever made. all those people who warned me not to waste my time are stupid, blind, and emotionally dysfunctional. it was a perfect movie. the tie-ins to the stories weren't important, but they were gratifying when they occurred. the stories were phenomenal. thank god nobody thought to say anything about the style - in some of the scenes i had difficulty deciding whether it was all animated or not. not to mention the cast and the soundtrack being of the highest calibre.

i also watched the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind today - really, really nice movie. lovely stuff, with enough twist to keep me occupied. amused me that it wasn't the ending that was surprising ;)
it's one of the few jim carrey movies (like cable guy, f'rinstance) that i thoroughly enjoyed.

the only other thing i've done today is go out to get a sandwich. plans for the evening: i'm not going to the base to watch a movie there with the scout - i'll do that tomorrow. if the british girl isn't coming tonight, then i'm going with one of the mongoose's ex'es to an alternative / metal club. just because, more than anything else.

or i'll just wimp out and sleep the night away. that's also good. SO chilled after the two movies!

*streeeeeeetch* that was nice...

i *MUST* clean my apartment today.

i forgot to mention that yesterday - i don't know how i could forget to mention this - our section commander emailed me permission for my dec / jan trip to sa!! i immediately printed it out and stuck it on my wall with an enormous smiley face!

i just read some news - around 2am, while walking home, i heard a loud boom and the ground shook. i didn't think much about it, but according to the article this occurred throughout the country around the same time, and nobody has a clue what caused it.


the mongoose just called, and meeting the british girl has been moved forward to tonight... sweet ;)

the shower and my duvet beckon

first things first: doom the movie KICKS ASS. i loved every minute of it. see it. see it now!

it was actually PAINFUL getting out of bed this morning. i love my duvet.

major news of the day: we entered phase two (of three phases) of our army work today, 2 weeks earlier than anticipated. now comes a bit of grudwork, but we're getting there!

i intended to sleep in the office a bit, but between work, bureacracy, and volleyball i never got around to it. i had a meeting with our section commander this morning to complain about unfair treatment from my team leader - he agrees with my side of the story, but he doesn't want to set a precedent of over-ruling him. asshole. actually, both of them are assholes.

the volleyball was incredibly amusing - practically nobody playing today knew what they were doing. when i finally got to play, and the ball finally came my way, the guys on my team got all excited :P i find that amusing, i'm not that good.

i called the med-supply guys this afternoon, and we arranged (on their terms) to meet on sunday. so i have more time to tweak this weekend. two thumbs up, bring me the popcorn.

i bought 3 dvd's today. my first ever. the fifth element (yes! not downloaded!), young guns, and universal soldier. i was hunting for bad boys, but they only have the new one :'(

the mongoose and i went to the lizard. good party, but i left an hour or so ago because i'm just too tired. i plan on getting some quality sleep in tonight ;)

tonight i gave the mongoose a brief summary of my drug history. because he asked, and i didn't feel up to lying to him about it.

it's kind of hard to explain to someone the full ramifications of a lengthy period of drug use (notice, not abuse). it made me ponder quite a bit that unlike most people, i mentally / emotionally benefitted from that period of my life - i learned a hell of a lot about myself and the world in general, even if certain payments were extracted. and none of those payments included my sanity. i never had any. promise.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

and of course - because i had nothing better to do...

my personality type (copied and pasted from this site):


Your flexibility, hard-working attitude, and excellent organizational skills make you the Manager. Your ability to juggle tasks, follow through, and deal with people is admirable, and your firm but friendly attitude gains you respect. You are open to trying out new ideas and methods of performing tasks, and you don't get easily discouraged if things don't work out as planned - you have excellent self-discipline and strive to consistently do your best. You are an outgoing individual; you make sure that the people around you are happy, and do what you can to help when they're not. When people come to you with their problems, you reflect thoughtfully on the issue, and don't give up until you reach some kind of insight or creative solution. You occasionally experience rocky emotions and disagreeable moods, but you can usually get back on track with minimal effort.

this just in: monkey see - monkey do


i have to say: props to all of you who responded. i've thoroughly enjoyed reading all of them... maybe we should do this thing (kind-of) regularly? thanks for sporting guys!

in good spirits

by itself, that's an expression that doesn't make much sense.

i've noticed that my appeal to the "fairer" sex is directly proportional to my attitude, and sleep deprivation. the more wasted i am, and the better the mood i'm in, the more girls i find giving me looks and finding ways to keep my attention.

i need to sleep less, methinks.

after a couple of hours sleep, i got up quickly (and to the point) this morning. i even made my bus. my bus arrived a bit early, and i received a number of "well done!" comments during the day - apparently the second i unlock my pc everyone on my contact list gets an alert. that's worrying. it means my team leader can see exactly how much time i'm away from my computer. and i can't be bothered to disable / re-enable every time.

i spent a large part of the day moving around and getting bureaucratic things sorted out. which meant a LOT of stopping and chatting. and a lot of smoking too. i'm conscious of how much i smoke, uncomfortably so, but i still don't want to stop...

i also got a lot of work done today. aside from our team being hit by numerous bug reports throughout the day, i learned some rather neat java / oracle stuff. at one point i got hold of a 22-page document that explained how i've been doing everything wrong. not wanting to change anything, i double-checked the java api stuff, and it turns out i was in the right, and since then it's been smooth sailing ;)

lunch was REALLY bad today.

and i realized that there's no place in our offices for sb's punching bag. that really bites. we were really looking forward to that!

a new kid was assigned to our section today, and i ran into him during my missioning and found him agreeable. we then found out (from the horse's mouth) that the only reason that he hadn't arrived in our offices is because our section commander wants him to sweat a bit, so that he'll arrive with courtesy.

not only is that bloody cheeky, but i got an awkward look when i asked if that was the reason i wasted a day of my life on the induction base before coming through. BASTARD.

so, of course, we found the new guy and explained it to him. if we're not going to be allowed to "show him the ropes", we're going to make a point of messing him up completely (as far as our commander is concerned ;))

amusement: one of the guys in our prefab was saying ridiculous things loudly when some girl was in earshot. i made an arbitrary comment in her direction about us being disgusting, and when she turned to respond i did a visible double-take (for which the guys laughed at me afterwards), when i registered that she's actually extremely cute.

i worked until 18.20, then took the bus home. i know i'm fucked up because this is the first time in my entire life that i've spilled coffee on my keyboard - i'm most unimpressed with myself.

i've now spent an hour or so working on the hospital project - not too bad, and called my boss to update him. he's sent me a huge document in hebrew to read through, and we argued over whether or not he'll send me a rough transration for the important bits... otherwise it'll take me a month with a dictionary to get through it.

now i have to decide if it's worth dragging myself to the lizard for some live bands, and a dj afterwards who's a member of my favourite israeli metal group... maybe i'll just go to bed.

i mentioned the gay photographer story in the tag list, so here goes:

i went through a period where i was toying with the idea of modelling. a friend of a friend (extremely large, extremely camp ex-cameo stocking leg model) introduced me to a friend of his, who took a few photos just for kicks. he invited me to come to his rented penthouse apartment if i was interested in getting my portfolio done for free.

of course i was.

i arrived, a bit nervous, and he immediately began by telling me who he was. editor and photographer of new york's most well-known gay magazine. i wasn't bothered - i just wanted good photos.

he asked me to strip down to my underwear, so he could see what he was working with. not knowing the rules of the game (and
still not knowing), i did. he saw how uncomfortable i was, and in a doomed-to-fail attempt to relax me, he told me a story about a model he'd once worked with.

the story basically goes as follows: homophobic model sitting in a sud-filled bath. he walks in. model is uncomfortable. he sits down and talks for a while, model eases up. he somehow (i don't remember the story so much as the horror of hearing it, and wondering what he was *implying*) ends up with his hand in the water... things happen... model turns out to have been in the closet.

i never have been in the closet. due to various incidents i'm 100% confident in my sexuality - if i was gay, i could have owned a porsche at age 18. and i would have enjoyed my only male-male kiss. *shudders in memory*

anyway, so we begin the shooting. at some point he gave me some oil to apply, and i did push-ups to give my muscles a sheen, and we continued.

almost at the end of the run, he asked me a favour. he wanted a photo of me bending over, pulling down my pants to expose half a butt-cheek... so he can use it for christmas cards. how twisted is that?!

i admit i thought about it, but at the time i didn't know where i was going in life, and i had this image of myself one day running for political office, and these christmas cards coming back to bite me in the... erm... yeah.

so i declined. but i'll tell you something for nothing - INCREDIBLE photos!

i've just discovered that there was a bombing today - i'm about to depress myself by watching the news.

ps. count the idioms. and cliches.

ah YEAH!

GREAT party ^_^

right, i mulched off to the lizard, saw a lot of people i know and like. had a couple of drinks. danced to some AWESOME music.

from what i've seen and heard, the girl the mongoose is dating now is incredible. an absolute keeper - the lucky bastard! the story goes that some guy came up to him a couple of weeks ago, and asked him to organize her number - he'd never met her - and the mongoose got hold of it. he just kept it for himself.

i really wanted to buy the guy a drink, and tell him how much he missed out. just because i'm evil. but the problem is that the mongoose would get killed, or at least badly injured, so eventually we decided against it. it would have been amusing, though :(

on the way home, i got hit by some inspiration regarding the work i'm going to do tomorrow. as for the work i was meant to be doing today, i'm going to call the CEO up tomorrow and tell him to come and peruse the design. i hope it'll stand up to the job.

now i'm off for a hot shower.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

less drugs for walking

a deliberate reference to syndicate's drug combinations. i walked at full-speed to azrieli, just to find out if night watch is showing. and it isn't - but doom is. maybe i'll go see that tomorrow evening.

i had an iffy sandwich for supper, then proceeded to walk back - at half speed. i guess i've been building up that drug tolerance they (bullfrog) always remind me of.

but i'm guessing my legs are around v2. i walked past a poster printing shoppe on the way, and i think i'm going to take a couple of screenshots and get a large one made. can't say fairer than that!

anyway, i'm back - already less head-scratching going on, but that's probably because i've torn out too much hair for it to be comfortable. actually, i've come up with a couple of good ideas... but they'll bore me to put them in print. and in an hour or so i guess i'll mulch off to the lizard for a drink.

aw man.

i just realized that i misread an email my mother sent me, and instead of sending birthday wishes to my cousin, i sent them to my brother. i couldn't figure that out - i was SURE my brother's is near the beginning of the year.

how embarrassing.

anyways, i wasted yesterday evening completely, but also today. aside from going to the mongoose's for a brilliant lunch, i haven't done a stitch of work. i feel stuck, and i'm only in the design phase. i've overcomplicated things, i know it, but i can't figure out a better (or cleaner) way to do it. i need help!

funny thing: i deleted the file windows was using for wallpaper last night. nothing changed on screen, and i left the computer running all night... while i was doing something unrelated this morning the picture suddenly disappeared. nice one, ms!

and i've played some STYLING levels in syndicate. that game just does it for me!

now for some more head-scratching...

Monday, October 24, 2005

my day and some arbitrariness

last night i lay down and read while attempted to make a dvd backup of some of my things. i didn't find out until morning that it failed again - this because i used my duvet last night for the first time since spring, and i was so comfortable i didn't get up until an hour after my alarm went off.

oh, yeah - that means that i got to the base late. whoops.

got some solid work done today - i'd done some research last night and managed to get it all sorted out today. it was fun, too.

at 10am SB called me, and i hopped on the bus (my commanders would have me imprisoned if they could have seen me) and went off to her place. about an hour's travel all told, not helped by some annoying american girl who wouldn't stop talking crap about the officer's course with the guy she was with. i kept wanting to interject with reality, but i couldn't stand to have her drawl in my direction.

SB's was fantastic. good coffee, and excellent chill-time. as usual, i didn't want to leave, but i had to return to base to sign out. getting back was quicker, and more pleasant, and i spent an hour or two finishing up the work i was busy with before the dog and i left for iced-coffee. the tinned iced-coffee is expensive, but absolutely delicious. i was VERY pleasantly surprised.

i walked to the bus station to meet the mongoose and go with him to meet the english girl, but he called me just as i got there to say that he had had to leave.


so i waited about half an hour for the bus home, reading lolita and dreaming, and am planning a very serious nothing for the rest of my day, interspersed with work and a bit of syndicate.

as for being tagged, most people i know know pretty much everything about me, so it makes arbitrary things kind of hard to say.

but here goes anyway:
  • i got a present of a vision - joe johnson - steroid (new model) when i was about 10 or 11, and until i hooked up trucks and wheels i slept with it in my bed.
  • my sister once brought home a dog, and the first thing it did (i was tiny at the time) was climb on top of me and pee.
  • i was a serious swimmer until mid-teens.
  • i was religious (as in, seriously) from ages 11/12 until age 16. my original motivation was to get out of garden work on the weekends, and i ended up spending four months in yeshiva in israel during 1996.
  • i've only ever cheated on a girlfriend once - a girlfriend i've never slept with, and i felt really, really bad. on the punishment side, i ended up with neither of the girls in question, and i really wanted both.
  • i spent my early - mid teens in therapy. not until i was around 18/19 did anyone feel the need to explain to me that it wasn't because there was something wrong with me. there's your explanation of why i hate psycho/psychi-anythings.
  • i'm not superstitious. at all. but i'm horrified by clowns. especially after seeing only the first half of it.
  • my father once found me sitting on a cushion. which just happened to have my niece's head underneath.
  • i set fire to my balcony once. my best friend happened to be with me. my parents blamed him. and he got the beating of his life.
  • i once tried to invite the girl of my dreams to come rollerblading with me. the only words i have ever uttered in her direction: "are you generally busy on weekend evenings?"... i don't think she even knew my name.
  • i had a weird crush on a funny-looking coloured girl who worked at the steers. i've always wondered about that one.
  • during that religious period, i sang in the synagogue's choir. badly.
  • i'm a serious perfectionist. i find being a waiter too stressful - i couldn't handle spur. i only learned about a year ago that the word is "techno-stress", i over-identify with technology.
  • i once got a modeling portfolio done (i feel the entire story is warranted an additional post) by a photographer (the editor, too) of new york's most well-known gay magazine. he wanted a picture of my butt for christmas cards.
  • people have serious difficulty figuring out whether i'm serious or not. and i have big issues with not being taken seriously when i am.
  • i've never enjoyed smoking weed. hash, yes - but grass just makes me sleepy.
  • i'm a cat-person. i raised my brother's twin pit-bulls. and i've never been impressed by any other dogs since. i even learned to accept dog-kissing...
  • after the big speech delivered by al pacino in the devil's advocate, when kevin's reaction got everyone in the crowd exclaming "yes!" in hushed tones, i forgot where i was and screamed "NOOOOOOOOO!". that brought more surprise to myself than to the rest of the audience.
  • the order in which i appraise the potential of a female is eyes, face, attitude (grace, if you will), legs, general proportions (and i don't like large breasts), and only then personality.
  • i hate using cutlery.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

originally, i was just going to comment...

[copied and pasted from the comment i was intending]
nope, not even worth a post.

the date was pleasant, but a bit weird. it ended with a semi-make-out session that didn't really do it for me.
now i have to try not to be too much of a bastard when it comes to not continuing.

i'm trying on "i like you, but you're really not for me" for size.

and i keep thinking about an (i hear, from the mongoose, fantastically good-looking) english bird i'm going to meet on the weekend - she's looking for a clubbing partner. i'm game.

-- pause --

i just spoke to my mom for half an hour, mostly about leadership and my army experience. i was *REALLY* proud to learn, about an hour ago, that the scout succeeded in the project i gave him, and is extremely pleased with himself. this is all the more impressive because he didn't know a damn thing about this stuff until we taught him.

and the dog has managed to come up with an exceptionally good solution to a huge chunk of our problems. all i'm trying to do is teach him to focus, because when he does he really can carry his weight.

not only that, in general during the past couple of weeks i've worked with a lot of people - mostly going over to ask for help with things in their areas of expertise - and mostly ended up teaching them a thing or two and generally being appreciated.

it's not only nice to have grateful contacts, but i feel as if i'm doing something worthwhile and leaving a bit of a mark.

all this in spite of our commanders. we're going to walk away with good experience - the dog and the scout having learned tons, and me reinforcing valuable life lessons learned (up until now) only in theory.

in other news, one of the women who works with my mom is pregnant, and my mom found her struggling - recognized that she was experiencing contractions, and rushed her off to the hospital in time. my mommy the midwife :) the child was born a few hours later.

i'm feeling backwards

as quickly an update as possible:

wednesday night - the girl didn't rock up to the party. nobody did. it sucked PILES. at least i got a ride home.


i was totally broken for the first half of the morning. i eventually scrambled and did some work, but got stuck on something very annoying just before going to get my weapon.

the weekend in general:

i was put on reserve for the weekend - so i had solid plans for sleeping. unfortunately the group from the courses sucked badly, and i didn't feel good at all in general. especially due to a serious argument with lactose. i finished the robert rankin book - great story, and i started on lolita, which is every bit as stunning as the mongoose described.

friday night some kid started whining and got sent off to the "city officer", which meant i had to take his shift. and a sucky shift it was. i then had to replace someone else last night, from 10pm - 2am. that was okay. i was then woken, roughly, at 6.20am to go off and guard bus shelters on a day when nobody uses them (it's holidays).

i suppose all in all it was a good enough weekend. oh, and i watched a beautiful mind a couple more times. nice. hard not to cry.

after my shift this morning, i snuck off before i could get told i was on alert. every moment i wasn't in my office i was carefully avoiding the guys responsible for us - fortunately by the time we returned our weapons they seemed to have forgotten about me.

aside: it was super weird using an uzi after the previous incident. i was fine, but very, very conscious of it at all times.


that annoying problem was grating my nerves the entire weekend... so i was highly motivated when i returned to my office. after struggling with every possible combination, it turns out that jdbc DOESN'T SUPPORT certain oracle / java datatypes. WTF?!?! it took me ages to find a solution, after giving up and dismissing everything i found online - and the solution was so simple i was kicking myself the rest of the day. ironically, none of the online solutions were as elegant, and all i did was take advantage of an obvious built-in.

go me. and again: i hate oracle.

i'm also quite proud of myself: i gave the scout a side-project to do that i really wanted to do myself. even though it was hard for me, i found it most pleasing to watch him at work with it, and he looks to be succeeding. it's his first time using these languages, and i'm impressed :)

i just got home, am about to hit the shower and then bookworm's coming to pick me up for a date of sorts. maybe later will be an interesting post.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

new t-shirt

for gamers everywhere:

all rights reserved. do with as you wish.


a tragic wake-up this morning - almost killed me. got to the base and immediately crashed. i woke up in time for lunch. it's nice being team-leader again.

just before lunch i spoke with the mongoose, who made a painful point. the only girls i've met this year have been through the lizard. that's just insane.

lunch was acceptable, straight afterwards i went through to the "city officer" for my dental appointment. i was out of there after 20 minutes, with another appointment to get fillings sorted out. i walked through - it drizzled on me - to SB's, where i had coffee and set up her cute new mp3 player.

i then met with mmf for amazing white-chocolate coffee, and we discussed some awesome ideas i've been having, and he seems to be sold. this might turn out quite nicely.

i then went back to the base, and worked with the dog until 8.45pm. and actually achieved quite a lot - the way things are going, when we actually begin building the system we're going to be enjoying ourselves. minus a couple of brick walls, which is why i decided to call it a day.

it was a good day, at that.

i'm now at the dog's, in about half an hour or so i'm off to the lizard - i blew off the bookworm because i hear that a supremely sexy girl, who i only know by sight, is interested in meeting me there. i hope she makes it. i could get used to this "dating" thing.


cold. so very cold, that it's difficult for me to type. it's also very late, and i have to be up early, so it's gonna be brief.

great breakfast at the dog's, awesome shower (hot shower on a cold day), and took a taxi home. worked a few hours, got it looking rather nice. then walked to the lincoln, met up with firefighter and freshmeat, and then went to the lizard.

bookworm (this girl i've been referring to recently) met me outside the lizard. she's cute enough. we went to a nice bar, had a couple of drinks, and talked a LOT for two hours. she's definitely cool enough, and smart enough, so i think i'll go for it. kind of toned down after the last girl though... bottom line: it's all good.

went to the lizard, sat down for a few minutes, and then mmf rocked up. been AGES (many months) since i saw him. i introduced him to the mongoose, we took a look into the party, and then went off to the coffee shop for an hour or so, discussing all sorts of things, and then some business. i pitched him a couple of ideas, and he's gone off to think about it.

i just got home, and am now finishing a lollipop before brushing my teeth and going to bed. i don't know how i'm going to wake up in the morning.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

oh, alright then

we began the evening with coffee, and then moved on to baked goods. we took a walk through florentin (all this in search of a good bar), and finally ended up at the awesome bar that SB took me to on our first date.

500ml guiness later, and we found ourselves at our favourite coffee shop. spent about an hour ogling the gorgeous waitresses, about fifteen minutes messing with their heads (with amusing results), and then went on to a well-known but seedy pool bar cum restaurant.

we were served by a girl who was simply a phenomenon on two gorgeous legs. i'm still pining, and her telling me that there are other girls didn't really help.

a whiskey and another guiness later, crasher having joined us fairly early on, we left - and ran into magist and two girl-friends of his, who joined us. and our welfare officer, who didn't. we walked to the balcony, which for three of us was rocking, and for the remainder was definitely not. after a beer and some really silly discussions, the girls decided that they couldn't take it any more and we were forced to move on.

i think now is appropriate to mention that one of the girls - most definitely shaggable - spent the entire morning playing both me and the dog. as if we wouldn't notice. i suspect that nothing will come from this, but we've agreed on first come, only served.

we went back to that first bar, and sat down to relax and listen to good music. we left when we got given seriously bad attitude from the waitress (who'd previously been most pleasant), when she realized that we weren't interested in paying a minimum of NIS 40 each. sods.

we somehow got back to our favourite coffee shop, where the coffee was acceptable, the music was great, and the company pleasant - and at 5 / 6am returned home.

not exactly the greatest of nights, but not bad.

Monday, October 17, 2005

sleepy, but pleasantly so

we were prevented from working this morning by a lack of communication infrastructure, so i slept a couple of hours extra in the office.

i had a major fight with the xmldom, and only learned upon leaving that i was using it all wrong. i wouldn't have been using it incorrectly if we had internet access from our office so that i could ******* CHECK online.

and the dog and i had a fight about his "time-wasting" superpower. i was a bit worried by how intense it got, but it seems to have been dissolved. it got me to come up with a solution to a problem that the mongoose and the dog have been having for months with excel files. don't ask how.

no, really. not even as a joke. it will upset me. stop thinking about doing it. i'm not going to respond if you do. i'll delete your posts. and then send horrible viruses to your pc. and your mum. and i don't actually find your mum that attractive. in fact... well, let's not go there.

the two of us did our monthly shopping, came back to his gran's, ate an amazing canneloni lunch, had a beer, and i've been napping since.

i woke up with a call from the previously mentioned girl - i was half-asleep and didn't once have to say "could you say that in english?", so i'm impressed with myself. we talked arbitrarily for 20 minutes, which was a bit awkward because i don't know how attractive i find her... i'll find out on wednesday, it seems. we're going to a concert.

the dog and i are on our way out, to do some drinking and chilling, and then some heavy partying. i'm rather keen!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

smiling moon spitting down

the walk to the lincoln was amazing. it was drizzling just a bit, with a cool breeze gusting. it was just getting dark, and altogether tel aviv was simply beautiful.

knowing how the weather was outside made the lincoln cooler than usual. i played some awesome pool, had a fantastic butterscotch milkshake, and then walked home with the moon shining brightly down.


i've thoroughly enjoyed the syndicate missions i've been playing, just had a chat with my mum, and am now showering and going to sleep.

my day and the weather exhibit congruity

autumn's here! and the weather she be fine, fine, fine.

i was fine this morning. all good. two thumbs up and all that. i learned how to do something crucial to our new project - very AJAX like, lunch was good, and i spent the afternoon dealing with JSP. a bit complicated to get set up, but we did it, and we learned stuffTM.

including something very important, that we were told wasn't possible. it seems that the rest of unit that uses JSP (most of the unit) doesn't produce output in real time, but saves it in strings for later publishing... because they don't know about the out class.

that's just absurd. as soon as everyone's back from the holidays i'm going to check that out (eh, bad pun), 'cause it's rediculous that something so simple and basic has been overlooked by so many hundreds of people.

i got that phone number on my way out of the base, so i'll give her a call tomorrow and see what's happening...

just arbing now, gonna play some pool later on, then crash in preparation for a nothing day tomorrow. w00t!

a doozy!

at least, i think that's the word i'm looking for...

didn't go out last night, so slept like a log until roughly 10am. i spent the morning / early afternoon working (and actually completing quite a few important things), and playing oodles of addictive and compelling syndicate. i'm more taken with it than i was when i first played it (maybe i was too young to fully appreciate it), and i actually enjoy it more without using the cheat. which i haven't. at all.

i'm well impressed with myself, at any rate.

and i still haven't tired of watching people walking around on fire and screaming intermittently.

the mongoose and his sister picked me up, and we went through to a t-shirt bazaar / festival thing. there were some VERY weird people there. VERY. and some very appealing girls. VERY.

oh, yeah - there were some cool t-shirts.

we then took a walk to the place i sat at on friday night, and had belgian waffles. i had banana / coconut this time... i was extremely satisfied.

we walked back - including a stick fight - and then drove through to the mongoose's place. i spent the evening watching tv, and playing chicken invaders 2, and then we got a ride to the lizard.

the party at the lizard was KICKING. i'm SERIOUSLY unhappy about leaving early. great music, great vibe, and the girls were fantastic. i was quite enjoying dancing with one in particular when i realized the time... at least i can get her number without too much hassle...

i'm about to shave and shower, and then it's bedtime. luckily today's one of those days in the army that nobody really takes seriously, and then it's vacation for two days. g'nite.

Friday, October 14, 2005

the return of power

yes, yes... tank's song IS playing in the background. but i feel re-energized, locked and loaded, ready to paaaaaaaaaaaarty!!

i began my day with ben and jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream. i'm lactose intollerant, and i have sinusitis, but no-one, and NOTHING, is going to stop me.

the day was most pleasant. similar to capetonian spring. i walked to point A, where i was meant to meet up with the girl who has my post... but she'd forgotten it. so i continued my walk to SB's, and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping in a hammock on her balcony, reading, and coffee-ing with her and a friend of hers. it was a VERY nice day.

i walked to the dog's grandmother's, got some phone numbers for use when he's stupidly forgotten his charger and is uncontactable, and then took a slow walk back.

very slow. it included stopping for belgian waffles (apple and cinnamon, and banana) while reading and chilling on ibn gvirol. i felt very, very j'ush. suave, sophisticated, cool, snobbish. a toff, basically.

the rest of the walk home was pleasant enough. i sat down to some syndicate, which is MUCH cooler without cheating - cue fond memories of cheating as a kid - and i pulled out some serious whip-ass. i love every second.

i've been arbing internet-wise for the last hour or so, and have decided that i'm going to continue syndicate-ing until i go out for some fun. no work tonight. uh-uh. no bloody way!

robert rankin, ruben rybnik, make for a good end-of-week

two days ago:

i miraculously got up early enough to make the bank. sorted stuff out. in spite of horrible people who can't figure out how a queue works. i finally put some money away in a savings account - i don't really think it'll make much difference though, at 1% - and drew my salary.

the mongoose came over, did some work, and then we went to the comic book store. on a whim, i did a rescan of the place... and i found some 2000AD stuff!


so i now have judge dredd - goodnight kiss, and rogue trooper - fort neuro. and i am *CHUFFED*.

we went through to the mongoose's, and spent the afternoon chilling. supper was amazing, and then the (semi-)fast began. semi because we cheated a little... i crashed for a bit, and the mongoose dragged me out of bed around 10pm (and i REALLY needed sleep) to walk through to bat-yam.

we spent a couple of hours with a friend of his, on an EXTREMELY empty main thoroughfare, chilling and talking and smoking and munching and drinking (damn, not very good at fasting!), before shuffling back (all exhausted) and going to sleep.


i woke up around 1.30pm, and spent the afternoon finishing blood of the fold (hence the ruben rybnik reference), and getting my ass kicked in backgammon by the mongoose's sister.

the breaking of the fast was fan-bloody-tastic. i had a sample of each type of foodstuff, and ended up completely stuffed. and it was all great food.

watched a silly jennifer lopez movie with one eye while reading the first couple of identity comics - great bloody series that.

another friend of the mongoose's gave us a ride to the lizard, and after a few greetings i walked to the lincoln to meet up with firefighter and freshmeat. they were playing snooker - doesn't blow my hair back at all.

amusingly enough, our team leader was there - refused to play me on the grounds that he doesn't like losing - and scout rocked up with a couple of friends. scout and his friends joined us for a couple of doubles games (pool balls on a snooker table, not cool), and shortly after freshmeat gave me a ride home.


by which point i was completely exhausted. i woke up about 1.5 hours ago, have done some internet arbing, and reading of the witches of chiswick (which my mom assures me is pronounced chissick. damn brits. i'm off to do stuffTM, so i have to leave a quote i'm taken with... robert rankin is a king.

'... But God has never really been what you'd call a forward planner. He gets stuff started, then He sort of loses interest and goes off with one foot in the air and one hand behind His back and does something else.'
'Why with one foot in the air and one hand behind His back?'
'He moves in mysterious ways,' said Barry. 'I thought everyone knew that.'

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

4.41. and i was SO wrong.

i can't believe i'm still awake. firefighter and the dog left my place a short while ago, and i couldn't help playing one more syndicate mission. and i've finally finished archiving my blog (notice all the 2004 entries have been moved).

i was on my way to shower and crash, when the dog called to tell me the two of them had arrived at the coffee shop next door, and had already ordered me cappuchino. can't argue with that. we sat and talked for an hour or so, then came back to my place for LOTS of tekken, little bits of programming, and syndicate.

NOW i'm going to shower, and crash for a couple of hours. today's going to be harder than i thought.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

woozy, as usual

long day.

getting up and ready was traumatizing this morning. specifically because i once again got the days confused, and so over-prepared... and then missed the bus.

stopped off at my base to pick up some things, got to the emg appointment right on time.

emg: hours of being shocked with 100mA in EXTREMELY sensitive places, then being stabbed with oversized needles in extremely sensitive muscles and told to flex them. i ended up bloody and sore.

they ended up with bent needles.

i got the result after about 20 minutes: being a soldier is the only time where the last thing you want to hear is that you're okay. my results all came out as "normal".

except the alien hand thing. the nerves in my right hand kept alternating their responses, between normal and what-the-fuck. that cost me an extra half-hour of experiments - which they eventually gave up on.

got back to the base, and had a really interesting heart-to-heart with the gorgeous girl in the prefab next to ours. her boyfriend cheated on her, and she wasn't sure if she was right deciding to end their relationship (and it's only a couple of months, too). so hopefully i've convinced her that she's correct... now i have to wait a bit, 'cause i want to move in but i don't want to be the rebound.

problem is, is that we're already fairly intimate - so i have no idea how to cool things down without cooling them down. dammit.

spent the rest of the afternoon honouring the scout's new rank (we're all the same rank again), and giving a farewell to a great guy who's just left the mongoose's section. funny thing that - stories came out in front of our previous branch commander that REALLY shouldn't have... he's going to be in deep shit when he's called back for reserve duty (the branch commander has no sense of humour).

i'm most upset that winter's arriving. and quickly. the sun set around 17.30...

i went straight to work, to give them a form to sign so i can continue working there, and got a ride to my boss' place. had coffee, gave him a form too, and learned how much pressure we have to be ready for second-stage beta. oh, well.

caught the second bus to tel aviv - the first drove straight past us. the second bus was filled with people complaining about that. and the guy had passengers... the bastard.

got to the dog's place - we'd agreed to do coffee when i got back - to find out he was at the lincoln. i'm not, and wasn't, in the mood, so i came straight home. i'm about to try out the original syndicate on my pc, then shower, then either make an attempt at working or go to bed.

more is nog 'n dag, ek sê.

Monday, October 10, 2005

outrageous -> outrageously sad -> just plain fun

saturday evening:

went to the dog's, dropped off my gear and played syndicate off the original cd. *MY* original cd! the bastard!

we bussed to the lincoln, played GREAT pool for an hour. that amazing waitress was being super-friendly. and she's STILL never been our waitress. i guess that's a good sign. i never find a good opportunity to hit on her though... after we played we sat down at the bar for a while, and i was exhausted. much silliness ensued, and then we farked off to the lizard.


the party at the lizard was cool. the crowd was a bit young, but it was fun nonetheless. i was on the dancefloor most of the night. the mongoose has been promoted to manager, and now that he's responsible there're no more free drinks - but the owner did tell me to come to the post-yom kippur party, so he's obviously not phased that i never pay to get in (well, for myself, at least).

near the end of the party a guy who'd been drinking heavily (and generally stumbling around) fainted. what creeped us all out was that he fainted with his eyes open. the mongoose asked me for advice, and i explained that while i can deal with drug problems, i'm clueless as far as alcohol is concerned...

we got a ride to the dog's, where we spent a few hours drinking coffee / playing syndicate / reading / showering / getting ready for the trip, and then took a bus to the base. we made it *just* in time. i was wearing my overalls and a vest that showed off my tattoo - elicited some interesting comments, and our section commander was most suspicious of my getting inked during my service.

an incredulous "what?! you've never seen it before??" seemed to work.
the mongoose and i got sent off to fill huge containers with ice and water. we got caught having an ice fight next to the ice-machine, which was rather embarrassing. but the fight was fun ;)

got to the buses, only to discover that our systems had crashed - i then had to RUN back to our office to fix it. fortunately it didn't take too long, but it was frustrating.

the first leg of the trip was alright - read and slept. when i got off the bus my nose and throat were dry as hell, and it took a bit of spitting to return to "okay". i thought it was because of the airconditioner.

we then went on a long hike, with many amusing moments. i also got badly sunburned. including my tattoo. that was not a good demonstration of foresight. i got to carry an m16 for the first time since basics, which was actually quite nice.

a good lunch, a long bus ride, and we arrived at the jordan river for kayaking. my nose and throat were at it again, so i went to the bathroom to sort that out. i was busy making some disgusting noises, when i heard the dog call my name. when i answered, he screamed: "what the HELL are you doing in the women's bathroom?!"


we were some of the last people to leave dry land. i was with the mongoose's section's new kid - freshmeat - and the dog was with the officer i keep rollerblading with (shorty) .

general: i was surprised at how well i coped with paddling. my arms are much stronger than i anticipated, and i paddled hard the entire extent of the course. and it was one hell of a long course. i also proved fairly skilled with manoeuvering :) throughout the course, we kept coming upon masses (5-10 rubber-dingy things / kayaks) engaged in combat - splashing each other (and passer's by) and bumping / blocking / attempting to overturn anyone in sight. a few times we just hung our feet over into the water, and relaxed, but that only ever lasted a half-minute or so... we simply stormed our way through the course!

first contact: we caught up to the dog and shorty quite quickly, bumped them into the side of the river and sped on. they were not amused.

betrayal: the dog and shorty snuck up on us from behind, and the dog launched himself into the water and attempted to get onto the kayak. we wrestled and fought for ages, and we were both commited - it was quite brutal. after a few minutes the dog went around and came up on freshmeat's side, at which point i took both our oars and jumped over to shorty's kayak. we fled, leaving them without a paddle, but weren't fast enough for the dog swimming, and he caught up. i went back to my kayak with our paddles - freshmeat was quite upset :D

rapids: we went over smoothly and easily, and so craved more. we saw the mongoose's crew walking their dingy-thing to do it again, and we wanted to as well! we successfully paddled upstream, but were blocked by an official and had to continue :(

boarded: one of the guys from our prefab was swimming around harrassing people, and we invited him to join us (his crew had long gone :P), which led to many amusing encounters. three people on a two-person kayak was fun!

sumo: the highlight of the trip. we passed a dingy-thing with the mathematician kid (sumo) who used to be in our team. so we paddled up, and i jumped over to throw him off. i'd just begun wrestling with him when another crew member jumped over from the other side to assist. for a while i held my own against the two of them, but it then became apparent that they were succeeding in throwing me off.

good thing i looked before jumping back to the kayak, because the two bastards had paddled away and were watching with great amusement from a distance. so i did the only thing that came to mind. i grabbed sumo by his life-jacket, and as i fell overboard i THREW him clear over my head into the water. now, i've seen shit like that in the movies, and always wondered what it would feel like to actually do it. and let me tell you, with authority, that it feels frikkin' AWESOME. it's like the whole world is tilting in slow-motion, and my momentum assisted me in the throw. he just sailed over my head, and i heard the splash before i hit the water.

that's a memory that'll last a lifetime ^#^

in retrospect, it was rather dangerous - i had no idea the depth of the water, and there could have been rocks. so i'm REALLY grateful that all that happened was the two of us getting soaked. i didn't realize sumo couldn't swim (:$), so i gave him a lift back to his dingy-thing, boosted him up, and then returned to our kayak.

we finished the course, and returned to some great munchies, then changed into dry clothes and hopped on the bus, on our way to the soldier's hostel.

it's a nice hostel. why did WE get the mouldy shower? that really sucked. spent a couple of hours amusing ourselves playing pool, eating dinner, and running around the mall being silly. i'll publish all photos as i get them, and there are some BRILLIANT ones.

i got to carry the shortened m16 for a bit, and it was a PLEASURE. i checked it out, it's not actually the m4a1, it's an israeli modification to the m16a1 that looks almost identical. i repeat, such a pleasure :)

we all showered (not a great shower) and went to the party. really nice venue, but the dj sucked ASS. he was horrible. but we WERE at a party for OUR branch, so we couldn't not try, and most of the party was actually a lot of fun. danced a lot (got hit on a bit), but then started feeling totally shite - the dry nose and throat was a precursor to a serious sinus infection, which i'm still struggling with.


i left the party around 12 - 12:30, had a quick cold shower and put myself to bed before fainting. i slept REALLY badly, and waking up was hell. disturbed the others getting up, too. had a real shower, dressed and packed, and went down to the buses.

breakfast was served before the first hike, which i declined to join on the grounds that it was wading hip-deep in water, and my sinuses, nose and throat were KILLING me. so i stayed behind and caught up on some sleep. did me good.

we then went off to a beach near tiberius, which was super chilled. relaxed on beach chairs talking the whole time. our section commander joined us at one stage, and we had a long (and for him, unpleasant) discussion, before becoming civilized and talking like human beings. it turned out quite pleasant, actually.

calculated risk: another highlight. i saw freshmeat and the mongoose sitting on chairs in the water, throwing pebbles. so i snuck up behind the mongoose - freshmeat didn't hint that he'd seen me - and saw from close that they were sitting about a metre into the water. so i pulled up a way-too-convenient chair, quietly place it in the water behind the mongoose's, made sure it was secure, and stood on it to tip his forward. i would have taken off my shoes and socks, but my window of opportunity was closing.

i wish i'd had a video camera.

standing on the chair, i leaned forward and pushed his chair up, but without enough force. his chair moved, he turned around, and said "what are you doing?? leave me alone!". he turned back, and i then made a serious effort.

unfortunately, my chair slowly tipped forward, which resulted in me standing knee-high in the water on the back of the chair. "DAMMIT!"

i convinced one of the guys from our branch to give me a piggy-back ride (i'd taken off my shoes and socks, OBVIOUSLY) to the buses when we left, which caused much amusement. i'm still amazed that he managed - i weigh about 10kg's more than him!

the bus ride home was hysterical. plenty of raucous singing and bad jokes, and we really were unruly. unfortunately, i picked on the other south african, and he took it seriously - a bit of a downer. and i didn't leave myself a way out that would seem sincere, so i'm gonna have to go apologize to him tomorrow morning.

after getting dropped off at the base, i went with the dog for coffee near his place. cute waitress, seemed interested in me so i left a hint when signing the bill for her to use my phone number...

bussed back, the laundry has just finished, and then i'm going to shower and crash. it was a long, long weekend - but absolutely terrific! and made me take an hour to type this all in!

-- addition --

there was a problem during posting, and i only JUST discovered (20 minutes later) that the full post was saved. when i clicked back and recovered the post, i only got the first bit, so here's how i resumed:


Saturday, October 08, 2005

who knows?

what the future? will bring?

spent the afternoon reading, GREAT book. i've now done some serious (and most efficient) packing, and am off blog-duty for the next two days.

*everything goes dark*

...cushioned... is the music still playing?

my ears register nothing but a dull moan, my mind and body have slowed down to a crawl, i'm ready to shower and crash.

i actually tried posting earlier, but the dog's grandmother's machine made sure to cancel everything i wrote. i HATE second posts.


overall weather / atmosphere: stunning. a perfect summer -> autumn day.

i woke up early, drank coffee, put on my uniform, and got a ride to afula. the bus to tel aviv was practically empty, and i comfortably read and rested the journey away. i bought my favourite israeli children's book (lake [my first girlfriend here] introduced me to it) at azrieli, then got a call from the mongoose to meet him at the lincoln. so i hopped on a bus and got there.

we had humus for lunch. really cute waitress, i couldn't help but flirt. i felt like a bit of an idiot when we left for not having at least asked her number - and she was flirting back. i'm such an idiot sometimes. oh, and the humus was AWESOME.
i then found out she's a bit of a celebrity. what is it with me and celebrity types? and what the hell is she doing waitressing?

we took a slow, pleasant stroll through ibn gvirol. THAT's the way to spend a nothing afternoon :)
we found an incredible little bookshop near the dog's place - tiny, filled with all manner of brilliant english books, and run by an ex-irish philosopher. it was an interesting while that we spent there. i bought lolita, and robert rankin - the witches of chiswick, for practically nothing. i've *JUST* started on the rankin book, because i left blood of the fold at the dog's... the language itself is most amusing. so far, so good.

i came home, really appreciating the afternoon, did some laundry and some work, and then showered, dressed, and caught the last bus to herzeliya... and i didn't have to pay for it! but only because the driver was being a nice guy. i really need a "fighter's certificate" so i can travel free without depending on generosity.

i stopped by the boss. i got an interesting check: half of my hospital project fee in advance, plus 4 hours at NIS 20 per hour for the university project. now fair's fair, not giving me a salary when the university project's almost over, but 20?!?! for helpdesk support i get 36!!

so i have a check for about 3 grand, instead of 5.5. that kinda blows a hole in my plans.

supper at the cousins was grand. the couple i stayed with in london are here to sort out an apartment, which we went to see. now, understand that i grew up in a fantastic house - 5 huge floors on the side of the mountain. so when i say that this apartment was STUNNING, take it as fact. huge, stylish, and with a view of most of tel aviv. that's a city away. bloody amazing.

i got a ride to the marina, where i met up with the dog and a friend of his (magist, he's the guy who has the job *I* wanted... running around all day with a machine gun). we chilled for a bit, ran into an old friend of mine from ra'anana (she invited me to her house, and the guys were upset with me for refusing. she's not my type!), and then got taken for a ride by a sneaky taxi driver to get to the dog's place.


had coffee, then walked to the maimad. and DAMN, but the party there was good tonight. fantastic music, we were joined by crasher and some friends of his, and i just went crazy until 5am. at one point this incredibly sexy, cute, hot, beautiful, all-of-the-above girl was dancing next to me, and she had these two long, umm, things hanging off the back of her dress (i'm guessing it was to tie the dress with). so i caught them and tied them to myself, with amusing results.

she seemed to enjoy herself, and a bit later on (after i'd released her back into the wild), i asked if i could steal her number. she gave me a mischievous look, and said "you're really cute! but no."


anyway, crasher wasn't in a good state to drive, so i did the honours. i dropped one of his friends at home, and then myself, and am now off to do as i said. i can't get the gorgeous girl out of my head. buggrit.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

today was just... today.

i was on my way to my base, when i decided it would be silly to go there and then go back to the "city officer", when i was already passing the place. so i went to have my stitches removed.

the same guy removed them - he'd tied them too tightly, so he had to cut (without anaesthetic, with a very sharp knife) them out. he had a different assistant, and she didn't expect my sense of humour and attitude from before. so when he cut, i didn't move, and i didn't make a sound... but she got VERY upset when she saw the tears coming out my eyes.

and then got MORE upset when the dentist and i started making jokes about it. i wish this guy wasn't permanent force - when i'm discharged i want him to be my personal dentist. i'm getting more comfortable with the tooth, and my lips are doing alright ^#^ (i still like the smiley, suck it up).

i spent the morning looking for witnesses to sign the report - and found the guy who's gun had been involved. the dude was STILL apologizing... i took advantage of that and got him to agree to the stupid story we'd concocted, so it seems i'm all secure.

having said that, i heard a TERRIBLE story of a girl who, during the holidays, left her guard duty (not during a shift, during the "on alert" period from which girls are exempt) to go to a party. and some bastard called the officers in charge *from the party* to rat on her.


that shit's not supposed to happen anywhere, and ESPECIALLY not in the army. that's a seriously diseased mind.

finally figured out what our project is, and it's basically reproducing our system, as closely as possible, in JSP. all that means is that i learn the syntax of JSP as opposed to ASP. which boils down to "nothing special". oh well. at least i'll have another acronym to add to my cv.

the dog and i left early, and took the same bus. i got off just before afula, got a couple of buses to arrive at the kibbutz, and have had a chilled evening. with french toast. REAL french toast. with cinnamon and sugar - which is NEVER used in israel. w00t!!

i just spoke to yogi on the phone for 45 minutes - i have no idea what we discussed. i'm not good with telephones. i'm going to shower now, go to bed (or watch harry potter 3 first), and then early morning i'm off to tel aviv. it's such a short visit, but so nice to catch up with the family!

wasted again

i'm so foolish. but that's alright... innit?

went to the relatives in modi'in / jerusalem for lunch. it was AMAZING food. a serious braai. very chilled afternoon. she was looking sexy as hell. but i did have occasion to remember why we broke up in the first place... silly, silly arguments.

once back, i spent the afternoon / evening reading, and backing up (unsuccessfully, i don't know why) and cleaning my pc. didn't do anything of value. went with an old friend and the dog to play pool, just got back now. strange, but my lip's looking all icky, and tonight the absolutely amazing waitress kept smiling at me and stopping to chat. i don't get it. maybe it's like the original crash, and she has a thing for injuries...

the old friend - crasher (we all have memories of a terrible pointless car accident with him years ago) - and i were seriously talking about finding an apartment in tel aviv together. sounds like a plan.

i'm gonna shower, shave, and drop off to sleep - busy day tomorrow. i've decided i'm going to our base first to "check in" before going to get the stitches removed. maybe breakfast with SB? i hope so.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


my word. party was KICKING. it sucked that most of the time i was dancing with my hands over my mouth to protect me from further injury.

and i gave in to the cigarettes, but to be fair, i WAS at a party. and they tasted disgusting. but they picked up my mood, and quickly. damn dependency.

due to my current speech impediment, i tried hitting on a girl by typing what i wanted to say on my phone. with hilarious (but rather unsuccessful) results. there were a LOT of sexy girls.

i'm gonna shower, then gonna sleep. i reckon i've got about 6 hours coming my way before i go off with the relatives to jerusalem.

-- added: right, forgot about the title. erg-lee, 'cuz that's how i'm feeling right now. --

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


PostSecret kicks ASS.

still haven't smoked. still want to. going to bed for a few hours, then deciding whether or not to go to a promising party...

note to self:

DON'T get peanut butter in an open wound. okay, it's only slightly open, but still... i've been SO uncoordinated the last few days. i must be sick.

first things first - if i'd been more able, i would've checked my mail yesterday [translated]:

subject: the photos from the (central army base)... dental clinic

(my real name)! hi this is (the sweet girl's name) the assistant from the dental clinic. i've sent you the photos as i promised! have a good and sweet new year! happy holidays, and take care of yourself and take care not to break more teeth! because i don't have the energy, and neither does the dentist, to sit another 2 hours building you another new one! (lolololol)

feel better ;)

cute :) here're the photos (i look at these and feel like forrest gump's bubba):

during the stitching

after two hours

if anyone can fix the lighting in the first photo - here's the original. it would be nice if it was possible to see the broken tooth in all it's glory, and the gory bits being stitched...

and PLEASE notice that the new tooth (the right incisor - MY right NOT yours) is less wonky than the natural one.

i tried installing vb6 today - the guy who did me the "favour" of burning the installs to disk somehow managed to cock it up, and no matter what i did, it just refused to continue installing. even when it HAD the damn files.

all he had to do was save the files to cd. nothing more, nothing less.

i think tomorrow might be complicated - i've accepted an invitation to go to my relatives in jerusalem, and i can't remember if i was invited to the mongoose's family at the same time.

so basically i slept the whole day. and it's damn near two days without smoking.

Monday, October 03, 2005

dull throbbing

supper was amazing, but the best part was crashing on the couch. the food was great, AND i managed to eat without too many problems.

her father kept cracking jokes about my accident, her mom was most upset (she was a colonel up until january) that i was "playing with a weapon" (although i believe that's not quite the way the phrase is generally understood).

two realizations:

1) it's possible that i've been this exhausted for so long because i'm sick, and haven't been taking care of myself. of course, being this exhausted makes it kind of hard to tell. and i've been getting used to being tired all the time.

2) my chin is painfully bruised - didn't notice until my lips began feeling better.
big parties tonight - i'm going to bed.

i haven't had a cigarette in 27 hours. i'm already noticing the smell of the ashtray. i got another few days to go before i can smoke again... and i'm hoping i'll be able to keep it together and quit.


i hate hallmark

actually, i really hate whoever came up with greeting cards. i bought three, one for each section of the family that'll be at the jewish new year's "do" tonight. not only have i nothing to write, aside from complete rubbish of course, but i really do find it awkward to hand out cards as if they're some kind of prize.

it feels stupid. and i'm sure i'm reading too much into it.

today was a bit difficult. from waking up with my face covered in blood... taking an HOUR just to shave and shower this morning... having odd jobs to do on base, when practically nobody's there... trying desperately not to laugh at the jokes about the incident...

i did sleep a bit, though. and i had a meeting with the med supplies contact, which went well.

i came home and crashed, after eating whatever i could that doesn't have colour (banana? couscous? pita?). in ten minutes her father's picking me up for the "do". i look like shit, feel like shit, and don't know what to do about the cards.

sucked metal

my clocks are right, so i only slept two hours before going to the base. i was seriously agitated, short-fused, and con-fused.

i spent the morning struggling with java awt images. we were informed by our team leader that our project isn't going to be awt, it's going to be web. which completely defeats the purpose of the project. i'm totally sick of working for incompetents.

i replaced scout's "on alert" yesterday so that he could leave early. i prepared a bit for a meeting i was to have later, slept a half hour or so, then went to return the weapon. one of the guys forgot to bring the walkie-talkie, so we were laughing at him and telling him to go - otherwise nobody leaves. i told him i'd carry him, and when he called my bluff i tried anyway. all in good fun.

i couldn't carry him. unfortunately, by quickly shifting his weight (and forgetting he's armed) i managed to get hit in the face, hard, with a "tamak" uzzi (not a personal dinky toy). my mouth exploded with pain, blood flying everywhere, and half an incisor disappeared.

it bled a LOT more than i'd expect. my lips were ripped and i cannot express how shocked and upset i was about the state of my smile.

i went to the clinic, who sent me off to the "city officer"'s dentist rooms. the people on the bus looked in every direction but mine...

i got an appointment, and was waiting when the first-aid room became available. some guy went in, and assured me it was only for a minute. i hate it when people do that.

he came out an hour later.

during the administration of anaesthetic, "comfortably numb" was playing on the radio. i got three stitches, and my tooth looks almost identical to the original. i wanted a photo during the stitching, but i think it came out badly. i'm waiting for that to get sent to me.

the whole procedure took two hours, and then i had to give an official story - and try not to get anyone, including myself, in shit. that was more complicated than it should have been.

i joined the dog, firefighter, and one other at the lincoln. i couldn't smoke, drink, or eat... so that really sucked. i was also completely wiped out. i ended up have fries for supper, and then waited AGES for the bus - i was literally falling over i was so tired. crashed well when i got home, though.

brushing my teeth is HARD. so is the general morning procedure. and i just wanna go back to bed.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

the return of lipgirl

and her fantastic friend. i actually had to search my blog to find a reference to her so i could remember what i called her - and it took me three tries. i find it weird that i've barely used the word party on my blog.

the mongoose called me, to tell me to call his friend and tell her to fetch me, and then go with her for coffee. that was a bit odd. she picked me up, and we went for coffee. then we strolled to the lizard, where the party was AWESOME.

we were dancing, and someone poked me. i turned around, and was looking at lipgirl! "how strange," i said to myself, "i sms'ed her last night and she never responded". turned out that she and her friend had come to the lizard just to see me.

sweet ^_^

i showed them my tattoo, and her friend suddenly recognized me from last week's party. i'd THOUGHT i knew her from somewhere... we spent the rest of the night dancing away, and it was all great fun, and very amusing.

and the two of them are dead sexy when they dance together. i decided i'd take home either of them... or both. i'd be happy no matter which.

they gave me a ride home... and then continued on to rishon le'zion (how sad for me)... and we may do something during the week.

i feel good about how tonight went.

please notice the time i'm posting. is now a good time to be going to bed? when i have to wake up at 6.30am and get in uniform?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

slow motion sideline

my head's a bit fuzzy - it's been a weird day. i hope i'm not getting sick or something.

the day itself was fantastic - the weather was *just* right. i had a mango this morning that i bought a week ago when it was still too hard... and today it was, also, *just* right. first thing in the morning covered in, and dripping, delicious mango bits is DEFINITELY the way to go.

i arbed, reading and catching up webwise, for most of the day. in between i cleaned my apartment - so now i can walk comfortably barefoot again. i've become stupid the past couple of days. i'm assuming it's the deranged sleeping habits, but you know you have a problem when you tell yourself "careful, you're about to do something really dumb", and then do it anyway. case in point: dropping flaky rice cakes on my newly cleaned floor, immediately after noticing that the cables of the wachine machine were periliously close to the bowl that contained them... and continuing to move said washing machine.


i did get a bit of work done - then crashed completely and am now going out for supper. i played some counterstrike while waiting for the hot water cylinder to heat up, and got totally destroyed by ze germans. right. suppertime.


ok, maybe not as much as mr. zerg was, but still...

it took me about an hour to get to work - including the use of a bus for merely a single stop. that sucked, 'cause i was hoping to get a NICE bus driver who'd accept my soldier's id card without the fighter's certificate... i have to get that sorted out. i know it's scaly, but it's not fair.

work was alright. we watched the 40 year old virgin, which is a VERY amusing movie.

i walked through to the center of tel aviv - failing attempts to get in touch with people from the area, and i'd gotten to rabin square when the mongoose called me to tell me that the lizard was having a doof party. tired as i was, my excitement for another good trance party carried me a looooong walk to the other side of the city.

the mongoose hadn't left his house by the time i arrived - and it definitely WASN'T a doof party. the music was alright, but as far from trance as it gets, and not the type of people i was expecting. quite a lot of talent, but i'm not in the right headspace for that right now. so i walked home.

i'm bombed, and disappointed. i'm going to bed.