Friday, September 30, 2005

i am EXHAUSTED. no ways i'm going to work before going to work :P

i've been using limewire for the last couple of months... and have just experienced emule. i'm uninstalling limewire as i speak. i feel i've been jipped!

anger management

the first shift ended at 9pm, but the mongoose crashed his car so the plans got all screwed up. ended up sitting and chatting with the guys, then watching igby goes down. great film.

the second shift saw me at the first phone, and i was inconvenienced by a number of calls. it was a weird group, too. unfortunately, the last call i took was an abusive caller, who caught me totally off-guard and unprepared. i didn't have enough information at my disposal, and we're not allowed to be anything less than polite. and he was *just* not aggressive enough, in my opinion, to warrant disconnecting the call.

he seriously aggravated me, first by telling me i should maybe look for another job, then by constantly making cracks about me being a siberian. i hate stupid people. i hate stupid people even more when they're arrogant and offensive.

got some time to calm down, and played heli-attack 3 on miniclip. a change of style, and far improved.

i had to walk home, and so had plenty of time to contemplate. my attention has been riveted by the incident yesterday when being released. in fact, the girl in question showed me her arm today, and the marks are not only there, they've turned blue.

i am RAGING that that motherfucker, and people like him, exist. i keep wishing, as i'd hoped at the time, that he would have gotten up to fight. i've been playing the scene over and over in my head, and i'm frustrated at the loss of satisfaction i would have gotten from breaking him. in a way it IS selfish of me, but i don't care. he managed to trigger of surge of pure hatred, a total desire to see him learn a lesson in the most crushing way possible.

the situation has drawn up a montage of images in my head, of all the similar situations i experienced, all the suffering i've watched at the hands of these creepy fuckers, throughout my childhood, adolescence, and relatively short adult life - each image reinforcing and fueling my anger.

yeah, i'm a dweller. but next time i know to be more provocative. i'll come up with something better.

i'm going to shower and go to bed now; i gotta be up "early" (around noon) to go shopping. and run laundry. those two things are seriously high up on my priorities list for the weekend. and cleaning my apartment. i only noticed at midnight last night that the mongoose got sesame seeds EVERYWHERE, and i can almost feel the cockroaches on their way over.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

a paneful day

yep, not a spelling error. a window "fell" (all by itself?) from the fifth floor of one of the buildings on base, and landed on a soldier fresh from basic training. the last thing reported is that he was moving and kind of able to speak.
let me tell you, getting around the crowds of observers was a BITCH.
a lot of those kids left the base scarred today. one of them left to intensive care (critical condition).

back to my day:

i had to read my own blog this morning just to remember what was going on. now THAT'S dependency. i've completely supplanted my long-term memory.

it was a very social day on base for me, most of the jobs i had to do were out-of-office, and i know enough people on base to keep me seriously entertained and occupied. i finally got to the end of my quest for code, and it turns out that nobody has a clue how to do what i need.
the dog and i came up with some interesting class designs too - so i have plenty to think about :)

turns out i CAN go on the unit trip - they changed the dates! w00t! but we have to sort ourselves out into rooms of 3, 5, or 6 people, and nobody knows who'll be in which configuration. that's kind of stupid.

i came straight to work - working until 9pm, going out to celebrate a birthday at the balcony, then coming back to work for a shift from 2am - 3.30...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

i was me but -now-, he is gooooooone...


i got to work on time, instead of early, but fortunately we managed to sort things out in a more-or-less timely fashion. i resumed work on the new project - i'll have to think of a good name [edit: gozal. it means "duckling / chick"] - and spent the remainder of the morning missioning for code... there's no need to break my head when others have done it for me.

we had an okay-ish lunch in the mess hall - relatively it was amazing, i didn't have any reason to complain. it's almost unnatural.

we had a farewell for one of the guys in our section. it was huge, and the food was REALLY good. and it was a fun farewell, as far as they go.

i did some more coding, and then went to guard. business as usual, but when we got to the barracks we found them in an absolutely disgusting state. so i took responsibility, and went to complain. the previous shift hadn't been released yet - which is unusual, so unfortunately for them they got sent off with me to sort it out. i felt bad for screwing them over so royally (all they wanted was to go home!), so i helped them out. picked up some graze from the mess hall, picked up my gear, and went off to the first guard shift ceremony.

yogi called me, offering me ANOTHER awesome job. it's a really interesting one, but i'm overloaded. so i started making calls to everyone i know who might be interested, which resulted in me getting in touch with people i haven't seen in AGES. made some interesting plans for the weekend :)

firefighter arrived, and we spent a good part of the evening with amusing stories.

bedtime arrived, but shortly after i managed to fall asleep, we were "jumped", for a five minute check. it took me a while to get back to sleep.


i woke up at 5.30, had a sharp shave and began a wary shift - after being court-martialled during the last shift, i was extra careful when smoking and talking to everyone who passed by. i almost didn't get breakfast, because the second-in-command is an idiot, and wanted to follow all the rules exactly. it took me a while to convince her to check it out with the commander, and eventually she succumbed and threw me a pear.

a pear. a single, solitary, unaccompanied pear.

at least it was a good one.

during the shift, a girl walked past who looked EXACTLY, but i mean EXACTLY like her. i called her name, but she didn't respond, so i assumed i'd found a doppelganger. when she passed the second time, she saw me - and it WAS her! amazing. i expressed my disappointment at not being told she was coming to our base... turns out she's on her way to guard a random base for the weekend.

and talk about being jealous - she's running around with the m4a1, and i get an uzzi. life's - not - fair.

i couldn't draw cash, and got immediately paranoid that something was wrong with my bank account. i spent an hour or two talking with a friend in the mud - well, at least our boots were in the mud - and then paid a visit to my section.

now, i have to be clear about something. my commander's primary argument for not letting me leave the section is that there's nobody to replace me. they NEED me. but when i told him today that there's a chance i'll be given a medical discharge (god that sounds aweful), he looked me straight in the eye and told me not to worry, i'm expendable.

WTF?!?!?! he's just done a 180 turn because it friggin SUITS him. i challenged his hypocrisy, and he didn't even blink before resuming talking shit. he just shrugged it off.

went to a sweet farewell, then went to a really emotional one for the girl whose cousin inked me. her section (she served with the mongoose, firefighter, and the other south-african) made a really nice video, and she couldn't stop crying. she read a long speech through sobs and giggling, and on the whole it was really, really nice. the food was great, so i rather enjoyed myself before returning to the "on alert" designated area.

in jerusalem, they use the word for blowjobs (metzitzot) for lollipops, and i really wanted to thank her: "without you, i would never have been able to make the mongoose's blowjobs a reality" :/ let's just say i stopped myself BEFORE causing shit.

i read for quite a while in the shade, and suddenly felt really crap. i tried going to sleep for half an hour, and suddenly realized that i desperately needed to hurl. i'm VERY glad i made it to the bathrooms in time. it was an altogether EXCEPTIONALLY unpleasant experience - i'm sure it was the food from the farewell... i asked the other guys, and they, too, complained...

being released from guard duty was most amusing. lots of silly incidents, and a lot of people i know to fool about with.

suddenly, i heard the mongoose's ex shouting at some guy to stop, and when i looked he still hadn't stopped. i thought it was a joke, and responded by saying "hey! you KNOW that NOBODY has the right to touch you!" everyone laughed, and she came over and showed me serious tooth-marks on her arm.

i went over to the guy - big guy, badass looking - and asked him what he was doing. "i'm just hitting her around". i'm sure he meant it as a joke. i didn't care. i told him "stand up, and take off your glasses, i'm only going to hit you when you're standing and ready." he didn't stand up, but sat there looking foolish. i told him, in very rough hebrew, that what he did was unacceptable, and sub-human. i asked where he was from, and he told me the name of an incredibly disreputable area... where these kinds of things are unfortunately normal. i told him, seriously, that if he ever wants to show how much of a man he is, he can come and find me, and i'll happily let him know that he isn't.


the girl was a bit upset that things weren't all pleasant, and i turned my back on him and went to return my gun. i felt good about having done the right thing, but i still wanted to fuck him up. some things are worth going to prison for, and i would have gone in with a smile on my face - preferably with a considerable amount of blood on my hands, too.

i turned around to give him a serious "look" - i do enjoy theatrics - but he'd made himself scarce, and quickly too.

i ran into our old branch commander (i kept mistranslating the word to "wing" - that explains EVERYTHING), and caught the tail-end of a video being made for our new one from his previous branch. it was cute.

i did some more code begging, said goodbye to everyone, and left the base.

i arrived at SB's, and we went to a SUPERB coffee shop. we talked a lot for a couple of hours, then i began my trek home (running into a sexy-as-hell captain from our unit, i'm wondering if she saw who i was with. i can't help it - SB IS a celebrity).

i managed to get totally confused, and did a 180 degree turn on dizengoff. once i managed to re-orientate myself, i sorted myself out at a cash machine (w00t! not totally broke!), and then bussed home. now for the usual routine, and then a bit of work. and then sleep. i definitely need to sleep.

Monday, September 26, 2005

all good on the home front

i don't know why, but i felt less exhausted when waking up this morning. i got to the base on time, and didn't desperately need coffee!

highlights from the army today:

1) running into java (jar file) problems, and feeling like an idiot. i then consulted with a group that develops enormous java projects, and they scratched their heads and asked me to let them know when i figure it out. i went online, took the first thing that looked liked a possible solution, and played with it. took a while, and a bit of frustration, but i got great satisfaction from going to aforementioned team to teach them how to do it.

2) finishing my Really Sweet Java App, and getting started on the awesome project i was raving about. i'm totally chuffed. i've got two months to develop the required wrappers and templates, and to report on the amount of hours i spend on each phase

3) having to choose between a fun trip with the entire unit, or getting my EMG test done. sucks to drop the trip, but i've delayed the test long enough

4) the mongoose's female friend bringing in WAY too many people into our office to make a movie clip for the jewish new year. THAT was amusing.

5) turns out my commanders both spoke to the dog today, and asked him why i have more financial problems than he does. aside from the fact that he gave them the reasons, and there are plenty - there's also the truth of my "living beyond my means". to be fair, if i wasn't in the army, i would be coining it. i'm kind of happy to suffer when i get immediate results.

the dog joined me for tekken, and then i had to work. so he sat here watching shaun of the dead, and then fahrenheit 9/11. i got through a large portion of the preliminary design, enough to send my contact an email saying that i'll be taking the job, and that it'll take two months.

are two new projects, both two months, coincidental? i dunno. i reckon it just figures. no - i *DIDN'T* mean the literal definition of the word coincidental. at least one of them will cover my expensive habits. and they're both interesting and important.

i got contacted by my relatives in herzeliya, so i'm finally sorted out for the holidays... i was getting worried there for a bit.

i also feel a hell of a lot better about SB. the crushing blow part is almost over, and i felt good enough to have a quick sms conversation with her this morning.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand i'm spent. i'm guarding tomorrow, so wednesday night i'll be back in the real world. i have to be on base early tomorrow, 'cause our systems crashed this evening, and i have to sort it out before working hours.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

*blank stare*


approximately 00.30, ru55 picked me up with a friend of his from germany, and we drove about 3 hours to get to our destination.

which really was in the middle of the desert. it was absolutely mind-blowing to get out the car, and hear absolutely NOTHING. no ambient sound, whatsoever. and it was so incredibly beautiful.

when we arrived at the party itself, there were about 20 people, and the music was thumping. the dj began playing tunes with a rolling beat, which is nice and driving, but after one or two tunes with that beat it really becomes boring.

apparently the dj didn't have any other beats in his collection.

about 5am i lay down, and woke up suddenly at 6.30. with about 2/300 people around, and a packed dancefloor. even though it was still the same beat.

i milled around a bit, ran into ru55, and we went to the car to pick up some gear we'd forgotten. we got back at 7.30 - and they'd changed the dj. and the music - was - to DIE for. powerful, driving, and totally hypnotic. honestly some of the best trance i've ever heard.

the music continued like this until we left, which was around 11. i couldn't leave the dance-floor... as tired as i was, my body just refused to give up and i went HARD. and had a huge grin on my face the entire time.

hell, there were even pretty girls there, which generally doesn't happen. and all this digging was taking place in the middle of a -real- desert, and it's been two years since i've experienced anything like it. i haven't had that much fun in longer than i can remember, i really let go and got my mind cleared.

and my body a little sunburned... but who's counting?

ru55 got us to the closest petrol station, which was about 20km away, and i drove the rest of the way back. i enjoyed that.

i dropped myself off close to SB's, and walked to her place. it was REALLY nice seeing her again. i had a quick, and much needed shower (i was filthy), and we sat down to talk.

and talk we did. including a few VERY uncomfortable silences, and we were both awkward. eventually i got it together to ask the question that was spinning around and around in my mind: "what about us?"
and although it was anticipated, i still didn't like hearing the answer, and it hurt me a lot more than i expected. whatever the reason(s), we're not happening. we discussed some other things, and she then invited me to join her at some event she was on her way to - which i declined. not only is my heart still bleeding (more sadness that this story has ended like this, for both of us, than anything else), but i was totally broken from partying on top of general exhaustion.

i went for a walk through tel aviv. i found a games arcade, and for a short while distracted myself with machine guns. now there's an arcade machine that i need to OWN.

i got to the lincoln on my way home, and played an hour of pool. i was so down, that i couldn't even look in the eyes of the two cute girls at the next table who were hitting on me (at one point, one scaled my just-lit cigarette, the other then came over, all smiles, to apologize on her behalf. my responses were kind of lacking in humour).

i left the lincoln, and as i was walking out the mongoose called me to say he would be arriving at my place within ten minutes - when it takes me twenty to walk. so i walked until i could catch a taxi - which happened to be VERY close to home. and it cost me as much to get home as it normally does to get from my place to the lincoln, all the way.

that sucked. but the mongoose had been waiting already.

we spent a while talking, and listening to good music. he told me he'd kick my ass in tekken, so i beat him with EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. and badly, too. he got upset, so i let him play counterstrike - which he's REALLY good at. i was very surprised - i'd been worried he'd give my nick a bad name... terrible pun that.

we then took a cab to the lizard. now, i had reached the verge of total meltdown, but a very good female friend (tiny, dead sexy, and seriously lacking in self-confidence) of his had been treated horrifically by some bastard the night before, and he was supposed to be going there again. my job was to beat the shit out of him.

i was horribly dejected, and hadn't eaten anything since the night before. and i did have a half-litre of beer at the lincoln. easy now, this story's not gonna be THAT exciting. i forced myself to eat what would have been a very tasty sandwich, while staring dejectedly into space. actually, the staring into space pretty much defines my evening.


the guy never rocked up, so about 00.30 the girl gave me a ride home. i sat down in the car and feinted. suddenly i was home, and i had to take the stairs up to my apartment very, very carefully. i flopped into bed and slept until...

my alarm went off at 6.30. i have no clue how i got up. got to the base almost on time, and the first thing that happened was i got jipped by the coffee machine, which gave me smelly, foul-tasting water. i got seriously weird looks when i tossed it into a potplant.

i had breakfast with the mongoose. caffeine is the only reason i'm still breathing. i then went to have a chat with my section commander. we shouted at each other for a while. he described a possible project we'll be getting that would be AMAZING, if not for the fact that none of the projects he's promised us have ever come close to fruition. i went to the mongoose's section leader, had a talk with her about possibly moving to their section, and the results were most positive.

and then i spoke to my team leader. i told him everything that had transpired, and he's told me to get cracking on a prototype for the system the section commander described. and that's my job right now.

THAT - is the SHIT. i'm actually excited about doing it. i don't know how things will pan out, but at least for the moment i'll be okay. i'm not in the slightest bit under the illusion that everything's now peachy-creamy, but it does give me hope. if it all goes sour, which is a definite possibility, then i'm going to go crazy and do something irrational.

how's THAT for foresight?

i resumed work on my Really Sweet Java App, and then ran off halfway through a function change to a meeting with the guys from herzeliya pituach, about the SCM system. the meeting was an absolute pleasure, and the work is definitely interesting, but not too complicated. it's a serious system, and these people are talking serious money.

they want the system yesterday, so i've got to begin the basic design right away, so i can estimate time. once we've agreed on design, we'll talk money for real.

it was really nice to meet and have a serious discussion with real businessmen, who know what the hell they're doing. and can see past my uniform. it's always nice to be treated like a professional, and they were most impressed by the things i pulled out of my business science hat as well as my technical expertise. i know i sound like i'm blowing my own horn, but that's only because i am.

i spent the rest of the afternoon working on my Really Sweet Java App (completely forgetting about that function change, and getting bitten in the ass badly), and it's complete. and it turned out even sweeter than anticipated. not only does the damn thing work, and work NICELY, it looks pretty stylish too. i finally gave up on being clever with the other awt layouts, and stuck with the GridBagLayout. not too simple to "get", but easy enough to use. once i realized it works exactly the same as html tables, of course.

i came straight home... dozing off and waking up in a cold sweat every now and again, and have spent an hour working on a problem that's developed on the new hospital server.

after much pain and deliberation, i decided to test the same stuff on mine, and came up with an interesting result: the woman i work with ran exactly the same test on my machine, and NEVER CHECKED THE GODDAMN RESULTS. i have exactly the same problems from here. and we were going through all the code to see what was different between our machines.


so i'm going to get back to that, and the design for the new system (med supplies). and then i'm going to keel over and die.

i haven't spoken to SB today, and i want to, but i have nothing to say. that kills me.

[added later] aaaaand i discovered that the mistake lies with me. there was something different in the database, and it wasn't all her fault. whoops. at least that's dealt with.

Friday, September 23, 2005


how does this work? why is today so much better than the others? why does the universe conspire to assist me today, but i have to suffer for so long?

i watched austin powers 2, which i still find extremely amusing. and i've always enjoyed watching series' backwards. there's a good chance i'm off to a desert party soon - the only party since the doof festival. sad i had to wait so long, but AWESOME that i might go.

and it looks like SB and i will be meeting up tomorrow. w00t!

gonna shower, and then look forward to a good evening. either the trance party, or there's something happening that the mongoose was telling me about, so i'll be alright both ways.

superb! yeah!

nothin' wrong with goldmember. i rather enjoyed it - every inch of it, in fact o_O

i slept well... but realize that considering the amount of time i was awake and active, i've only slept the amount that i should have last night - so i'm still down a good night's sleep.

weird, that. and i'm not tired enough to crash now - hopefully i won't be completely wasted tonight.

i was woken up by the boss, he's set up the server, but i think his IIS settings are wrong. at least, that's the kind of response you give when your eyes are halfway open due to sleep deprivation, and you're asked to get out of bed and test a remote server. on the plus side, since the second the server's been set up, my work's become easier.

not that i'm actually planning on DOING any today. fark off.

SB called me, which was a pleasant surprise. doesn't mean a hell of a lot, but hopefully things'll be cleared up by tomorrow evening. i feel so girly: "i just wanna know"... i'm such a wanker sometimes.
*shakes head* (almost typed heads - freudian typo?)

erm - the mongoose never called me, and it's already 5.30pm... so i *guess* i'm not having lunch with his family. so i'll just arb, and chill. life's hard sometimes, y'know?

i need to clean my apartment - but i need to start cleaning in the morning. i wonder if i'll get around to it, the wossnames - dust devils, that's it - are getting unwieldy. one of them knocked me over on my way to my pc this morning (and my apartment is TINY).

i was reading articles concerning our levels of intelligence due to the technology we have available. it interests me that we've changed our evolution track due to the freedom of information. i'd like to think i'm better because of it. and smarter. but i've always been proved wrong before, so maybe i just fit my theory - only dumb people THINK they're smart. i notice a paradox in what i've just said, so i guess i'm experiencing smart flushes (whoops! there i go again! i'm styoopid, duh...).

sunrise: pretty, pretty sunrise

always a good time to be on my way to bed.

not including travel time, and about an hour where i crashed at work, i spent 9 hours in the army, and then 11.5 hours at work.


we had a lot of calls, and a lot of them were REALLY stupid people. some were amusing though - one guy kept saying "i understand what you're requesting" after every instruction. i think he'd fail the turing test.

it's now 6.13, which means i finished work an hour ago. SB arrived at some point this morning, and has made no attempt to contact me. i get the feeling it's going to be a harsh weekend, because i plan on calling her at some point today...

i need to shower, then crash. yup, that's my game plan.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

what a day!

what - a day!

i woke up this morning having slept enough for the first time in the-elder-gods know how long. i was actually able to open my eyes BEFORE getting to the base!

a pleasant beginning, i got to the base on time, and immediately set about working. minutes into my Really Sweet Java App, i was told we had a problem requesting someone to come and fix our team leader's air-conditioner. normally i wouldn't care, but it's always fun to get things done on base - especially non-work-related things.

office A told me that they don't deal with these problems, i had to go to office B. B told me that they're not responsible for problems like these that occur in OUR unit, and sent me to office C. C put me on the phone with someone who really knew the procedures, and explained to me - in no uncertain terms - that A is responsible. back to A, who then showed me office D, where i finally found the guy.

the guy i had to speak to is one of the base commanders. when i got there, he asked why i didn't come straight there - there's a sign and everything. so i explained to him (in front of his team) that i don't (well, i said can't) read hebrew. much laughter ensued, and then he requested that i take exams for him in english :P

i look forward to that. being owed favours is the cornerstone of any army.

i'd forgotten that we had another volleyball match today, and had left my clothes at home. my section commander was hungry, so he gave me a lift home, i got my gear, and we went for an early lunch. i had a toasted sandwich that was OUT - OF - THIS - WORLD. they had a special going, so i stuffed every kind of meat they had for only NIS 15 (about R20). it was huge, and delicious.

got back to the base, fed the dog fishfood (he was sleeping in his chair with his mouth open, snoring. he had it coming), and then went for my first interview with the new commander of our wing.

-- crazy incident: his secretary made him coffee, i made for myself at the same time. she gave me a funny look, spat in his coffee, and continued stirring. that totally creeped me out, and i really didn't know what to do. --

it was supposed to take half an hour, but i spent an extra half hour repeating to him how dissatisfied i am with my job, and how disappointed i am that the army's wasting me. i actually stumped him completely a few times - he really wasn't prepared for someone with my attitude to show up. i don't think he's going to want to talk to me again.

after a quick coffee break, we had volleyball practice. i'd spoken to our "coach" in the morning, and we came to a good understanding about switching around players. straight after the practice we had the match, and we beat the team everyone was worried about.

two good teams meant lots of enjoyable rallies, and plenty of crazy moves and strikes. we were impressed. i didn't get much game-time, but what i did get i made use of. the switching in general was quite good.

spent the rest of the afternoon figuring out java calendars and dates - not too complicated once you get the hang of it - and finally my Really Sweet Java App is almost ready for testing. i just have to play around with the panels to make it look nicer, and wait for the database to become available so i don't do any accidental damage in case i forgot something important.

i came straight to work, even though my shift only begins at midnight - and they had a use for me. so now i'm sitting and "working", and chilling and catching up net-wise. i'm always amused that the more time i get to surf, the more there is for me to catch up on... "hey all you drug-addicts..."

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

last post for the day

i like being at home all day. i like multiple blog posting. i think i may need to get that fixed.

i'm off to bed soon, just felt the urge to describe (especially after synk's scathing remarks) an awesome counterstrike experience. after finally logging onto a decent server, i was getting my ass handed to me. repeatedly. didn't feel so good.

my score was 1-8. one round with the machine gun, and just going absolutely crazy and firing like mad (true terrorist style), and my score was up to 7-8. and the victims were PISSED. i truly enjoyed the moment, and was totally satisfied as they made it their mission to hunt me down for the next few rounds.

now for the next terry goodkind book (although it's in pdf format, which kinda sucks). and tomorrow's my first inspection in a long, long time. yippee.

before i forget...

the most insightful comic i've ever read: crfh

the dog bought himself a harmonica today. he said he was thinking about me when he bought it, but somehow TOTALLY FORGOT TO $!@%ING BUY ME one. maybe this is his form of revenge. and he's used it already, so i'm not swiping it.


anyways, i've updated my profile. i listed all my Favourite Movies Of All Time, but the list was too long. i tried cutting it down unsuccessfully - there're just too many that i can't leave out. and i forgot to copy and paste, and i'm NOT compiling that list again. sorry.

i think my fix for the new bugs worked, so i'm back on my own pc. it's like a security blanket for me. *sucks on the corner*


that tastes FILTHY.

i think that's as interesting as my night's going to get.

later that day...

and then i remember that a not-quite-ripe apple is the only way to go.

we worked hard today - and we're in beta! FINALLY!

just before we finished, i went out and got a hot-dog, that turned out the be the best hot-dog i've ever eaten. i walked back munching in a daze.

i crashed hard, woke up almost 2 hours ago with a call to say that the university system's in shit again. programmatically, i don't mind learning things in order to create something. what i loathe is having to learn something completely new in order to fix a stupid screw-up that belongs to someone else. and i can't test the results directly, so i have to wait for my boss to become available. so i'm stuck using the work-machine until this is resolved, which means blogging and checking mail is all i can do with my time.

i'm missing the unit event. i don't care. i'm sure i'll find out how wonderful it was tomorrow morning. i went and did some shopping, had an unpleasant experience with some old woman who was convinced that if she could sneak things into my pile, i'd pay for them. i opened my mouth to say something scathing, and then thought better of it.

i was still a little cloudy-headed on my way back home, and was jarred into alertness by the sheer agony of the oracle development i do on a day-to-day basis. i don't know why, but an incident flashed into my mind that occurred a few days ago, where i got so frustrated that i scared the shit out of scout by screaming and storming out.

hmmph. at least the java dev's fun.

i'm home! i'm HOOOOOME!!!!

from yesterday:

8am sharp i arrived in my office. 8.15 the dog arrived. fortunately for him the commander

was a bit late, so he didn't notice.

we had a meeting where we got crapped on, and punished in all sorts of unpleasant ways.

not the least of which is that we have to remain in full uniform even when in the privacy of our office. with spot checks.

fugging prick.

yesterday was the first day since i began serving that i REALLY got to program. way better than the crappy c xml parser i wrote once upon a time, and for the first time i've actually worked with java's awt and database stuff. and it's not NEARLY as complicated as the tutorials made it out to be.

i suppose if they'd just been coded better... nevermind. i finally understand what it's all about, and i'm THRILLED. i actually ENJOYED working yesterday.

i had to choose between staying an hour and a half on base last night, or staying on thursday night. i'm working night-shift on thursday, so i had to accept. the 1.5 hours became working until 2/3am. i - got - FUCKED. not nearly as badly as our connection on the induction base, 'cause due to all my guarding, i'm always ready to sleep on base.

i spent a couple of hours with friends (and very pretty girls) while they were guarding, so it wasn't all bad.

while the dog was still with me, i got a call from a crazy kid who used to train with us... he's being inducted into the army in a couple of months. we're going to try to get him to join us - that would kick ass ^_^

and he'd kick ours', he's a brilliant and strong fighter. not just that, he's now officially the first person i know who trains in "tricking", which is absolutely the SHIT. maybe i can learn some funky stuff from him. after all, he was my primary teacher in taekwondo for my first year... (which also means he's caused me an incredible amount of pain)

so eventually i crashed, and woke up at 9am this morning. after brushing my teeth, i went for coffee with some buddies, and then left the base. i just got home, sweltering heat once again, and am currently working. looks like we just might get to beta this week!


finally doing some laundry, and gonna try to get out of some arbitrary unit event tonight. i got a call about a new project, so i'm meeting the guy on sunday, and there's a chance that a friend of mine might be able to pull a few strings army-wise to get me the hell out of where i am. i actually reminded my section commander yesterday that he's a bastard and knows that he can't justify keeping me around.

must - rest... must - shower...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

i'm passing out.

i was so tired between last night and this morning, that i woke up certain it was tuesday. so i woke up late, then missioned off to the bank, assuming i was on a half-day holiday.

hell, i even had breakfast on the way. thoroughly enjoyable belgian waffle, with oodles of chocolate, and good coffee. things were going well.

i never made it to the bank. for some reason - which nobody's been able to explain to me - all the bus routes were changed this morning. it took me ages to get the right stop... and after waiting half an hour (in terrible heat) i noticed a sign saying that the lines i was waiting for have been closed until the end of the year. or something to that effect.

by that stage, i had to return to base. and even if i HAD made it to the bank, for what i need to do i can only go on tuesdays, so it wouldn't have helped.

but i didn't know it was tuesday yet.

i found out when my team leader phone to scream at me for being late. i argued with him, but when i realized what had happened all i could do was laugh. he eventually found it amusing too. sad that i've had to cancel the half-day holiday for tomorrow, but i wouldn't have made it to the bank anyway.

i did a smidgen of work, then went for a humus lunch with the mongoose. then worked a bit more, then went to volleyball practice.

between practice and the match, i had a long talk with our section commander, and unashamedly told him how i feel about my job in the army, and reminded him that he doesn't need me - any monkey can do my job, and that i want to leave. he's still sore about it. i still can't officially talk to anyone about it.

the tournament: match 1. we should've stormed them, instead beat the 2 - 0, leading with 6 and 3 points respectively. and for two reasons only: because our "coach" switched players badly (which we'd discussed before the games, and he thought he knew better), and because players had difficulty returning to their positions.

i was surprised at how satisfying it is to be the person who wins the last point - they couldn't respond to my serve. extremely gratifying. that on top of a generally well-played game.

the dog got a call from his mom, so i grabbed the phone from him and gave her a FULL REPORT, from my perspective, of how he's been. the dog's face went from shock to horror, and he didn't know what to do. i've been waiting for an opportunity to speak to her in front of him for AGES, and this had hilarious results. he was with me when i promised to keep her informed, and i think he conveniently forgot that he was part of the deal.

i couldn't stop smiling for the next half hour, while listening to him defending himself (unsuccessfully, his mother's insane and cannot listen to reason) as his mom went on the attack.

i really am a bastard sometimes.

we (the dog, scout, and myself) hung around a bit while waiting for firefighter (can't be arsed to look up what i called him last time), and then we all went off to the lincoln. due to confusion with bus routes, this took a LOT longer than expected, and involved much silliness and singing together at the tops of our voices.

the pool was fun, and scout's improving dramatically after only a couple of times playing with us. nice to see that :)

we then went for supper to the zinc. i had the best roast-beef sandwich (well, vertically challenged sandwich, anyway) of my life, the others seemed happy with their meals too. and we drank beers, even though in uniform (it was the waitress! she made me!). aside from the food the atmosphere was great as usual, and we all told funny stories.

i took a bus home - broken from the moment i left the table - had a cool shower, and HAD to blog before going to bed. we have a meeting at 08:00 sharp, and we've been warned about being late. i get the feeling the dog's going to fuck up, and i've been told by both commanders that if he does, he's gonna be in deep shit. i don't know if i'd feel more sorry for him than amused by him, but he's had it coming for a long time now.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

only when it counts.

i'll begin at the beginning - waking up bright and shiny in the morning.
a sweltering morning.

arrived on base and resumed my task from last weekend, and learned some nifty ms word stuff in the process.

i went to talk to my welfare officers about my situation, to see if they could help me out at all. the result of which: i have a choice. i can continue to live more-or-less close to tel aviv, and close enough to be able to see friends and go out every so often (more often than less, lately ^_^)... OR, i can move to a cheap and nasty apartment near the base, and be able to quit working so hard.

big decision, that one. at least i remember now what it is i'm suffering for. i'm suffering so i can have a semblance of quality of life.

the guy in charge of guard shifts called to say he hadn't got my note, so i had to go over there and point it out to him (it was on his desk, in front of him. he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer).

what i found quite disturbing was that even though we've never spoken, he knew exactly who i was from the moment he saw me.

i guard too much.

so we had a friendly chat while sorting everything out, and i'm in the clear.

spoke to the guy i'm doing the data haven project with, and we ended up with an understanding that my current situation is not condusive to the work... hopefully i'll be discharged relatively soon, but there's no betting on that.

lunch in the mess hall was actually pleasant. THAT was surprising.

the dog was up north, so the other guy in my team - i really should come up with a good name for him: i'll call him scout - and i went for ice-creams and arbing. got called back by our team leader to deal with an emergency. another oracle emergency. i LOATHE oracle.

this time, we have a deeper understanding of what's wrong. and it's TOTALLY illogical. basically, everything's been running fine, after a WEEK the code develops an infinite loop. all by itself. if we run it manually, there's no problem. but once the problem's started, there's nothing to do but kill all the sessions and redefine everything.

i ABHOR oracle. i actually let my commander know EXACTLY how i feel, not only about oracle in general, but about our systems specifically. he was shocked. i actually BEGGED him to let me in on his secret for dealing with this shit, and it turns out that he actually agrees with me, but is too lazy to care as much as i do.


i finished the ms word job, and then ran off for volleyball practice.

it was boiling hot, and we worked HARD. we were absolutely revolting afterwards, and my eyes were crusted with dirt and dust, and i got mildly sunburned. and dehydrated. but a few of us did well, and managed to teach the hangers-on a thing or two. hopefully the match tomorrow will be dealt with correctly. if we choose the correct team configuration, we'll kick their asses. if we don't, we'll be humiliated.

i dealt with the guys responsible for fixing our servers... a few weeks ago, we requested that they fix one of them. it doesn't MATTER what's wrong with it. every few days, they've called to make sure that we still want them to fix it. today, they'd finally called in an external techie, and wouldn't let him touch it until i'd given the go-ahead. so i explained to them in no uncertain terms that i didn't care how, the server would be up and running and better than before.

they finally fixed the damn thing.

and it's up and running and better than before. amazing what a little aggression achieves in the country. i hate that it's necessary.

i bussed to the lincoln, got there all smelly, but in time for coffee and a chill before warm-up. i SUCKED for half an hour, then began the first round.

the guy i played was REALLY good, and i still wasn't in game mode. he made a few mistakes here and there, and i was on/off the whole time. eventually, we were 4-4, and it's first to 5. he was going for the black, and i still had 5 balls on the table.

and i got into the zone. i cleared the table with absolutely fantastic shots, and off the last one lined up perfectly for an easy shot on the black.

i focused, i KNEW what to do, i exhaled... and shot. and put the black ON THE GODDAMN POCKET. he couldn't have missed unless he was trying. i GAVE him the match. when it counted the most - but REALLY counted - i fucked up. that KILLED me.

i said my goodbyes, then went to wait for the bus.

waiting for the bus gave me an opportunity to reflect. it rained - RAINED!! - while i waited, and the atmosphere gave me a moment to collect my thoughts and to get back to my natural state. felt GOOD.

after missing a couple of busses due to overloading, i finally got home, and still haven't showered.

why haven't i showered?

because i've been working. i was totally stressing at all the changes that needed to be made, had a crazy argument with the woman i'm working with, and then we discovered that she's been misusing the stuff i wrote, which resulted in us arguing about different things. turns out what i've done is just fine - more than adequate, really - and she's just begun testing. now to wait and see.

and shower. and go to bed, at some stage. i'm bloody exhausted.

a nice ending to a chilled weekend

i got my ass handed to me in counterstrike. then sammy came over, and i handed his ass to him in tekken - although in his defense, he DID get a match in on me at the end.

we then went to play pool, which was great fun. played like crap, but was time well spent.

he dropped me off at the lizard. the music was good, but not for dancing. i spent a lot of time chatting and drinking, then made my way home. i had a long conversation with my mom, and the conclusion of that conversation is that it would be best if after my EMG on the 11th of october, the army decided to let me go. i could get a real salary, move to an area i'd be happy in, save money, work on my projects, and sleep.
oh - and travel a bit, including south africa.
all of which sound absolutely SUPERB to me.

i just posted something important to me on slashdot: here.

going to shave, wash dishes, and crash...

Saturday, September 17, 2005

blown away.

terry goodkind - stone of tears is without any doubt the most powerful, enticing story i have ever read. and SO well told.


i'm completely gobsmacked.

*wipes tears*

slashdot post about a man who allegedly burned carpets and plastic (?!?!) due to static buildup

i got a response from the email i sent back regarding the phishing scam. not only did i NOT get the photo i requested, but it was a lame autoresponse with all the details and some more crap.
i must admit, i'm disappointed. well, if nobody's prepared to actually READ my email, then i'm not going to participate.

in other news, i have done nothing of value so far. and i'm PROUD of it!

now... to continue...

mmmm - pleasant

NOW i remember why it all felt so right yesterday morning - because i'm nocturnal. and when i'm able to sleep in my normal cycle, then i become a morning person.

i read myself to sleep last night, then got woken at midnight by the mongoose. so i went to the lizard. had a bit to drink. then we went to the maimad, which kicked ass. it sure did feel nice to let go - but there were no pretty girls, so i made the mongoose walk around the area with me until i'd ogled enough.

now it's time to read some more - i'm guessing i'll fall asleep again.

Friday, September 16, 2005

the end of an era


i'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that i, for the first time ever, got to the next stage in gta2. but it was fun!

- back to being brainless -

roll out of bed - earn 15,000,000 pounds!

thanks, synk, for the inspiration:

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr. Liam Johnson []
Sent: Thu 15/09/2005 16:58
To: undisclosed-recipients
Subject: From London.


Please accept my sincere apologies if my email does not meet your business
or personal ethics. I introduce myself as Liam a staff in the accounts management
section of a well-known bank here in the United Kingdom.

One of our accounts with holding balance of £15,000,000 (Fifteen Million
British Pounds) has been dormant and last operated, three years ago. From
my investigations and confirmations, the owner of this account, a Foreigner
by name Gerald Stone died on the 4th of January 2002 in a plane crash in
Birmingham here in UK.

Since then, nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money,
as he has no family member that has any knowledge as to the existence of
either the account or the funds; Information from the National Immigration
also states that he was single on entry into the UK.

I have confidentially discussed this issue with some of the bank officials
and we have agreed to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with. We therefore
propose to do business with you, standing in as the next of kin of these
funds from the deceased and funds released to you after due processes have
been followed.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is legitimate
and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other illegal

On your interest, let me hear from you.

Warm Regards,


RE: From London.

I'm so glad you got in touch with me! I was just recently complaining to my wife that without some kind of miracle, we're going to have to take out a second mortgage. And put the kids (two of them, a darling boy aged 12, and our little princess aged 7) up for sale.

Just kidding!

I must admit I was wary at first, but after reading your email through to the end, this seems like a safe bet - it seems too good to be true! I'm certain nobody with your command of the English language would even *consider* getting involved with shady dealings.

The truth is, my father died in a plane crash a relatively short time ago, and one of the things I'm most concerned about is that this man, Gerald Stone - a man who was capable of amassing ENORMOUS wealth (to be honest, I've never even THOUGHT about commanding even a tiny fraction of that amount!) - has nobody to remember him fondly.

So, let's make a deal. If you will send me a photograph of yourself putting flowers on this man's grave, I will be MORE than happy to check into the details of getting all this money sorted out. In fact, my fee would amount to no more than a small percentage. I don't really need that much money, but I would like the satisfaction of knowing this man isn't completely forgotten.

Looking forward to doing business with you!

Your partner,


PS. I will be in London for a short time in the next few months - perhaps we can meet up?

i'm wondering if i'll get a photo or two...

this morning - i had that sensation of a cape town morning after a hard party... i don't know why. but it was a good feeling. i slept like a baby, i slept until 3.30pm, and have done nothing more interesting than hang online and tune out anything and everything that taxes my base facilities. in other words, i'm switched off and sitting with a small smile on my face.

i really was hoping to do some serious partying tonight, but the prospects don't look too hot. i can't find a single party listing!

i think i'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon / evening alternating between napping and reading.

crazy shifty thingy. and muffins.

i'm lying about the muffins.

the shift was nuts - we just had call after call after call. i think the panel companies screened the participants with a maximum iq level. on the plus side, i worked 11 hours, so that about covers my cash needs for next week fairly squarely.

i caught some sleep too, so i'm alright - which means i'm off in about half an hour to draw cash to pay my utilities bill...

that about covers the night.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


i woke up at 10.30 this morning with a raging headache. my hangover lasted me until evening. i got to the base at 11.15. my section commander was NOT impressed.

i did some running around, had lunch, and then went to physio. physio consisted of a massage and an electric nap. i then walked to the emg place (the hospital is a small town in it's own right), handed them my referral, got an appointment, and took a bus to work.

i had a looooong conversation with yogi - longer than the ones i have with my mom - which was interesting, and then began the evening having coffee with sammy, mail-checking, and just getting my ass kicked in atomic bomberman. ten minutes to shift - off to smoke!

shining eyes

today began as most army mornings begin for me. except for the bit where i watched cartoons (ok, the 2nd episode of gargoyles) while eating trix and drinking coffee. that was nice.

i got to the base, and for the first time was allowed through the spot check because the girl on duty trusted me when i told her i had everything. and i did. as usual.

ran into my team leader on the way to my office, who gave me interesting instructions, the result of which led me on a merry treasure-hunt through the base. i did a bit of work, laughed at the dog who's now really lost his soldier's id... and had to REQUEST punishment in order to get it replaced.

hee hee.

one last job before leaving the base led me to work with the sexiest girl on the base. sweet too, i can't say i didn't enjoy the experience.

and then it was off to the induction base. to be a techie for the day. the guys i had to work with were helpful, and i spent most of the day installing a win2k server with the most enjoyable deployment tool i've ever worked with (it's hp's, and it's NICE). i got a hell of a lot of reading done.

by the time i got out of there, it was pointless to return to my base, so i headed straight home. i got home at 5.30, and had to be at azrieli center at 6 to be picked up to go to the wedding. talk about a rush. and i was trying desperately not to sweat. it's not polite to be smelly when arriving at a wedding.

hurriedly showered and got dressed, and went out. got into a cab, and suddenly realized that i'd left my phone at home. i JUMPED out the cab, and SPRINTED home (i had ten minutes to get to our rendezvous).

i flagged a taxi, who drove ATROCIOUSLY to stop for me. and then bitched about the person who'd hooted at him, and said it was because it was a woman.
i let him have it. i told him EXACTLY what i thought of his driving, AND his attitude. he kept his mouth shut for the rest of the drive.

i hadn't been called, so i went into the center and bought a card... while writing in the card, i realized i had no idea what the bride's name is. SHIT. instant panic. what does one do in this situation??

so i started calling up friends to get them to check my mail for me. the dog was guarding, sammy was driving. i was standing at the shelter talking to the wolf, when i tried to straddle a post to sit down and fell over backwards. i blame the state i was in. i fell really badly, grazing my elbows and back - but managed to keep talking on the phone the whole time. as the wolf was getting somewhere, i heard my phone beep an incoming call, and hurriedly cut the conversation on the assumption that it was the guys who were coming to pick me up.

it turned out to be sammy. so i called him and told him how inconsiderate he'd been - and i knew he'd only called out of curiosity. whatever, not exactly his fault.

i spent the next few minutes dusting myself off and cleaning blood, and then got picked up. it was an interesting drive to the venue.

the wedding was REALLY nice. the wedding ceremony itself was very short and to the point, which was a bit weird, but i met a lot of really nice (and interesting) people there, the food was awesome, the music was great, and it's the first wedding i've been to in ages that i wasn't in uniform.

way more comfortable.

just before the ceremony, i had this flashback of the first time i saw SB. and i spent the rest of the night with the image of her eyes imprinted on my mind's eye. she has the most beautiful eyes. when we left, i sent her an sms saying so - i hope it's well received, as it was 7am in thailand when she got it :P

one of the guys got horribly drunk (forgivable: on top of the wedding, it's his birthday today), and we had quite a time taking care of him.

i think i upset one of the girls... we got along really well, and i'm not interested in more than friendship...

the ride home was pleasant - a long technical discussion as the driver works in high-tech with assembler and interesting algorithms. by the end, i got offered a job ^_^ (after i'm done with the army, of course)

it's now 3.30am, going to have a shower then go to bed... so i can wake up at 6.30. whoopee! but it's a short day anyway, as i have physio in the afternoon.

final thought from my mommy (source:

South Africa's Katrina Volunteers are on the way...

[ South Africa ] After relief groups have successfully ended negotiations with the U.S. about assistance for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, South African spokesperson for the Red Cross, Jacqueline Harvey, has confirmed our countries participation in the relief effort.

It was confirmed that at 9:15am this-morning, 4 plane-loads of volunteers from Soweto left JHB International, bound for the Mississippi to assist with the looting. - Sapa DPA

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


still annoyed by the whole army experience... i've now got the same complaints and whining going on that every soldier does. amazing how my perspective's changed in such a short while.

i struggled out of bed this morning, but made it to the base on time. i got given menial work today... and i was grateful for it.

SB's coming back in just over a week, and NOW i'm falling for a really cute girl in the prefab next to us. not that it detracts from how i feel about SB, and they do have the same name - but i have this thing in my head that considering how uncertain SB and i are about our being together, that maybe i should be finding myself a buffer.

lunch was AWESOME. our team minus our team leader picked up the mongoose and went off base for a humus lunch. which was EXCELLENT. i surprised myself by finishing the meal, which normally never happens, and we spent about half an hour in hysterics over all sorts of amusing stories.

one of which, i feel MUST be told, was from the mongoose.
he's been taking sleeping pills, really strong ones. so he takes one before bed, and is reading comics to sleep, when a good friend of his sister, a really sexy one (and soon-to-be legal), went into his room and starting flirting with him.

he tried really hard to keep awake, but the pill kicked in around the point where they were discussing her tattoo, which is in a rather personal place, and she was about to show him.

that's all he remembers before everything went black, and when he woke up in the morning she was gone.

we returned to our office, then i went off to the physio. i love busses again, 'cause i've got an amazing book to read... i'm only about halfway through and i've been reading for a week.

my new physiotherapist is an ex-south african, and talking to him was entertaining. not only that, but he definitely knows the right way to hurt me, and by the time he began with electrotherapy i was mashed. pulp-like.

half an hour dozing with electricity buzzing through my tattoo - the only bit that worried me was potentially damaging it. oh - and every now and again it'd get painful.

oh well.

i learned that the most likely cause of my back and neck problems is computer usage, and the advice given was to get up and move around for a couple of minutes for every twenty minutes spent in front of the monitor. not easy to do, but definitely sounds about right.

i was on my way back to base when our systems crashed, so i visited the induction base and got to see the sights from the other side. it was amusing. and it also wasted time.

i got back to base minutes before the end of the day. as i was entering the main gate, my team leader called me to scream at me about visiting our "customers" without clearing it with him first. i told him he didn't have to shout, and we argued over whether or not he'd shouted until i got to his office... and then continued the argument in person.

i went back to my office, checked mail, and called him up angrily when i saw that he'd been misinformed, and had been angry with me when i really was in the clear (one of our "customers" told him i'd promised something that i'd explicitly said was up in the air).

we then had an argument over whether or not i'd shouted at him.

the dog and i went to his gran's place, where we watched tv and had supper, and then i bussed home.

the shower i had was desperately needed, and i'm definitely less smelly. even though the weather's relaxed, it's still blazingly hot by SA standards.

i finally got around to a piece of code that's been worrying me, and ended up with a frightfully elegant solution. i've been very focused on keeping the system clean, and i keep surprising myself when i modify it successfully. we've been developing so long i've forgotten some of the mechanisms, and i used some of the earlier ones to sweep everything up nicely... without getting anything under the carpet.

i've been online and catching up for about an hour now - gonna finish up in a bit and go to bed. no rollerblading for me, but the time was well spent anyway.

Monday, September 12, 2005

two more days to be forgotten

right - on top of a long day in the sun, i've had a bit too much too drink. all's okay... i think...


i arrived on base at 10am. i had a long talk with my commander, and explained that i'm not a normal soldier and i really do need a little consideration when it comes to instructions that leave us stuck on the base until late.

i went to the dba section for a meeting, and they were THRILLED to see me. honest. i'd gone to ask a simple question, and we discovered that our database was so badly designed that it was full of critical errors that needed to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY.

a couple of hours pass...

had lunch with the team, and the rest of the workday got split into lots of flirtation with the girls in the nearby prefabs and arbitrary work assigned every now and then by the team leader.

went off to get my uzzi for guard duty.
the first ceremony took ages, 'cause they've added new sections to the list of obvious things that everyone knows, but has to be told anyway. that killed us.
i got volunteered to lower the flag, which sucks. i still don't have a clue how to do it - the fact that nobody else does either doesn't make me feel any better about it.

prepared for guarding (got my shit together, organized a sleeping bag), and after a mediocre supper joined the rest of the guards for the formal shift start. then i crashed (6pm).

i was woken at 8.30pm by a creepy-crawly sensation. ants, hideously large ones (we're talking mutants here). hundreds of them. that was very unpleasant. i spent the next 1.5 hours milling around and not sleeping, and then went up to guard.

my shift absolutely FLEW by. i read the whole way through, and thoroughly enjoyed every second. amusingly, i was totally busted. first by the guard commander - after catching me reading with a cigarette (two forbidden things), we spent half an hour talking about the few years he spent in south africa. about half an hour later, his second-in-command arrived, examined the book, asked how it was, and left.

i'd received a really odd waterbottle, that looked like something one would expect out of a kiddie's lunchbox. so during the shift - the dog had fallen asleep in the office, and woke up around 11pm - the dog explained to me that it was a waterbottle generally issued to members of his unit. so i found a marker and turned it into "nachlawimon - gotta catch 'em all!". it came out great.

i chilled with the next shift before going to bed, and i slept like a baby.


i was up at 7am for food, and had breakfast (1 boiled egg) playing gta2 in my office. at the closing ceremony, two girls were volunteered to raise the flag, and much silliness ensued as one of them refused. very cute.

instead of getting some more sleep, i was hurriedly sent off to replace girls who were guarding one of the gates - totally not okay for them to guard, apparently. sexist, if you ask me. and it was only an extra 1.5 hours on duty, so why should i complain? or, at least, why should anyone pay attention to me complaining?

i spent the first hour or two with the usual guards... it was cool... until one of the security officers caught me. and took down my details. and sent me off to be court-martialed.

sick fuck.

so i was completely panicked, and had no idea what to do. our section commander managed to get himself locked in a toilet stall for about half an hour, but managed to get out just in time to help me out, and actually stood with me during the proceedings. i was nervous as hell, and was stuttering in hebrew - didn't understand much of what the judge was saying. but it ended alright - so i don't care. i'm just pissed off that i was there at all... the guy who caught me out of my post has been screwing soldiers over left and right since he returned from the disengagement...

and, after the court-martial, i resumed guarding. nice, huh?

i got my head shaved, then went to sleep. DAMN, but i slept well. at 4pm returned my weapon and hurriedly cleaned my waterbottle (scratching marker off is unpleasant) to avoid another court-martial.

i got roped into 4 hours of AMAZING volleyball, and spent some time afterwards coaching one of the guys who's playing with us in the inter-wing tournament.

the dog and i came back to my place, tekkened a bit and took turns showering, then went off to play pool at the lincoln. good pool, too much to drink.

that kid provides me endless, but i mean ENDLESS entertainment. he was about to miss his bus home, so he ran... and his soldier's id card fell out of his pocket. so he missed the bus, and then spent the next while walking up and down the street searching for the card. when he got home, he discovered that he'd also dropped his house keys...

i was going to work, but i'm broken. good night.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

a visit to the marabar caves

ok... i did some work in the evening. i then walked to the lincoln, and got at couple of practice games in before the dog showed up. we played some fun pool, but i cut it short when i learned that the dog had arrived without any money... AGAIN.

so we finished our drinks at the bar, and had a serious conversation about our army service. and we both agree that the time has come to just say "fuck it". i don't CARE what our section commander thinks, i'm just going to do my best to get as far away from this work as possible.

we walked to the lizard. THAT was a good party. i left while it was still going strong, but a couple of songs are stuck in my head. the first is from an israeli musical about the political situation, which goes something along the lines of "open your legs, we need you to have palestinian children so that our nation can be strong" (said to a jewish girl about to be raped). heavy song.
the second is hebrew hip-hop about "the party", and generally going crazy.

i had a moment, after quite a bit to drink, where i just zoned out and thought about where i am, who i am, and what i'm doing. disquietingly similiar to my pre-millenium experience. but the bottom line is that i'm going to be okay. i'm going to figure out how to proceed, how to proceed while suffering less than i have been, and i'm going to do it. everything's going to be fine.

i said my goodbyes, walked home, and had an amusing incident in the corner cafe when i went to buy smokes. i've been smoking red gauloises blondes, and the guy there told me i'm the only one who does. considering that i'm buying at least a carton a week, there's no problem :P

and they were most amused by my tattoo. i didn't have enough cash left over, so the dude sponsored me a chocolate bar. nice one ^_^

i'm pretty much off to bed. fighting with my commanders tomorrow will be straining enough without sleep deprivation.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

lookout point

not quite makeout point, but anyways...

observation 1:
my body has no idea what it needs. *I* know it needs lots of rest, but it decides to wake up after a mere 4 hours.

so i obliged, and did some gaming. for about 5 hours. i couldn't be arsed to go outside, and i was out of smokes, so...

observation 2:
i eat a LOT when i don't smoke. i actually shocked myself. i actually felt physically good without the cigarettes, but i'm not quite ready to chuck 'em yet ;)

observation 3:
the afternoon nap feels almost as good as the morning one... but not quite. there's just something special about going to bed when the sun rises. although waking up when the sun sets also has something going for it.

observation 4:
i am SERIOUSLY lazy. i'm supposed to be working. and supposed to have worked. not a damn.

*drives off lookout point*

damn south africans

sometimes i HATE being a south african overseas.

i walked (1.5 hours) to the dog's place, and supper was really pleasant. i left his place and walked (another hour or so) to the lizard, where i spent ages sitting and chatting with the mongoose, a friend of his, and his new girl's best friend. i saw the mermaid, things weren't unpleasant - they weren't anything. which was quite a relief.

we then went to the maimad, which was PUMPING. we were enjoying ourselves, everything was cool. at some point i was drinking gin & tonic, and some guy bumped into me. i pushed him off, he LOOKED AT ME IN THE EYES, and then carried on dancing. fine, no problem.

then he bumps into me again, this time crushing the cup into me, getting me soaked. and then laughs and apologizes. i stared down his enormous friend, and proceeded to tell him how much of an asshole he is. the thing that irks me is that i didn't just fscking HIT the bastard, and i really should have. it continues to irk me, but at the end of the day, although i would definitely have felt better, we would have been thrown out of the club, and if things had gotten serious, i would go to military prison.



so i have to be content with having scared them off. not enough for me, he put me right in the mood to fight.

we left relatively shortly afterwards, because the music suddenly went from awesome to mediocre, and it was 4.30 already. hell, i'm supposed to spend today working.

the mongoose and i got into a heavy conversation in the car, the result of which being that i think i'm going to try to get better "conditions" in the army - i'm suffering to work and serve at the same time, and i really shouldn't be. so i'm looking to serve half-days only. i'm SICK and fscking TIRED of being tired all the time. overworked and underpaid doesn't cover me as much as it should.

Friday, September 09, 2005

have i got cushions pressed against my ears?

the world seems muted. what's the deal with this "sleep" thing? we are weak, that's our problem. i'll bet if our species following the rules of "survival of the fittest", we'd probably be better off.

damn. i was flat out for 9 hours, and my body is no longer capable of anything faster than slow-motion. oh, and trix is THE cereal.

my spine!

actually, my spine's been much better, but since the physio mentioned it, i have noticed that i get pins and needles in my forearms a LOT. kind of creepy, i hope it's not TOO serious :(

the dog and i walked to the balcony, and i got back, slightly tipsy, around 5am (20 minutes ago). the music was great, the vibe improved to the point of "most cool", so in general the night was well, well spent.

only a period of half an hour or so that really, really got to me - some girl walked in, and i KNOW her. i mean, i think we had some kind of date or something, the only problem is i have no idea where / when i know her FROM. it drove me completely insane. i remember speaking to her for a long time, but i don't remember ANY context.


i just played some gta2, and i SUCKED. i guess alcohol and gang missions don't mix too well for me. i gonna have a shower, and crash - we're hoping to go to the red bull vlugtag this afternoon. we came up with an awesome idea for next year - i'm going to build headgear with a trunk and huge ears, paint myself grey, and just run off and jump. that would be amazing.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

public transport... yeah...

i don't know how to describe how aweful waking up so early really was.

i got to the central bus station, and met up with one of the girls from the armoury. i realized, after a few arbitrary sentences, that i couldn't actually continue to speak with her without caffeine, so i said goodbye, and got myself coffee and a muffin. and read until the bus came.

long bus to jerusalem, read a lot. rushed to the bus to elazar, spent the next hour trying to rest a bit.

got to the synagogue at 9.30, everyone else came half an hour late. amongst them, my favourite teacher from the programme i came here on in 1996. it was a really, really nice ceremony, and it was great seeing all these people i haven't spoken to in ages. family friends, but friendlies nonetheless.

the food was great.

i got a ride to a bus shelter in efrat, where i read while waiting for the next bus - an hour and a half later. at one point, i got up for a cigarette, and noticed that a spider had had enough time to spin a web between me and the bench, which i ripped completely.

i read all the way to jerusalem. had a quick bite to eat and then got on the bus to tel aviv. read most of the way, standing up, then caught a few z's sitting in the aisle.

arrived in tel aviv around 4pm, and convinced our team leader to let me NOT come back to the base. i bussed home, which took a while, got some clothing, went to the bank, then bussed to the lincoln, where the dog and i played some pool with a friend of his.

i then bussed to work.

work was quite pleasant. sammy and i talked for a while, i finally caught up on my work mail, and then we began. i got calls from those people who need to return their pc's due to incompetence. some of them could barely speak english. and some of the problems were just plain weird. aside from that, the shift was pleasant. i left and bussed straight to the dog's, and we're now off to the balcony for some rock and alcohol. after this week, i *NEED* a strong drink.

and i need to forget that today happened. the bus parts, at least.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


my body and mind are swimming in confusion.

got to the base, worked a bit until my team leader showed up. i walked into his office, shut the door, and told him we needed to talk. we sort of cleared things up, neither of us was entirely satisfied at the end, but since then things have been more relaxed.

we had a meeting with our DBA's, which lasted a long time - but by the end we actually had an idea of what to do. we then went to the induction base, where we sat in a meeting to discuss the current status of our project.

in the middle, someone mentioned a bug i'd COMPLETELY forgotten to fix - and everyone was staring at me as one of them asked what happened with it. that was embarrassing. i said some shit about it being very strange, and difficult to deal with: afterwards my team leader told me that we weren't to touch it anyway.

go figure.

we then went to another meeting, where we learned that the guys responsible for our servers have no clue what they're doing. great.

we had a great lunch on the way back to our base, i worked for an hour or so, then returned to the induction base for physiotherapy.

i learned that my slipped disc is not in my back, it's at the base of my neck. the physio was describing the danger signals i have to look out for, and they're scary. she was most amused when i took off my shirt and she saw my tat :P
she's also the first person to touch it - i figure it's been enough time - and her testing to find the painful areas was the closest thing to a massage that i've had in ages.
i also got an exercise to do... if nothing else i have a much better idea of my problem.

i returned to the base, and returned to a new problem. our system has suddenly started crashing BADLY. why now? thank you murphy. i spent the rest of the afternoon with the DBA's while they sorted it out, then had to go back to my office at 7pm to work.

fortunately i managed to solve one of our other problems, set yet another problem solution in motion (i hope it worked), and finally left around 21.15. i left broken.

spent a long time bussing back - it SUCKS that my usual bus line ends at 20.00. and finally got home just before 23.00. i tried to find a bug in our university system, but failed, and am now speaking to my mom online. i'll be going to bed immediately afterwards - i have to be up at 5.45 to go to a circumcision... then back to base to continue working... then to work...

saw this on slashdot, it's fantastic: specifically for you, moonflake!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

that TEARS it!

i had a sucky day. i think. the important bits, at any rate.

started off getting up early, and getting to the orthopaedist. who screamed at me for about fifteen minutes for not getting treatment. he also mentioned that once i've gotten an EMG - if what the other doctors have said is correct - then my medical profile will drop, and i'll be exempt from service.

i really don't know how i feel about that.

i visited her on her base, and we chatted for quite a while. it was nice.

i got back to the base, to discover that the dog had been playing gta2 instead of working. it could be that it's the jealousy that bothers me, it could also be that if he doesn't finish his job we're all going down for it.

we went out for a good lunch, then returned to a day of random bits of work and lots of quiet time. so i played gta2. because i enjoy it, dammit! it's totally forbidden to run external programs on the army network, and if anyone from the information security team catches you, there's hell to pay.

and they have all sorts of ingenius tools built specifically to ensure that if such a breach occurs, they'll know immediately.

suddenly, the door BURSTS open, and a group of girls strut in with self-importance written all over them, and i panic. my monitor's barely visible from the door, but they're walking around so i turn off the monitor.

thank you gta. i'd been standing near a payphone, and my pc speaker was chiming out the "ring ring", "ring ring" over and over.

oh god.

so i press the keys to close the game.

"ring ring"
"ring ring"


the girls are looking at me, so i make a dismissive gesture and keep my eyes on theirs, with the ringing in the background. they're suspicious.

something else grabs their attention, and i take the opportunity to press the keys again. they don't work. i start pressing all sorts of keys, and suddenly one of them whips around and stares at me. i stop, repeat the dismissive gesture (and realize how absurd that gesture seems). she looks at me quizzically.

"ring ring"
"ring ring"

she looks to her group for support, and i start slamming random keys. the sound stops, i have no idea what i've just done to my pc.

she gives me another strange look, and then: "we need to do an inventory of your room. mind if we look around?"

DAMN. DAMN. all that, for nothing? the guys had noticed, and burst out laughing, and i was white as a sheet and pouring with sweat. i didn't stop shaking for about fifteen minutes afterwards.

then came the shittiest part of the day. our team leader has been really pissy lately, and really petty. i guess it's from the disengagement, and the wanker has personal issues anyway. but now he's just being a right prick. i'm fairly certain it's a case of "jealousy makes you nasty" (he knows our section commander was more satisfied with my leadership), because DAMN he's nasty.

in the afternoon we had a problem that NOT ONE OF US is capable of dealing with. and he gave me shit about it (although i'd been pulling at straws and consulting all the "experts", who were also clueless), and told me to fix it IMMEDIATELY. which is tantamount to "don't leave till it's done"... i actually had to get help from other people, including our section commander, to get him to back off and let me go home.

once the day was over, i played some gta2 in peace and quiet. i've never completed the first level, and still haven't. but i thoroughly enjoy just playing it.

the dog was on alert, so i went and told him the stories. i then bussed through to my boss's place, and read a lot of stone of tears on the way. phenomenal book. i slept a bit too, which i really needed.

i picked up my salary, and had a long talk with him. then i headed home. i was going to work some, but i just can't. i really can't. i feel totally demotivated.

Monday, September 05, 2005


there's something unfathomably addictive about the cereal known as trix.

i just finished a couple of hours work - i actually surprised myself with how well i designed the system we're working on. we had to make a major update, and all i had to do was tweak a couple of things here and there for the change to take effect.

i like it.


more tekken against the computer. i pwnz0red the playstation. that's just - not - quite satisfying. oh, and my chair finally broke on me. i crashed down with it, and am SERIOUSLY grateful to the powers that be that i didn't screw up my neck any more than it is. that was LUCKY.


i think that's it for the day. gonna shower and crash now. like a good little boy.

i just -have- to

"gamer's blood marches through my veins, like giant, radioactive rubber pants. the rubber pants command me! do not ignore my veins!"

i've been bitten hard, and the speed of my metabolysm has insured quick, easy spreading throughout my body, and deep into my core components. the combination of counterstrike and grand theft auto 2 have given me cravings. real cravings.

i was on time for the bus this morning, and -- DAMN! my chair keeps falling apart! -- started on some work. the dog and i made the rounds, work related (with a social element, of course), which included putting out a fire in a trash can (damn smokers! - he says, lighting up), and introducing the dog to a real server farm.

on our way back into the light, our commander saw us. in the middle of the square, surrounded by people who know all of us, he screamed at us for constantly milling around together (the dog is known as my shadow), and explicitly forbade us from doing so in the future. the place was filled with muffled chuckles at our commander's expense.

lunchtime was amusing, as the dog extended his clumsiness and dropped a tray filled with food all over himself. he then came up to me:

the dog: "sir! permission to go home and change uniform, sir!"
me: "no. it's funnier this way"

lunch sucked anyhow, and we spent the afternoon in office working. except for when i was forced to wait for responses, and i played gta2. i'd forgotten just how much i love that game. way cooler than no. 3.

i left for home straight away, and got here about 6.10, *just* in time to meet with the landlord and contractor. turns out i don't HAVE to leave the apartment, but if i want to stay i have to decide soon. if i do, my rent will increase by $60, and i want to explore options of moving closer to the city centre.

i spent the evening talking to friends, performing my internet routine, and playing counterstrike... oh, yes. and watching a couple of episodes of the wonder years. what a GREAT show.

must run - off to buy smokes, then it's worktime. tomorrow morning i have to be up at 5.45 to go to the medical base to get my exemption from patrol duty and carrying all the gear.

oh, yeah - and it turns out we can get the m4a1 sometime in november / december! maybe it'll be like a birthday present...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

all skew

yep, that pretty much describes MY day. hurting neck the entire night, agony not allowing me even a few moments of precious, precious sleep. hurting neck on the bus rides to the base, hurting neck starting my morning procedure of hanging around with random people. hurting neck being crapped on by my commander - no wait, i lie - having a surprisingly pleasant conversation with him while deciding what the day ahead would bring. hurting neck while having the disengagement experience described by the boys that actually got to participate. hurting neck while visiting the DBA's, getting assistance for weird problems we've been experiencing. hurting neck during an exceptionally garlicky humus lunch. hurting neck while straining to see my other soldier coming in, and us feeling all guilty that we'd forgotten to invite him. hurting neck getting screamed at for not rushing to the rescue when our systems went down - they DID go down in the middle of lunch, which simply wasn't fair play. hurting neck while working hard, and getting some GTA2 game on. i love that game. hurting neck while missioning around the base, visiting friendlies and generally making ourselves useless. hurting neck while having an amusing conversation at the armoury that went like this:

the dog: can i get the shortened m-16 for my next guard shift? (shortened m-16 is like the m4a1, super cool and way more comfortable)
the girl in the armoury: yeah, sure, whatever.
me: no. no you can't. as your stand-in commander, i do not approve this.
the dog: but she promised! (talking to the girl) you promised!
the girl in the armoury: no, no i didn't.
the dog: you did!
me: speaking of which, i've guarded enough. can *i* take the shortened m-16?
the girl in the armoury: you? you're already on the list. no problem.
me: sweet :)
the dog: what?? NOOOOO!!!! (to the girl) you're kidding, right?
the girl in the armoury: nope. he can. you can't.

hurting neck while poking fun at our section commander who's in charge of the guard shift tonight - can't believe i didn't check for that and sign up for tonight instead. hurting neck while closing up shop, hurting neck on the ride back home with the dog, hurting neck while wiping the floor with him in tekken. hurting neck while watching an episode of the wonder years - good lord, i actually have an episode or two (or three)!! hurting neck while transporting tons of good music (mostly oldies) to his iPod, hurting neck while we read lots of penny arcade (almost caught up: another few strips to go), and hurting neck while having a looooong conversation with my mommy.

i foresee a hurting neck while having a shower, and sleeping. and of course, a hurting neck while playing counterstrike, 'cause it's just got me by the balls again.

MUCH better

either the alcohol has coloured my world shiny, or i'm out of the depressive side of my cycle, but either way - things are good.

i sadly left the kibbutz around 6pm. some guy was nice enough to give me a ride to the bus station, and i managed to get a seat even though it was PACKED. i'm only excited about this because my neck has been putting me through hell.

the ride was kind of okay. i read a bit - it amazes me how much terry goodkind does well in all the things that have pissed me off about all the other sci-fi / fantasy authors lately. most of the ride the lights were off, though, so i made do with constant sms'ing on a dead battery, and just blankly staring.

i got to herzeliya, drew some cash, and the ru55 picked me up and we went to our friend in pituach's place. i changed into civvies, and chilled and talked which i needed - these are some of the friends i've been whining about not being able to see.

i then met up with another friend, and we went for drinks in a really great bar, and had a really good chat. another one i've needed. i suppose it comes down to people in real life who understand me a little bit.

i went to the birthday party - but got there first, and had to leave just before everyone arrived so i could get the last bus. the music was styling, so that kinda sucked. but at least i saw the guy.

i made my way to the lizard - that took a little bit of walking, but whatever - and the party there ROCKED. fine girls, good music, and the mongoose and i talked loads while eyeballing anything with breasts that moved. t'was nice.

also - i got my invader zim action figure! w00t!! i feel like a little kid, but it's SO cool. it has spider legs and the floating moose head and everything! i'd take it out now, but it's something that needs me to be calm and collected. i don't want to break anything in my excitement :P

so i'm back home, still sore, but in a good mood nonetheless. doing the internet routine, then crashing. so i can wake up at 6.30 - yay!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

revenge of the jelly sandwich

*shakes fist*

before falling asleep, i spent a couple of hours going through the comments on my blog. the commenting system's not so great, but the comments were highly enjoyable.

i actually slept well last night - about 9 hours of mindless quiet, and spent the morning in front of the tv, or reading and commenting on moonflake's blog.

i decided to crash after lunch, and have just woken up. completely spasming, because i've ruined all the muscles in my neck and shoulders. and tonight, i'm making an appearance at a couple of parties... the horror, the horror.

as usual, though, i don't really feel like leaving the kibbutz. it's the unavoidable attraction of nothingness - and soon i'm going to have to start preparing to leave, and get into uniform...

Friday, September 02, 2005

extended nap time

i got up around 12, had breakfast and coffee, and learned that i'm not the only fan of the wonder years tv series - excellent!!

i got packed and took a bus to the train station, the train to the bus station, and then the bus to the bus station (so i could take the last bus). it was a long trip, so i started reading terry goodkind - stone of tears. much, much better in paper form.

i got to the kibbutz, talked a lot with the family, and watched some mindless tv. supper was really good, the after-dinner chat session was a bit awkward. good chocolate, though.

i caught a really interesting history of the star wars original trilogy on vh1, which was entertaining in and of itself. and am now going to bed. it's been SUCH a hard day ;)

a long, long 22.5 hours

and weird, too. really weird.

the first thing we saw on base was a soldier from our prefab spraying himself with deodorant... no, wait - bug spray. smelled like death for the rest of the morning.

i finished the comic that chronicles the story of our fish, and another one that describes the lunch of steel we consumed in the mess hall today. my teeth hurt in memory.

i forgot to do a hell of a lot of things on my "to do" list today. that was crap.

strange moment while working. i was absorbed in something, and i vaguely heard the dog say "i really like toothpaste"... to which i, without paying even the slightest bit of attention, responded "yeah, me too". i guess as soon as i can develop a system for exporting my "comics" (they're really badly drawn), i'll post them here.

we played volleyball once the dog left for the weekend. at the beginning, there was a girl on our team who i'm on the bus with each morning. i accidentally hit the ball straight into her face, and she walked off the court with a mouth full of blood. i still feel really bad about that.

my commander joined the game, and we played hard. in searing heat. i ended up soaked with sweat, my tattoo aching, and my face burned.

i went straight from the base to work, where we began almost immediately. i caught up on tons of internet stuff, spoke to my mom, played internet pictionary (my drawings disturb me somewhat), listened to bouncy trance, and dealt with one too many helpdesk troublemakers.

thank you, oh god of caffeine.

oh, and i had a revelation during the shift - i know the ghostbusters' phone number! w00t!

i got a taxi home, and just arrived... waiting for a shower (maybe i'll be intercepted by counterstrike), and then it's a bit of sleep before flying off to the kibbutz for the weekend.

what sucks ASS is that it's serious swimming weather, and i still can't be in direct sunlight, or soak in water... another 2 weeks of this.

oh, yeah. and my spine is KILLING me. damn slipped disc.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

an extra-special day

well, it started rather badly. i woke up after a long dream about my alarm going off, to find out that it was 8am already.


i made it out in what i thought was time for the bus, but was miserably, horribly wrong. and i waited half an hour at the bus shelter.

i got to the base at 9am. saw our team leader for a few seconds, and got down to some work-type things. it took HOURS for my damned eyes to open. i did enjoy being back on base - only thing i hated was being in uniform. BOILING.

we had a meeting, where i've been informed that i'm to retain command, albeit shared command, for the next while.

i had lunch with the mongoose, and we talked a lot while fending off this really creepy guy who doesn't do hints too well. the mongoose agreed with me about doing a penny arcade-style army comic, so when i eventually got back to my office, i got to work on that - it came out rather well! despite lacking artistic ability!

the dog arrived on base around the same time we got back, and we passed through the DBA section for some assistance. and got told to come back sunday. nice.

we spent the afternoon working, and our commander kept popping in to nose around. we couldn't figure that out, and decided he was scoping the new office out before moving in.
we were mistaken. we went to visit him, and discovered that he'd converted our old office into something really nice - worthy of a high-ranking commander. i'm impressed.

had a slap-dash supper, then i came home. and promptly crashed. i was woken up around 22.30 to work, and we found that i made some horrible errors (while coding blind, mind you), so we worked on it till about 1am. i hate this job. at least i'm getting a weekend - the woman i'm working with can't continue until sunday, so there's nothing *I* can do. so i don't care.

love my new attitude.

i got an email from SB, more with the mixed messages. i can't figure out where i stand, at ALL.

also - moonflake!! how the hell do i add links to this page???

i guess i'm gonna go back to bed soon.