complaints r us

i got a call from the boss, informing me to check my mail at the first opportunity. here's what i received:

Hello <contact's boss>,

With regards to a complaint relayed to me this morning I am reporting the following:

Nature of the problem:
Client complains that the code that used to work with the previous version of the API, does not work with the current one.
Specifically, client's code <technical details> to access <technical details>.
<technical details> are not available using this logic.

Investigation results:

<technical explanation>

This <technical details> has NOT been changed since the very first implementation of the above method back in version 1-5-0 (September 2005).

Conclusion:

Client's developers had misinterpreted the result they were getting as a change in the API behavior.

Apparently, the above API methods were never applied to <technical details> until now. Different <technical details> settings understandably produced different results: the <technical details> were not retrieved.
Client's code took an execution path that was not tested before and its
logic failed.

The failure was wrongly blamed on the new version of the API.
In fact, the API worked as it was supposed to. It was the client's code that failed to account for the conditions described above.

My conclusion has been communicated to <me>, the client's developer.

Sincerely

<my contact>

and here's my response:

<my boss>,

In the specific case cited below, <my contact> is almost correct. What he failed to mention is the distinctive lack of documentation that has caused us many problems from the very beginning. It's not that there isn't any documentation at all: the documentation is simply not meaningful, and as such doesn't comply with world-wide standards adopted for a very good reason. As a user of the API, I need to know more than just the inputs and outputs of a function, I need to know WHY we need it or HOW it works.

In most cases, I've simply had to guess at the usage for the functions we've been given; considering that there are differences between the internal names for functions and values and the <support company> application itself, I've had to spend a lot of time deciphering these same functions with our dealers, just to figure out which data we SHOULD be testing with.

"<technical explanation>"
When we began dealing with this specific bug, <my contact> informed me that I was handling it incorrectly, and that I should try instead to access <technical details>. When I tried that, I got no relevant information at all (although, according to the API, I should have received the same QUANTITY of data, I received nothing), and simply requesting that data eventually led to our application crashing because it used too much memory. That doesn't make much sense, considering the fact that we retrieve plenty more information from the other functions.

In addition to that, we suffered a few setbacks when the new version was released. Specifically, the API itself was changed, which meant a rewrite of the basic functionality of our applications was required. Not just that, but it was flawed, and that meant we had to wait until a new version was released. Changing the API structure is not appreciated in the slightest, releasing a new version that isn't fully tested is even more frustating.

In all cases, I've found <my contact> to be extremely helpful, so there are no complaints there. Singling out this incident from all the previous ones does not accurately reflect the situation, nor the nature of our complaints, so I would be most grateful if you were to pass this on to all concerned parties.

Thank you,
<me>

now, that's the politest way i know to say "go fuck yourself" in business-lingo.

gimme a war face!

i woke up at 5am this morning to do some laundry, slept badly for another 1.5 hours, then commenced with the day.

the guy in charge of instructing us in the new systems began aggravating me first thing. he's really pushing my buttons.

then i had to deal with getting access to my pc - they've essentially switched everyone's passwords. that took a solid hour. very frustrating.

the morning was pretty sucky, overall. lunch was alright, after lunch was quite good. got some important things moving, and managed to find a gift spot left for us before he got released.

in one of the sections of our system he was responsible for, he coded a block ass-backwards. it didn't add anything bad to the system, it just didn't do much to fix the problem it was written to solve. brilliant, spot. we spent the afternoon learning in-depth about everything connected to that section... stuff we really didn't want to know, but i've solved the problem, and all that's left is to tie up loose ends in the morning before releasing the patch to production. our new TL was horrified when we explained to him that the procedure was so simple, and that we're not planning on doing any serious documentation.

different standards, i guess :P

i had supper with the mongoose, then rushed off to work to deal with a problem on our servers. turned out that somebody installed a different "flavour" of the JRE on the server, and none of my apps worked anymore. that took a good half an hour to figure out, and two seconds to fix.

i spent the rest of the evening finishing a couple of projects. by the end i was left with a major problem in the primary one... we then discovered that it's not because of a bug. it's a problem because there's no documentation, and the function isn't SUPPOSED to work as advertised. so much for "does what it says on the tin".

unfortunately, i was alone with the boss, who took an unhealthy interest in what was going on, at the exact point at which i was forced to rethink everything. he put me under enough pressure with constant questioning that i began fumbling. not cool.

i did eventually figure things out, but i don't think the boss has such a high opinion of my work after having seen me stressed. AAARGH!

so i left work *just* in time to catch the bus, and now i've got even less time to shower and sleep than usual. swak.

at least the plan for tomorrow is good. half a day to finish with this problem code in the army. then to get ready for the wedding, and go through to meet SxS. yogi's getting married tomorrow!! DAMN!!

and then fun stuff until sunday. that'll be much better.

happy birthday!

hah! i remembered it's my mommy's birthday today! so i drew this picture and sent to her - i'm sure if i'm laughing when i look at it, so is she :D

if you have my mum's number, please call her to wish her! i think that would be really special ;)

cancellation

no sushi for me. it's too late. bedtime, then :(

daylight in the office

what nice experience! i was utterly wasted after last night, but we got quite a lot done and there's a totally different sense of what day-work is when it's enjoyable.

umm. yeah, that's about it. now waiting for SxS to come and pick me up, we're off to serious sushi at yakimono tonight ^_^

over-dressed

well, i dressed up really nicely. even broke out the serious watch. i bussed through to the train station, then took the train (using my soldier's id, nobody caught me ^_^) to herzeliya, and SxS picked me up from there.

we went through to a nature reserve atop cliffs overlooking the ocean. it was absolutely stunning. we built a huge bonfire, and we left after sunrise having spent the entire night talking, singing songs and eating amazing food. it was my turn to braai - being the least experienced of the south africans, i was a little nervous of the responsibility; but it definitely turned out alright ;)

the entire night was simply a pleasure.

mmf and i returned with yogi to crash at his place. i spent a few hours completely out on the universe's most comfortable couch, and was woken up with some really exciting news. it's in potentia, so there won't be further mention of it, aside from to say that i spent the next couple of hours online learning some very interesting things.

isn't that cryptic? for those who know me really well, and what i really plan on doing with my life: this could be a solid step in the right direction.
*jumps up and down, flapping arms wildly*

yogi just dropped me off at home; i'm gonna shower - 'cause i'm DIRTY (mud, sand, and the remains of bloodsucking insects all over me) - and then i'm off to work.

מסת"עלבית (mistalbet)

i wish all the bugs i have to deal with looked this good.

mistalbet is a slang word for mocking and ridiculing. today i turned it into an acronym for mistovev al bet, which means going around in working uniform. it worked out really well ^_^ (israeli's aren't so big on word-play, so it's unique AND good!)

alright, so i woke up in an incredibly good mood this morning. what a pity my mood was ruined when i realized that i was already half an hour late, because i'd forgotten to set my alarm. i hurried, and managed to get the bus on time to only be an hour late in total. on the way, some guy called me up to play a prank on me - he couldn't have had better timing. i was under so much pressure that i took him seriously, and got even more stressed than i already was.

and then i had to deal with everyone and their mother making snide remarks about my tardiness.

the entire day was spent fixing bugs, and learning the new systems. we discovered that the guy in charge of teaching us might be released very, very soon - this means that the three of us who're new will be the only ones with a clue, and the kid and i are under enough pressure with upgrading our systems.

in short, we're screwed. i took the kid and the new girl aside, and we agreed that any spare moment will be spent making sure that she gets to a point where she doesn't really need us. that's not going to be easy.

it's weird being home when the sun's still up. kinda nice, actually. now for a hurried shower, and then i'm rushing off to the bachelor's. i wish i didn't have such a crushing headache. i'll have to drown it out... somehow... ;)

it's not google's fault...

.. it's mine. of course i won't find any help if i'm trying to do the impossible. vainly attempting to convert a stream of binary into decimal, without using the standard formulae. so i've just wasted my night and my brain hurts. that sucks ass.

oh, and i had to put up with a complete dick on irc; he didn't understand the question i was asking, and behaved like those op-kiddies i'd forgotten about. nothing pisses me off more than people who are less-than-polite because they think they have some kind of power because there's a snail next to their name.

ok, i'm sure there are things that piss me off more. but that's taking the title right now.

with a few tears, simply exceptional

what an ingenious buy - empire of the sun just blew my mind, again. beautiful, beautiful movie. i watched the documentary (with narration by martin sheen), and it's really good.

now for a bit more c++, and i'm still undecided as to whether or not a mission to the lizard for a drink or two is in order.

30+ casualties, 3 survivors

i just played the brazil mission. the first time i didn't realize that the enemy syndicates were going to blow up my escape vehicle, so i got trapped and had to restart.

the second time i just <persuaded> everyone on the level. including the syndicates in the enclosure before driving through. i drove out in two cars; about 30 people (civilians, guards, and syndicates) in the front, including 3 of mine, and the last of mine taking the rear. so far, so good.

i'm almost back at the evac zone, when i register that the front car is emitting a signal... ok, so i have to destroy it as well. i stop the cars, intending to get everyone out the way before blowing it to shit. as the 30+ people start moving, my trooper in the rear takes the intiative and runs EVERYONE over. time bombs explode, both cars burst into flames, and there're dead and dying (well, on fire and screaming, at any rate) all over the place.

"MISSION COMPLETE", i take in. WTF?! turns out three of mine from the front car miraculously survived, so i'm all good. all i could do was stare.

---

i woke up slowly, and immediately began with the chilling, aside from getting the idea behind writing a basic operating system. most of the day has involved reading, napping, semi-cleaning (fuckers stole my squeegee-thingum while they were "working" in my apartment), and a little bit of gaming for the last 2 hours or so. i'm now going to the cafe to buy smokes... i already made a mission, and completely forgot... nevermind. it's my day off, after all :D

dog day afternoon

i woke up pleasantly enough, talked to the cousins (found out that it's not a good weekend to go to the kibbutz), ran laundry, listened to great music, and arbed.

around 4pm i began a slow walk through to central tel aviv (hungry and indecisive, i was contemplating buying breakfast of a hamster - or rat - from a pet store i passed), and joined spot at a coffee shop. we sat over coffee, i had an enormous salad for second breakfast. first breakfast was a bag of bamba that i'd eaten on the way - an israeli peanut-butter fling-type snack that i've only recently begun to enjoy (it's because i'm used to such terrible food in the army, i'm sure of it).

we walked back to his place, where his mother began harrassing me about helping him out with employment - turned out afterwards she misunderstood me completely, but whatever. then we parted company and i walked through to a friend's place, a tiny apartment very near the beach. we sat outside and talked crap for about 4 hours before spot joined us (i think he was in herzelia), and after a bit we went to a nice bar close by.

i drank a bit much. i felt it. i missioned off for cigarettes, and just before i arrived at the store somebody tossed a glass bottle out their window and it landed in the street - everybody in the area froze and began staring, but we couldn't find the culprit.

i got smokes and a bag of chips (the alcohol's effect made me realize i hadn't eaten anything, so i went for a healthy dinner), and walked back to the bar with my eyes to the sky.

i hadn't finished my chips, so i stood reading billboards - i had to read everything twice, and in general the second reading was worse than the first. so fuzzy! i was feeling very relaxed. so relaxed that i didn't notice that while the bouncer was checking me, i tipped over his glass. he picked me out for it afterwards, but left me alone... i assume he realized i'd closed in on my limit.

after the bar, spot and i got some iced-coffee (i had to take advantage of the half-price special for tel aviv residents), and discussed general foreign exchange mechanisms and operating system development. it was an incredibly loopy conversation. loopy. i said it. aaaargh!

i took a taxi back, and walked around all the dodgy neighbourhood kids. i'm in no state for a fight right now. it was a good decision too - they're all excitable, and there was an incident while i was at the cafe getting smokes. so i'm back home, still not in the most useful frame of mind, feeling good, and about to sleep the sleep of kings.

absurb!

thanks moonflake ;)

as for the boss being unhappy with my conjectures (and i was playing them down), he spent the rest of the evening walking around looking troubled. that's not good. i felt really bad.

i got done with work, then walked to the lizard. good times, good times. chilled there for a bit, spot joined me, and then we walked to the lincoln. i was already quite drunk, so i chilled with the alcohol, but my game was buggered. i thoroughly enjoyed it, though.

after an hour or so i walked back to the lizard, stopping in at work to get my bag. the security guards gave me a hard time about signing the guest list. i'm not a guest, dammit! i need a card or something!

went back to the lizard, witnessed some guy and his "girlfriend" having a tiff - we didn't interfere because it'll just make it worse for her, but damn i wanted to hit the fucker. i really do hate that shit, and i feel sorry for the girls who're dumb enough to get involved with people like that. but i'm certainly not going to spend the next while looking out for her... she's not my type.

a friend gave me a ride home, playing some wicked, wicked trance at top volume. i didn't want to get out of the vehicle. it's late now, definitely time for a shower and a good morning's sleep. if only we weren't in the middle of another prolonged dust-storm.

baking day

twice in particular that i truly noticed the intelligence of my decision to wear working uniform - when changing into it in the morning, and when changing back to dress uniform in the evening. what a difference!

i managed to sort myself out for inspection this morning, which went quite quickly. that actually counts as a highlight.

it was one of those horrible, clammy, dusty days. i was kept super busy, mostly just having my time wasted by our client section. as for yesterday's work, after a lengthy argument this morning we realized that we just had a major case of miscommunication. we're all good. aside from the girl in our room who hates my music. i've begun listening with headphones only, but the damage is apparently done.

humans.

oh, and i got a lecture about my behaviour affecting the new girl. the dude's got a point, so aside from improving my appearance regarding work ;), i had a chat with her to explain exactly what my stance is on everything. truth is, even on the stressed-out days i don't really act as if i'm working. i'm not a slave, i don't need to give up my sense of humour.

as for work, work is fun :) i seem to have offended the guys supporting us though... i sent our contact the following in ICQ:

When do you expect to have an Administration API ready for us?
it is work in progress -- a month probably
Will that month include all QA testing?

anyway, i have a ticket for canada - leaving on the 19th and coming back on the 2nd. i've cleared that with the army, and i've cleared that with my boss. i also cleared sunday night with the boss - so the bachelor's party for yogi is now hard & fast in my todo list.

the boss asked my opinion on our support company: i didn't want to lie to him. unfortunately, he's really not happy with my perspective. bummer.

well, back to work.

working uniform

i slept just fine last night, and switched into working uniform as soon as i got to base. MUCH better. today involved Sorting Stuff Out, socializing, doing completely retarded work (in my opinion, assigned to "keep me busy"; assholes!)... i guess nothing special happened today. but it was way more comfortable.

i got annoyed with yogi - he gave a client my phone number when the guy had some questions. AT MOST give him my email address. the last thing i need to be doing is dealing with people who communicate at a completely different level from me. it's hard enough to communicate with the users on our side because the technical languages we speak are so different.

and i especially don't want people to call me when i'm on base, as there's no way i can help them anyway.

work tonight was great! two of my projects are complete and running nicely, two of them have been joined into a single project that's pretty much complete, and the primary project ran into another brick wall where all we can do is wait for them to fix the problem on their side.

day over.

pizza - bad.

great pizza - worth it. good pizza - bad. bad pizza - worse. i really do need to keep repeating this to myself, as i made the unfortunate mistake today of partaking in aforementioned devil-food for lunch. whenever i sin, and i feel terrible afterwards... i never suspect (until i'm feeling better) that it's because i'm bloody lactose intolerant and i can't seem to get that to sink in to my own head.

and it was bad pizza, just so's you know.

and look what showed up when i searched for the pizza image:

i guess it's google's way of telling me that i'm strongbad for the day.

it was a long day, very tiring regardless of my aforementioned stupidity. that weird girl was being strange at me today, that made me uncomfortable. turns out i'm not the only person it bothers - a lot of the base has designated her one of the most messed-up, and considering that "special" is the sort of soldier our base caters for, that's quite a powerful reputation.

i finally finished the developer crap i've been working on. no satisfation, just relief that it's done. until the next task. i had some meetings today regarding our systems, and they seem to have gone okay. at least, my superiors appreciate my stance on the whole thing, which is incredible in the army.

work: got stuff done. lots of stuff. i discovered that the later versions of java have modified the Vector class, so spot's agreed to update me on that. my googling factor's always been low; in this case i couldn't find a damn thing that made sense.

due to a limited ("you damn right it's limited! no cup-holder, no back seat...") api, the primary app's development has taken another twist. this thing is killing me. fortunately, all the other projects are going smoothly.

the meatrix: the most annoying and rediculously WRONG thing that keeps finding its way into my mailbox. granted, it's got an amusing sense of style, but the whole concept of "meat is murder" and whatever other rubbish gets spewed on the "topic" upsets me no end.

lacking in appropriate expletives

#$@!!%$@ing bus companies. i just waited more than half an hour before giving up, and then i had to walk a ways anyway because it wasn't the right line. couldn't they post a bloody sign to say that the bus route's changed due to roadworks? no, of course not. that would be considerate of people who need to take the bus at 23.30.

*blood-curdling roar*

i don't know that i worked so much today (in the army). lots of today just kind of happened along. memorables (really, in no particular order): teaching c++ for about half an hour; almost finishing the stupid developer thing, and spending an hour studying code that was fine (i didn't know you need to BUILD the thing at EACH AND EVERY run); some good down-time with a really cute girl from the farm; chilling with spuzz; lunch with the mongoose; being excused from the team meeting (my commander realizes that i can't deal with too much hebrew all at once).

i worked a LOT afterwards. grootbek just got hired by the company we share offices with (he's already bitching and planning on ditching), but he did manage to remember to bring the video of my last taekwondo fights. it's only taken me two years to get hold of them - bastard sportsmaster had the fucking thing all along >@

i worked on three or four projects concurrently, and had tons of trouble with the support company. i have a list of things to do, all of them urgent, and simply not enough time. did i mention i love this job? i LOVE being overloaded with REAL work. i HATE being overloaded with bullshit like i have been in the army for so long.

there's possibly a workaholic in every one of us. careful, guys!

i overheard a lover's spat (one-sided from a phone, next to my desk while i was working so i couldn't avoid it), and an interesting question was raised. what makes us like / dislike certain people more than others? is it fair to put a thing like that into words? the second you voice a reason for disapproval you can probably name quite a few people with that same trait, where you ignore it because of the positives. this paragraph brought to you by mental masturbation, inc.

no c++ today, even though i've thought a lot about the problems i was presented with. no time!

c? i warned you :P

i got most of my work done, then left a few minutes early to get the earlier bus. which i'd missed. anyway, nothing too eventful on the way home, aside from learning a new army-word: "sambas". acronym standing for "milling around the base for no reason." that's a big part of my job! or at least, that's what i tell people who get inquisitive.

i've spent the past hour pouring over this c code... and being reminded of bits i'd forgotten regarding operator overloading and friend functions and so on. i'm happy. unfortunately, i couldn't actually do anything to check myself, as the only compiler i have installed (and i'm too lazy to download something useful) is the microsoft one, which sucks balls and refuses to link a perfectly valid file. suck.

it's late, i gotta get to bed. i'm being all responsible, you know ;)

siesta!

so i left my apartment more or less on time this morning. i got caught on the way out with the information that they need to do some more shit in my apartment. hmmm... dodgerrific. making my stance clear waylaid me a little, and so i watched my bus drive off just before i got to the stop.

i eventually got to base around 8.45, slightly late. first priority: deal with all our systems going down. happy sunday! turned out that this time it was due to a power failure. once that was sorted out, i went to the cafeteria and chilled for a long-ish while.

and bought myself a really fun-looking hebrew children's book. the pictures are really pretty ^_^

by the time i got back, it was pretty much time to go with the team for lunch. we went to a restaurant in herzelia pituach that wasn't bad, as such... i've been to better. the enormous hamburger and the chili con carne was good, though - i was completely stuffed by the end of the meal.

got back to base, spot was already there (after he'd made me stress in order to sort him out permission to get through the gate). we spent the next hour or more just walking slowly around the base, greeting people and sorting out welfare and travel arrangements and so on.

it turns out that i can leave the country for a maximum of 14 days. INCLUDING the two days i leave and return. fuckers. so my holiday's down to 13 days.

anyway, i got back to my office with about 45 minutes to finish the code i've been sitting on for about a week now. at 17.29 i signed off with everything complete and one bug (not related to my work, it appears) to check in the morning. good timing!

i came to work, tested my mailing code (it runs ever-so-nicely on linux :D), discovered some more applications they need done (and double-time, too), and have just come back from a quick bite to eat. also in the pipeline is some c++ code that a guy from the base wants help with. priorities, priorities!

high alert and leashed fury

i spent the late afternoon / evening reading more king rat, more shadowrun short-stories, chatting online, and napping for a short while. and i talked to my mom for ages (my phone properly died during the conversation) about all sorts of things, which was really nice. turns out tgtbt is going to harvard this year ^_^

then i went off to the lizard.

due to the fact that we have many arsim in our area, and coupling that with my memories of that "fight" from january, the walk there got me totally hyped up and ready for action. fortunately (as usual) nothing happened, but my mind was in that special place reserved for breaking bones in a rush of adrenaline.

i spent an hour or so talking a lot with the mongoose and the bartenders, and that was most enjoyable. productive, even. a guy i know rocked up, and we talked about all sorts of crud. every conversation did me some good. could be to do with my general lack of social interaction this weekend.

at some point i was reminded of why i owe my mom so much for my studies. there were months where the divorce made her life really, really hard - and still i was taking money for studies and food and so on. one can argue that that's a mother's job, but the bottom line is that she really suffered for me to be educated, and i will be forever beholden to her for that (ignoring everything else, of course :P).

the owner of the lizard invited me to partake in the pizza he'd ordered. i'd had a bit to drink, i was feeling a mite peckish, so i enjoyed some. i'm so paying for it now - i hope i can sleep. whenever i eat pizza at night i get this horrible, icky feeling around the area of my solar plexus. thank you, lactose intolerance!

anyway, i spent an hour talking to the bouncer - he's really into martial arts, and he taught me all sorts of things. at the same time it's nice to be thinking about fighting, but it sucks because i'm not realistically going to be able to train for another 10 months. maybe once i've moved into my new apartment, and i've saved some money, i'll get myself a serious punching bag and dress it up to get some playtime in.

long walk home, now it's shave, shower, and bedtime. then back to the routine - and i'm actually looking forward to it!

lucky?! luck has NOTHING to do with it!

so there wasn't a "tonight" yesterday, i ended up going to bed and busying myself with some much-needed dreaming. i feel much better for it :)

i woke up and spent a few hours working... just reducing the amount of pressure i'll have on sunday, of course :) the clowns released another, supposedly less-buggy version of their api... they changed shit around again, but as usual didn't include anything in their javadoc. fortunately, i've begun receiving heads-ups from my POC there :S

i played some syndicate, but the colombia (columbia? i'm too lazy to check) mission was piss easy and took forever, so i wasn't left satisfied. lots of reading, i did - specifically king rat, and a couple of the shadowrun short-stories that zenstar linked to. great stories!

my jerusalem cousins picked me up, and we went to her place to celebrate her birthday. too - much - good - food. as usual. one of the jerusalem cousins plays mean table-tennis, but not much better than mine, so we played a lot of that. i haven't properly enjoyed that game in many years.

people say that it's lucky when a bird shits on you. it is lucky - FOR THE BIRD, 'cause we can never catch the fucker. what's lucky is when the bird-dropping misses you by a few inches. THAT'S lucky. i'm feeling LUCKY >D
i just smiled at the splash that missed me, and carried on.

i just got in, and have nothing to do but relax for a while. i like it.

oh, and sagirl sent me this:
Ole has a point -

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally
cut off all ten of his finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky
doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat
can do.
Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."
"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2006
Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink
da finkers?"

Ole says... "How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?"

cute.