zen and martial arts before snowboarding - part ii

[... continued]

today:

the ideal sunday sleep-in! it was beautiful, i eventually got up with a slack face and huge bags under my eyes. i had coffee and chatted with SxS (who's having a seriously rough time) until i was running late for my first yoga class.

...

once upon a time nixon tried to teach me yoga and had the completely wrong approach. today corrected that, we began a program that's targeted to my leg flexibility and neck / back strengthening. it was a tough hour and she made me work hard. she warned me beforehand that i might find myself becoming emotional in a good or a bad way, and i was completely shocked to walk out of the gym feeling incredibly good and slightly euphoric!

...

i visited godmother for a chilled cup of coffee, then returned with plans to do some studying and perhaps work on my comics. i ran laundry instead, played a bit of fallout and posted this all while eating myself out of house and home. now i think i'm going to do the starbucks thing, shop, and maybe *then* be responsible. because today has been an absolutely magnificent sunday to complete a wonderful, wonderful weekend that closed a seriously exciting week.

^_^

---today's post was brought to you by interactive noise - dont kik no line. groovy tune!

zen and martial arts before snowboarding - part i

what a crazy weekend! i'm gonna try to fit this post into as short a time as possible so that i can get something done today. it was supposed to be a study day...

---friday:

after four hours of sleep i popped awake seconds before my alarm sounded. i quickly prepared and left for the mountain. i finished reviewing the book on the metro, then spent half an hour in the bus terminal in a zombie state. the hour or so sleeping on the bus wasn't bad at all, but the few minutes i spent trying to use the toilet on board were a nightmare: the bus driver was being really aggressive on the accelerator and brakes, and at one point i found myself forced against the soap dispenser for about ten or twenty seconds and by the time gravity switched to me holding my weight with the top of my head pressed to the opposite wall my back had been soaked.

the words that popped into my head were "die in a fire", which i immediately regretted as the bastard dying in a fire might include everyone else on his bus...

---what a wonderful friday morning! the weather was excellent, the conditions excellent and there were barely any people on the slopes. i enjoyed a groovy morning but my legs were stiff and sore from thursday night's kickboxing. i only tried hitting the moguls once, because i was too tired to handle them properly and switching was an effort... but it didn't matter, i was having great high-speed fun without all that :)

my cafeteria french had improved slightly, lunch was delicious. i tried to study some discrete maths but experienced a profound exhaustion that saw me slipping in and out of consciousness in the warm sunlight streaming through the windows. eventually i felt ready to go out again and had a perfect afternoon! all the time on the slopes was amazing and even riding up the lifts was awesome, it felt like chilling on a bench in the summer with a beautiful view. very cool.

when i returned for a quick break i found the area outside packed with people sunning themselves and decided to join them. it was so warm that i lay back on one of the chairs stripped down to my t-shirt, and when i closed my eyes i felt like i was lying on a beach in twenty degree weather with a cool breeze; boy, was i ever surprised to look at my phone and find it telling me that it was only one degree! the first week of spring in canada meme is totally accurate :P

i would've stayed, but after about ten minutes i remembered that i didn't have any sunscreen and i didn't really want to get burned.

the last runs were crazy, i kept choosing paths that kept me totally high on adrenaline and i had a few fun wipe-outs. on my last ski lift ride i tried responding to the guy next to me in french but he pitied me and switched to english... he was intrigued that i'm interested in aerospace, told me the name of the company he works for and told me to get my resume to him. nice!!!

...

après ski after a long day: beer and maths don't mix. instead, i spent the hour relaxing cross-eyed or playing another crime solved, then enjoyed a chilled walk through the now-melting snow to the bus. the sunset was perfect, the day had been glorious ^_^

i could neither sleep nor concentrate on the make-out bus - i was surrounded by cute couples - so i spent it staring out the window and thinking lightly.

big dinner. tom segura: completely normal is hysterical, and highly recommended. jasper redd: jazz talk not so much. fp came over and we watched three episodes of firefly. it was awesome.

---yesterday:

i was exhausted and a bit sore from the day's exercise, so i probably shouldn't have invested more time in another crime solved before going to bed.

after a week of horrid sinus issues i'd finally had a clear few days; i was *not* impressed to suddenly find myself stuffy again. i medicated before going to sleep, and woke up with my nose and throat both disgustingly uncomfortable again. i medicated some more, and since then i've been kinda okay...

fp picked me up in the late morning and we drove through to morin heights. the driving conditions were awful, and the long drive was mostly a bit awkward. one would expect that after a week or two of dating that that wouldn't be the case. just saying.

morin heights is cool, but a bit crowded on saturdays. their facilities aren't as good as saint sauveur's, either. their lifts suck, they're aggressive and frustrating and it's far too easy to end up on a stranger's lap :$
having said that, there was more snow there than i've seen all winter and some of the slopes are really, really great! overall, we had a fantastic time and the only thing that detracted from that was us talking so much during a break that we missed out on quite a few runs. not that that wasn't enjoyable, though, so it was really all good :)

...

i barely had time to shower and eat before skipping out again to go to badger's album launch. i got in just in time for the first song, after which i wondered into the depths of club soda to see if anyone would recognize me (it was dark). after a while vfmp and his boyfriend rocked up, just as the second song began.
seeing badger singing on stage was very strange; in my head she's the woman who's teaching me how to fight, and the juxtaposition is jarring.
we were enjoying badger's groovy lounge (very 80's), and suddenly there were a bunch of people close to the stage who started dancing. vfmp's boyfriend dragged the two of us down to join them and i spent the rest of the performance feeling very conspicuous indeed.

anyway, it was a nice vibe and a fun evening. we didn't stay for the afterparty as it was a bit too "lesbian disco" (disco's cool, but the songs the dj was playing really weren't our cup of tea) so we said our hi's and goodbyes before missioning to aux vivres for a delicious and entertaining end to the evening. i was completely bombed by the time we got on the metro to head home, and by the time i arrived i simply shambled into bed.

[continued...]

a couple of first steps

the biggest news of the day? i made it through yesterday morning's phone interview. awesome! so i have reason to keep my head down and continue to study hard. i also have a couple of fun ideas to explore that the interview inspired, which is cool.

the second biggest? i interviewed this morning with an ex-co-worker's partner who i thought was just a recruiter, but it turns out her firm actually employs developers in order to contract them out - which is what i was doing in israel, essentially. they're excited about my resume, and if i interview successfully with any of their clients they'll make me an offer. sweet!

the third biggest? my french results are available. i was going to go and get them but the metro broke down so i'll have to go on monday.

because in a few hours i'm going snowboarding. and then on saturday again with fp. awesome ^_^

---yesterday:

as i walked out the door i remembered a mistake i'd made during the interview, which i'd continue to be concerned about until hearing that i passed. i was asked a question and i gave an intuitive answer without doing the full calculation. i told the guy that that's what i'd done, and that if i was off i'd do it the hard way. he told me i was right, and i quipped "good guess!". why did i say that? what if he hadn't understood that i was joking?

i ate in one of the underground food courts downtown, the indian curry was delicious but the service experience was grating. the girl didn't tell me that the till wasn't working until after she'd served me, and then she didn't have reasonable change. i told her exactly what i thought, and i was relieved when she bothered to warn the next customer before taking his order.

lit crit: over lunch i read a story that, while not perfect, actually floored me. it was such a wonderful concept and the end was so well executed! unfortunately, the next story is as awful as the previous is good, and as a fan of the pirate genre i'm actually finding it offensive :@

i found the french results for the previous exams, and as soon as i saw that they keep them posted for a few weeks i relaxed. i returned home for a short rest (playing another case solved, i do that a lot) before going to the gym.

i arrived early so i used the opportunity to work on the heavy bags as a warm-up. the boxing class was good, after which i was sore and ready to load up on empty carbs with newk'd and co at the weekly art / beer / music thing at foufounes électriques. only newk'd was in hospital with food poisoning, so that didn't happen. considering the kind of junk he consumes, it's amazing that he only gets food poisoning once or twice a season and not once or twice a month :P

when i informed fp of tomorrow's snowboarding plans i was most pleasantly surprised by her suggestion to go together on saturday. very, very cool indeed. and if she has a car we could go to morin heights - my boxing coach will be there, he says it's much better than saint sauveur during the day.

i chatted with k-twang, which was fun, and watched masters of the universe.

---today:

i slept really well, requiring a second round after initially getting up. it was wonderful! i continued reading the shitty pirate story to the meeting with the recruiter. i didn't dress up, but i didn't dress badly either; i thought it was going to be a relaxed meeting with a friend of a friend. it pretty much was, but if i'd known that she was also a potential employer i'd have made an extra effort...

oh, well. the meeting was excitingly positive anyway.

i came home, had a big lunch while watching once upon a time. i'm most of the way through the second season, it's not bad but a lot of it feels forced.

after a quick nap i focused on sorting out taxes. i went through a bunch of records, then made a call to a company that handles these things for a fee. the woman who answered doesn't speak english, so i tried in french. the first couple of sentences were alright, but then... i know what i was saying was correct, but i was saying it so slowly and carefully that she stopped me and went to find someone else to speak to me in broken english.

not so good for the confidence.

my mom conferenced godmother into our skype chat and so i gave them both my news, then headed out to get my french results and go on a not-a-date. just as i was leaving i received a surprisingly direct love letter from sq. i don't know where to file that in my brain. between fp, sq, pulse and the non-date i kinda felt like i was juggling four women. strange.

after the metro failure i went to the area the non-date would be in, stopping at cafe juicy lotus for lentil soup and the biggest news of the day. so lots of messaging while trudging through the never-ending pirate tale until it was time to go to melk. i can see why i've never noticed the place before, all hidden away in a corner. godmother's friends' daughter was working there, so that was amusing. it's a small cafe and their coffee is really good. they have almond milk!

i think everyone could hear that i was on something like a date :P
the girl i met was interesting, but not that interesting. certainly not my type. we talked about all sorts of odd things for an hour, then i rushed off to get to the gym. which i arrived at late anyway, so instead of missing half the advanced class i worked on the heavy bags and joined the beginner's later.

one of the boxing trainers - the guy who organizes the fight nights and wants me to get in the ring - was poking fun at me for hitting the bags so hard.
"look at that anger! why are you so angry? it's because the bag's black, isn't it?" (he's black)
"no, dude - it's because that's the colour of my heart."
boy, was i proud to hear that come out my own throat without delay!

so i warmed up well, really pushing my body with a few different sets of exercises - striking and conditioning - then entered the class. i worked with a guy who's been out of commission for a couple of months, and i retrained his kicks and his uppercuts till he was hitting me seriously hard: the only reason i asked him to hold back a bit was because i didn't want to get injured before tomorrow :P

i was amused later when he called me "professor" - i may not be a good fighter (i've been called "robocop"), but i definitely "get" the theory (regarding technique) and it looks like i'm pretty good at teaching it.

i was really proud of myself for managing the final cardio sets at the end of class! the funniest part of the class was one of the new guys getting flustered when i pointed out to the jolly moroccan that he's the same body type and has the same style as dhalsim. it's awesome watching him :D

---facebook's underlying issues are becoming a serious problem. they've pretty much reached the point where the benefit to everyone being on it is outweighed by their shitty filtering. i think it's time for everyone to move to google+. or for someone to create an alternative.

quick linkage and omgthatwasawful

thanks, vfmp, for putting the idea of watching masters of the universe again into my head. i just spent an eternia in plotholia... i couldn't stop watching out of a sense of morbid fascination.

1987 called to say that hollywood was filled with really, REALLY shitty writers. but look at that cast!

---to make up for that brainlessness, here are forty-five tips for men. most of them are appropriate for women, too. very wise.

---do you think that microwaves are bad news for nutrition? just in case, check out raw vs cooked broccoli and best cooking method. nuked my worries in as long as it takes to cook something decent :)

québéc vs israel vs me

at the end of 2000, i left south africa and arrived in israel. israel had been doing alright politically, but within a month of my arrival the second intifada broke out and things went crazy. everyone became increasingly paranoid and aggressive and the palestinians i'd been living with were forced to leave their studies and return to their side of the border. the country's been on a downward spiral since.

at the end of 2012, i left israel and arrived in québéc. québéc's been amazing until then, but within a week of my arrival parti québécois came into power and tensions have risen to the point where many people have either left the province or are considering it due to the "language oppression" and, lately, religious and cultural oppression.

i find it interesting that both countries (québéc is a country, for all intents and purposes) are dealing with similar issues: they want to protect their cultural and linguistic identity. israel needs to be a refuge for jews facing persecution, and although it prides itself on being a democratic state its democracy can never be allowed to alter its jewish roots or everything would have been for nothing. québéc needs to be a bastion of french and francophone culture in canada, so it's kinda the same thing albeit not as extreme.

both of these countries have a significant immigrant population. both of these countries speak languages that are out-of-sync with the americanized globalized future we're all hurtling towards.

1) in order to participate in the new global village it's important that everyone can speak decent english.

2) in order to protect one's cultural identity it's important that the spoken and written language are dominant.

the thing is, israel has been wildly successful with regards to language and culture. hebrew went from a "dead" language to a relevant modern one, in spite of its population being largely immigrant. the reason for this is that anyone who immigrates is offered language instruction in a variety of methods and environments, but nobody's forced to speak hebrew and a lot of immigrants can get by just fine with english, russian or arabic. if you're an immigrant, you do what you like and in whatever language you like, nobody will "oppress" you or refuse to engage you because you don't speak the same language.

but your kids? your kids will go to school where the language of instruction is hebrew. between the schools, the internet and entertainment media they will hopefully learn decent english as well, but it's very rare to find people raised in israel, even recent immigrant children who've only been subjected to a year or two of israeli schooling, who don't speak fluent hebrew. and once you speak decent hebrew, you'd be silly not to take advantage of it in that environment.

in québéc, immigrants and non-francophone natives are forced to communicate in french; even though language instruction is available, it's complicated. if you're francophone, your kids go to french school and if you're anglophone, english school. so everyone's kids are isolated and none of them end up bilingual. adults, who have a harder time learning new languages, are harassed, technology companies - or any company that's not entirely local - need to continually deal with frustrating translation issues. tourism becomes a problem, as do all "international" events.

montreal, the only bilingual region in québéc, is not only an incredible mix of cultures but is also the most economically viable.

...

i guess what i'm saying is that being defensive is justified, but being exclusive isn't. they should't divide over language, they should unify with it! this is a magical place filled with wonderful people, there's really no need for language police or racism.

personally, i love both languages and i want to be fluent in french as well.

also, i have very bad luck when it comes to moving.

on preparation - round i

my phone interview is over. i feel like it went well, i *HOPE* it went well and if i did screw up anything it was probably by not having any questions when he asked if i had any questions.
or by misunderstanding a question about recursion, stacks and references that saw me confusing him until i eventually expressed the correct answer.

anyway, it really wasn't bad, and now it's wait-and-see time. and practice-some-french and keep-playing-with-algorithms-and-data-structures and looking-for-work time.

---i was going to read discrete maths until i fell asleep (not much of a challenge, to be honest), and couldn't find my kindle in any of its usual spots. panic set in, i tore through my apartment and was on the verge of giving up and heading to the metro station where i'd last held it for sure when i found it carelessly left beneath a stack of random shit.

damn.

just then i received a response from a message i'd sent to a friend about the latest humble bundle. she didn't understand how it worked so i explained it to her, and then realized that there're a couple of things i want and i'm perfectly happy to give a little money to charity in order to get them.

i paid using paypal, and decided that it was time to increase my password's security. only... paypal doesn't accept passwords of more than twenty characters. wtf, paypal? why doesn't everyone know this?!

last night was just another in three or four that i've had lots of vivid dreams, though i don't remember much of them afterwards. i'm obviously learning shit, though. keep it up, brain!

i prepared for the interview by doing laundry and taking a deep nap, and now i'm ready to chill for the afternoon. and pray. perhaps i'll pray a little. i really want to have gotten through the screening process.

overflow

i'm getting ready for bed. there's tons of stuff i haven't touched, but so much that i have... i can't believe how much i have and haven't used over the past decade or so. i remember weird shit, and i've forgotten some things so drastically that i can't make heads or tails of where i stand. well, i'll find out tomorrow morning, i guess.

i feel like i have computer science coming out my ears. but i haven't segfaulted yet, so i'm positive ;)

---paris forces half the car owners to use public transport in order to relieve excess smog.

crazy!

but it's nice to know they understand what to do. not as well as the spaniards, though...

pre-screening

aww, man. i ate at cafe juicy lotus today. they had a delicious quinoa-based vegan pizza, but i wonder if the woman was mistaken and there was cheese under all those veggies because i've had the most horrific headache since i got home. now is not the time, i've got my screening interview in the morning :(

---i forgot to mention that on my way out of the gym last night i tripped over army brat's tog bag that she'd left just around a corner. this wouldn't be interesting except that i walked into it with my cracked toe, which was finally healing and is now back to really sore :(

i woke up early this morning, in time to catch a majestic sunrise, then proceeded to spend my day studying with the occasional distraction. a constant over the last couple of weeks has been another case solved - it's just like 10000000 in terms of its grip, and oddly enough it has the same underlying mechanics. the story's pretty cool, though, and there're some levels i want to revisit because they contain some cool easter eggs.

i met up with newk'd at cafe juicy lotus to go over the basics of filling out tax returns. the tax bureau's envelopes are insanely complicated to open! i spoke to aota to clarify something that didn't seem right and it appears that megaman forgot to do something that may or may not be to my benefit in the long run. a lot of other customers were speaking hebrew, which was pretty weird. between today and the last time i spoke to pg, i'm amazed at how much french comes out when i'm trying for hebrew!

---i've been feeling crap since i got home, i hope it's not serious. i'm struggling to wrap my head around things that really aren't complicated and i couldn't even nap. ugh :(

my girlfriend's boyfriend

http://girlfriendsboyfriend.com/ - i just saw this on netflix, mike birbiglia's cross between stand-up, spoken word and romantic comedy is just mind-blowing!

...

and now i'm going to get back on schedule.

i really didn't like gattaca

i mean, it's got a decent premise but it's boring. having said that, the reveal in the water did make an impression. i was just thinking about it after getting back from boxing, the protagonist's attitude is pretty much how i approach training. my oxygen efficiency wasn't good, but it was definitely better than last week. i hit the bags so hard and for so long that i developed a stitch, and then did impact with the stitch, and still had to do 100 pushups, 100 situps and 25 burpees after that. the stitch remained until shortly after i finally finished with them.

it's st paddy's tonight. after a late night last night and boxing tonight, there's no way i'm going to celebrate. hopefully i'll still be in montreal for next year's parade.

ear-poppingly fast

my entire system is on holiday, which isn't particularly helpful right now but it's a result of enjoying an unbelievably good weekend. which began on friday. and will hopefully end by the time i've written this :)

---friday:

thursday night's sleep wasn't as bad as wednesday's, but it wasn't amazing either. i woke up approximately two minutes before my 5am alarm sounded, and i had to get my shit together quickly if i was going to take advantage of the amazing snowboarding conditions.

i totally got my shit together :)

i'd loaded my kindle with some really good discrete mathematics books, and used my time on the metro and the buses to pour through them when i wasn't getting a little bit of shuteye (the back half of the bus on the way there was filled with happily snoring people, it was really cozy).

what a ridiculously beautiful early morning! it was cold, but absolutely stunning.

the bus took the shorter route that i remembered from last season, which was nice but weird. [or maybe it's because i've only taken the early afternoon buses this season? hmmm...]

the entire length of my walk from the bus to the slopes i struggled to keep my earphone cables from pulling, and when i arrived i realized that i'd closed my inner jacket on top of it. d'oh!
then when i went through my gear to get ready, i discovered two other sets of spares that i'd packed for the previous times - i was wondering where my other socks and sports shirts had gone! d'oh!

some metrics that i wrote down before heading out:
up since 5, it's almost 10.
-16 celsius. 2 hour bus ride instead of the usual 3, plenty of snow and it's still all smooth (unless that's because it's icy, i remain optimistic).
enjoying my first coffee of the day, half of the two french conversations i've had so far made me out to be a complete asshat, and the other involved figuring out how to get sugar into my cup.

as i finished writing that i got milk inc - inside of me [hah! i've never seen or heard the full version before now] stuck in my head and that set the tone for the next few hours. which were awesome, my ankle handled switching just fine, the conditions were great and i really enjoyed myself.
the running nose i was sporting wasn't out of the ordinary, so that was good too.

when i returned to the cafeteria for lunch i was pleasantly surprised to find vegan friendly pasta options! their pasta stand is new, not overpriced and delicious, so my packed peanut butter sandwich (i'd consumed the hummus one as second breakfast) could be relegated to evening snack :)

---once upon a time i had a calculus exam on the sunday morning after infected mushroom and yahel were playing the ostrich farm near eilat (my first trance party in israel, i don't think i've told the story here and i probably should), so i took my books and kinda studied during the after-party on the beach.
on friday i was refreshing discrete maths on the slopes in preparation for a job interview. feels about right, like fifteen years have passed and nothing's changed!

except this time i think i might pass :P

---so the conditions before lunch were excellent, but they were nothing compared to those after lunch! a snowstorm hit, and the rest of the afternoon was absolutely perfect ^_^

except for my shitty ankle giving me trouble, but fortunately it was mostly okay and didn't interfere with what i was doing.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: SWITCHING
not exactly like a pro, but good enough to catch a little air with confidence. launching over a steep drop at high speed is an insane rush, and landing opposite makes it even crazier! so that was this season's goal - next season i'll be attempting properly stupid things in the snow park!

i do hope friday wasn't the end of this one, though. i want more...

---it was strange to be leaving for the bus while the sun was still up. it was a gorgeous, golden sunset, i picked up tea from mcdonald's and brilliantly burned my lips due to my impatience...

the discrete i went through on the bus back was a bit of a headache but i discovered that i do recall some fascinating shit from my first degree. i also napped a bit, which i desperately needed...

i got home, found two envelopes that looked like my french results, showered, scarfed down a frozen dinner and left to meet fp for a second date. for the first time this season i wore my iron fist sweater, which on the way there was too warm and on the way out not warm enough :P

we met at brutopia, which was far too loud so we walked to kafein. a bit of a dodgy dive but the electro was excellent and we had a great time.

---saturday:

we slept at her place, and it was early afternoon when i eventually went home. my sinuses had been griefing me on / off and my legs - omg, my legs were *so* sore after the snowboarding and i hadn't thought to stretch afterwards :(

the first thing i did was check my french results... nope, those are tax forms. dammit!
i caught up on comics for a bit, then decided i was too exhausted to think and tried to nap. but i wasn't tired enough to nap. i needed to go shopping before the fights so i took my netbook to starbucks on the way. i churned out a couple of exciting panels (it's weird how much effort can go into a single panel script for a translation work), quickly ate at subway when i realized i wouldn't have time to make dinner myself, shopped, chugged a protein shake (i don't dig subway's veggie patties) and then went to the sports bar.

across from me on the metro was a father holding an instruction manual trying to show his kid how to transform his optimus prime toy. i couldn't stop smiling, i wanted to take a photo but it didn't seem appropriate.

i arrived about forty minutes late and i was *still* the first there! there was general hockey madness going on, i missed most of the prelims and that included alex garcia who i really wanted to see. vfmp and his boyfriend (they seem to be good, so that's cool) joined me just after ufc 171 was underway.

overall, it was a really exciting night!

*** UFC 171 SPOILER ALERT ***
diego "the dream" sanchez was really entertaining! apparently he was suffering from food poisoning, i'm not sure if that explains his french stewart face as he entered the ring but the reason we were laughing was his pre-fight trash talk, the only thing missing was finger-snapping and when he was announced we all heard "the queen" instead of "the dream".
hendricks vs robbed lawler (you see what i did there?) was so exciting that i actually found myself yelling at the screen. that was some crazy, crazy shit!
*** END UFC 171 SPOILER ***

---sunday:

i enjoyed a decent night's sleep, i was supposed to get up early to join godmother for breakfast but it took me an hour of snoozing before i was able to drag myself out of bed. and then i missed the metro, and the bus... delaying everyone's breakfast and scoring myself a ten minute walk in the beautiful but icily cold and windy morning air.

breakfast was great, but ended on an awkward note because godmother was shocked that i'd even think of contacting the recruiter for my shitty interview to tell her that they could learn a thing or two from the company i'm currently interviewing for. by the time i got home i was ready to send her a message informing her that she was right, that is a bad idea.

i spoke to pg, who found your first snow hysterical and accepted my poetic license (the cookie thing never really happened). so that was cool :)

i entered a debugging nightmare, which wasted a lot of my afternoon. i think it's time to familiarize myself with eclipse's debugging tools as opposed to abusing the console.

i was contacted by a most intriguing girl from the dating site, who's so much so that i'd like to meet her regardless of romantic intentions. fp's now all up in my head-space but this girl seems like she could either blow me away or become a good friend. that's a weird thing to think based on a profile, a message and a phone conversation, but there you go...

i'd been thinking of fp with reservations, but a lot of those reservations melted away when she came over last night for dinner, invader zim and firefly.

---today:

it's 3.20pm, i've done nothing but post for the past couple of hours. i really need to grind now.

hermitage

this is super weird. i got up early this morning and spent the entire day stuffing around with an exercise. i'm not making good time, but i guess that's what being rusty's all about.

at least my breathing's been a bit better, though i'm still a bit uncomfortable. i haven't used my humidifier since this morning, and i'm wondering if that's got something to do with it...

i'm gonna take a break, then maybe do a little more before bed. tomorrow's supposed to be fantastic snowboarding weather, so i think i'll take the opportunity to go in the morning. i can't believe we're at the end of the season already :(

---my mum's been given a clean bill of health! i'm decidedly relieved :)

---EDIT: oh, and i finally watched this after joe rogan tweeted about it a while ago: one step beyond - the sacred mushroom. it's delightful!

shallow breaths

i'm amused no end by the fact that i can't get stellan skarsgård out of my head. the guy who coached us yesterday strongly reminded me of him.

...

i had an absolutely horrible night last night, even after taking meds it was a struggle to breathe. at around 4am i took additional meds, after comparing the two boxes with blurry vision to make sure i wasn't doing something stupid. i did get some sleep after that, but it wasn't great and it ended at 6.59am when something set off our fire alarm.

what a fantastic way to wake up.

once everything settled down i tried studying a bit more, but not much was going in. i fired off an email asking to postpone my interviews until monday, and was offered a date more than three weeks from now. won't they have filled the position by then?! i got them to bring it forward to next week.

the great thing is that i have direction and motivation to prepare for this interview, but it's really good for me in general; if these guys don't pick me up after all this, somebody has to!

experience + refreshed cs knowledge = win.

---after what my sister told me about my niece and her new husband... i'm wondering if i should sent her this.

wednesday tuesday - the wrackening

i just spent hours struggling with a sample problem that these people have used in interviews before. actually solving the problem took a lot longer than i'm comfortable with, but coding it? shit, that took hours! it's been so long since i played with java, with bitwise operations, with actual brainteasers that demand clever algorithms...

... i don't remember when last i enjoyed coding so much. if i'd really been asked this in an interview i would have bombed, the practice is definitely required.

---yesterday:

i spent most of the day studying. in the evening i did some shopping and when i returned found myself mysteriously and frustratingly uncoordinated, but with a partially formed acupuncture in my head.

i hit the gym for kickboxing, looking forward to getting a good workout before going on a date. the warmup was good - really good! i was actually comfortable with the jump rope. that never happens. the shadowboxing wasn't bad, and then i partnered up with a big dude and took the first turn drilling. i was awesome for about two minutes. then i had a problem.

i wasn't getting enough oxygen. no matter how deeply nor how much i breathed. i tried to keep going, and i'd been working with really high intensity, but i became dizzy. i rested a short while, resumed, then realized that my brain function was actually slowing down. that was scary, i sat down and that was the end of the class for me. it explained my earlier coordination issues, too...

so, sinusitis. we meet again. my oxygen starvation is as bad (if not worse) than when i had bronchitis, but the irritating cough i've had for the last few days really hasn't been bad enough to justify this. what the hell???

i made my way back home, suddenly aware that my upper back was hurting. not a good week for my body to fail me. not a good week at all :(

i had a quick dinner and then headed out to the date. my head was still a little fuzzy but i figured the coffee would make up for it. only, that makes perfect sense for the period after i've had the coffee. before, though, i managed to forget the girl's name and when she walked in, turned and looked at me... i wasn't sure it was her. all recognition systems failed, and when she told me her name i wasn't certain that we were meeting the right people. what are the chances of two (essentially) blind dates at the same time and place?

i remained motionless, staring at her smile from about two feet away and squinting my eyes in as puzzled an expression as i could muster. after an awkward amount of time had passed, i offered her my hand and joined her at the counter. later, when i checked her photo again, i was surprised at myself for not having recognized her but simultaneously relieved to find that she's actually put on a bit of weight since it was taken. it suits her and excuses my initial response... a bit.

anyway, we sat down and started talking. the conversation flowed as well if not better than sunday's date! she's attractive, too, though in an unusual way. we talked until one of the employees threatened to lock up with us still inside.

after saying goodnight i went home, and fell into bed feeling slow and stupid.

---today:

i woke up much, much worse. i could barely breathe, my throat was sore and clogged and the duvet was too much heat. i eventually dragged myself to the computer to work through some more material but my mind was still on a delay. and then suddenly it was time to get going, but my mother had convinced me to dress nicely and i needed shoe polish so i rushed to the pharmacy to buy sinus meds and a kit. the kit cost about R200. it's shoe polish. for shoes i don't like wearing that go with clothes that i don't feel comfortable in.

society :(

i thought i would get there early but i actually arrived just in time. the hour i spent there (with a couple of other candidates) was very pleasant. i was overdressed. i ruined a run-through of a sample question because my idea of a "brute force" solution was already optimized, but i missed out something important that resulted in a bug. so that kinda sucked. good thing today doesn't count!

on the way out the other candidates and i were chatting and one of them told me i'd impressed him. we're all vying for the same job, but he's already got a good one so i told him that if he beats me to the punch i'd appreciate an opportunity to replace him :P

perhaps i shouldn't have given him my card. i got paranoid afterwards and it took me a little thought to realize that there's really not much bad he can do with it, even if he was the type to resort to sabotage.

i made a big lunch, finished watching the guild season 7, then crashed. not for long, but i was incapacitated until i re-medicated.

i got up when sunday's date messaged me to ask if i wanted to go for drinks tomorrow night. so the good news was that my assessment on sunday was wrong, the bad news was that i'd have to do something about it today.

swak.

i don't know if my response was tactful enough or offensive, but she thanked me for my honesty and wished me luck so i guess i got the message across.

...

right, so one problem solved, i've scheduled an interview for whenever so i have some serious preparation work to do, i've posted this, and it's 9.30pm and i don't know where my day went.

huh.

at least i know that this weekend and the following monday / tuesday will be awesome snowboarding weather! so that's happening, regardless of how the interviews go.

quick burn monday

i tried to wake up early this morning. i guess i succeeded, but it required a snooze or two. i was so comfortable! not even sleepy, just... comfortable.

that turned to discomfort as soon as i got up, my throat's screwed again. this sucks. and my stomache wasn't too impressed with me either. i felt a bit woozy most of the morning.

when i walked past my calendar i was horrified to discover that i'd written down my mother's surgery date correctly but remembered it wrong! i remembered tuesday, by the time i sent her a message she was already prepped and didn't know what day it was. either, my aunt gently chided :$

i played with java and algorithms until the cleaning lady called me to tell me she'd be bringing a few french movies to vendôme metro for me, so i headed down there to meet her. she told me she'd been the victim of a rather sophisticated phishing attack this weekend, and while she's dealt with the credit card fraud her computer's still compromised. i told her what to do and i've offered to help her re-install her system on the weekend... at least she appears to have learned her lesson :/

i returned, ran laundry and continued practicing, then went to the language meetup. gods, the more i spoke the more difficult it became and i ended up feeling utterly useless. ohshitohshitohshitohshit.

---i picked up some flowers and took them to godmother's, where we had a really nice dinner. delicious, and uncle hate was mostly being pleasant. my aunt in cape town kept trying to call me on skype when only my phone was logged in (i don't allow calls on 3g, and it only alerts me when i get messages), so godmother explained all the details and it sounds like my mom's all clear (crossing fingers anyway). i'll get to speak to her tomorrow, at least.

the one thing that bothered us both is that my mother didn't tell us anything earlier. my mother's always saying how silly it is not to discuss things when one needs support, and suddenly she's guilty of the same behaviour? but then godmother said that yin had told her that she'd probably behave the same way, and i guess that's true of me too to a degree.

---during the afternoon i'd been speaking to pulse, and after dinner i went over to her place for a cup of tea. what i understood from the bus driver's rapid-fire french was that if i want to know when to get off i should keep my eyes peeled. thanks, buddy.

the half hour i spent with pulse was nice, but i feel friend-zoned. that's not a big deal, but i found myself a little too self-conscious while we talked.

the snowstorm i walked out into was unbelievable. mesmerizing, i was listening to tool and watching the flakes spin like little disco balls in the street's light in swirls like a screensaver that could have been an underwater scene or a space one. i had to keep forcing my attention back to the street so that i wouldn't miss my bus.

it was chilly in the metro. i've never noticed the giant vents above the tracks that stream air from an area visible through giant glass panes - tonight that air was cold and we all had to stay covered up.

i've done some more reviewing of my friend's book because i was reading on the metro. there's nothing more frustrating than a fantastically good set of ideas executed with less than fantastic commitment. some of the issues are so ridiculous that it just seems like he got lazy, as if he knew what he wanted to say and got bored trying to share it coherently. i wonder if i'll ever be invited to critique him again after this...

---at godmother's, we watched a bit of the news.

the situation in ukraine is really sad.

the malaysia jet is still missing, but it's not the first to disappear mysteriously. what the hell? shouldn't we be doing something to fix this?

snowden's still on the run for protecting the americans from themselves but speaking to sxsw? cool, but sad too.

ah-ha! a positive drug story. colorado reaping the benefits of legalization

distractions - part ii

[... continued]

about halfway through the night i registered that the boxing ring was set up in an emptied swimming pool. awesome!

the first fight was a bit weird, because after all the show of the pre-fight ceremony the guys barely moved. i expect people who weight 40lbs less than me to be quicker and more intense than me, not slower.

in one of the fights a combatant was doing a kind of mma hand-waving thing that's entirely inappropriate for muay thai. his opponent was so much better than him that in the middle of a round he made fun of him by doing the same hand motions. it was bizarre.

one of the fights was a kid we've all seen at the gym but who none of us have seen sparring. he trains with his shirt on, so we were all shocked when he stepped into the ring looking like he'd been drawn in a comic book. huge pecs and tiny waist, but he'd obviously been skipping leg day. friends don't let friends skip leg day.
his opponent was obviously high level and super-aggressive, and i was blown away by how quickly this dude recovered, figured his shit out and proceeded to dish out punishment. he didn't look like he had it in him!

one of the fighters i was really looking forward to was the guy who took our class a couple of weeks ago, and we were disappointed because while he did a good job, he barely used his legs! it turned out later that his opponent was so tough that after one or two kicks he understood that they'd be totally ineffectual and so he focused on the guy's face. that's hardcore, it's not like there could have been a significant weight difference.

the jolly moroccan: he had a good fight, but i was expecting fireworks. it was exciting, but not as exciting as i expected :(

the last couple of fights on the card were great, and really brought the night to a close on a good note.

...

i travelled most of the way home with one of the guys i train with, and we talked non-stop until parting company. i ate and watched freaks and geeks, then went straight to bed.

---today:

i slept late and woke up still really tired. i broke another glass this morning... one of the new, thicker ones. dammit :(
at least it didn't shatter.

i started posting and suddenly found myself running late for my date! and of course, there's nothing like running late and then just missing the metro. fortunately, even with the combined transportation delays i was only fifteen minutes late.

---the date:

it was immediately apparent, and i mean within a second of seeing her, that she's not my type. we met at myriade, a small connoisseurs coffee shop near guy-concordia, and the coffee was AMAZING. after sorting mine out i sat down across from her and we began chatting; for the first few minutes all i could think about was whether i should be cutting the date short instead of wasting our time. after a few minutes, though, i started trying to find her attractive (nonsensical, i know), because i really, really wanted to. to justify that, neither of us noticed the three hours that flew by as we discussed psychology, society and culture, the academy, performances, politics and language... she's interesting and engaging and awesome!

i hope we can be friends, and by that i mean that i hope i'm wrong about the look she gave me when we said goodbye - a look that i read as a hurt "shit, you're not into me". i feel really bad about that.

---otherwise, it was a beautiful afternoon and well spent! i didn't have much time to rest before the poetry slam, so i settled on watching the guild while hurriedly eating. season 7 is available on netflix! sweet :)

the crap news, though is that the filling that's been giving me trouble since the dentist had his way with it? the one that i haven't been able to eat with? well, i felt and heard something crack today, and now it's sensitive to everything. *LONG STRING OF EXPLETIVES DELETED HERE*

...

i rushed off to sign up, arriving late but in time. i met a couple of other poets and we entertained each other non-stop. horseman, newk'd, newk'd's girlfriend and friend showed up soon after everything began, and i must say that it was quite a relief to have support :)

---i went with preacher. apparently my performance was spot on, except for the very last word... it's like they keep shouting in the gym: "finish strong! finish strong!" - fail :(
but shit happens.

i didn't make it to round two, unfortunately - i guess the judges didn't like my style, but what was really moving for me was the rest of the audience's reaction; to know that there were people that i actually managed to touch to the point of yelling and cheering mid-performance, and to get such a warm response from random strangers afterwards was amazing! ^_^

i could yell "i was robbed" until i was blue in the face; i know how hard it is to judge and how subjective it is, and i'll just have to hope that my attempt next month manages to blow them away.

---newk'd and girlfriend and i went to aux vivres for dinner, eating and talking until they kicked us out. i've spent a little time on another case solved, and now that i've posted i'm going to hit the hay. i need to get cracking on my interview preparation in the morning.

---this article on time management covers me and distractions.

this old lecture on vegans and heart disease is still relevant. long, but full of interesting information. if you want a summary, though, eat ground flax and take b12 supplements.

distractions - part i

i watched the last two episodes of freaks and geeks last night. how does a series go from "harmless fun" through to "insanely brilliant" so quickly?!

and then just end???

i may have narrative closure, but i feel like i need to re-watch the whole thing. i really am sad that it's over.

---friday:

i installed eclipse to play with java - which i haven't touched in a while - and did that for a while. i did some more of the book review, hitting a short story that's absolutely wonderful but suffers such a huge plot issue that i've actually offered him big suggestions; i hope he's not too offended :P

i went shopping, and was pleased to discover that using the points card i've already earned myself a $20 discount. that card *is* worth it.

boxing class was good, i partnered with a guy i know who's really tough and experienced and we worked particularly well together. when it was time to go hard on the punching bags, i was letting it all out and that included my breathing; "totalwaste, shut up!" shouted the coach, "you're not even hitting it that hard!"
that pissed me off, the combination of being told that and the possibility that he might be right. i hope he was wrong :(

impact was a treat, we both consistently scored solid liver shots but were both supportive of each other. and that dude hits hard, that did my confidence some good.

a couple of us talked about work until late, i rushed home for a quick dinner and headed over to vfmp's. on the way i set up two dates, one for sunday and one for tuesday, which was cool. then i got off the bus two stops too early and felt like an idiot. at least the weather was comfortable :P

we watched a decent episode of house of cards and played a great game of carcassonne, but there wasn't much conversation and i got the feeling his heart wasn't into it.

when i got home i felt lazy as usual. i totally spaced out playing another case solved (i really am addicted, its meta-game is really that good), then used book reviewing as an excuse to consume lots of junk food before bed.

i went to bed with a big toe really hurting. the air's been really dry in my apartment the last few days and it's messing with everything; cracked skin's no fun :(

---yesterday:

it was a gorgeous, warm-ish, sunny day!

i enjoyed a slow, late wake up right until i realized that i needed to rush to get to la panthère verte on time :$
bnw and i went over the script, everything looks good and she's ready to rock. awesome!

we sat there long enough for two coffees and lunch, about a third of that time involved the comics and the rest talking about everything. she and her husband are going through a weird phase and i really hope they get their shit all sorted out...

the girl sitting about a metre away from me for most of the afternoon looked so remarkably like pulse that it was uncanny. i caught her eye once and she didn't respond to my smile, so i assumed it wasn't her but i couldn't shake the feeling that it was and that she was pretending not to know me... the only explanation for that being that she thought that bnw and i were on a date. when she went to the washroom for a minute i asked her friend if she's who i thought she was, and her friend gave me another name. it was enough to make my head spin!

i didn't try the maple taffy on our way in to the metro, but i really must. apparently, spring has arrived :P

i was completely bombed on the metro, i was slipping in and out of consciousness until i got home.

---i spoke to my mum, and the more i think about it the less patient i become to hear good news from her post-op. i'm sure she'll be fine, but i think i finally understand what she goes through whenever something happens to me. we're really far away.

---i sent a message to pulse regarding the earlier non-incident, and was surprised to find myself in a long, really positive text conversation. we talked about all sorts of things, to the point where it just seemed right to invite her to the slam tonight. she said she might come, which would make things super dramatic if today's date goes well because if it does i wouldn't not invite her to the slam too! i'm laughing at myself right now, i think this is hysterically stupid of me.

ssso got in touch with me on facebook - it's been more than nine years! how good friendships disappear... it was nice to catch up, though.

i went to watch the jolly moroccan fight last night, and discovered that muay thai fights have been banned or something so these were all defined as amateur exhibitions...

[continued...]

quick linkage

manybooks.net has free ebooks. LOTS of them. in whatever format you desire.

...

funny or heart-warming, or both: 30 nice things is worth scrolling through!

...

6, 10, 11, 14, 20, 23, 25, 30, 34, 35, 36 are the ones that made me laugh :)

positive start

okay, so... i slept beautifully - so much so that it was really tough getting out of bed - and traded rather pleasant messages with pulse, which is kinda weird but whatever. i didn't know what to expect at 11am, so i was a little nervous... but the call i got was simply to explain the interview process and it doesn't sound like anything i can't handle. plus, unlike the disaster interview i did a short while ago, i'd actually have a heads-up on what's expected of me.

so i know which skills to brush up on. the same ones as last time. that's cool.

...

i just stopped posting this to speak to my mom, who's just informed me that she's having an operation next week. i pray everything'll be fine.

---this response to anti-vaxxers is excellent, though i could have done without the drunken typos... but penn and teller at the end of the page? i love those guys.

drawing blanks

okay, i'm ready for a (relatively) early night. chris porter: ugly and angry is unbelievably funny, the second half was even better than the first!

---i slept terribly last night. i woke up to a message from comixology explaining that due to their servers being hacked we'd need to reset our passwords and change any similar passwords on other sites or services. well, it sounds like they weren't particularly diligent. i'm not impressed.

i spoke to a recruiter today and he seemed kinda enthusiastic. we'll see.

the cleaning lady came in after lunch, and we talked for a while about immigration politics and taxes. apparently i need to file my taxes soon. oh, shit. newk'd's pretty good with these things, i'm very glad he's willing to help me...

i wanted lunch but our subway doesn't do falafel, so i took a metro to another subway. or a subway to a subway. egads. anyway, it was good and while i was there i read this wired article about silicon valley that makes a very good case for social responsibility.

i then returned to my local starbucks to work on my comics. i got some good stuff done, excitingly so!

---while there my mother messaged me to remind me that it's been eleven years since her brother passed away. i started responding and got emotional, then erased what i was writing because i realized that it was for me, not for her. i don't usually get emotional about death, but eleven years ago when i found out i cried like a baby, and today i was taken by surprise to be tearing up in public.

---horseman arrived and i packed up, we walked the icy, icy walk to the metro and headed to la belle province - an uber-dodgy diner. as we completed ordering some old guy came up and began harassing us for not buying the delicious muffins that were on sale, because they're delicious *and* the proceeds go towards the children. how heartless could we be? he himself claims to be diabetic, so if it's important enough that *he* risks it then we should feel obliged. or heartless.

he was so up-in-our-faces about it, i actually expected things to get physical. people, man... people. i suspect he was just attempting to flirt with the disinterested teen behind the counter.

horseman and i talked about all sorts of things in french, then i headed back to hit the gym. jiu-jitsu felt a bit slow but eventually i got the basic techniques of the day. kickboxing began on an aggravating note because the class dumbass (i've mentioned him before) made a comment about israelis invading and stealing palestinian land. he wouldn't shut up when i told him to, and was shocked to discover that i'm an israeli. one of the guys is a palestinian refugee, his family having left in '48, and we couldn't just let it all slide...

... fortunately, the two of us share some of our views and we presented the mess together to the clueless who were interested. once that was off our collective chest we got into training; it was a particularly tough beginner's class and i was partnered with a first-timer. so it was up to me to teach him the basics and i spent some time with him on the bags afterwards. he's a football player, once he gets the kicks he'll be fine :P

...

after showering, i watched a couple more episodes of freaks and geeks and the better it gets the sadder i get that there's only one season :'(

that's it. that's my day. now to climb into bed and hope to wake up refreshed for tomorrow morning's telephone interview. or whatever it's supposed to be.

over my shoulder

being appreciated for my poetic efforts is, without doubt, one of the most intensely gratifying experiences. i made a comment the other day about having fans, but today began with an sms from vector saying "i just wanted to say that i was profoundly moved by that third piece you sent me. signs in the dead night."

i sat staring stupidly at my phone's screen with the biggest smile on my face, unsure of how to respond and even less sure how to take something like that.

on my way out of training i was talking to a couple of the guys i've become friendly with recently, and i mentioned slam poetry. after attempting to describe it i offered them a sample, which visibly shocked them; "that was inspiring, man", repeated one, and the other's apparently coming on sunday to see what else i've got.

shit, that feels good ^_^

---last night i went to vfmp's to watch house of cards but... that's wasn't on the cards. he and his boyfriend may or may not be breaking up, so we talked for a while and then watched an episode of parks and recreation before i had to leave. it was all rather depressing, and i tried to be as supportive and intelligent as i could but there really aren't rules to these things :(

...

i let my netbook linux upgrade before going to bed, which was a mistake as it took forever. i used the opportunity to continue critiquing my buddy's book. on the one hand, i have a lot of things to say, but on the other the quality overall is pretty good. at least i'm being entertained! and unlike other literature i don't fully approve of, i actually do have an opportunity to influence the final output. at least when it's done i won't be able to say "damn, didn't anyone proof-read this?!" because i'll know exactly what went into it :P

i slept alright, my back and neck notwithstanding - they weren't really bad, but they were annoying and i spent most of my day worrying that i was going to do something to put myself completely out of joint. i think boxing helped.
during a period of tired restlessness, i lay in bed thinking about the kind of crap i put up with as a student. one item stood out in particular.

---i played a lot of soccer as a kid. i was never very good, but i enjoyed it, mostly. even then, i understood the value of teamwork; perhaps that's where i learned it. playing a defender and always finding myself the only player between the opposing strikers and our goalkeeper because everyone else wanted to be a hero was supremely frustrating, but i never gave up. gods, i could fill chapters with soccer horror stories but two of my last experiences actually involved me scoring goals in school matches. the announcement from the first of them still haunts me.

it was an away game, and i somehow managed to take the ball across the field all the way to the opposing goals. i'd just crossed the penalty box line and found myself facing off against one of their defenders. unaware of any other options available to me, completely engrossed in the moment, i took the shot. it deflected off the defender's shin and sailed smoothly past their keeper and into the goal.

for the first time in my eight or nine years playing school and club soccer, i had scored a goal under match conditions. this was a fantastic moment, and was met with enthusiastic cheers! i was so excited! for once, i'd contributed in a noticeable way, as opposed to my usual thankless job in the background. let's not kid, nobody gives a shit about defenders.

friday morning, school assembly. the captain stands up to announce the results. i will never forgive him for this:
"and totalwaste scored an own-goal."

he was trying to play it down because he didn't like me, and rather than admit that i'd done something positive he went with my causing the other team to score an own-goal - intentionally or not, his statement did not include certain crucial details. unfortunately, not only is that absurdly petty but it's all the rest of the school would believe, and my victory turned sour as i became the subject of ridicule for being such a loser.

i'll also never forgive the sports master / coach for not correcting him. bastards.

---speaking of personal history, there was this girl in eighth grade when i was in my final year; i was good friends with one of her teachers and someone in class had caught her scribbling something about liking me. she wasn't one of the cool kids, and the next time i walked in to the class to say hello everyone got silly and tried to humiliate her by letting me know. her teacher and i took one look at each other and decided to play along; i made a point of flirting with her and that shut everyone up. even though she was too young for me, i didn't have to pretend too much 'cause she was a sweet girl and was definitely going to be good-looking given a couple more years :)

it embarrassed her at first, but a day or two later when i passed her in a corridor she'd visibly gone from zero to hero - we'd made her! and it stuck - i'm smiling widely now just thinking about it...

anyway, when i got onto facebook in 2007 and started reconnecting with all my school buddies, she was one of the first people i looked up. i had to know what she looked like! but i couldn't find her.

until today. someone connected with me on linkedin and i looked through their connections to see who else i'd know - and when i saw her name my heart skipped a beat. then i grinned, and nodded, because i was totally right.

---i spent most of the day dealing with my lack of attention span. seriously, i'm driving myself nuts - i can't focus on anything. the good news is that the project i'm working on is practically writing itself - the things i thought would be difficult? done. now i'm learning the ins and outs of leap's frames and hopefully i'll have an approach in mind soon.

before training i started on the second harry potter (in french). my kindle asked me to review the first, so i obliged... and afterwards saw that practically all the reviews on amazon are by people reading it to improve their french. no francophone readers? seriously? that's kinda odd.

training was alright, i finally met an illustrator i'd been told about and she's going to be in touch soon. i'm in two minds about linking to her webcomic (i'm still awkwardly in the closet regarding my blog's anonymity), but it had me laughing hysterically at her caricatures of the guys we train with (they're bloody accurate, i wonder if the guys themselves have authorized them) when i wasn't being amazed by how much we have in common!

i was chatting with one of the guys after training when the coach called me over to teach. so far he's been asking me to handle the first-timers, but this time he wanted to do that himself and have me take the rest of the class for fifteen minutes. that included guys who've been training longer than me... it started awkwardly, and a couple of them were convinced that i was teaching them something wrong: i explained my logic, and i felt light-bulbs turn on as they warmed up to me. by the end i was doing rounds and correcting, with one guy in bad french, even, and someone even approached me afterwards to ask me questions.

that all felt pretty good.

i rushed home to shower and go out to buy dinner, making it just in time, then put it together giggling to chris porter: ugly and angry which is brilliant. i ate watching a couple more episodes of freaks and geeks. it's bothering me that the series is going to end.
not cool, world, not cool.

---this article on quebec language policy is quite worrying. i really hope things don't devolve here...

define irony!

and in a delicious twist, it suddenly strikes me that not only is alanis morissette - ironic a perfectly good example of "legitimate" irony because the song doesn't contain any, but that the word itself has been transformed by popular usage to mean the "expectedly unexpected". which is not what the word originally means. which is perfectly ironic :D

---why did i watch fry and laurie reunited until 4am?! what the hell???

i dreamed of a cape town reunion experience which became extremely confused, and that was followed by an entirely arbitrary series of senselessness. i woke up after lunchtime, and wasn't feeling good at all. eventually i took my netbook to starbucks to work on my comics for a while; it was an ugly day, but watching the twilight snowfall from a cozy spot made it much better. finishing a section helped too.

i checked, it's only our subway that didn't have enough demand for falafel to keep it stocked. i got coins from the supermarket, the girl making my change seemed upset and hit the coin stack pretty violently before confusing the numbers several times.

in addition to not feeling well, my neck and back have been getting progressively more stiff and sore since yesterday. it's very frustrating and distracting :)

i ran laundry and got to work on my leap motion sample project, and am pleased to report that i've made good progress and that it looks like c# will allow me to get the desired behaviour without resorting to any workarounds! very cool, microsoft, very cool.

now it's dinnertime, and then i'll be off to watch another episode of house of cards with vfmp.

easy like a monday morning

well, i'm feeling sensitive today! i just watched another couple of episodes of freaks and geeks and i'm totally in. it's been light and fun, sometimes a little off, but overall its characters are absolutely wonderful and their development is sneakily subtle.

---i woke up this morning from epic dreams in a final fantasy world. odd mountains and oceans and guns and magical creatures. very cool.

i woke up this morning to an sms from sq telling me about a french movie i should watch that reminded her of me. i just saw the trailer for it, it looks interesting. i wonder what the connection is?

the first thing i did when i got up, as i knew i needed to go outside, was check the weather app. apple ui fail: i accidentally pressed on the temperature and discovered that THAT'S how to get all the details! why would i intentionally press on the temperature?! it's a display, with no indication to the contrary. if you can tap somewhere to get more detail then it should be clear. or there should be a tutorial.

i felt horrid on my way out, kinda dizzy. as if friday night's events hadn't totally finished with me... but it was gorgeous out, minus the evilly cold wind. i came across a postal van decorated with superman: so they think superman's 75th birthday is cool enough to celebrate with stamps? when i was a kid and stamp collections were a thing, i never saw this coming :)

i drew the cash i needed, so suspicious that the machine hadn't given me everything because all the notes were so new that the wad felt too thin. i looked around to make sure i was alone and quickly counted next to the machine, which is something i know not to do. nothing bad happened, but i still felt ashamed.

i was on my way to walmart when i recalled the homeless pirate and suddenly the comment i made then concretized. as of now i'm only going to refer to toonies as "doubloons". or "doubloonies", at a push. and it makes enough sense that everyone will get it, just like everyone calling the two shekel coin "shnekel" (shne is "two" in hebrew).
ooh, an opportunity to share stephen fry making a marvellous point about being a guardian of language.

i was freezing by the time i walked into walmart, the wind being bitter and mean. my mission was simple, i found thick glass cups quickly and easily, loaded up on some builder bars and then headed out to subway for lunch. or second breakfast. what the hell?! it really is only my local subway that doesn't do falafel. bastards!

when i got home, i paid my rent and finally sorted out the piles of papers that have been accumulating over the past month. i found my caq... which appears to be locked in to my previous employer. oh, shit. maybe it doesn't matter. whatever.

i plugged in my leap motion controller and tried getting the sample code to run - i thought it was broken, but it needs to be set up in a specific way that's not explained in a readme file. why not?!

i went shopping before heading out to the french meetup as a pretext to acquire laundry coins. the experience was efficient but i forgot the damned coins, and it was so bloody cold...

the meetup was cool. by the time i arrived both tables were full, and beginners were being tutored on both sides of me. at least there were oreos. i forced a conversation with the guy across from me, but he gave up at some point, and shortly after the guy next to me took a break from tutoring and we started talking. he's slightly more advanced than i am, but we had stuff to talk about which was nice. i ran through one of the canned role playing exercises with someone else, and overall i think it was a good experience.

i also found out about tv5.org, which godmother had been telling me about. nice!

i've been reviewing a friend of mine's book pre-publishing, it's a pdf on my kindle. so... i've finally found a use for highlighting things :P

boxing: i've become one of the guys, it appears. and i don't think the girl said anything to the coach about my dancing. i was partnered with an older woman who's been allowed to join the advanced class but needs a ton of work to get up to speed... i'm starting to sense a pattern, a flattering one in which i'm the goto guy for technique. i was happy to do it, though it didn't give me much opportunity to practice. fortunately, nobody minded switching partners for impact and i went with a guy who hits pretty hard. after that, a sparring partner i haven't seen since the beginning of winter returned and i joined him and a buddy of his for muay thai in the octogon.

i was completely gassed by the end of the last round with them, i'd gone three or four and my left leg and foot are quite banged up. i would've preferred being better than "you're much better", i certainly wasn't in control and there were a few times when i just stood in front of my opponent and took punishment - having said that, it wasn't bad at all and i'm really glad we're back in action :)

army brat came past as we were finishing up and i harassed her about her technique. i tried to work with her on one of the bags, and suddenly realized that her punching and kicking is completely irrelevant in light of the issues she has with her stance. i love figuring out the causes! our coach laughed when he saw the exercises i was making her do, exercises i had to do for taekwondo thirteen years ago that made a world of difference. once we'd established what her homework was, i was ready to head home.

after showering, i finally went back onto the dating site and got back on the horse. pulse has been relegated to "miss february", and it's march now. after that, i discovered that the slam on sunday is only going to be two rounds. oh, shit! well, i'm prepared for four, and while it's usually not easy to cut pieces i knew exactly which had to be relegated to the following event.

---brainbug - nightmare came on on my way to the french meetup, and i daydreamed about the first time i heard it. i was about to write about it when i realized that i may have done that before. oh gods, i'm repeating stories on my blog, just like i do in real life. oh, no...

not quite, not bad

why am i watching captain n the game master? [oh. nevermind. a castlevania reference. why did it make such an impression on me as a kid? what's with the scary clown face mother brain sports?]
why did i spend so much time hunting through my blog history? [okay, i know the answer to that, it's my ocd...]

at least i got some reading done. aaaaand i think it's time for bed. it's been a great weekend overall.

on parole: sound check - part up

[... continued]

after all that, i still wasn't feeling good but i was definitely getting back in the saddle. i spoke to horseman and bnw, who'd called while i was mentally unfit to talk, and bnw had some fantastic news for me! she's finally feeling settled in her day job, and she's back to sketching. even better news is that her english has improved enough over the past six months that she's willing to *read* my script; which is terrific because i really shouldn't be drawing too much. anyway, we're meeting on the weekend and i'm really excited about that ^_^

---nuit blanche:

i didn't want to miss out on nuit blanche (i wanted to make up for last year's disaster), so i downloaded the guide app and made a list of possible attractions. when i arrived downtown i found myself hungry for the first time all day. the food court i was aiming at was closed, to i took the metro to p.m. and had myself a good dinner. horseman and a buddy of his arrived in the area just as i finished, we met up and walked to the museum of fine art.

the first piece we encountered was astonishing; it was hard to believe it was painted and the effects were as surreal and mind-blowing as the content. we walked through all the open exhibits, some of which were severely dull but some of which were stunning. and a good time was had by all :)

horseman's friend is also into hip-hop, though i'm never quite certain what it means when someone's introduced to me as an mc; regardless, he demonstrated some of his rhymes and they were pretty intense! when i offered a piece in response, however, he was humbled, which left me embarrassed. i think i'm pretty good, and it's certainly very cool and flattering to have fans, but his stuff was good in a very different way and the last thing i wanted was for him to clam up :(

i tried to explain to him that it takes all voices, i hope i got through to him.

---we arrived at the mccord museum for one of the poetry slam events, one of the guys running it was the guy who picked me to judge last month's collective slam. they were running an all-night workshop with recitals every hour, free tickets to the museum exhibits for anyone courageous enough to step up to the mic. i was in need of caffeine and the coffee stand wasn't ready, so we all did a quick second cup run and returned just in time to sign up.

i was nervous, getting up in front of a crowd of strangers. in retrospect, it might have been more appropriate for me to throw the quebec immigration song onto the fire, but i was saving it for next week so i went with advice because i felt it would give a good sense of the possible to the initiates.

i was surprised to be given seniority (first slot after the two organizers), i considered myself unproven as i kinda messed up online dating when the guy had first heard me. my breathing felt constricted and for the entire time my feet were rooted to the floor, but i kept my pace slow and focused and apparently i gave the best performance.

i cannot describe how validating that was! i was actually embarrassed when horseman and his buddy loudly praised me; i won't tell you the appreciation didn't add to my elation, but i did feel it a bit unfair to the others who had almost all done a good job of their first times!

overall, i was really impressed by the event and how much attention it garnered. and i was only there for half an hour. and the opportunity to practice before next week's slam was definitely needed!

---the main events around place des arts were beautiful, but we were all too tired to play. it was snowing and the main dance floor was just as decent as igloofest, there was a whole lot of crazy stuff to see and just a stroll through it all was an experience. the guys split just before we arrived at another slam event location, but it was too late anyway as they'd already closed their doors for the evening. i walked through to a kinetic art exhibit inside place des arts, it was fun but after a quick mill around i decided to call it a night.

a night in which i went from totally buggered to excellent! i got home, posted, and eventually got into bed around 6pm. i don't know what the hell took me so long, but i fell asleep so quickly that i only registered random dreams and waking up.

---i'm addicted to another case solved. there's a review here that i mostly agree with, but i think that they've done a terrific job of using freemium. paying for shit is attractive, but not paying for shit forces you to chill out, to take breaks and to develop different strategies for progressing. for example, i never waste "bought" tools on newspaper cases unless i'm definitely going to solve them, and there are "free" tools and abilities (like a once-per-turn sponge) that help with that. and if i need cash to purchase furniture or tools i will keep doing newspaper cases until i have enough. it's all gravy :)

i was holding a glass this morning and bumped it against a cupboard. it exploded, with shattered fragments littering the floor. i'm really glad my feet have toughened since leaving cape town. i'm going to be very careful when purchasing replacements to make sure that i get heavy glass, this is the second i've had to toss in as many weeks :/

i had a long chat with my mother, then headed to godmother's for coffee. the temperature was -8 but it was really beautiful and the day was lazy, relaxed and unstressed. that's the first time i've felt like that since leaving cape town!

i came home, made lunch and watched a couple more episodes of freaks and geeks. i've finally had a chance to catch up with SxS, which is good because i'm finally armed with useful information about my current status. now i'm going to read. i'm almost done with the first harry potter in french, and a friend has just sent me (and a couple of other people) a copy of his book to read before he submits it to his publisher.

on parole: sound check - part down

i woke up yesterday morning really, really nervous. it didn't help that while attempting to fill out the registration form i realized that i had, a number of weeks ago, downloaded a sample exam that would have helped tremendously in my preparation. feeling stupid, and under a lot of pressure, i hurriedly walked through the materials before leaving for the test. i had just enough time. it was pretty important that i did that, because what followed would have been way worse otherwise!

for the first time i looked properly at the photos i had taken the other day: i looked like shit.

the day was going to be all about panic versus calm in the face of a big life moment. tgtbt made me smile with her enthusiastic support and helpful corrections when we corresponded in french, messages from friends and family were a nice gesture but at the end of the day it would be me alone versus the machine.

listening to my ipod on the metro, i pressed next on a track i wasn't enjoying, then grinned like an idiot when paul van dyke - words came on.

my primary concern on leaving the metro: if i'm so nervous, do i really need caffeine? better safe than sorry, i told myself as i purchased a cup.

phase 1: writing

i found the room i needed to be in without much difficulty, and stood looking at the desks to decide where to sit.
"this is the right place," said one of the women (in french, not one moment of the next four hours would be conducted in english). "find a seat."
i continued looking, so she repeated herself with an unnecessarily condescending tone.
"yes," i stammered, "i understood. i'm trying to decide where to sit."

i hadn't completed the registration form before arriving because i had questions about it that needed answering. when i approached their table after finding my desk i handed them all my documents and began explaining that i had issues that needed resolving. she shoo'ed me away from the table so that she could stand up and inform everyone (with even more condescension in her tone) "it is a GOOD idea for one to complete the registration form BEFORE arriving at the test".

was that really necessary? i bit my tongue and slowly repeated my questions. her answers were flippant and dismissive, so screw her and the horse she rode in on.

the written exam consisted of two parts.

the first, 80+ words continuing an article about a group of neighbours suing some woman for owning a rooster that was waking everyone up each morning. having had my own run-in with this sort of thing, i could draw on my experience, but damn, essay writing is a creative endeavour and tests my ability to make up stories rather than my ability to express myself in french. just saying.

the second part consisted of a phrase extracted from some magazine that i was supposedly writing to to weigh in with my opinion. without context the sentence made so little sense that i sat staring at it for precious minutes before i arrived at something that seemed logical, and proceeded to churn out about half of the 200+ words they wanted from me.

after one hour into three and a half of the total test, i had written 150-200 words of absolute bullshit. i felt like i was failing a blood test.

phase 2: e-tests

reading, listening comprehension and basic exercises (like completing sentences). some sections of the tests were pleasantly surprising. others, mortifying. i don't know what kind of asshole thought up the audio test, but an exam which automatically plays through the entire forty minutes without the ability to pause nor revise an answer is psychologically abusive.
for example, there was a question near the end where i had to say whether the displayed text matched the audio track, and i said "yes". suddenly i realized that i'd misheard "le" as "ce" and made to correct my mistake, but just as i clicked "no" the question flipped and so my answer remained incorrect.

they subtract points for incorrect answers.

phase 3: oral exam

returning to the dentist who fucked up my teeth would have been more pleasant. of course, the woman before me being fluent did wonders for my confidence...

the oral examination consists of two parts, five minutes formal and ten minutes informal. the formal part saw me being interviewed telephonically for a job. again, that felt like it was testing my ability to interview rather than my linguistic savvy. having said that, the first part seemed to go better than the second. in the second i had to talk to an examiner as if we were good friends and convince her to apply for a reality show. she may have made it relatively easy, but in my opinion it was more along the lines of a debating exam than a language one. shit, i couldn't think of anything to say to this stranger in english, forget translating! she did give me an opportunity for entirely unwarranted flattery, though, which i hope helped rather than hindered.

i'm fairly certain that they'd had enough of me before my time was up. i walked out thinking "that was never ten minutes just there!" in michael palin's voice. i don't think that's a good sign at all.

i was on my way out of the entrance to the building when a cute girl who'd also taken the exam approached me to clarify something she'd misunderstood from the instructions: were we to stay until 6.30, or could we leave once we were done? dumbfounded, now *i* wasn't sure, so i followed her around for a bit until we were fairly certain that we were just wasting our time.

i entered the eaton centre food court in search of pre-boxing dinner, and found myself at subway. for the first time ever since i arrived here, the girl behind the counter spoke to me in french and i responded in french, celebrating the exam being over by ordering everything without reverting to english once.

i was bummed on the metro, though. have i burned out? if so, is this from yesterday's stress or from before... like before i quit? is my brain not functioning properly? did i miss a nervous breakdown? i can't imagine that i did, but i definitely haven't been on top of my game in a long time...

... and yet, life's not bad. i guess it's all about perspectives and emotions, and post-exam mine were pretty bleak. i'll find out in two weeks if i really crashed and burned, or if i somehow pulled through. all i can do is keep calm and carry on.

the big company pulse's friend referred my resume to? i received an email on friday evening saying that they'd like to proceed with interviewing me. superb! now i just need to get comfortable coding again, the last test was painful :(

it was a great fight night! the matches were mostly exciting, the few that weren't were over quickly. one of the best fights came right after the worst, in which a snotty young kid destroyed his opponent while an enthusiastic troll - his father, i presume - shouted grossly inappropriate things like "fuck him up!" and "break his face!". he made everyone so awkward that we all stopped applauding to stare angrily, and it was only after the following fight that the tension dissipated and everyone chilled out again.

it only ever takes one asshole...

afterwards, while waiting with the group from class to go out and celebrate one of ours winning his fight, i chatted with pbb (potential boxing boss) and learned something very interesting indeed! apparently, the permit process should be way shorter for me than before because i already have my caq. it's transferable? i'm gonna check that out tomorrow!

i didn't feel too cold outside until we were almost at the bar, but then suddenly we were all freezing. i don't have a clue where we went, but it was a decent place with a dj playing a surprisingly solid mix of pop, 90's and classics. we all pitched in for a couple of bottles of vodka and mixers, the vibe was excellent and we were all having a fun time.

until i wasn't. fortunately, that was only at the end of the night just before the bar closed. apparently, two solid rums, a beer and i-couldn't-even-keep-track of the quantity of vodka i consumed don't work well on an empty stomache. the last time i've been in such a bad state was in 2008, when i got stuck in a fainting loop. i was constantly on the verge of fainting last night, and staying conscious was extremely demanding. i'm incredibly proud of myself that i managed to confine my throwing up to the toilets - no thanks to the fight organizer (gently) punching me in the belly as i hurried down there the first time - and i was constantly thinking of the "rock bottom" meme and being grateful for not having reached it. one of the girls gave me a ride home, and she's obviously super experienced with drunk people because she was extremely patient and considerate.

i still shouldn't have let her know about my dancing history (which we discussed before i was properly wasted, so i don't have an excuse). i hope that doesn't get back to our coach...

---saturday:

it must have been about 4am. i managed to get up the stairs and into the bathroom, got what i hoped was everything out and then tried to get some water down before crashing on the couch, far too drunk to get myself into a shower and certainly not prepared to drag my dirty carcass into bed. even drinking water made me nauseous.

not a good sign.

so without any hydration, i passed out. i woke up several hours later still feeling terribly drunk and incapable of doing anything about it. i suffered hours of anguish and keeping things like water down still wasn't working. it was only about 1pm when i finally could start treating myself. everything would continue to be hazy and the most basic things difficult until around 5pm. all i could handle until then was brainlessly watching a whole lot of freaks and geeks. it's a great series for that.

i stayed away from coffee the whole time because i was really worried that i'd developed an ulcer. fortunately, i think my concerns were for naught.

[continued...]