thinking

 well, mr smear did it - he handled his fears and he went to bed 🙏

i stayed up pretty late, but finally crashed and slept a bit. not enough, apparently, because i've spent most of the day uncomfortably alternating between reading and napping, with only a couple of longer periods watching an episode of doctor who and giving up on acquiring the zerg campaign in starcraft ii and ending up installing the original starcraft instead.

i've been making a lot of progress through elana gomel's nightwood, and it's riveting fairy tale horror.

now, to mr smear's usual chagrin, we're going out for a bit.

...

i've spent a lot of today thinking about tomorrow's dealings with bigtalk. i occasionally feel like things are going to be alright, but for the most part i'm quite anxious.