weight lifting

there's an awkward moment that just happened, during which i realized and admitted to myself that i am, in fact, fat. and that this isn't a sudden or temporary state change. while it's not a shameful thing - i'm certainly not uncomfortable with other people seeing or knowing - i'm definitely not comfortable being this way.

the sun has just set over the augrabies national park, we arrived just in time for gate closing yesterday evening after a solid nine-hour race against waze (with a couple of hairy moments that i'm still bothered by because i was making every effort to arrive safely), and today has been a mixed bag of relaxing / hiking / feeling quite muddled as i try to process where i am and where i've been.

hearing mr smear and his friend giggling almost constantly is fantastic, witnessing his awe and wonder as we immerse ourselves in nature is a pure pleasure. 

my favourite quotes of his over the course of the past two days:

"that? not so much."

"that's sick, man, that's sick"

"i make no promises. no promises."

i read 300 today, and started on the second volume of the sandman. our rabbi friend and i played a great game of carcassonne. i chased off a baboon who, after finding my mom's car locked, defiantly began chewing on the beesting aerial while maintaining eye contact.

i'm exhausted, but my heart is light.