stuff happens

i'm tired, i'm busy, i'm sore... but i'm full of gratitude, love, and hope. and feeling kinda chilled, which is pretty amazing for me.

wednesday 18th april:

tender neck, second night of foghorn in a row

dragged out of bed to the couch, causing an upset by allegedly putting mr smear off his breakfast, "NO i love you!" on the way to school

back home, passing out facedown on the couch, driving gd to the chiropractor, working, picking up mr smear (who'd been very bossy with his mates), getting him home to bed and crashing myself, pouring rain (yay!), a pharmacy run, a conference call with sailor, a grocery run, skipping the gym

sailor over for dinner, a long time getting mr smear to bed, almost midnight before finally getting to work

thursday 19th:

eyes crossing and going to bed around 1.30pm

*somebody* seeing the electric quad bike on waking up and i promised him we'd use it to avoid disaster

"a café latte and vacuum cleaner to go" - i wish i'd been recording that

working well during gd's hypnotherapy session, but getting a bummer of a call from a recruiter with at least partially bullshit feedback

a quick wellness warehouse visit before picking up mr smear, picking him up and learning that he'd stood on his best friend (i now believe that means "stood up to") and watching him tell the new israeli girl he didn't want to play with her (she was sad, and later her parents behaved awkwardly with me so i guess that's not happening)

coming home to police tape - our downstairs neighbour had been murdered in the night

mr smear napping while i worked and gd enthusiastically inspected the new cleaning lady's work

leaving very late for the independence day celebrations at ratanga junction, my first time there and sadly the last time it'll be open (or was it? i'm not sure), some great rides, a generally fun afternoon

returning home in the dark but taking mr smear out to the parking lot with the electric quad bike because a promise is a promise - gd and i both enjoying the experience as well

getting him ready for bed, the book for boys turning out to be a poor choice as well as possibly containing dust mites

needing to lie down immediately after getting mr smear to sleep in spite of having taken a good swig of coffee a little earlier, and a little later moving to the bed

friday 20th:

uncomfortably warm around 2am, otherwise mysteriously sleeping through the night

gd taking her first uber alone before i took mr smear to school, working painfully methodically through the morning from mom's coffee shop, picking up mr smear then picking up gd who'd subsequently ubered to her hairdresser in town (so proud!), then mistakenly going to the high school for a stem cell drive that turned out to be closer to home... by that time and in that traffic we weren't going to make it

home, issues with a wired mr smear, finally closing in on the problem i'd been struggling with, a big grocery shopping and successfully getting mr smear to sleep (although not for very long), home and code polishing

i laughed when he sneezed into the bowl he was eating his mushroom pie out of, then promptly forgot about it. later, i stole a spoonful of pie in spite of his protests and the texture reminded me of my earlier laughter and transformed it into disgust and remorse

lots of work (very slow going, very repetitive), showering mr smear and getting him ready for friday night dinner, gd making a real effort to get ready but getting in the car and realizing she'd need to stay home

a really nice dinner at my cousins', mr smear being uncooperative with me but good with everyone else and loving the cat

i think my cousin's finally ready to join me in my recruitment project

a late night, mr smear passing out on the way home, james acaster

saturday 21st:

going to bed at 00.30

everyone sleeping in, getting up first and into reading the invisibles

gd unable to join us visiting my great aunt and cousin from london, a lovely morning, dropping my cousin off at the market, bringing mr smear home and eating a great lunch before heading off to finally get my second laser treatment, parking in an entitled jaguar driver, home for some more the invisibles and introducing mr smear to the smashing pumpkins and nirvana music videos

taking mr smear to the aquarium, but he passed out as we entered the parking lot (again) so i grabbed a cup of coffee and had a long chat with horseman, then i ran him (literally) to the aquarium for the last ten minutes before closing, then stopped for falafel and a smoothie before taking him home to shower and get into bed

james acaster is phenomenal.

sunday 22nd:

an easy morning, taking mr smear to the waterfront (and the aquarium in time for feeding), him enjoying kale (!) and then choosing a kale and spinach frozen "yoghurt" (based on the color) which tasted so good he didn't believe it had spinach in it

returning home and putting him in bed, struggling with an uncomfortable belly, sailor coming over for a while, mr smear refusing dinner, mom coming over for a quick shower, showering mr smear and getting him into bed, jordan peterson videos, the remainder of thirty minutes or it's free (great!), an online race debate

monday 23rd:

working until after 2am, the same tedious and time-consuming loop giving me plenty of time to read more of the invisibles (and a little bit of kill six billion demons...)

going to bed with the foghorn, waking up at 6am to a cold, wet morning; mr smear waking me up with great rock music

even having woken up at six, still unable to leave on time and only managing the car service pickup because the mechanic was late

working hard and getting nowhere on a side-problem that should not be (IIS crashing because entity framework asynchronous tasks are failing disgracefully), walking to the school to pick up mr smear and noticing some of the area's details for the first time, picking up an exhausted mr smear on the one day i didn't have a car and having to carry him back to the gardens centre, ordering a wrap at pulp kitchen and having him pass out on my shoulder while i waited (oh gods, in retrospect i could simply have taken the stroller with me if i'd known there wouldn't be buses due to a strike)

the mechanic arriving unannounced, forcing me to hurriedly pack up and wake mr smear thoroughly before locating him, getting him home awake, his infectious enthusiasm for an activity book i picked up, eating and crashing and waking up a couple of hours later feeling totally awful and certain that mr smear and i had picked up a bug

more frustrating work and feeling a bit bad for not taking mr smear out, one quick visit to the grocery store, sailor arriving to show me the new dev machine that he wasn't ready to part with yet, getting mr smear showered and into bed and talking strategy for a while

thinking i'd figured things out then finding out i was wrong

tuesday 24th:

finishing book 1 of the invisibles (the opening stories were fantastic, the rest were merely entertaining) while repeatedly refactoring and testing until eventually going to bed after 2am having made progress but not nearly enough (and still unsure of how or why)

crawling out of bed at 7.30-ish
dropping mr smear off late
reading a cool short story (welcome to your authentic indian experience) and purchasing an acoustic guitar and a ukulele for mr smear while waiting for my shock absorbers to be seen to - which they weren't, and i still haven't gotten them replaced
more work frustration at my mom's coffee shop
mr smear passing out to tool :)
coming home famished, remembering the notes to tool - jimmy when testing out the acoustic

lots of fun familiarizing ourselves with the strings as a family, mr smear really getting into his ukulele

working hard and effectively giving up for a crap workaround, then dropping mr smear off at the gym crèche, running well for fifteen minutes then doing good bag work for another fifteen before showering quickly, taking mr smear home, meeting the sprout king on the way to picking up something from the pharmacy, leaving mr smear and getting gd to her class

a very interesting class, coming home for a quick dinner, working until midnight and then going to bed

wednesday 25th:

mr smear waking us up at 6.30 to play guitar, the pretender being the first song of the day

learning that an old friend's mother, whom i hadn't so much as thought about in over twenty years, passed away recently and being struck by a surprising sadness and a flood of fond memories

settling into to mom's cafe, taking quite a while to get started with work and my investigation moving really slowly; remembering to order a muffin for the principal on the way to picking up mr smear

mr smear falling asleep just before we arrived home, heading out for an important meeting with sailor which ended with a delicious lunch at the sunshine sprouting co.

needing to lie down while chatting with horseman, but not for very long because mr smear woke me to play guitar with him; taking him to the aquarium for a fun half hour, then a grocery shopping. he was mostly well-behaved until we came home and he tried throwing a couple of tantrums, which must have tired him out as he went straight to bed without showering and passed out while i read a grimm tale

watching an impressive first episode of the alienist, working until

thursday 26th:

past 00.30 after intentionally consuming caffeine, which didn't help much so i got up at 7am with everyone else

the morning disappearing frightfully fast, dropping mr smear off late and being rewarded with a view of the kids racing around the playground

a few frustrating hours at mom's coffee shop, sadly just missing a downpour on the way to pick mr smear up (the car needed a wash)

filling up the tank on the way home, learning that the attendants are too scared to ask people not to smoke in the petrol station because not long ago some guy jumped out of his car and attacked them with a knife for doing so

mr smear napping until we got home, lunch and guitar practice before heading to my mom's apartment to try and get some more work done, not really making any more progress than in the morning although some of the lack of success could perhaps be attributed to struggles downloading the new battletech game which finally came out

coconut water and wasabi peas on the way home, taking mr smear for a walk to the park, lots of dogs to play with, rushing home

receiving the news that i'm a great uncle - holy crap!

gd's last hebrew class with the good teacher, a very interesting study session about the talit

coming home to a sleeping mr smear, dinner and jordan peterson videos, another excellent episode of the alienist, work and

friday 27th:

distractions (including severe rls) and mr smear coughing himself awake

paying for beyond compare, feeling cheated, organizing a refund and heading back into kdiff3's arms (i like beyond compare, but kdiff3's just fine so i'm ultimately glad i didn't get what i wanted)

into bed just before 2.30am

up early, being disappointed that it wasn't fancon yet, a little guitar, being inspired to write by my younger niece's abhorrent behaviour (she was rude to my sister who'd messaged her to congratulate her on becoming an aunt)

mr smear showering with gd for the first time, visiting my uncle and his son-in-law and watching the end of the korean war, learning (slowly) to just ignore his political views and bigotry

taking mr smear to kirstenbosch with my mom and turning around when we realized he'd passed out, him waking up as we got back, me taking a nap

reading a bit of the long earth (simply incredible), taking a call with a colleague and at the very end mr smear lacerating his frenulum while horsing about on the couch; gd throwing her back out completely helping me ready him for an ER visit (we had been struggling to find indoor entertainment because of the cold, wet weather and that seemed to do)

my mom meeting us at the hospital, a very expensive assurance that he was fine by the same doctor that treated mr smear the previous year

mr smear falling asleep in the car again, stopping at cape quarter for my mom, ordering dinner, picking it up, carrying it home (loose), grocery shopping with my mom, kiddush and dinner and bedtime (reading him grimm to sleep)

vlc trouble, falling asleep on the couch in front of monty python documentaries on netflix (meh, really not interesting)

saturday 28th:

moving to the bed at midnight, then waking up at 5.30am for mr smear's coughing fit and more rejection - he'd been keeping me at arm's length for a couple of days and i began to seriously consider that my beard was implicated

gd letting me sleep in, breakfast and waiting for an appraisal team that arrived two hours late (unlike thursday, where the guy didn't bother to pitch at all), guitars and ukuleles

taking mr smear to the park, some fun moments, him falling asleep on the way home and waking just as i reached into the stroller to transfer him to his bed and my mom rang with her uncanny timing

catching an hour's rest, then taking mr smear to a birthday party in tableview and arriving with him snoring loudly behind me; having a chance to say hi and grab something to drink before waking him up to play

a lovely but chilly afternoon, a pleasant drive home, an early night for everyone

sunday 29th:

fancon:

1. mr smear meeting a silent spiderman! i couldn't take a photo without gd, sadly... we did get a photo taken with a life-sized batman, however, and then later mr smear wanted to go back to give him a hug
2. picking up a beautiful local sci-fi story called nero: genesis
3. the overweight dancers in predator outfits were actually pretty cool
4. no toys for children, but some cool figurines that i sadly couldn't justify purchasing for myself
5. asking about local publishers and being directed to someone who might be able to help
6. mistaking a large group of religious muslims for cosplayers for a moment (awkward)

a long afternoon without naps, eventually taking mr smear to the park where he passed out on arrival, returning home in the wind to discover that i'd lost my keys - struggling in my panic to find out from the security guard if he'd seen anything only to realize that he'd picked up the keys and was just messing with me

a weird but pleasant reunion at an old friend's shiva house, home for delicious kimchi, shower and bedtime, and slowly falling asleep on the couch watching the alienist

monday 30th:

up at 7am, a few minutes on the guitar reassuring me that muscle memory really is a thing, at the park by 10.30 to meet the friend that mr smear thought would be at fancon (i think he now believes that fancon is his friend's mother's name), some good stuff and some less good, him eating well before we left, the extra mileage stopping at baby city failing to put him to sleep (possibly the fault of my choice of dr horrible's sing-along blog as accompaniment), watching the series while eating lunch

taking a nap (just me) for an hour and waking up feeling stoned: the new cleaning lady took one look at me and suggested we need to pray more. and take some magic herbs that she just happens to be a reseller for...

mr smear passing out as we arrived at gd's (new?) chiropractor, taking the opportunity to grab a coffee and standing behind the husband of the bully (bitermom) who convinced us to leave mr smear's previous school

grocery shopping, waking mr smear when getting in the car, a doctor's visit, rushing home to let the cleaning lady leave and finding her locked out on the balcony with no phone

picking up gd and mr smear, returning home to unpack, eat, shower (to a michael jackson playlist, i thought he'd be into it but he defiantly continued to sing the chorus of the pretender until i put it on

a long bedtime, three original grimm tales that had me walking out shocked to repeat to gd - powerful stuff! and very dark.

jordan peterson videos before getting to work

tuesday 1st may:

working until 2.15am while continuing to watch videos because the edit / compile / test cycle was so long

gd waking up feeling the the previous day's chiropractor had done her more harm than good and myself struggling with cranial nerve pressure

a good start to the day (and end), feeling grateful that we've picked up guitar (and ukulele) and stretching a part of my brain that i didn't even know i missed - just repeating the basic chords over and over and saying their names until i kinda get them

taking mr smear to the company gardens to feed the squirrels, his first milkstache from a soy babyccino, going to the waterfront to check out the two big toy stores and deciding to look for figurines online, mr smear still not asleep by the time we returned home so i walked him around a couple of blocks

gd eating something with strawberries!!!

discovering that mr smear and i won a prize at fancon that includes a weekend pass for two to comiccon in johannesburg!! (flights not included, but my brother's happy to host us)

driving out to oudemolan to meet an old schoolmate, mr smear's first horse ride (so cool!) with an amazing mountain sunset backdrop, the kids really enjoying each others' company while we chatted until it was late

home, shower (an improvement over the previous two days), guitar and ukulele practice, dinner

news that gd's brother's leg's been amputated above the knee and he's in serious pain

getting mr smear to bed, enjoying reading him to sleep again but leaving his room at 9.30pm :/
another great episode of the alienist, settling in to a very slow night of work

wednesday 2nd:

taking some time to publish a summary of my zombie thesis and a challenge to jordan peterson (obviously it won't count unless it's on youtube), downloading battletech on my mom's wifi because i have to have my copy even if i don't know when i'll get a chance to play it.

a little nero: genesis, a last bit of work and mini metro until 3am (i didn't say i was smart)

roughly up at 7.45, getting mr smear to class just before 9 and laughing at him amusing one of his friends by interrupting his song with fake sneezing

returning home to take gd to see a specialist - of course it would rain the day after i had the car washed - reading a bit while waiting, stopping at pulp kitchen for wraps with a background of elderly sausage finger sucking and dying seal barks, beginning to fall asleep while waiting for the food

picking up a sad mr smear who wanted to stay and play with the teacher (he'd had a fallout with his friends), napping on arrival, waking up to him crying inconsolably for half an hour and managing to calm him down a minute before gd returned home (of course)

taking mr smear to mambo's but discovering that they close before 6pm (?!), turning around then taking the wrong route to pick up my mom to pick up some things at the waterfront; a quick shopping mission taking an hour and a half due to a certain needy boy, and we were no longer able to get to the temple's lag ba'omer festivities :(

dinner and bedtime, an episode of the alienist, a little dangermouse and then a quick nap that turned into a full night's sleep

thursday 3rd:

a tough morning with a disagreeable mr smear, dropping him off and taking gd through to her not-hypnotherapy session, housekeeping but no work progress, a visit to wellness warehouse and picking up frozen coconut yoghurt from myog, struggling to get mr smear to the car but the not-yoghurt motivating him nicely, trying to manually induce a nap but strolling him around the block but after an hour coming home quite demoralized

a quick lunch, then a run to mambo's and shoprite to learn that it's nigh impossible to find reasonably priced action figures / dolls appropriate for boys

next level guitar callouses

a little work before taking mr smear out to the beach and park, finally meeting our israeli neighbours from two years ago and really hitting it off

dinner, figuring out the shower problem (he prefers me to pick him up to wash his hair, which sucks for my back but fine), a pleasant bedtime, watching the amazing spiderman 2 for the second time because we'd both forgotten the story

booking flights for comiccon! (the hopper app is fantastic)

friday 4th:

work - which basically meant staying up until 3am struggling with git branch selective merging while entertaining myself with random stuff that included nero: genesis

up and at 'em: waking up a 7.45am with a buzzing sensation under my skin, getting a couple of sips of coffee in before getting mr smear to school around 8.30

being very grateful on his behalf - one of his friends was trying to hug him, and after a bit of a struggle mr smear hit him; i was greatly relieved to hear his friend tell him "that's too rough" and give him an opportunity to apologize

arriving at skinny legs cafe much earlier than planned and finding a parking across the road, sailor not pitching for our meeting and being unable to get hold of him so using the time to get through some paid work; a long and deeply personal discussion before a business agreement before leaving to pick up mr smear, who'd had a much better day and happily hugged me hello and didn't make a fuss about leaving (*phew!*)

stopping myself from getting out of the car to yell at an entitled old man who almost hit us, later lecturing an older woman about driving responsibly when she drove into an occupied pedestrian crossing while checking her phone - it's mind-bogglingly normal here for people to text and drive or talk without a hands-free

walking mr smear around the block but giving up on the nap, guitar practice (much to his chagrin, he was certain there was youtube time coming), meeting gd and then sailor for lunch at the sunshine sprouting company, bringing it home for a bit of nutrition science ball-busting before sailor finally prepared the macbook for me while i worked

suddenly feeling exhausted and possibly ill, taking mr smear shopping and struggling to keep him awake; home for a traditional friday night and a simple supper, an early bedtime for mr smear, watching justice league (and barely being able to see it through, i enjoyed it but i'm pretty sure i missed stuff), pre-bed computer sorting that took an hour longer than anticipated and finally crashing around 11.30pm

saturday 5th:

tantrum morning and a toothbrushing that upset gd almost as much as it upset mr smear

taking mr smear to the waterfront, the live looping musical genius blowing us away with his digeridoo / electric violin / keyboard / guitar / triangle / shaker / beatboxing

meeting our brazilian friends and going to the new indoor play area (it's permanent!) to spend the next couple of hours getting physical on their obstacle course

a failed attempt to repeat the previous kale success, waiting impatiently behind the drunk dad who couldn't figure out the menu and didn't give a damn

a lovely harbour cruise, good play and then long naps for everyone!

going to my mom's to download xcode on the unlimited connection, which took a while, then coming back home for dinner, showertime and bedtime which went pretty well

watching captain america: the winter soldier

sunday 6th:

setting up the macbook, vaguely remembering how it works

there's nothing like your child repeatedly yelling "go away mommy and daddy!" in their sleep at 1am

crashing after 1.30 feeling a bit more secure about phonegap

up and at 'em, an emergency pharmacy run interrupting an otherwise efficient leaving, a beautiful day at kirstenbosch that mr smear enjoyed except for lunchtime with sailor (not only was he tired and bored, but he refused to try the delicious vegan choc chip muffin or the mediterranean salad he usually loves; trying to drink his babyccino upside down failed spectacularly, hiking a trail with him asleep in the stroller and a playdate with a teacher friend who had some very interesting things to say about the local schools and helpful information regarding age-appropriate learning

a solid sing-along drive home, my mom visiting after a long weekend away, falling asleep while putting mr smear to bed, crashing on the couch for a bit then moving to the bed

monday 7th:

sleeping until 7.30, dropping off mr smear and getting some work done at mom's coffee shop, picking him up getting him home awake... a roundtrip to download at my mom's and pick up groceries, then taking him to the waterfront

he was almost asleep before he saw his plastic bike, getting good exercise, the play area by the smoker's corner, a second visit to the superpark (climbing wall frustration, and mr smear calling the kids on the monkey bars monkeys, but generally having a good time), a visit to the aquarium with tears post-sandpit and a photo-booth rescue of the day

home, dinner, reasonable bedtime, half of captain america: civil war

cranial nerve pressure and a tender swelling at the top of my spine

tuesday 8th:

working hard until almost 1am (when i was supposed to be in bed pre-meeting with the potential publisher)

the disappointment in my coworker who a) couldn't figure out something that i thought was pretty straightforward and b) didn't say anything until he'd already burned a full workday

4.30am drama with mr smear that gd took care of

waking up from a dream wherein YWE, kanye's father, was a phenomenal poet and we were laughing about how we'd never had any interest in kanye until we began appreciating where he came from

stress getting ready for a meeting that i had the wrong date for

that terrifying relief when only *almost* spilling coffee over your workstation keyboard

mr smear not napping again, walking around and stopping for a smoothie, running into our neighbour friends, gd switching places with me, the cleaning lady not pitching and getting a bit of a rest

mr smear initially unimpressed that i wouldn't put the tv on, but then playing really nicely for a while as i got some work done

mom taking over, a good class but ending with some hebrew teacher drama

back of my head swelling: dr google informing me that i either had some kind of infection, or cancer

wednesday 9th:

working hard until 2am

forgotten laptop bag but early to class

DRIVING PSI:

it appears that most people on the roads don't know this, so please do help me share: indicators are designed to be used BEFORE you make your turn, so that the drivers around you can anticipate where you're planning on going and drive accordingly. using them AS you turn is utterly useless.

also, if somebody lets you pass, deep nose picking is not the appropriate hand signal to say "thank you".

it's not a tumour, i just have severe muscular distress all over my skull and upper back

struggling with road rage when picking up mr smear (starting to thing that a nuclear apocalypse might not be such a bad thing), getting him into bed (!) and taking a nap myself before diving into my coworker's task... initially being okay with helping him out, but then he just seemed to get lazy

a heavy grocery shopping during a software update, taking mr smear to the gym

forgetting my shoes again, hitting the bag hard for forty five minutes; discovering during my cool-down set that my left shoulder has very little mobility (i failed to strike a target with my elbow)

taking mr smear to the park for a gorgeous sunset, coming home for some good music and introducing him to pink floyd

a huge (and delicious) dinner, an easy shower (i got a really nice hug while drying him, and when i asked him if he didn't like my beard he told me "you can't take it off, daddy" ^_^), and an awesome bedtime: after reading green eggs and ham together (he finishes the sentences), mr smear put together a little play using our hands to represent our family members hugging each other before turning in

finishing captain america: civil war (hardcore) before getting back to work

this. good night.