the end of the first leave

it's sunday night, tomorrow morning i go back to work after a much-needed-but-still-not-nearly-enough week of parental leave...

sunday 17th:

haircuts, groping grannies and unwelcome mall mothers, home and heavy shopping

...

dream: trance dance hilltop, third day trying to return to the floor jumping in the public shower being unable to lock the door because some woman was blocking it then her boyfriend bullying me out, i tried punching him but was unable to cause him to so much as flinch after repeated hits to the jaw, leaving humiliated

3.30am lying in bed trying to understand why i haven't heard from the illustrator in a week

monday 18th:

beating yoshimitsu and almost beating devil jin in the tekken 6 scenario campaign and feeling really good about it

parental leave inspiration

bash success, a chaotic day at work, a walk to walmart in temperatures* that have migrated from "temperate" to "mean", but which were mild compared to those going home after dark

* including the wind chill factor, that's what was really hurting

rushed leftovers, a bath, a blur of an evening and then suddenly it was 10pm and he was in bed and we were getting ready for bed

tuesday 19th:

another long night, weird dreams and no more than an hour and a half of sleep at a time, mr smear making creepy, worrying movements with his neck whenever i put him in his crib

brief tekken, hunter x hunter and then hurrying to get ready for both work and laser treatment

a day of varied success, with some exciting progress in laravel; receiving authorization for taking paternal leave next week

both thomas was alone and limbo increasing in intensity to ridiculous levels

the dirty fist bump in the iga

the man walked out of the metro car, but his smell continued to fill it as intensely as if he had remained, to the point where breathing was a painful experience and the fear of leaving with his stain - whether by smell or by disease - became a very palpable thing

with gd ill the night flew by too fast, the pleasure of feeding an enthusiastic mr smear followed by the frustration of having forgotten to feed myself until he was in bed and the last thing i wanted was to risk waking him with the unsuppressible pings and dings of our toaster oven or microwave

wednesday 20th:

a gift from the illustrator

multiple wakings but feeling powered up after three straight hours before dawn; learning that while i appreciate dave chapelle as an artist i don't enjoy his comedy, taking back my morning with hunter x hunter and making myself a breakfast shake for the first time in days

a rushed morning and then an urgent call to come home (that horrible feeling that you're not going to finish your work before taking a week off)

my first time winter dressing mr smear alone and under pressure

no signs for the emergency room
a changing table two units over
cleaning lady blowing something in my eye as i walked past
waiting room giggles
long wait, unpleasant conditions, don't patronize my wife when she has a legitimate request and then remind her that there were issues with her when those issues were an incompetent nurse wiggling the iv needle twice and gd was simply the first patient to complain because her screams of agony weren't enough of a hint

lost winter gear (we thought we'd left it behind, but we hadn't), a bad metro driver

hardcore frontside poop and difficulty getting mr smear to bed before midnight

thursday 21st:

garbage day, dinner, sleep. or not exactly, managing to get very little of it and then suddenly it was 7am

calling in sick, struggling to deal with the fact that gd still needs help and that the hours in emergency were wasted because the doctor felt it was more important to protect his staff than his patients

dirty changing station
long wait with an autistic kid

being the parent of the child practicing vocalizations in a waiting room is a very different experience. i feel bad for anyone not feeling well, but it can be remarkably amusing and we're not going to shut him up when he's just starting to learn how to express himself

the $70 cost of not realizing it was thursday

putting on boots when bone-weary and warm and sleepy post shower
"didn't you pick up your prescription already?" is not a good thing to hear

going for one thing and then forgetting it and having to return
finally lying down... to rls

friday 22nd:

running into nox on the way to work who made me feel like a fool for even considering going, coming home to a family meeting with my mom and then gd's babysitting friend coming over to sign a photo and join us on our mission to passport canada and the police headquarters. both experiences were actually pretty good, the latter being especially impressive considering that we arrived without an appointment (nobody had warned us that we need to make an appointment) and they saw us anyway

hunter x hunter while amusing mr smear, getting him to sleep and eating quickly so we could join him

saturday 23rd:

not an easy night, taking a turn for the worse at 5am when mr smear decided that he was done sleeping

gd refusing to return to the emergency unit, vfmp giving us a hand with the shopping

sunday 24th:

the rest of the weekend being pretty restful, although we did complete an important form and put the old car seat up for sale...

freaks and geeks and a talkative mr smear

monday 25th:

nightmare sleeping disruptions compounded with misunderstood venting and an eye / ear scratching scare

laundry folding and first contact and sharing mr smear's first carrot experience with my mom (he's eating gratifyingly well) and printing. the realization that the experience of feeding mr smear was something i would've missed out on had i been at work...

what an exhausting afternoon and evening spent doing very little... which was kind of the point of taking paternity leave, but it's still weird.

tuesday 26th:

folding laundry, hunter x hunter chimera ant madness, finally getting into wii fit, setting up an interview, putting more stuff up for sale, bath-time happiness souring over a bad response
a long wait for a late doctor who wasn't particularly helpful, bad moods but a good feeding when we got home, a great dinner with horseman

wednesday 27th:

a long night, up early for a no-show interview, scary icy shopping run, flight scheduling, pseudo-resting, and afternoon of an irritable mr smear, a family shopping trip to a rude metro, dinners and a stealth side poop becoming a song and dance
we all have fantasized about meeting our clones, but that surreal moment seeing yourself in your kid is insane
taking out the trash followed by a long and difficult goodnight mr smear

staying up late to watch the last couple of episodes of freaks and geeks again with gd

thursday 28th:

a pretty good night's sleep, still tired but no more than i'm used to; a relaxed morning, a messy sweet potato feeding and then grabbing the opportunity for an outside haircut when the babysitter arrived

the man on the metro with what appeared to be an audio cable plugged into a port on the back of his head about halfway between his spine and his ear

p.m. delivery (it's the tofu skins she likes!), gd's horror over my haircut (i'm not allowed back there again), desperate nap and difficulty waking up for my meeting

the mind blowing revelation that i've talked about myself for hours and given away nothing of who i am (like my blog, except that i've been talking exclusively about my experiences and motivations)

friday 29th:

two decent nights in a row, an early struggle to get mr smear measured (a positive experience overall), gd's health rapidly degrading after mr smear's bath, nothing but stress

emergency post-toilet eye drops swim pharmacy run, ridiculous fails trying to get myself and mr smear ready to join gd at the clinic (lost mittens and the front of the winter suit going under my dirty boots)
the long evening in the waiting room; gd's birthday present excitement

finally, a doctor with a decent bedside manner who explained what everything actually means

saturday 30th:

three decent nights in a row

an unproductive morning followed by a family shopping expedition, an irritable mr smear who i suspect has a bit of a cold, a meeting of the minds with my mom about our trip to cape town

sunday 31st:

four decent nights, we may not be getting a full night's sleep yet but the situation has definitely improved

mr smear's first tooth is making an appearance!

a disappointing ending to a disappointing season of hunter x hunter (season five, i hope there's a sixth on the way)

a busy day doing not much, humid and warm inspiring us to finally clean the humidifier - and screw it up completely

it's scary planning details...

the post-shower rush to pick up dinner, good dinner, bath headache followed by hitting an ugly language barrier in a tense situation, a good recovery but needing to take something for the headache...

... and now to try and get some sleep