shaky cam to ice and snow

i went to bed late over bullshit*, and was so tired that my eyes produced a shaky-cam effect that was most disturbing. i slept well in spite of long, busy, epic dreams involving being in the army and for some reason stationed in a hotel.

* and sweet and spicy crunchy almonds. continuing to look at rubbish online was actually an excuse to keep eating them.

...

i woke up pre-alarm and i wasn't feeling too sleepy. i arrived on time for the metro but it was delayed by about fifteen minutes - in addition to the discomfort of the intense crush of people all the way across the city i was also rendered late :(

i felt fine and was doing pretty well until about halfway through when my brain decided it was time to return to dreamland. i spent the following hour and a half fighting it (mostly unsuccessfully) with my mind decidedly not with the program and my eyelids feeling like ten pound weights. perhaps it was the lack of oxygen in the room? i did feel better when i stepped outside and breathed some frozen air.

i'm not sure how i feel about lunch, i was excited to find couscous and salads in the berri-uqam food hall but it was kind of... not amazing. and then my stomache started complaining :(
i passed out on the metro, almost missing my stop. i was upset when i arrived at the clinic to discover that i'd been told that i had an appointment when there are no such things as appointments. i would have to wait another hour to see the specialist, which i spent in and out of consciousness in the waiting room. i was groggy when i finally went in for the consultation. apparently i seem fine, he seems extremely competent and i was upset when he got defensive because i think he mistook my frustration with my inability to communicate my symptoms clearly as frustration with him :(

anyway, he's sent me off to see a couple of even more special specialists and parted with a suggestion that it's possible that my issues are caused by emotional stress. i really like that man, i hope he's right and i'm going to be giving a lot of thought to that.

i returned home and lay down on the couch for some of that dead sleep that was almost impossible to wake from and aside from getting up at one point to open the damned balcony door because the heating had gotten unbearable i kept snoozing through my alarm until i really had to make a decision about going to gym. i was exhausted but i knew that i would regret not going...

i'm horrified to think of what i wouldn't have known i'd missed if i hadn't chugged an energy drink and headed out! instead of joining the jiu-jitsu class i went to advanced kickboxing and did a good job in spite of my breathing, and afterwards a few of us took over the octagon for some jiu-jitsu exercises and then sparring. i worked with the demotivator again but this time had a coach on the side and i learned a hell of a lot!
on a different note, the beast was in class and he let me know that i'd completely forgotten about our arrangement to meet for sparring with tristar's most respected muay thai coach on thursday! he was cool about it but i felt really bad :$

so after watching the end of ufc 156 i found the art of flight on netflix, and i watched that with an icepack on my leg until i realized that i've run out of night again :( [the snowboard documentary is breathtaking]