still not

finally going to bed at 4am, once the pictures were uploaded, then waking up soon after to go to work, wasn't right.

i felt horrible today.

i might not be the only one.

at least the remnant puddles of rain in the relatively quiet street while i waited for the bus, with groovy beats pouring out from my earphones and down my spine, moving my feet until my calves ached, reflected the trees to affect a sense of being surrounded by nature, all the better to contemplate the triumph of yesterday.

highlight of the day: a comment that the organizers received that was so much more than mere praise that most of us were quite overwhelmed - this whole ordeal was so well worth the trouble, that even now as i sit here exhausted and feeling broken i can't help but smile ^_^

most of the work day was uninteresting, but the end had a twist - i spent two hours completely redoing something fundamental, only to be told afterwards that that wasn't what i'd been asked for. "i never asked for that," says mmf - and after much frustration and explanations i found the email with the new design, approved by both bosses, and suddenly inner gears clicked and whirred and everyone realized what i'd been asked for, and it's not what anyone had wanted.

at least the changes weren't a complete waste. still aggravating, though. and those clowns don't understand how to use a whiteboard - we have two of them, both requested specifically by me, and both filled with calendars and items from to-do lists instead of being free to sketch - so i had to jump up and act out the changes i plan on making.

you know what? i like mmf, and my boss, and working with yogi, and i'm exceedingly grateful to have a job that pays the bills and lets me do my own things as well, but i don't think i'm going to be completely distraught if something better comes along - there are things in the office that simply aren't right. not the least of which being the attitudes of all involved... from ethics and culture to professionalism.

the second office was a pleasure, though. i had a productive chat with sorter, another one with our office musician, and my co-worker and i made headway. i arrived home a couple of hours ago, had a quick and insufficient dinner, and didn't really talk much with pg because my head's been spinning - i can read just fine, but actively participating in conversation has been too much effort for most of the day... now i'm going to try to get some sleep.