excommunicated

and exhausted too, i think i may be coming down with something.

here goes:

the story with the polygraph has indeed come to an end, and today the ramifications were explained to me. slowly, because the flowery language and officious appeal advice combined with my shock that this is really happening made it hard to let anything sink in.

at least the man in the suit wasn't lying about one of the things i was terrified of, and i'm almost considering trying to thank him.

the first time i walked out i was surprised and relieved, believing that i could essentially continue in my current job without too many inconveniences. then i got a call asking me to return, to be informed that i most certainly can't. i was told i'd be given time to inform my commanders in person, but that was by someone who didn't realize that it'd take me more than a half an hour to get back to base.

getting called by them to discuss things was a little awkward.

i got caught in a downpour as i returned for the third time to have lunch with my SC who'd just arrived, who (i'm guessing in an attempt to get information out of me) told me that he'd already found out everything. that's completely inappropriate, grounds for a solid case for invading my privacy, and really upset me. he pulled a quick (and totally trustworthy) "no, i didn't" when i told him i'm going to file charges.

thunder and lighting have been punctuating my thoughts since i walked off the base. i zombied my way home and crashed for almost an hour, and now i'm not sure why i forced myself to get up.

---
the fluff:

i slept later than i'd planned, had breakfast, and almost missed the bus because a shirt button ripped off just as i was leaving. i sewed it pretty quickly, made it on time, and didn't have too much difficulty finding the place.

the first person who stood up to greet me didn't introduce himself, so i awkwardly and uncertainly asked if he was the man i was supposed to meet. we both said "no" in unison as my eyes rested on his name tag. irritated by his strange manners, i went to the kitchen where he'd sent me to wait, only to discover that there were no cups for the drinking water. i stood staring at the remarkable view until the cleaner arrived to wash the floors, and was forced progressively up the corridor until i had no choice but to stand my ground or leave the premises. so i saved a dirty spot, which seemed to upset the cleaner.

they certainly kept me waiting long enough. just before i was finally called in, i witnessed a tall, odd-looking young man arrive at the security door. he rattled the knob, gave the door a push, but to no avail. he tried to swipe his security card, but he wasn't cleared for the area. he stood sullenly staring at the glass until he registered the intercom. he picked it up to his ear, trying to talk to whoever wasn't on the line: it's an intercom that one has to dial. i entered before getting to see if he managed to figure it out or not.

...

i gave my mother the not-so-awful news, stopped at home to drop something off and then returned circuitously to meet my SC. we met over lunch, and i was sickened to discover that the mess on our other base serves food with the quality, cleanliness and variety of a decent israeli hotel, whereas on our base one would be hard-pressed to define what we get as food in the first place. i'm fairly certain that's not right, and just as certain that if anyone complains they'll drop their standards to match ours.

i think i may have eaten too much, just on principle.

i've been home for a while, i've called someone to quote me on fixing the small window, and i think i'm going to just chill for the rest of the afternoon.