the last week of midsection

overall impression: disgusting.
overall result: highly successful.
overall satisfaction level: "it's only just begun"

i've made mike and ike's known to my fellow soldiers, and now everyone's hooked ^_^

27th:

i arrived on base an hour early, which gave me a headstart on studying. we then went through the physical trauma of unpacking everybody's gear from storage... when only a third of us had arrived. in the heat, already tired, and all the group leaders had to do to make it fair and efficient was to wait an hour for the rest of the guys to pitch.

as it was, we spent the day wasting time, and it took me until the end to convince them to let me study whenever the clock strikes "game-time". i had a forrest gump moment stripping my weapon, and spent the evening in the kitchens washing dishes. while there, i met a beautiful american girl who seems rather nice.

28th:

i pulled a guard shift at 3am - please notice how they made an effort to keep their promise to catch me up, kitchen and guard duty in the same night in addition to the wasted hours beforehand. instead of going back to sleep, i studied from the end of my shift until sunrise, and passed out almost in time to wake up again.

in the morning, our particularly stupid (and loud) group leader pulled me and two others aside: "if you want to pray in the mornings, you either pray every morning or none. decide now."

not only was that a completely illegal command, but since the ensuing argument every time i did consider going to a service i thought of her and got pissed off, which for me ruined something that i was beginning to enjoy again. it took me a couple of mornings to become agitated enough to file a formal complaint, and i took her aside for a chat just before doing so. when i reported to her commander she took it better than i expected, so i guess the chat must have helped.

we spent the morning studying alone, in our tents, and it was the best study session we had the entire time. i was taken aside so that our officer could interview me - i didn't think to remind him to ask me about my future aspirations, so he dismissed me after i listed my hobbies. useful.

29th:

we had to wake up around 4.15am, and were surprised with 15 minutes to pack and stow all our gear. nice one. we were bussed to a different base to undergo the final physical and written examinations.

86 "special" situps: killer crunches that aren't very good for you. and they're not that easy to do. i got my partner to complete his for the first time, and i managed them all without any problems, but the fun part was the thirty or so that i didn't even notice because i was busy reciting "the spirit of the IDF". the group leader next to me was totally blown away, the guy assisting me was giggling, and the examining officer advised me to recite it in my head as the next base we'll be doing the physical on doesn't allow for that sort of thing.

bummer.

75 push-ups: i suck. i can manage 33, but my arms simply give out afterwards. i really need to work on that.

the 4km walk: i just can't do the power-walk. the slowest out-pace me by a couple of kph, and i'll admit it does look like i'm taking a stroll... but i'm not. i really can't walk faster than what i'm doing, and every single person who saw me called out to put my back into it or laughed at me. after about fifteen times i'd had enough and i'd lost my sense of humour, and shouted back "what, would you like me to put myself into a wheelchair for this stupid test?!"

that wasn't the right thing to say. i'm very lucky that the person in question was the same officer from the sit-ups and push-ups, who seems to be quite into me and wants me to pass. she gave me a short lecture on exactly how uncool what i said was, and then added another couple of things i need to watch out for. the bottom line is that in addition to her being right, and in addition to my needing to learn how to power-walk without screwing up my neck, i need to keep my cool.

about half of our group had to wait outside for the written examination... and i allowed myself a much needed nap instead of doing the last-minute studying that usually doesn't help anyway.

the big test: the very same officer (suspicious, much?) helped me out a lot with the hebrew... i actually felt the need to hint to make sure that she didn't help me with the subject material itself - at one point she saw where my mouse was hovering and gave me a look that i had to make an effort to ignore. i covered my screen with my hand and she got the idea :P

71 with a pass mark of 75 didn't do much for my head, but i didn't know at the time that it was only a partial mark and there would be a factor... my final mark was the second highest in the group!

we had a solid lunch, and then had to wait for another group to write theirs. none of us cared if they had an advantage (they'd heard a good amount of the answers from the previous examinees) because we had an hour and a half of solid siesta. imagine about 25 soldiers lying on the floor of a semi-abandoned military warehouse, snoring away in absolute bliss. that was the most perfect army afternoon i think any of us has ever had!

30th:

a small group of us spent the morning doing physical labour. i was assigned to two groups (again with the learning assistance, my commanders really cared), and while performing the tasks for the second one i managed to hurt my ankle :(

the man in charge of the first group laughed at me for only managing 33 push-ups the day before - the dude's a tank and can do 150 in a set. he stopped laughing when it came time to carry the gear - everyone, including him, struggled to pick up the single stacks and i was easily loping with a stack on each shoulder. neither of us can figure out what the deal is.

girl in the armoury: "do you want me to take your weapon?"
"i've got two shekels, how much of your time does that buy me?"
i'm really glad she didn't take that as sexual harrassment.

i was given my officer's review - and my only negative quality is my lack of trust regarding my group leaders. that's surprising... :S

at the tail end of our closing discussion with our course commander:
"do you want to say something?"
"no, i deliberately didn't put my hand up."
"so you have something to say."
"yes, but i don't want to say it."
"then tell me in private afterwards."

i didn't want my group to get the impression that i was making suggestions and comments behind their backs, so i did pipe up in the public forum. i told him that the group leaders are responsible for the lack of discipline, because if you shout a lot without actually punishing you're sending a simple message that's not very positive.

immediately, the group leaders and sergeants pounced: "it's suspicious that you didn't mention it before!". i managed to catch him afterwards and explain that aside from it not being my place to make that observation, i have no idea if it's a good thing or not that the group will be shocked into obedience when they get to the next level.

in the evening, i had my butt kicked while playfighting with a kid who knows karate - i've forgotten how to fight. he's good, but i should be better than i am. we then walked 3.5km really, really, really slowly. it was boring and unpleasant.

31st:

three faults in one morning. i switched off my alarm in my sleep, and i don't know why getting dressed took me so long - i arrived late to the first formation of the day. for my next trick i relied on someone else's timekeeping, and he was late for the following formation.

i can't recall the third fault right now.

while cleaning the toilets, i came across a giant moth, remarkably close in resemblance to a bat, both in ugly mug and in size. it was upside down, and to test its status i gave it a nudge... it didn't like that.

whenever we get into formation we need to provide a list with the locations of the group's absentees. yesterday morning, instead of writing on a piece of paper the list was written on the back of my undershirt, and when the group leader asked us where the list was somebody played james brown - i feel good and i performed a striptease... she was shocked, but it went down well ;)

after getting that over with, the american girl and i had breakfast together. an enjoyable discussion, i wish i knew which direction this is going in.

the officer who helped me out with tuesday's exam needed cable ties, and she noticed my dog-tags haven't been "fixed". she gave me her tag-covering and told me to keep it as a reminder, and to return it after the next phase of the course...

the names of all those who passed the course were read out loud with everyone together. i was completely apathetic until my name was read, and when i heard "pass" the sense of relief was overwhelming - i hadn't realized just how stressed i'd been.

one of the girls who passed managed to get permanently barred from the next phase... during a discussion with a high-ranking officer she couldn't keep her mouth shut. i sat horrified while listening to people saying things completely out of place, and the others involved were really lucky that one person's idiocy distracted the man from the rest of them.

the guy in the base cafeteria is a complete wanker. he can't keep track of cash, and he denied accepting NIS 50 from the girl after me in the queue when i saw him take it and stuff it in the cash drawer. eventually he gave her her money back - then gave me mine back, removing my purchased items and change from the counter before kicking us both out. on monday morning i WILL have him hung out to dry.

the arrival home: getting home, purchasing bad boys 2, full metal jacket and the back to the future trilogy on ebay, getting coffee and a super tuna salad while reading the fall of hyperion at coffeeholic, handling the laundry and chatting with my mum and my course commander... i'm totally impressed with myself that i didn't simply pass out until morning.

the closing party (this morning):

overall impression: disgusting.
overall result: i was there.
overall satisfaction level: trying not to retch.

the kids picked the place in the port that attracts the most arsim. some of the guys got way too drunk. the american girl and i had some good moments, and some completely arbitrary ones that stem from my inability to communicate in a club environment. the note we said goodbye on was lukewarm at best, which i'm taking as a bad sign :/

i played a solid half an hour of abe's exoddus before getting some sleep. i woke up around 10.30 to pick up crash bandicoot: warped... i'd forgotten just how addictive it is! now for the shopping.